Chinese Medicine: Starting with Daily Intelligence

Chapter 639: Chapter 639: Genital Retraction

The scene in the examination room... was an assault on the eyes.

On the examination bed, an old man was lying spread-eagled, his pants pulled down to his knees, his lower body completely exposed to the air.

A circle of doctors and nurses, and even a few interns, surrounded him. They pointed and gestured while whispering amongst themselves, as if observing some rare animal.

The patient was none other than Gao Tang.

Thanks to a powerful painkiller injection, Gao Tang was no longer in the same life-or-death agony as when he first arrived. However, his current suffering was more of a mental anguish, stemming from sheer humiliation.

He covered his face tightly with both hands, wishing he could find a hole to crawl into and disappear.

The esteemed president of the Cosmetics Association, an industry titan, had been reduced to being put on "public display" by a group of youngsters. It was enough to ruin his reputation in his golden years.

Li Xu picked up the medical chart and glanced at it.

Name: Gao Tang.

’Hmm?’

’Isn’t this the president Ding Kaifang mentioned on the phone earlier?’

’What a coincidence.’

’He just stormed off after his run-in with Ding Kaifang, and the next thing you know, he’s lying here?’

"What’s the situation?"

Li Xu asked as he walked to the bedside.

Seeing Li Xu arrive, the director of the urology department hurried to report. "Dean Li, take a look. The patient’s chief complaint is a sudden, severe pain in his right testicle, which is radiating to his groin and lower abdomen. The physical exam shows significant redness and swelling on the affected side, and it’s tender to the touch. We gave him a painkiller, and while the symptoms have eased a little, he’s still in pain."

"Move your hands. I need to see your face,"

Li Xu said to Gao Tang.

Gao Tang was still burying his face in his hands like an ostrich. Hearing the voice, he reluctantly moved them away.

His face was pale and ashen, his forehead covered in large beads of sweat, and his lips were trembling slightly.

Even with the painkiller, that excruciating, stabbing pain clearly hadn’t subsided.

"After the shot, is the pain completely gone?"

Li Xu asked.

"It’s just... not *as* painful, but it’s still excruciating."

Gao Tang covered his face again, his voice filled with pain.

"Put your hands down. Don’t be nervous. Just relax."

Li Xu walked to the bedside and gestured for Gao Tang to lower his hands. Then, he extended three fingers and placed them on the pulse point of the man’s wrist.

The moment his fingertips touched Gao Tang’s skin, Li Xu was slightly startled.

"His hands and feet are ice-cold."

He then felt Gao Tang’s calf; it was just as frigid, completely devoid of warmth.

The pulse was deep, wiry, and taut, like a cold wind strumming a zither string.

"Dean Li, what’s going on? Is it testicular torsion?"

the director of urology asked.

If it was torsion, they needed to perform surgery to correct it immediately, or necrosis would set in.

Li Xu shook his head.

"It’s not torsion. It’s likely from... anger."

"Anger?"

The urology director and the surrounding doctors were all stunned.

"Yes," Li Xu explained. "In traditional Chinese medicine, the liver governs the free flow of Qi, and its meridian winds around the genitals and reaches the lower abdomen. The patient already has an underlying deficiency of kidney Yang Qi. Add to that the intense emotional distress he likely just experienced, and it’s caused his liver Qi to stagnate, obstructing its flow."

"When the liver Qi is obstructed, the Yang Qi can’t reach the extremities, which is why his hands and feet are ice-cold. Meanwhile, the cold Yin energy has congealed in the liver meridian. Cold causes contraction, which is why he’s experiencing testicular retraction and severe pain."

At this point, an outspoken young nurse nearby suddenly interjected, "Dean Li, could this be the legendary... ’being so pissed your balls hurt’?"

"PFFT HAHAHA..."

Her words were like a lit fuse. Everyone in the examination room could no longer hold it in and burst into roaring laughter.

Several of the younger doctors doubled over, on the verge of tears from laughing so hard.

’So pissed your balls hurt?’

It was indeed a common saying, one that people often used as a joke.

But who would have thought it was a legitimate medical condition?

And that they would see a living, breathing case of it in the hospital today.

’Looks like a lot of old sayings aren’t just empty words. The ancients weren’t kidding,’

the attending urologist remarked, wiping tears from his eyes.

’You learn something new every day. Truly, you learn something new every day.’

Amidst the joyous laughter, only two people couldn’t bring themselves to smile.

One was Gao Tang’s assistant.

He knew perfectly well that Li Xu was spot on.

His boss had just taken a load of crap at Ding’s Pharmaceutical Factory. The symptoms started just a few minutes after he left. This was definitely because that Ding Kaifang had pissed him off.

The other was Gao Tang himself.

Right now, he was so embarrassed he could die.

Being gawked at by a crowd staring at "that area" was one thing, but now he was diagnosed with "being so pissed his balls hurt." If word of this got out, how could he ever show his face in his social circles again?

Did he have any dignity left?

Li Xu struggled to suppress his laughter, striving to maintain his professional composure as a doctor.

In fact, he had already guessed as much. Nine times out of ten, this old man’s condition had been triggered by getting furious with Old Ding.

"Alright, stop laughing. This is a medical condition."

Li Xu waved his hand to stop the laughter. "I’ll write a prescription. We’ll have him try it first."

Just then, a young nurse who had been staring at the affected area suddenly cried out in alarm.

"Ah! Ah! It’s retracting!"

Gao Tang’s afflicted testicle was visibly retracting upwards, as if trying to pull itself into his abdomen.

Gao Tang let out a blood-curdling scream of pain and curled up like a shrimp, his cold sweat instantly drenching the bedsheet beneath him.

"This is ’Genital Retraction Syndrome’," Li Xu said, his expression turning serious. "The cold pathogen is too strong."

"Quick, go get the herbs for the prescription."

Li Xu quickly scribbled down a prescription and handed it to the nurse, ordering, "Find a thick blanket and cover the patient, especially his lower body to keep him warm. This condition is caused by insufficient Yang Qi and contraction from cold. With all of you standing around gawking, you’re scattering what little Yang Qi he has left."

"Everyone disperse. Stop crowding around."

"Oh, okay..."

Although everyone wanted to watch the spectacle a little longer, they didn’t dare disobey once Dean Li had spoken, and they quickly dispersed.

"Hang in there. You’ll feel better after you take the medicine."

Li Xu covered Gao Tang with the blanket, offered a word of comfort, and then turned to prepare for the subsequent treatment.

The examination room finally fell silent.

"Hiss—"

Gao Tang sucked in another sharp breath. The wrenching pain was becoming more intense; the effect of the painkiller seemed to have worn off, or perhaps it was never strong enough to suppress this level of nerve pain.

Before long, a nurse came in carrying a bowl of steaming hot medicinal soup that gave off a strong, herbal aroma.

The assistant quickly took the bowl, blew on it to cool it down, and helped Gao Tang sit up. "President, hurry and drink the medicine."

Although Gao Tang was dizzy with pain, he was lucid enough to know that the dean from just now was Li Xu—the same Li Xu who had developed that god-tier shampoo and left him utterly humiliated.

Though he harbored resentment, he also knew the man’s medical skills were truly formidable.

’If he can cross over into the shampoo business and wipe the floor with P&G, his actual profession of healing must be even more incredible.’

To save his own life, he didn’t care if it was scalding. He opened his mouth and gulped it down in large mouthfuls.

The scorching liquid flowed down his throat and into his stomach like a warm current, spreading rapidly through his body.

After finishing the entire bowl of medicine, Gao Tang let out a long breath and collapsed limply onto the bed.

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