Aurora Over a Dead World

’I wonder what she was doing inside a restricted area...’ I look at Ashlyn, who walks beside me in silence. I should have paid more attention to the students, but it was also necessary to give them the freedom to discover things on their own.

So it was obvious something like this could happen. I just hope Ashlyn didn’t get herself mixed up in anything down there.

’I better leave that for later. It doesn’t matter much. I just want to finish this class and go home. We’re already past schedule and it’s getting late.’ I notice night has already fallen and we’ve gone way over class hours.

"Now that some time has passed, I’d like to see if you’ve actually learned something. Does anyone have anything to add?" I ask all of them gathered here.

"Me!! I learned something really interesting from a woman I met!! She was blind, but—"

"Hold on, girls. I really don’t want to hear what you learned like that. Just tell me if you learned something, don’t give me details. I truly don’t care who taught you what you learned, as long as you learned something." Eirwen was definitely about to ramble on.

"...Ah...well...I learned that happiness depends on the person, not on the disability. The blind woman taught me with her words that losing something important doesn’t mean losing your own life."

"There will always be someone worse off, and complaining about injustice doesn’t change reality. And I also learned that a disability doesn’t define a person. The woman I met is still happy, she loves her family, has friends, and even found ways to live normally using the Nexus despite her problems." Eirwen impresses me a little. She learned a handful of things.

’Many people take years or a lifetime to understand that... but Eirwen doesn’t seem to have actually absorbed it... not to mention she clearly didn’t even ask the girl’s name... she still has a lot to learn.’ I’m not criticizing her, but she learned in a very "literal" way without truly absorbing what it means. It’s too didactic, like reading a book.

’About what I expected, I guess. You can’t expect all of them to fully absorb it. That would require a superhuman level of empathy just to be possible...’

"Now, how about you, Tanya? You’re honestly the one I expected to cause the most trouble, but surprisingly, you didn’t cause any." I say to her, and she looks offended by my honesty.

"I just learned that pride kills..." She makes a frustrated sound at me and says nothing else.

’Well, it’s a simple lesson, but an important one, so I’ll consider she did well... although her attitude shows she understood, but she doesn’t even make an effort to look like she’ll try to use what she learned...’ I look at Edith, who seems a little battered.

"You look like you went through something rough. Did you learn anything useful from it, at least?" I ask her, and she gives me a strange smile.

"...I did, hot stuff... I learned that not everyone deserves pity, and honestly, some fucked-up people deserve to stay fucked up." She speaks with a certain hatred in her voice.

’Someone did something to her...’ This is kind of funny. I’m sure it was a girl and that she tried to flirt with her, and if that girl was a veteran or someone with a very strong attitude, that person made her regret being so invasive.

"Anything to add?"

"Do you think—"

"Nothing? Perfect. Then how about you speak now, Charlotte?" I cut Edith off in the middle of her attempt to say more. She glares at me indignantly while Charlotte seems pensive.

"I didn’t learn anything useful at all. Just that the way you save someone matters, and although that seems relevant, I would have figured it out naturally the first few times I saved someone and saw they were scared or not." She forgets to hide her shitty attitude, the one she only has when we’re alone. It makes everyone look at her confused, since most of them don’t know she’s a complete manipulator.

"I-I mean, it’s interesting! I’m very happy to have learned it, but I really don’t see how it’ll be useful to me right now!! Besides, the person I talked to seemed... problematic. Professor, should we really be learning things from people who might teach us wrong things?" Charlotte asks an excellent question.

"No, you shouldn’t learn things from the wrong people. That’s the whole point of reflecting on what you learned. Obviously, not everything someone tries to teach you should be taken seriously. What are you, children? You should already know when advice is bad."

"If you received a piece of advice and you think it’s harmful or bad, it’s up to you to decide whether to follow it or not. I’m not going to force you to use anything you learned. It’s your choice. I’m just going to teach a good quick lesson here: choices have consequences."

"And if you choose something, all the responsibility for it is yours and yours alone, because you chose it. Understood? If you decide to use what you learned, then the results, whether good or bad, will be your fault and yours alone."

"Now, Rouge, what about you? Got anything to brighten up our night a little more?" Rouge seems quieter than usual. Her wolf ears are drooping, and her tail too.

"...Nothing."

"Nothing at all? You didn’t learn anything?"

"Nothing." She’s clearly lying, but I can’t just force her to say whether she learned something or not.

"Ashlyn? You, who broke several rules, did you at least learn something useful?"

"Huh? Ah... I-I... I-I don’t think I l-learned anything..."

"Really? No lesson? Like, sometimes someone dangerous might offer exactly what you want to hear, or breaking rules for your own goals might help?" I don’t think she entered the restricted area by accident, but I also don’t think it was entirely her own choice. I think someone told her to go in there.

And when I say that, Ashlyn’s eyes tremble, confirming exactly what I suspected. She’s retreating.

’Someone sent her into the restricted area... stupid girl... I knew it.’ She’s the type who’s easily influenced by others if it seems like it helps her. Someone who can quickly be deceived by offers that sound too good.

"We’re going to have a long conversation about this tomorrow night during training time." I tell her with a stern look.

"For now, you’re all dismissed. You can leave and—"

"And did you learn something?" Tanya interrupts me, speaking up. When she says that, all the attention falls on me and the question.

"What do you mean?"

"Isn’t it unfair that only we had to make an effort to learn something and you learn nothing!!" Tanya stomps her foot on the ground. Her logic doesn’t even make sense since I’m the teacher.

"Yes, I learned something. I learned that Eirwen is too much of an idealist, that you are far too disobedient—even knowing what’s best for you, you still don’t follow it—that Edith is too invasive and will one day die because of it."

"Charlotte... has a bright but very arduous future ahead of her. Rouge is simply going to end up suffering badly in basic aspects of life and cooperation. And Ashlyn will one day be deceived by someone and lose something extremely important from herself, or even die because of it."

"Everything I learned today are your weak points. Does that answer make you happy?" I speak sarcastically to Tanya, who grinds her teeth at me.

"And do you know what I learned today, right now?!" She steps closer, poking my chest with a look of contempt.

"That you’re an old witch who’s going to die alone, with no one but the criticisms you’re cultivating. It costs you nothing to give a compliment. It’s not like you’re going to die for praising us, and—" I slap her across the face, knocking her to the ground. Everyone gasps in shock while Tanya places her hand on her face, confused. Drops of blood begin to trickle from her lip.

"...?" She looks at me more confused than outraged.

"How nice that you think I’ll die alone. It’s your right to think whatever you want, but you should be more careful about how you speak to your superiors, you ungrateful little brat."

"You think I’m going to waste my time praising you? What are you, five-year-olds who need praise for every damn thing you do!? You’re all adults already!!! If you need a shitty compliment to feel good about something that’s being done to help your futures, then you’re all a bunch of fuck-ups who will die in the first ditch that appears on the road."

"I’m not your mother. I’m not your friend. I’m not your legal guardian. I owe you nothing but proper teaching. If you want praise, go beg your parents for it, Tanya, not me. If you dare ask me for praise again, I’ll do much more than slap you."

"I’m disgusted by people who think they can get things they like just for doing what they were told." I start walking away in anger. I hate this kind of attitude.

The problem isn’t the praise. The problem is Tanya thinking I’m obligated to praise her just for doing what was asked. In my entire life, if I received more than thirty compliments from important people, it was a lot.

Only Nadir used to praise me a lot in various aspects, and that’s because we’re special to each other. But between people who barely know each other, praise is earned when it’s truly deserved.

"I bet she had a complete little rich girl life, thinking she deserves praise for learning something that’s meant to improve her own life. How frustrating." I pull another lollipop from my clothes as I stop by a lamppost.

’...’ Although I would never admit it, I feel a certain rage toward Tanya whenever she acts like this, because it reminds me of how different life is for those who have means compared to those who started from nothing.

Even though I now have money for any luxury I could generally want, in the past it wasn’t like that. I had to earn all of this with Nadir. Tanya, on the other hand, clearly grew up hearing praise and words of encouragement.

"Who would’ve thought I’d feel envy of a little brat... it’s bitter... sours the taste of my lollipop..."

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