After Crossdressing and Provoking Long AoTian

Yu Qingtang instinctively stood up, only for Eldest Senior Sister to press him right back down.

“You can’t run.” Eldest Senior Sister shook her head gravely. “Besides, even if Junior Brother can run, the sect can’t. If we want to solve the problem completely, we can only face it.”

Yu Qingtang looked horrified. “You’re not actually thinking of sending me out there, are you?”

“How could I!” Eldest Senior Sister grabbed his hand, her gaze sincere. “Senior Sister knows exactly what kind of person that boy is. How could I bear to push you into a firepit?”

The corner of Yu Qingtang’s mouth twitched as he tried to remind her, “Even if his character were good, you still couldn’t consider it! I’m your Little Junior Brother. Male!”

Eldest Senior Sister turned a deaf ear and continued on her own. “It’s just that the one who tied the bell must untie it. Even if we’re going to reject him, it has to be ‘Little Junior Sister’ who rejects him.”

Expressionless, Yu Qingtang spread his hands. “And where are we supposed to find a Little Junior Sister?”

“Don’t panic. I have a magical artifact that can resolve this crisis.” Eldest Senior Sister patted his shoulder, then stretched her neck to look outside the door. “Counting the time, Little Seventeen should be back soon.”

Only then did Yu Qingtang react. “Speaking of that, I really haven’t seen Seventeenth Senior Brother today. Where did he go?”

Speak of Seventeen, and Seventeen arrived.

The hall doors banged open. A ponytailed youth charged in like a gust of wind. “I’m here! I bought it! I nearly got crushed to death. Those female cultivators really use every trick in the book!”

He carried a small bundle in his hand and casually passed it to Eldest Senior Sister.

A certain ominous premonition suddenly rose in Yu Qingtang’s heart. Silently, he took two steps back. “What is that?”

The corners of Eldest Senior Sister’s mouth lifted. “A magical artifact.”

She opened the bundle and, with a swish, unfolded a pale green dress with gauzy trailing layers. Her eyes glittered as she introduced it. “The newest fashionable female immortal set from Beauty Pavilion. Even Eldest Senior Sister couldn’t bear to buy one for herself, but today, for you, I really spent blood money!”

“Come, Tang. Disrobe!”

As she spoke, she was already about to reach for him. Yu Qingtang panicked and shouted, “Wait!”

Eldest Senior Sister paused. Yu Qingtang clutched his collar and argued with reason, “Even if you make me put this on, I can’t suddenly turn into a Little Junior Sister!”

After saying that, he paused.

Seven years ago, he seemed to have said the exact same thing.

And if he remembered correctly, it had not worked then either.

Sure enough, Eldest Senior Sister revealed a subtle smile. “Not necessarily.”

With three parts kindness and seven parts eeriness, she stroked his face. “Look at this handsome little face, cool and refined, untouched by mortal dust. Then pair it with this dress!”

She blinked rapidly twice. “With just a touch of powder and rouge, I guarantee you’ll become a peerless beauty who can make fish sink, geese fall, the moon hide, and flowers feel ashamed!”

“Forget Long Aotian. Even your Seventeenth Senior Brother would lose his senses looking at you.”

“Huh?” Seventeenth Senior Brother’s eyes widened as he looked at him. He reached up and scratched his head. “I...”

Eldest Senior Sister did not wait for his answer. She waved a hand and cleared the room. “Move, move. Men out first. Sisters, grab the tools!”

Seeing his three Senior Sisters pull out bottles and jars, Yu Qingtang turned around and followed the Senior Brothers outside. Unsurprisingly, Eldest Senior Sister caught him by the scruff of the neck—the grip of fate itself.

“I’m male too!” Yu Qingtang argued with reason.

“Not starting now.” Eldest Senior Sister rejected him mercilessly. She patted Yu Qingtang’s head, then coaxed him, “A short pain is better than a long pain. Put on the women’s clothes now and settle this matter. In the future, at most, you’ll just avoid him a little.”

“He’s still Guiyi Sect’s chosen son of heaven, after all. For the sake of face, I imagine he won’t take the initiative to come looking for you again.”

At first listen, it seemed to make some sense, but Yu Qingtang still covered his collar and defended the last shred of his dignity to the death. “If that thing gets exposed, he’ll definitely be even angrier!”

Sixteenth Senior Sister gave him a faint look. “Then you go.”

Yu Qingtang froze. “Huh?”

“Go tell him that back then, you tricked him while dressed as a woman.” Sixteenth Senior Sister looked at him. “If he refuses to drop it, say Eldest Senior Sister forced you.”

Eldest Senior Sister froze too. “Wah.”

Expressionless, Sixteenth Senior Sister continued, “If he still refuses to drop it, then tell him Master didn’t stop it back then either.”

From outside the door came Daoist Idle Crane’s furious cry of “Rebellious disciple!”

Sixteenth Senior Sister ignored him. She lifted her chin, utterly impartial and iron-faced. “But we also played along with all of you back then and didn’t stop it.”

“At worst, we all go on the road together.”

She turned her head and, from who knew where, took out a wine jar. With a gentle expression, she stroked it. “This jar is so big. It should be enough to hold all of us together, right?”

Yu Qingtang: “...Senior Sister, please stop talking. I’m scared.”

Sixteenth Senior Sister crouched down and looked at him gently, holding the jar in one hand and the dress in the other. “Choose.”

Daoist Idle Crane’s voice squeezed in through the crack in the door. “Tang, before he came here, he had just gone to Seven Swords Sect. I heard that now, only three swords are left over there.”

He wiped nonexistent tears and put on a pitiful act. “We only have your Master here. We don’t even have anyone to block the blade!”

“Your Master is nothing but old bones. I can’t withstand a young hero of that caliber!”

Yu Qingtang: “...”

This old man was pretty good at acting.

“Shut up.” Sixteenth Senior Sister remained iron-faced and impartial. “Ignore him. You choose. Whatever you choose, Senior Sister will help you.”

Yu Qingtang looked at the jar, then at the dress.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I am a man, a true man! I would never do something so disgraceful to the sect’s reputation merely to cling to life!”

Although Biehe Sect did not have much of a reputation to disgrace in the first place.

Eldest Senior Sister: “Wah.”

Daoist Idle Crane: “Suffering for the sake of face, disciple, you—mmph mmph mmph!”

It sounded as if someone had covered his mouth.

Sixteenth Senior Sister nodded, tossed the dress back to Second Senior Sister, and stood with the jar in hand. “Then we’ll go with him and...”

“Cough!” Yu Qingtang cleared his throat heavily and clasped his hands behind his back. “However!”

“This...” He stretched out a finger and poked the jar. “Cramming so many of us into one jar is really too much. We should still, first, give it a try.”

He sidled over in tiny steps, picked up the dress, held it against himself, and secretly lifted his eyes to look at them. “Can I fit into this?”

Eldest Senior Sister beamed and rolled to her feet. “You can, you can! Absolutely! Let Senior Sister help you!”

Eldest Senior Sister did the makeup. Sixteenth Senior Sister styled his hair. Second Senior Sister taught him etiquette. A short while later, the door was pushed open, and Yu Qingtang cautiously stepped out while holding the doorframe.

He did not usually like tying up his hair, and Sixteenth Senior Sister had done her best to give him a simple hairstyle. Paired with his cool, refined face, it made him seem all the more untouched by the mortal world.

The Senior Brothers held their breath.

Uncomfortable, Yu Qingtang tugged at the collar over his chest and cautiously lifted his eyes. “Do I look like one?”

Seventeenth Senior Brother’s expression was dazed, and a suspicious blush appeared on his face. “Ah—huh?”

Third Senior Brother smacked the hand he was using to cover his chest. “Don’t move.”

Yu Qingtang blinked, then obediently froze.

Third Senior Brother continued, “Put your hand down.”

“Breathe in. Chest out. Chin up. Restrain your expression...”

He narrowed his eyes and circled Yu Qingtang once. “Hold your qin. That way you won’t have nowhere to put your hands.”

“Oh. Okay.” Like a puppet on strings, Yu Qingtang obediently did as he was told and held the Dragon-Crane Zither in his arms.

He did not know if it was his imagination, but the qin seemed especially bright today.

“Mm...” Third Senior Brother nodded in satisfaction. “That’s right.”

He lightly unfolded the folding fan in his hand, his peach-blossom eyes smiling with flamboyant charm. “White plum on a high mountain. Blue lotus rising from water. Wonderful.”

Yu Qingtang: “...Senior Brother, your smile looks really perverted.”

Still smiling, Third Senior Brother stretched out his fan and prodded his mouth with it. “No speaking.”

Yu Qingtang obediently shut his mouth. A moment later, he realized something. “But if I don’t speak, how am I supposed to reject him?”

“Biehe Sect is, in any case, mainly a sect of music cultivators. Methods to alter the voice are naturally among the basics of the basics.” Daoist Idle Crane waved a hand. “Your Master will teach you. I guarantee you can learn it in two breaths!”

Yu Qingtang obediently followed the lesson, then tried speaking. “Senior Brother?”

His voice sounded seventy to eighty percent like usual, but the pitch was slightly higher, closer to a woman’s voice.

Seventeenth Senior Brother blushed. “Y-yes?”

Third Senior Brother smiled and waved his fan. “Silver beads falling onto a platter. Broken gold striking jade. Good.”

Yu Qingtang: “...Third Senior Brother, could you stay farther away from me? You’re scaring me.”

Eldest Senior Sister circled him with her face cupped in her hands. “Not bad. Truly not bad.”

“Cough.” Second Senior Sister reminded him, “Do you still remember your persona?”

Yu Qingtang answered mechanically, “Silent and reserved. Poor at socializing. Cold by nature. Cultivating the Dao of Emotionlessness.”

Second Senior Sister asked next, “How will you reject him?”

“The Great Dao comes first. Love must be severed and desire ended.” Yu Qingtang’s fingers tightened around the qin. “I cannot betray the immortal sects. Thus, I can only betray you.”

Eldest Senior Sister took a deep breath. “That’s it!”

“Wait!” Third Senior Brother suddenly extended his folding fan and pointed at Yu Qingtang’s chest. “Shouldn’t he have at least a little something there?”

Yu Qingtang looked down at his own chest and, expressionless, tightened his grip on the qin strings.

“Does the kitchen still have fresh mushroom buns?” Seventeenth Senior Brother suggested. “Should I go get two?”

“What kind of nonsense is using buns!” Eldest Senior Sister rolled her eyes so hard they nearly reached the heavens. “When the time comes, what’s he supposed to say—Fairy, you smell so fragrant, as fragrant as buns?”

Yu Qingtang covered his eyes. “We’re all cultivating immortality. Can we be a little more mystical about this? At least use some kind of transformation spell.”

“It is possible.” Daoist Idle Crane stroked his chin. “But there are risks. If we run into a cultivator with a special eye technique, or a treasure like the All-Things Mirror, I’m afraid it won’t be able to hide it.”

Yu Qingtang thought briefly. “Eye technique, treasure... he shouldn’t have those right now.”

“Mm?” Daoist Idle Crane looked at him in confusion.

Yu Qingtang immediately corrected himself. “I mean, that... we take the gamble.”

He closed his eyes and thrust out his chest. “Do it!”

Once he closed his eyes, everyone else’s voices became even clearer.

Eldest Senior Sister said, “Too big won’t work. My Junior Brother is taking the cool, refined route right now. Just a little is enough.”

Third Senior Brother said, “Heh. Pedantic. Big is good, and good means big... hiss! No hitting!”

Seventeenth Senior Brother said, “B-both are good.”

Second Senior Sister said, “Since we’re transforming him anyway, fix his shoulders too. For a girl, his shoulders are still a bit broad.”

Unable to bear it, Yu Qingtang opened his eyes. “Are you done?”

“Done, done.” Eldest Senior Sister beamed and admired him from head to toe. She could not help clicking her tongue in amazement. “Perfect.”

“In my next life, I want to look like this.”

Yu Qingtang: “...”

Sixteenth Senior Sister asked him with concern, “How do you feel?”

“Terrible.” Expressionless, Yu Qingtang said, “It feels like a hundred spirit-devouring worms are crawling over me.”

“That shouldn’t be!” Daoist Idle Crane turned pale with shock. “Normally, there wouldn’t be that kind of reaction!”

“I mean emotionally terrible!” Yu Qingtang turned his head in fury and reached up to cover his heart.

“Ah!”

Everyone cried out in alarm.

Yu Qingtang froze, then looked down. The hand he had pressed to his heart had passed straight through the slightly protruding chest.

Just like those shoddily made online games from his previous life.

His character model was clipping.

Yu Qingtang: “...”

Silently, he withdrew the hand that had clipped through his chest, raised his head, and asked, “What do we do about this?”

“Well...” Daoist Idle Crane guiltily averted his eyes. “Don’t let him touch it, and, well, you won’t be exposed.”

“And don’t touch it yourself either.”

Yu Qingtang closed his eyes. “...I don’t want to live anymore. Why don’t we all squeeze into a little box together?”

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