Adventures of Superguy

August 3, 2010 - Litchfield County, CT

Mile Marker 64 US-202

21:16:04

But this was no ordinary barrel. It was twice his height, and easily thicker around the middle than he was tall. It was big and yellow, with two red bands around it. He realized it was meant to look like an old timey stave and hoop barrel, but it appeared to have a plastic exterior. It didn’t make any sound except for a slight electrical hum, and his infrared vision didn’t show much other than it was warm all over. Whatever was inside, it was well shielded.

“I don’t like this…” Robin said while Superboy wracked his brain.

What is so familiar about this thing? I swear I’ve seen something like it before, but I have no idea where.

The barrel was right in the middle of the two lane highway, and the truck was slowing to a crawl rather than get closer. Going around would bring the truck perilously close to the big barrel, but they were sitting ducks out here on the highway. There were no other cars close, thankfully, and only more farmland with yellowed cornstalks surrounded them.

“We have to keep moving! This is an ambush and we can’t-” Robin’s shouted orders were cut off by a blast from the barrel that blew its top off and sent it hurtling skyward, along with dozens of objects that launched out of it on fiery contrails. For a moment he panicked and thought they were missiles, terrified for Robin and the agents in the truck, but then the rocketing objects turned towards them and the truck and a disturbing chattering came all of them.

As his telescopic vision focused on the missiles, he realized what he was seeing and what had been nagging him about the barrel.

“A barrel of monkeys!?”

“Chee... hee... hee!" came the tinny laughter from the troop of flying robots. They were stylized red monkeys, complete with long prehensile tails, with the addition of twin rocket pods on their backs and bulbous glowing yellow eyes. Their faceplates had been molded with a grinning vocabulator from which their creepy laughter issued. They were shiny and new, and had an aerodynamic Art Deco aesthetic, which gave them a 50’s toy robot vibe.

That would actually be cool if not for the creepy laugh. And the fact that they’re coming right for us!

Indeed they were; the troop of robot monkeys rocketed towards the two heroes and the truck, instantly swarming the latter and crawling all over it. The driver gunned it and it blasted past the now empty barrel, weaving back and forth as she tried to shake the tenacious monkeys clinging to every surface of the truck, cackling in unison as they did so.

“I love robots.” Superboy said quietly to himself as he grinned at the sight. 

“Robin, Superboy! Our truck is under attack!” Aqualass alert came over the radio, and Superboy instantly tamped down his enthusiasm. This was no time to get distracted, although he was already considering what one of the cool little robot monkeys would look like posed in the trophy room.

“Kind of figured.” Robin replied sardonically, taking in what was no doubt a very similar view to what the rest of the team was seeing. The truck was racing ahead of them now while they approached on their bikes, the monkeys swarming all over it and they accelerated to get closer.

“Robot monkeys! Totally Ivo’s tweaked style.” Robin laughed as they closed, sharing some of his joy at the absurdity of the situation.

Hmmm. Ivo does robots, but something about these monkeys… Superboy thought but his speculation was interrupted by Robin’s next shouted command.

“Switch your ride to battle mode!”

As she said it, she did something at her controls and the front tire retracted back, until it was right under the engine and her. At the same time, the rear tire and tail end of her bike separated and fell behind. But it didn’t fall; instead the rear tire split in two right down the middle, and the wheel folded out into turbines that let it fly into the air above and behind her. Robin kept riding what was now a monobike, effortlessly balancing on one wheel while her now flying former rear end deployed some kind of energy cannon and started taking potshots at the monkeys.

That… is some toyetic bullshit. Superboy decided, feeling like he had somehow become trapped in a Saturday morning cartoon that was a poorly concealed 22 minute commercial for a toy line. But remembering her order, he looked down at the confusing instrument cluster.

Frustratingly, there was no button marked ‘Battle Mode’, which seemed a severe oversight. Nothing else seemed to jump out at him as he dithered.

“Uh, right, battle mode… how do I do that, again?” He asked helplessly.

Robin scoffed and he could hear her eye roll. 

“Just hit the touch screen with your emblem!” 

Oh, well, that seems obvious now… he thought as he sheepishly pressed it.

His bike underwent a similar transformation but he found the sudden switch to monobike to be much more difficult than Robin, even with the battle bike keeping itself mostly upright. The rear end turned armed drone now joined Robin’s as both fired red laser beams in short bursts. Each time they struck a monkey, it burst apart in a small but fiery explosion. He grinned delightedly as lasers zapped monkey after monkey, but the troop seemed little diminished and continued swarming the truck.

Good thing they’re not very tough. Battle mode is rad!

Superboy and Robin maneuvered their monobikes closer to the truck as the drones provided covering fire. As they neared, however, several monkeys launched themselves off the truck to deal with the drones. They were agile and quick in the air, and easily mounted the drones and began tearing at the turbines that kept them aloft. In seconds, both dropped from the sky and exploded against the asphalt, and the monkeys cackled at the sight.

Superboy’s disappointment was palpable as he turned his head to stare at Robin.

“Oh yeah, ‘battle mode’ really saved the day there.” He deadpanned.

“Hey, you can’t rely on the gadgets to do all the work! It's not about having a gadget that you use every adventure, but having the right gadget the one time you need it!” She shouted, curiously defensive of the battle bikes’ honor. 

I bet Wayne Tech makes them.

He heard the cracking of glass from the front of the truck, as well as the continuous and irritating cackling of the monkeys, so he decided he was done relying on gadgets. 

Wonder Woman said I should have confidence in my powers, so let’s show some confidence! He thought eagerly as he stood up in the stirrups of the monobike and launched himself off of it, through the air and on to the truck’s roof. His leap destabilized the monobike and it fell over, forcing Robin to dodge it with her own. The look she shot him was murderous, and he shrugged in apology as he glanced back from atop the truck.

Then all he saw was red.

Red robot monkeys as they swarmed all over him. They flew onto his back and grabbed and battered at him all over, shoving their stubby metal fingers into his eyes and face. Anger flared and he shook himself like a wet dog to throw them off, swinging wildly to smash the ones in front to bits. Each blow that connected instantly destroyed them, and since they were robots, he held nothing back. They crumpled like empty soda cans at his blows, falling to pieces and spilling electromechanical components everywhere. It was deeply satisfying to smash them but they seemed limitless, two replacing every one he destroyed.

He grabbed one by the tail and swung it like a flail, destroying several monkeys at a time. Superboy laughed as he fought, exulting in his strength against the flimsy robots. Remembering Wonder Woman’s lesson about keeping himself centered, he even found it easy to surf the top of the truck at the same time. Robin grapneled her way up to the top of the truck and drew her extendable bo staff, snapping it open and smashing a robot monkey with a thrust like a pool player’s break.

Then the monkey he had by the tail twisted its head completely around, and the yellow glow of its eyes brightened in an instant. Twin laser blasts flashed and he saw white as agony ripped burned his eyes. Screaming, he covered his face, stumbling back. Blinded and dazed, the truck hit a bump in the road and suddenly he was in free fall. He struck the road and bounced and rolled. Everything was a big light blur, contrasted with the big dark blur as he rolled to a stop. He rubbed at his eyes, and slowly his fuzzy vision began to clear. He almost sagged with relief, terrified for a moment that the little bastards had blinded him. 

But his vision wasn’t returning fast enough. He stood up, squinting as he shielded his eyes, the setting sun too bright for his injured corneas. Anger burned inside, but he forced himself to push it down and focus. Robin was on her own against the monkey swarm, with only the agents to help her!

Control yourself. He remembered, taking a deep breath. He focused on his most powerful sense that wasn’t injured, his hearing. Remembering back to that night in Happy Harbor, picking apart all the different chords in the symphony around him, he focused on the sound he knew indicated the direction where trouble lay.

“Chee... hee... hee!”

There! He realized, and he leapt to catch back up. 

As he leapt and landed, eating distance back up, his sight continued to slowly return and he didn’t have to shield his eyes anymore. He could feel his eyebrows had been charred by the eye lasers, and anger again filled him with a hot and electric rush. 

He neared the truck again, able to see enough now to recognize the truck as a big grey blob, and the monkeys as bright red blobs. Which meant the black and red blob was Robin, and she sounded hard pressed. She grunted and shouted kaia’s as she punched, kicked and stove robot monkeys apart. Then came the sound of the awful eye lasers again, followed by tearing metal. A sudden burst of gunfire and echoing impacts as they tore apart robot monkeys, then shouts of fear and surprise followed by grunts and dull impacts of limp bodies hitting asphalt. 

Panic struck him as he blearily saw the limp forms of what must be the agents tossed out of the truck, but he heard their groans and heartbeats as they rolled to a stop. There was no time to help them, so he continued on towards the truck. As he arrived, his meteoric landing made the truck’s massive suspension bounce, and it popped up several monkeys in the air for him to smash at once. He strode forward, battering the monkeys apart with brutal efficiency, all enjoyment of the fight gone after the blinding cheap shot. The monkeys had peeled open the roof of the truck like a sardine can, and a quartet were trying to fly the coffin-sized crate out of the hole. 

“Not today!” He shouted and swatted at them. 

Two were smashed like insects and the remaining dropped back down into the truck with their prize, unable to carry it without their fellows. He moved to drop in on them, but Robin shouted a warning as he did, even as she knocked monkeys back with both ends of her staff.

“They’re going for the tires!”

Superboy ran to the side of the roof, looking down, and there were several monkeys crawling their way towards the big run flat tires, their eye lasers already charging to fire. He looked around for some way to reach them or something to throw, but nothing was at hand. His ears were full of their mocking cackles. 

“I’ll get the driver!” Robin shouted, and just as he tried to climb down to snatch at the infuriating saboteurs, the first monkey reached the tires and fired its lasers. The tire superheated in an instant and blew out, the rest of them squealed as the truck slewed to one side. Superboy’s stomach flipped as he clung to the suddenly out of control truck. The truck began to ponderously tip over on one side even as it continued its sidelong slide and for a heart stopping moment, he thought it would slow down enough not to flip.

But it didn’t.

Everything became a chaotic whirl of light and dark and dull impacts. There was sound and fury, crunching metal, shattering glass, and shattering asphalt. He couldn’t even follow it all until it slowed and stopped and a massive weight crushed him into the ground. The hollow burst of an explosion came from within the truck above him, followed by more robotic cackles and the whine of rocket engines. Then, silence.

For a long moment, he didn’t move, not even to breathe. Everything hurt, his head was ringing, and there was a massive weight not just on his chest, but his whole body. He took an experimental breath, and found he had room for his chest to rise and fall. All he wanted to do was just lie there and breathe for a moment but the massive weight pressing down made that untenably difficult. 

The truck.

“SUPERBOY!” Robin screamed in fear, and he heard it, even pinned under the wreck.

He couldn’t lift it off of himself. It weighed too much, and he couldn’t get his feet under him or even his hands under it properly. He strained, with his back and knees, and it shifted a little. This, he realized, was the ticket. Superboy shimmied until he could get his hands under the truck, elbows hard  pressed into the asphalt, and he lifted one edge as far as he could. After a great strain and a creaking of metal, he tipped the truck onto another side and he could see the fading daylight again.

Tipping the truck over was an enormous effort, and now he felt strained on top of battered. He just lay there, gulping in big breaths as he catalogued his hurts. 

It appeared to be everything. 

On the plus side, his vision had cleared up. But the thought of the monkey blinding him just enraged him again. Suddenly, he saw Robin’s relieved visage come into his view as she stared down at him in shock.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly.

Feeling the need to reassure her, he gave her a weak thumbs up and mumbled “Invulnerable…” as he struggled to his feet. She sagged and put a hand on his shoulder, and he saw her buoyed by his assurance. For a moment, she had looked stricken with worry.

Aww, she cares…

He straightened up, and saw the driver come limping out of the cornfield and the tossed guards helping one another to their feet and down the highway. Motorists were stopping to try and help, as well as gawk at the devastation. Surveying the scene, Superboy found there was much to gawk at. The truck had tumbled the length of a football field, gouging the asphalt and sending chunks of debris everywhere. Bits of robot monkeys left a trail of breadcrumbs for a mile or two. None of the remaining monkeys had stuck around. Robin stood beside him and surveyed the situation.

“Aqualad to Robin. We lost our cargo. Did you-” 

“It’s gone.” Robin answered the comm with a sigh.

Superboy looked at the truck, saw the back door had been blown open from the inside, and the conspicuous lack of cargo. His shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked at Robin.

“Now what?”

“I don’t suppose the Guild put trackers in the cargo boxes?” She suggested on the team’s comm line.

“It was judged too great a risk of letting the gynoid’s creator, or someone else, find the trucks.” Aqualass answered, and Superboy threw up his hands and turned away.

After a moment, Ms. Martian spoke up over the comm.

“This Professor Ivo, if he is alive, seems to be two steps ahead of us.” She stated, and Robin and Superboy shared a nod. Clearly, the mad scientist had their number. “M-maybe we should contact the Guild?”

This time the two heroes shared a truculent look. 

“We can’t call for the grown ups now.” Superboy objected, looking at the time on his Eye Phone. Despite his heavy duty case, the sturdy screen was cracked. “We were only in charge of the stuff for an hour!”

I can’t disappoint Superwoman twice in one day. Or Wonder Woman.

Robin had a thoughtful look, and stroked her chin as she meandered over to one of the more intact robot monkeys, and knelt down to fiddle with it.

“We were given this mission, and it is up to us to finish it. The mission is not yet over. It can still succeed if we recover the parts before they’re reassembled.” Aqualad stated, and Superboy felt his hot anger and frustration drain, replaced with a cool determination. They had been beaten, but they weren’t licked yet.

“Well, that’s a great plan, except for the part about us not knowing WHERE TO LOOK!” Kid shouted over the comm, and Superboy deflated.

“Maybe we do.” Robin replied, as she fished some kind of tech dongle out of her utility belt. She had the back of the monkey open, revealing a bewildering array of ports and plugs, none of which Superboy recognized. 

I guess mad scientists don’t use USB. That’s true evil.

Robin plugged one end of her dongle into the robot and the other into the cable of her wrist computer. Her holographic interface came up and she quickly scanned through lines of code, tapping at keys, until she pulled up a map display and broke out into a satisfied grin.

“We’d have heard by now if the decoy trucks had been attacked. So how did these monkeys know exactly which trucks to target?” She explained in her self-satisfied, ‘great detective’ voice. On the map display, two icons popped into existence and began blinking.

“HA! The PARTS have their own GPS! The monkeys can track the signal, which means I can track them with the one I captured.” She declared proudly, shaking the limp and scuffed robot as she did so. “It looks like both sets of parts are converging on… Gotham City.”

In an instant, her smugness vanished, replaced by worry.

That’s a helluva coincidence. That sucks for her city, but bad stuff happens there all the time… Superboy considered, feeling a bit bad to be minimizing his friend’s distress at the threat to her home.

Then he remembered the massive crater left behind by the gynoid’s defeat. It had taken up most of a cornfield. That was a couple of city blocks…

“That far south? Ms. Martian and I won’t get there anytime soon.” Aqualass informed them, and Superboy grit his teeth. They had to move, now, and catch up to Ivo who was already miles ahead of them. 

Robin glanced at him before replying to Aqualass.

“Superboy will go on ahead.” She declared, and he turned to her with surprise. 

“The parts are moving in a straight line, ‘as the monkey flies.’ I can’t keep up on the battle bike, but he can jump his way after them just as directly. I’ll follow and catch up as soon as possible.” She explained, staring into his eyes. He felt the weight of the responsibility she gave him; not just the mission, but protecting Gotham from the devastation another Guild battle with the reassembled gynoid would do to her city.

He schooled his expression, trying to project the seriousness with which he took the task, and nodded.

“I’m sending Kid on ahead to meet you. Aqualass out.”

That left Superboy and Robin, staring at each other. The weight of duty brought a new tension to Superboy, so he tried to lighten the mood. He gestured toward the dongle that let her hack the monkey.

“‘Its not about having a gadget that you use every adventure, but having the right gadget the one time you need it!” He repeated back to her, and she cracked up, throwing the monkey onto her back and patting the dongle.

“I was right, wasn’t I?”

He shrugged good naturedly.

“What, do you want a cookie?”

Robin smiled softly and took a step closer to him. 

“Maybe a kiss?” she asked demurely, and his eyebrows went on a vacation to visit their cousins at his hairline.

“Uh…”

“AFTER we finish the mission.” She said as she turned on her heel and whistled up the remaining monobike, strapping her robot passenger to her back like it was a book bag, and gave him a wink and a nod. Then she started up the monobike and roared off down the highway. He watched her ride away probably longer than he should have.

Right, chasing down the supervillain. Let’s get on that.

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