A Person with Morals gets Transported to Another World [LitRPG] [Satire]

“How about this one for our next contest?” I asked as I pointed to the words ‘Sauna Battle’ on the leaflet. “It’s described as a battle of wills, and I’ve supposedly got an iron will.” The System had boosted my mental fortitude, and my Mind was naturally increased my base mental strength, therefore it was an obvious choice as for the next contest.

Newmill protested immediately, “I don’t want to get all sweaty in a hot room.”

The prince wasn’t as pampered as his siblings, but he still had that squeamish attitude towards such activities that nobility so often possessed.

“What do you think?” I looked at Penrin. If she refused too, there was no sense in choosing the contest. One of the main benefits of being in a team was the numbers advantage. If only I participated, it was no different than cutting our odds at winning by two-thirds, especially since I wasn’t extremely confident in my winning chances.

Penrin smiled and drilled the knuckles of her fists together. “Let’s do it! I won’t lose if it’s an endurance contest.”

With Penrin’s competitiveness and my mental fortitude, I felt we were well-suited to contend.

The three of us travelled over to the contest’s location. I was surprised to see that the map took us to a place outdoors. It was at the centre of one of the school’s many flower gardens. A large transparent glass cube stood surrounded by benches and people.

The coordinator for this contest was inviting people to come and take part, but many disliked the thought of being baked in a sauna. Students wanted contests where their abilities were better aligned with achieving victory.

“We just need another team of three,” said the coordinator. She was a short woman with her hair tied into a single braid.

“We want to participate,” I said.

“Oh, good!” The woman clasped her hands together. “I’m the school’s chef. For this sauna battle, you will have to survive the longest without leaving this sauna. Whichever person, or team, is the last still sitting inside this glass cube will be the winner.” She indicated to the transparent sauna with both her arms.

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

With our participation accepted, Penrin and I stepped into the glass sauna. Of course, Newmill forfeited immediately. He had already expressed his refusal to get hot and sweaty in such a contest. I wasn’t too concerned with him not entering. Even if he were to participate, he would’ve likely left quickly. His constitution just didn’t suit such a contest.

Penrin and I sat on one side of the cube and the three other teams each took a side of the cube for themselves.

Looking at the other contestants, I saw that most were Body-types. Which was to say that their appearances indicated they had invested the majority of their stat points into Body. If I were to name a few of the indicators that brought me to such a conclusion: sturdy or flexible armour, physical weaponry, strong muscles, scars, mean glares, tough postures, calloused hands, weathered skin, and a nametag with the words ‘I’m a Fighter that has a Body level of 27!’ written on it.

The coordinator of the contest closed the doors to the cube and began a rune-powered timer. She placed it in a position where we all could see and then turned up the heat.

The temperature rose fast to an uncomfortable degree. Everyone in the cube felt it.

A half-ox on the opposite side of the sauna said, “You guys don’t mind if I take these off, do you?” He pulled off his worn boots and revealed his hairy feet. I was expecting to see hooves, however I didn’t think too long about it. The stench from his bared feet hit me harder than the heat. It was an intense odour.

To the left of me I saw Penrin pinching her nose. Was this psychological warfare? Was he adding to the pressure of the room by exuding the smell from his feet?

His strategy seemed to backfire because the first to leave were his two teammates. They were the closest to the smell after all. “Where are you guys going?” he said to his teammates as they exited the sauna while making gagging noises.

The team on the left side of the box started making conversation to distract themselves from either the heat or the stench. A half-elephant girl flapped her ears and said, “Doesn’t it concern you that the host of this contest is the school’s chef?”

“Why would that be concerning?” asked her teammate.

“Think about it. Why would someone like that create a sauna battle as a contest?” The half-elephant’s trunk wobbled as she spoke. “All this time, she has been cooking meals for students. Now, she’s put us into a sauna because she wants to cook students into meals!”

The team to the right of me started laughing at the girl’s worry.

Her ears flapped harder. “I’m serious!”

Her teammates told her to stop reading so many short horror stories. The elephant girl did make me curious as to why the contest was being held in a transparent box though. Was it to allow the Sun to heat the inside further?

I was really starting to feel the heat, so I let my eyes wander outside of the glass cube. The timer had reached 10 minutes, and the spectators were thoroughly bored. The contest itself was pretty uninteresting. The sport contests like baseball were far more thrilling for the audience.

Audience interest hardly mattered to me. As long as we won, that was all that counted.

With each passing moment, my confidence in victory was dwindling. I was sweating like mad. My mouth was dry. My mind was clear and capable of withstanding such strain, but it seemed that so was everyone else. No one else had left other than the two at the start.

Of everyone, my body was struggling the most. I looked over to the right. I had tried not to look that way since the start of the contest, but I fell victim to my desires.

A beautiful 51-year-old woman was drenched in sweat. Her mature body roped my gaze like a sailor pulling his boat to shore. The way her glistening sweat pooled in her wrinkles was so alluring.

“Got something to say?” the woman snapped at me.

I returned to my senses and stammered out, “Sorry! I was just wondering if you would like to go out for a drink with me sometime.” Sweat dripped off of my nose and into my mouth and I recoiled at the saltiness.

The woman was taken aback by my sudden proposition for a date. She gave me a sympathetic expression and said, “Erm, no. I’m not into children.”

That was the response I was expecting. “Do you know anyone who is?” I asked jokingly.

“Have you checked the prison?” she joked back. The two of us shared a laugh and she said, “I’m flattered but you should look for someone your own age.”

If only she knew that she was someone my own age. This talk was doing a terrible job of distracting me from the heat. I was certain that the discomfort wouldn’t force me out, but I still didn’t want to feel it. I decided to occupy myself with something else.

Perhaps there was a method for me to apply further pressure to the other contestants like what the ox did? I considered letting out a fart but that was more likely to cause Penrin to forfeit. Plus, there wasn’t anything in the tank.

The timer had reached 16 minutes. Everyone in the sauna was now dead silent. From the faces of the others, I could see they were all focused on breathing and battling the desire to leave.

I was starting to think that I had the win in the bag. After all, I wasn’t as low-spirited as the others. I did feel an intense pain, though it wasn’t enough to make me leave. The contest was surely won.

[Status Effect: Boiling]

[Lose 1 HP per second.]

Oh, no. This was bad. The intense heat was boiling me alive. I looked around at the others. Within a few seconds, several of the others began to make surprised faces. I realised then that they were also boiling too. And it was substantiated by the fact that their health bars were shrinking as well.

This was a big issue. Everyone here had invested into Body, meaning that they had high max HP, whereas I did not. I was going to die within 2 minutes since my max HP was 110. I quickly thought about casting Cleanse, however I was sure I would just immediately start boiling again. My ability would not cause the heat around me to disappear, so it made no sense to use it. 15 seconds later another popup from the System appeared.

[Status Effect: Really Boiling]

[Lose 2 HP per second.]

Now I was going to die within a minute. I had to stick it out though. If Cleanse did work, then I had to wait until my HP was lower to make the most of it. 15 seconds after that, another popup appeared.

[Status Effect: Really Boiling Quite A Bit!]

[Lose 3 HP per second.]

Things were getting out of hand. I had already lost around half my HP so I decided to cast Cleanse.

[Status Effect: Boiling]

[Lose 1 HP per second.]

As I thought, it reverted me back to the Boiling state since I was still surrounded by this heat. I had enough MP to cast Cleanse 5 more times but that wasn’t going to cut it. Presumably, at every 15 second interval, the heat was also ramping up for the others.

If I supposed that they all had a Body level of 25, from the equation Blyth gave, that would mean they had 3350 HP. Since they could not Cleanse like me, the boiling would accumulate into higher and higher states. If at the next 15 second interval, people lost HP at a rate of 4 HP per second, and at subsequent intervals it went higher by 1, I could safely assume that it would take 310 seconds for them to die. Of course, they would leave before then.

I would die much sooner, even with my Cleanse ability.

I looked over to my left. Penrin, on the other hand, was different. From my recollection, her Body level was 22. That meant she had 2630 HP.

If things went on, she would die in 270 seconds. However, with my Cleanse ability, I could prolong the length at which she could stay inside the sauna. If I cast Cleanse on her, her boiling status effect would be reduced to a rate of 1 HP per second. Even if I only cast Cleanse on her once, when she reached half HP, that would still be enough. It would take her 190 seconds to reach that point.

Once would be enough because upon me casting it, she could last another 190 seconds. 380 seconds could easily beat the others.

However, the main problem was me. I would not last 190 seconds even if I were to cast Cleanse on myself 4 times in a row.

Casting Cleanse on Penrin now and immediately leaving wouldn’t be enough. There were surely others in this sauna with a higher Body level than her. Namely the guy with the nametag that revealed his Body level of 27.

The cumulative nature of the boiling status effect meant that I had to wait to get the full advantage of Cleanse, but that just wasn’t possible.

Not to mention, I was sure that max HP was not the only thing that I had to worry about. Titles, skills, and items were also factors in this contest.

“I can’t take it anymore!” someone shouted and then ran for the exit. I looked at their HP and saw that they had plenty to spare. Then it hit me. My Iron Will title was making me forget the human aspect of this test. Could Penrin withstand the pain of slowly being boiled alive?

I looked over at her. Sweat was dripping all over her body. Her fingers were interlocked and she was staring down the half-ox who was opposite to us. The ox was also staring at Penrin. I hadn’t noticed but a rivalry had formed between them. A slightly perceptible smile was on Penrin’s face. The half-ox was blowing steam out of his nose as he clenched his molars.

I knew Penrin had the determination to withstand the heat. For her sake, I thought harder about how to aid in her victory.

Was there a clue in the event’s rules? From what I saw, this was a last-man-standing type of game. Whoever could last the longest in the sauna would be declared the winner along with their team. There wasn’t any wiggle room there. I couldn’t leave and then re-enter.

If not the game, then could I hinder the other contestants? Fighting and purposefully interfering with other teams was prohibited. So that was off the table.

What then was there? What could I do?

I looked around at the cube that we sat in, and I was reminded of something from earlier. Why was the location of this event outdoors? I had the answer. It was because the sauna needed to be made out of glass and that would have been troublesome to create and heat indoors.

Then, why did the sauna have to be made out of glass? It seemed an improper material. Was it so that the audience could have a better viewing experience? I looked at the uninterested spectators who were focused on other things. It clearly wasn’t transparent for their viewing pleasure.

Was it so the Sun could shine in? No. The sauna was heated through other methods and kept at a consistent temperature. The Sun did not matter.

Like dominos toppling in a row, the answer fell onto me. The cube was outdoors so it could be made out of glass, and it was made out of glass so it could be transparent, and it was transparent so people could see their teammates.

In essence, this was not a team game. There would only be one victor, just like the egg-and-spoon race. However, helping your teammates was allowed.

There was no rule saying that those who left the sauna were disqualified. They simply could no longer win. Though, their teammates could still win. And so, those on the outside could help their teammates on the inside.

[Status Effect: Really Boiling]

[Lose 2 HP per second.]

Had it been 15 seconds already? I stretched in my seat and got ready to leave. Before I did, I got close to Penrin and whispered my plan to her.

She gave me a minimal nod in response. Besides that, she did not react at all. She was laser focused on staring down her opponent. I left the cube and joined Newmill. Two others followed my example and left the sauna too. They breathed sweet air of relief. I did not gasp like them, but the cool air of the outside did soothe me. I tried not to savour it too much, in solidarity with Penrin.

“Nice try,” said Newmill. He motioned to pat me on the back and then recoiled when he saw how sweaty I was. His hand then air-patted me.

I pulled up the description for Cleanse.

[Cleanse: Remove one status effect from a target within range. Costs 10 MP. (Soul)]

How far was within range, I wondered? My Soul was only at 4 and the glass of the sauna was quite thick. I stood behind Penrin and placed my hand against the cube. To maximise Penrin’s time, I needed to cast Cleanse at fifths of her max HP. When she lost 500 HP. That would happen 115 seconds after she started boiling.

But I couldn’t be sure that she had begun boiling at the same time as me, so I wasn’t sure when exactly to cast the skill. I had to approximate.

When the time came, I used Cleanse on her. It worked exactly as I hoped it would. Light emitted from my palm and then enveloped Penrin. A flash of particles and light came over her and then disappeared.

“What was that?” a spectator asked.

“Is he allowed to do that?”

“I think he used some sort of healing spell.”

The coordinator of the event clearly saw what I had done but did not comment. A small smile appeared on her small face. I wanted to go over there and wipe the smirk away. What a sick and twisted contest this was. Maybe the half-elephant girl was right about what she said. This coordinator really did want to cook people.

The others in the sauna became restless. “That’s permitted?” asked the 51-year-old beautiful woman who wasn’t interested in me.

The half-ox shouted out of the sauna to his teammates who left early. “Hey! You two, heal me!” His low and loud voice made the ground rumble a little.

One of his teammates protested, “How do you expect us to do that? I’m an assassin and this guy’s an archer.”

“Useless cowards!” The ox roared.

“I don’t wanna hear that from the guy who stink-bombed his own allies!”

The half-elephant was still in the arena but one of her teammates had left. Through the glass, her outside teammate channelled a stream of red energy to the elephant. The teammate said, “I can drain some of my HP to yours, but the conversion is inefficient. I can only give you 10% of my max HP.”

The half-elephant girl made a trumpet sound with her trunk in appreciation. “Thank you! I hope it will be enough.”

Her hope did not come to pass. At 200 seconds post-boiling, she forfeited. Her whole team had left the arena and lost. The coordinator placed red stamps on their forearms.

At 300 seconds in, Penrin and the ox were the only ones left. They both looked intensely at each other. However, with my Earthling eyes, I could see that Penrin would win. The half-ox’s HP bar was dwindling very low, whereas Penrin still had plenty to spare. I hadn’t even used all of my Cleanse’s yet.

With a grunt, the ox got up and admitted defeat.

The coordinator released all the heat from the cube and the two remaining inside breathed in cool and crisp air. Penrin smiled the widest smile I had ever seen her make. Her fists shot towards the sky in a victory pose. She then ran out of the cube and shouted, “I won! Group hug!”

She brought me into a sweaty embrace and I somewhat returned it. Newmill did not want to join in. He was the only one among us who was dry.

“I said, group hug!” Penrin demanded louder. She grasped Newmill and squeezed him into a three-person hug. Newmill made a sound of disgust.

I didn’t dare say it aloud, but I was extremely happy to see Penrin like this. More than the happiness of winning this contest, I was happier to see her beaming with such joy.

She was starting to look like a kid again.

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