After Crossdressing and Provoking Long AoTian

Yu Qingtang held the booklet of Nanzhou specialties Ye Chenyan had given him, flipping through it as he compared the illustrations to the little fruits growing on the tree. He deliberately picked a tiny black fruit that was horrendously sour but invigorating and good for clearing internal heat, then slipped it into his pocket.

He chuckled maliciously, rubbed the fruit against his clothes, and planned to shove it straight into Ye Chenyan’s mouth later.

That brat could have a taste of love’s sour bite too!

But the moment he turned around, he found himself staring into an expressionless, snake-scaled face. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Waaah!”

Candle Nine Yin raised a hand to steady him. His fingers had barely touched Yu Qingtang’s shoulder when Yu Qingtang ducked, dropped into a cross-legged position, and summoned a blooming golden lotus. The Lotus Realm wrapped around him without leaving a single opening.

Candle Nine Yin was silent.

He frowned in puzzlement. “Why are you so timid?”

Yu Qingtang muttered, “I’m being cautious.”

“That’s true.” Candle Nine Yin’s brow relaxed, and he nodded slightly. “You’re too weak. Caution is the only way you’ll live longer.”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

“Exactly.”

He cautiously poked his head out and searched behind Candle Nine Yin for Ye Chenyan, but found no sign of him.

Noticing his gaze, Candle Nine Yin said, “He went to undergo a trial. He’ll be back shortly. He told you to remember to cultivate and watch out for the karmic fire.”

Yu Qingtang hunched his shoulders and instinctively rubbed his backside. “Got it.”

Candle Nine Yin dutifully continued passing along the message. “He also told me to remind you to answer Fifth Senior Brother. Something came up last night, and you went to sleep early. Fifth Senior Brother may still be waiting.”

“Ah!” Yu Qingtang smacked his forehead. “I knew I’d forgotten something!”

He hurriedly took out his transmission stone and was just about to activate it when he noticed Candle Nine Yin was still standing in front of him.

He carefully asked, “Um, Senior, was there something else?”

Was he planning to stand there the entire time?

Candle Nine Yin tilted his head, thought seriously for a moment, then nodded in confirmation. “No. I passed along everything.”

“Oh.”

Yu Qingtang was planning to wail at Fifth Senior Brother for a bit and felt embarrassed doing that in front of someone else, so he politely began, “Then are you still...”

“His message is finished.” Candle Nine Yin lowered his eyes to look at him. “I have something I want to ask.”

Yu Qingtang tightened his grip on the transmission stone and did not dare dismiss the Lotus Realm. He braced himself. “What?”

Candle Nine Yin asked calmly, “What were you two busy doing last night?”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

The surroundings went utterly still.

They stared at each other for a while before Candle Nine Yin finally looked away.

“Oh. Since you won’t say, I suppose it was the usual.”

Yu Qingtang’s ears reddened. He hurriedly tried to deny it, but the more anxious he became, the worse he stammered.

“W-what usual things? Don’t make things up!”

“You’re both young and full of vigor. It could only have been bedroom business.”

With a perfectly composed face, Candle Nine Yin spoke words that ordinary cultivators would never have dared utter aloud. He nodded thoughtfully.

“No wonder he wouldn’t let me move another bed in. So that was what he was planning.”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

Ye Chenyan, you brat!

He slowly clenched his fists, shut his eyes, and clarified with a flaming face, “It wasn’t what you’re thinking! We only drank a little wine!”

“Oh.” Candle Nine Yin nodded, utterly unruffled. “People do sometimes drink wine to set the mood.”

Yu Qingtang nearly dropped to his knees before him.

“Senior, how about we stop talking about this? Ye Chenyan... What kind of trial did he go to take?”

In truth, Yu Qingtang had known from the beginning what sort of trial Ye Chenyan would face in Nanzhou. He also knew why Tianji Zi had been in such a hurry to throw him into Nanzhou.

But Candle Nine Yin did not know that he knew, so for now, Yu Qingtang had to pretend he did not.

“Ask him yourself when he returns.” Candle Nine Yin shook his head slightly. “He deliberately kept it from you because he wanted you to ask.”

“Just stay here without worry. Tell us if there’s anything you want. Ye Chenyan is my... I can’t tell you that part yet. In any case, he asked me to take care of you, so naturally, we won’t treat you poorly.”

He raised a hand and unfurled a list.

“Sweets and snacks. Nanzhou specialties—bring fewer of the frightening-looking ones. Light storybooks—nothing about men with three wives, four concubines, and wandering hearts. Find stories about one couple together for a lifetime...”

After rattling off a long list, he looked at the dumbfounded Yu Qingtang.

“Anything else?”

Yu Qingtang shook his head blankly.

Candle Nine Yin nodded. “It’s not much different from taking care of Pretty Butterfly. You don’t want rouge, face powder, or dresses?”

Yu Qingtang thrust out his chest and raised his head. “I’m a man, Senior!”

“I’m not blind.” Candle Nine Yin glanced at him. “But you wore dresses before.”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

“That’s difficult to explain, but it wasn’t a personal hobby. There was a reason.”

“Oh.” Candle Nine Yin put away the list. “You don’t have to call me Senior. He calls me Uncle Snake. You can call me the same thing.”

Yu Qingtang lowered his eyes and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

“I think I’ll stick with Senior.”

Otherwise, it would feel far too much like meeting the family. Just thinking about it made him nervous.

“As you wish.” Candle Nine Yin was easygoing about it. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”

“Wait!”

Yu Qingtang instinctively called out to him. Under Candle Nine Yin’s calm yet inexplicably oppressive gaze, he forced himself to speak.

“Um, Senior, I’m a man. Don’t you have anything to say about that?”

“He and I...”

He raised two fingers and entwined them, hoping Candle Nine Yin would understand what he meant.

“So?” Candle Nine Yin raised his eyes. “I’m not even human.”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

Right. I forgot that the demon race doesn’t care about these things.

He explained quietly, “Actually, from certain perspectives, the demon race is merely a rather unusual branch of humanity. Broadly speaking, you still count as human.”

At least biologically, they were somewhat closer to humans than the demonfolk were.

Of course, it was difficult to view a cultivation world through the lens of biology. There was not exactly any reproductive isolation between demonfolk and humans either.

“We count?” Candle Nine Yin frowned in confusion, then shook his head slightly. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter. Human or not, it’s all the same.”

“If he has chosen you, then you are the one.”

For no apparent reason, Yu Qingtang found himself unable to speak.

Candle Nine Yin turned to leave, only to suddenly turn back again.

“I nearly forgot. Green Snake also asked me to pass along a message.”

“She said you don’t look very clever and would probably still be wearing a stupid expression after a wolf had already carried you off in its jaws. Since both of your names contain ‘Qing,’ she decided to teach you a technique.”

Yu Qingtang froze. He had not expected to encounter an opportunity here as well.

He hurriedly cupped his fists in gratitude. “Thank you, Senior!”

Under his expectant gaze, Candle Nine Yin calmly said, “She said that if Ye Chenyan ever bullies you, don’t let him into your bed.”

Yu Qingtang fell silent.

Candle Nine Yin nodded once. “That truly was the last message. I’m leaving.”

Yu Qingtang hugged the pillar beside him and thumped his forehead against it.

The fact that he had expected this bunch of demonic cultivators to teach him any respectable cultivation method proved that his brain was already damaged!

Yu Qingtang took a deep breath. Only after confirming that Candle Nine Yin had truly left did he lift the transmission stone and send a message to Fifth Senior Brother.

“Fifth Senior Brother—”

“Little Junior Brother—”

Fifth Senior Brother seemed to have been waiting on the other end the entire time. He responded anxiously, “You finally sent a message!”

Yu Qingtang guiltily rubbed his nose. “Sorry. I drank too much yesterday...”

“What?” Fifth Senior Brother’s voice shot upward. “Y-you drank wine? Who took you drinking?”

Yu Qingtang felt guilty for a moment before realizing that he had nothing to feel guilty about. He stiffened his neck and retorted, “I’m nineteen! What’s wrong with drinking a little wine?”

Fifth Senior Brother fell silent for a moment and scratched his head.

“I always feel like you’re still little. In my mind, you’re still the same size you were when I left the sect.”

He sounded somewhat wistful, but still earnestly advised him, “That’s true. You’re old enough to drink now. But you still can’t drink too much. You’re already not very bright to begin with, and when you get drunk, you’re even...”

Yu Qingtang cleared his throat.

Fifth Senior Brother, there was no need to say it quite so bluntly.

Interrupted, Fifth Senior Brother sighed and asked, “Are you all right now? I should reach the sect in a few days. I’ll tell them first about the good result you earned at the Golden Core Competition, and about the Esoteric Sect...”

“Don’t tell them about that yet.” Yu Qingtang scratched his head. “No one could have expected me to become involved with the Esoteric Sect. It’s such a massive behemoth that there’s nothing we can do against it. Telling everyone would only make them worry when they couldn’t do anything to help.”

“You might frighten Master so badly that all his beard falls out.”

Fifth Senior Brother gave a bitter laugh. “Against the Esoteric Sect, we truly can’t help you, but...”

“Most people under heaven can’t do anything against the Esoteric Sect,” Yu Qingtang said with remarkable acceptance. “Even the greatest sects are no different from us right now.”

“It’s not that we’re too weak. The enemy is simply too powerful!”

Fifth Senior Brother was successfully led around by his logic. He answered hesitantly, “That... does seem to make sense.”

“Right?” Yu Qingtang propped up his chin and sighed. “It’s just a shame. If I’d known, I would have left the spirit stones collected by the Treasure-Gathering Basin with you. Now I can’t bring everyone pork hocks.”

Fifth Senior Brother found that amusing. “Everyone isn’t that greedy...”

Yu Qingtang urged him to think again. “Are you sure?”

Fifth Senior Brother fell silent.

Yu Qingtang burst out laughing. “You can tell them this good news, though. Once I return to Biehe Sect, I’ll treat everyone to pork hocks!”

“Let them look forward to it. The pork hocks will definitely taste even better by then.”

Fifth Senior Brother laughed helplessly. “All right. I understand.”

“Then take care of yourself in everything. Don’t try to be brave. Remember Biehe Sect’s ultimate technique: if you can’t win, beg for mercy and act cute—do whatever it takes. Staying alive is what matters!”

“Mhm.” Yu Qingtang nodded seriously. “Don’t worry!”

Once the transmission stone went quiet, Yu Qingtang raised his head and imagined the magnificent sight of himself returning in glory with more than twenty pork hocks in his hands. He could not help grinning foolishly.

He drew a deep breath and rubbed his backside, dragging himself out of that beautiful fantasy and back to reality.

For the sake of that wonderful future, he had to cultivate properly and accumulate some good fortune. Only then could he continue using the Treasure-Gathering Basin to pick up trash.

...

Ye Chenyan did not return to the Immortal-Bewildering Forest until the sky had grown dark.

Water droplets clung to his entire body. He looked somewhat bedraggled, but he did not appear to have suffered any injuries.

He raised a hand and wiped the water from his face. After thinking for a moment, he smeared it back on again.

Following Yu Qingtang’s location, he went looking for him—and found him cultivating seriously beside the river.

Ye Chenyan’s eyes widened in surprise.

He did not rashly interrupt. Instead, he sat cross-legged beside him, propped his arms on his knees, and watched.

Not long afterward, Yu Qingtang’s eyes abruptly opened.

“Done training!”

With that excited shout, he sprang to his feet and bounded happily toward the forest.

“Hey—”

Ye Chenyan hurriedly grabbed him.

“Hm?” Yu Qingtang looked up in surprise. “You’re back?”

“Mhm.” Ye Chenyan glanced toward the forest despite himself. “What are you going to do?”

“Play,” Yu Qingtang answered righteously.

“Huh?” Ye Chenyan frowned in confusion.

“You’ve clearly never heard of a special cultivation method.” Yu Qingtang introduced it with great solemnity. “It’s called the Pomodoro Cultivation Method.”

Ye Chenyan slowly shook his head.

“Oh, it’s normal that you haven’t heard of it. Someone like you, who can cultivate from morning until night, has no need for it.” Yu Qingtang shook his head wistfully. “Simply put, it means balancing work and rest and setting rules for yourself—run through the Scripture of Awaiting Good Fortune five times, then reward yourself by playing for a while. That gives you motivation to cultivate!”

“Oh—” Understanding dawned on Ye Chenyan. “So it’s like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey and giving it one after every five laps.”

“Exactly. That’s precisely how it works.”

Yu Qingtang nodded instinctively, then suddenly realized what Ye Chenyan had said.

“Hm? Who are you calling a donkey?”

Ye Chenyan could not hold back his laughter.

“You!”

Yu Qingtang pointed at his nose. Only then did he notice the water droplets covering Ye Chenyan’s face. Remembering what Candle Nine Yin had said, he tentatively asked, “You... suddenly left earlier. What did you go do?”

Sure enough, Ye Chenyan’s eyes slowly lit up.

“You want to know?”

Yu Qingtang looked away. “I-I don’t want to know that badly! Forget it if you don’t want to tell me...”

“Oh.” Ye Chenyan lowered his head.

Yu Qingtang stole a glance at him, only to meet Ye Chenyan’s gaze as he looked back.

Ye Chenyan stared at him eagerly. “You’re really not going to ask?”

Yu Qingtang withdrew his gaze and smugly raised his chin.

“No.”

“I refuse to ask.”

What a joke. Do I look that impatient?

You think a brat like you can manipulate me?

Ye Chenyan sighed and took out a bundle emitting a sweet fragrance. He waved it beneath Yu Qingtang’s nose and gently bumped him with it.

“Come on. Ask me.”

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