Beast Gacha System: All Mine

When the boundaries between worlds let everything bleed through, Arzhen had asked Cecilia, "Why didn’t you save me?"

Cecilia had thought she didn’t understand. But she actually did.

She had fallen in love with him once, and that was proof that she had wanted to save him. But some people didn’t want to be saved.

Like her three husbands. The men standing before her now, frozen in the snow, their faces pale with the shock of her fury.

What about Arzhen?

The darkness inside him, the way he treated her, the view he held upon the world, did he want to be saved?

No.

He didn’t even know he wanted to be saved. Not until that moment in the cafe, when the boundaries between worlds had thinned and the real Arzhen had bled through and begged her to save only him.

In the past, before he killed her, she had still thought he deserved to be saved.

Then she found out he had marked her belongings with his scent, mocking and humiliating her without ever being present.

As if the dam finally broke, she then discovered he had tried to kill his own father, the only person who still believed he could be saved.

And that wasn’t enough, he had gone out to seek the remains of Oathran, to forge them into weapons.

Now, even if he knew he wanted to be saved, Cecilia wouldn’t save him. Because perhaps, even before all of that happened, he was already a lost cause.

Which was why this hurt so much.

Her husbands knew she wanted to be that person, the one who would save them no matter what. Yes, the very one who would reach into the darkness and pull them out, no matter how deep they had sunk.

But they had chosen to face their demons alone, leaving her uninvolved.

They thought they were protecting her. But was that really the case? If they knew what kind of person she was, was that protecting her, or breaking her heart?

Savior complex be damned, that was the kind of person she was. It was a flaw. It was her fault. Why?

Because she never put herself first. She never walked away. She took them as her responsibility, and that was her fault.

These men, who never wanted to be a responsibility, had become one. And how arrogant of her to take responsibility over them?

But she was that kind of person.

Even love.

Perhaps they had always questioned it.

Did she truly love them?

They had only met under circumstances. She had never chosen to be with them.

Oathran had coincidentally been there when she was about to die, and they had survived together by bonding.

Arkai had coincidentally been there when Oathran needed someone else to be with her when he inevitably died.

Eastiel was a step above them, since he was chosen by her to be with the rest of them, but would he ever have been if the other two hadn’t become her husbands first?

This man would die, eating himself from inside out, plunging the world into war if she didn’t come and take him in.

She had gone along with destiny. She had never chosen them.

And she had told Angela, so simply, so confidently, that she loved the three of them. Just like that.

When did she fall in love with them? When did it become so deep? What kind of air had moved her heart? What story? Why?

Perhaps they acted this way because they didn’t want her to love them just because.

But Cecilia loved them just because.

She didn’t love them because they loved her. She didn’t love them because of what they did for her or the world. She didn’t love them because of the time they spent thinking about her, sacrificing for her, being there for her.

Regardless of who they were.

Regardless of right or wrong.

Just because they had entered her life the way they did.

Her love was the purest of all.

Because wasn’t that who she was?

Blind. Cecilia.

It was arrogant. Selfish. And she was.

But was it the same reason she saved people all this time? No. It was because—"You are all mine."

The words fell into the frozen silence.

It was a curse that perhaps they’d never know how deep her love was. But even if so— "I’ll devour even the demons inside you, so face me. Believe me. Tell me. Show me the ugliest part of you."

Her voice cracked, but she did not look away. She had never looked away.

"Because all of that is still the beautiful essence of your soul."

Arkai knelt in the snow, his tears still falling, his black eyes wide and shattered and slowly, slowly filling with something that was not guilt.

It was wonder.

She had never blamed him and would never. She was angry because he had blamed himself. She was furious because he had tried to carry his demons alone, and in doing so, he had shut her out of the one place she most wanted to be.

Eastiel stood behind her, his arms still wrapped around her waist, his lion ears still pale with shock. But his grip had tightened. And his golden eyes, which had been wide with fear moments before, were wet now with a different kind of emotion entirely.

He had spent so long believing he was the least loved, the afterthought, the one she had chosen last. But she had chosen him. She had chosen all of them, not because she had to or because destiny had forced her hand.

Just because they were hers.

Oathran had stopped mid-kneel. His grey eyes, usually so guarded, were open now. Raw.

The Dragon Lord, who had fled from her rather than face his own fear, who had screamed at the sky and searched for a god rather than return to her embrace, he understood now.

She would have helped him carry the Key. She would have helped all of them carry whatever burden they bore, not because it was her duty or because she had a savior complex. But because their demons were hers now.

Because they were hers.

[Cecilia.]

[We admire the essence of your soul.]

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Perhaps I shouldn’t say this under a Chapter I wrote myself but this point in the story is very satisfying to me. From the start of this story, because I planned everything that happened in this story, (I’m a planner, not a pancer) this part had been haunting my sleep since.

I’ve planned this exact thing to happen, their background, the characters relationships, the connections and revelations between the four of them. And there’s still more! There’s still more ghosts of their story, paralel to everything that had happened in every world and dimensions, haunting my sleep. And after this, Eastiel’s! 😂 I can’t thank you guys enough, and you already know why I am grateful to you. Ah, I’m having fun!

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