A Weapon’s Serenade

Ara returned Melody as warm a smile as she could manage given the topic. “I need you to answer one question for me. Why here? Why, out of all the countless inhabited planets in the universe, did the demons and angels arrive here? Why is Jolene here and not involved with the countless spacefaring empires everywhere else? Why did humanity never meet any of the things that walk between the stars? Why did the Fae flee into an artificial pocket of space instead of just another planet? Why are we all here?”

Melody sighed. “Yea, getting a straight answer from eternal beings is too much to ask. There must be something that makes travelling between worlds here easier than elsewhere in this universe. Whatever was imprisoned here caused this, right?”

“Very likely.”

“Likely? You don’t even know for sure?”

“There is no way to prove it outside of moving it to a different planet and leaving it there for a few billion years. But yes, it is the only possible explanation. Imagine the barrier between worlds a bit like a sponge for this, when something like me rests on one part long enough, it gets squished. It’s quicker to poke a hole through a squished sponge than it is to poke one through a nice and fluffy sponge. Your stick gets stuck in all the cavities on the way.”

“So you imprisoned a sibling here. Someone or something like you, a fundamental fact of the universe so vile that it cannot be allowed to roam free. How wonderful…”

“It is not a fact like me, it is not prevalent enough to form a mind. I do not even know what it is that has coalesced into this form. I only know that it caused such immense destruction that it could not be allowed to influence anything in this universe and it could not be allowed into the underworld. Back when we put it here, this planet was mostly molten rock. I hope you understand that we never could have predicted that life would develop here or that this place would be important in any way.”

“No, I do understand. I don’t like it but I understand. I guess the Fae also didn’t just go to another world because nothing can leave this system. This is a quarantine zone.”

Ara nodded. “Yes. And until we find a better solution for this thing, it must remain that way.”

Melody sighed and then suddenly chuckled. “It’s not a dog, is it?”

Ara’s mood brightened again. “That would be too funny. I would like to continue this discussion when Kuria returns and we don’t have other things to do. I have a question for you as well. Is it too much when I vent my frustrations?”

“I mean, it was a crass but otherwise no? We were all just taken aback by the fact that you can hate like that more than anything else. Why not vent to us? Now that we know what to expect and that you are not going to let us die anyway, we can at least return something. A place to vent at the very least.”

“I have dealt with fourteen people each taking more than the equivalent of weeks to accept that they will not see their dogs in the underworld before accepting their deaths just this day. I empathize with their loss, with everything they are going through, but the choice of animal companion becomes grating after a while. And so, I remain polite. I don’t even know why I can feel frustration. It just makes what I am meant to do a lot harder for no reason.”

“Personally, I don’t care much for dogs. I am pretty indifferent to them. I had a friend in primary school who had a dog and that one was fine. To me, it was the same as Nadine and her fish but leaving hair everywhere and barking randomly. I can see how people like them but I also get how someone can hate that.”

Anne nodded. “Oh the noise, the damn noise. They are so clingy and distracting, you can’t even get the peace to think. I guess they’re the perfect pet for people afraid of their own thoughts. Wouldn’t go so far as to say that I hate them but I do not miss them in Hell. They are just very intrusive creatures.”

Ara nodded. “That they are. What I almost hate the most is the fact that humanity decided to selectively breed for the worst aspects inherent in the dogs from heaven. But let’s not dwell on bad things.”

“No, this is supposed to be an exciting day. And I have a lot of questions.”

“That is good.”

“So, uhm, did you ever participate in the demonic… friendship… rituals?” Anne blushed.

“No, I haven’t had sex with anyone yet. Why? Do you want to provide my first experience?”

Anne glanced over at Melody who nodded encouragingly. “Uhm… I… uh…” She closed her eyes to gather herself. “Yes. Yes, that would be incredible. I just didn’t expect you do ask me like that.”

“I would love to ask you if we want to go my place our yours, but my place is off limits for you. Should we ask the librarians for a room?”

Melody interrupted by shaking her head. “The rooms in our apartment are magically soundproof, it will be fine. Kuria and I can take a night at the library if you want some privacy too.”

“You are too kind. It will be Anne’s decision.”

Anne was bright red. “If- if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is.”

“So, uhm, how about next Friday? Like we meet at our place and then get some nice dinner and have a fun night together.”

Ara smiled. “I will be there.”

“Good. So, uhm, I almost feel like everything else I want to ask might be disappointing.”

Focalor, who had been biting her tongue and choking back laughter, finally spoke up. “Honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone could even follow up on asking a fundamental law of the universe out on a date. How is that in some fourteen billion years, you have never slept with anyone?”

Ara shrugged. “I don’t sleep.”

“I meant sex.”

“I don’t reproduce and I don’t talk to a lot of not-dead people.”

“Okay, the latter I understand. But you are equipped for the former, right?”

“Of course. Whatever you see me as is fully functional.”

“Nice. You appear to us as the same for everyone here, right? Tall, black-haired human-ish woman in a flowing black robe.”

Ara nodded. “When I create a form to take in this world, it looks the same for everyone. It is just a physical body nothing overly magical. When I appear to someone when they die, they see me as whatever they need to accept their passing.”

“Why appear female then or is that because we appear female?”

“When I am dealing with someone from a species that has a sex that does the overwhelming part of procreation, most members of that species seek comfort in someone of that sex. Just like my name it is something that I simply started to like. The female human shape is pleasant to me but it’s not the only form I find joy in. There is a species living on a far away planet whose females are giant masses of tentacles and eyes, I do like that too. The males find it comforting to be pat on their eyestalks despite that being difficult with such a size difference. They are a little smaller than the average human and the females are the size of this vessel.”

Anne raised an eyebrow. “How do they even procreate?”

“Like anglerfish.”

That took a moment to sink in. “Oh. Oh dear. I guess being absorbed by a sexy, for their standards, tentacle lady isn’t the worst fate.”

“Absolutely. The question I get asked most often by them is if they did good and if their mistress is happy with them. They are so cute, just wanting to do their best for their species and mistress and despite their doubts they often succeed. The vast majority of the time I could just tell them the truth and they would be overjoyed. I am a bit sad that anglerfish males don’t have souls to pass on to the underworld. They just exist as mindless and soulless sacks.”

“I never gave it much thought what other species might think upon their deaths… or what I would think and how you would appear to me.”

“Let’s hope we never find out. Even if I won’t let you pass, it will be a logistical, well, clusterfuck as the humans say.”

“The universe doesn’t have a mechanism for that I suppose.”

“Exactly.”

Nemesis’ image flickered into existence again. “Apologies for the delay, there were minor technical difficulties. I hope I am not interrupting anything?”

Focalor shook her head. “Nothing we can’t continue later. You said there were technical difficulties?"

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