Saria didn’t get even a minute of sleep more during that night. She spent the remaining hours replaying over and over again the scene she saw in her dream.
With how vivid both the dark feelings in her heart and the feeling of blood on her hands were, she couldn’t deny the possibility that it was one of the lost memories.
It was something she was afraid of ever since the last time she saw Asteria.
Remembering how stunned she was seeing Lysandra for the first time and the complex feeling that bloomed in her heart that night, she couldn’t deny that the Princess was someone special to her.
More than a mistress. More than a partner. More than a friend.
Like a contradiction to everything she was trained to be, Saria fell in love from the first moment shed laid her eyes on Lysandra.
The feelings she had for her were stronger than fear or Father’s teachings.
However, no matter how strong, they couldn’t overshadow one simple fact, which she became aware of as they bloomed.
Someone like her wouldn’t know how to love and cherish.
It was proven to her every time she saw that look on Lysandra’s face when she was talking about that man, Icarus.
From the first time, she felt uncomfortable at every mention of him. She hated her own discomfort and every time he was brought up. It reminded her that she wasn’t someone special in Lysandra’s life.
She was a substitute who didn’t quite live up to the expectations.
No matter how much she tried, she would always be the second choice.
She hated it.
She hated that it wasn’t enough. She hated that just being by her side, helping her, wasn’t enough to satisfy the yearning in her heart.
Saria wished to be content with just being second. After all, it still allowed her to be close and useful to Lysandra. She had a chance to do something good and help her.
It should have been enough.
But how can a heart so blackened harbor feelings so pure? Selfless love was not something she was capable of.
Being the person she was, the best she could do was not burden Lysandra with her selfishness.
Saria’s eyes drifted to the Princess sleeping peacefully next to her.
It took her some time to finally stop crying, and when she finally did, she fell asleep almost instantly. Lost between dreams and reality at some point, she clutched Saria’s shirt and refused to let go.
Saria traced the shape of Lysandra’s gentle eyebrows with her finger, taking in every detail of her perfect face.
Confronted with a sight like this, who wouldn’t fall in love?
At this moment, Lysandra’s eyelashes fluttered, and a pair of still, a little hazy golden eyes looked at her.
“Did I wake you up?” Saria asked softly.
Lysandra hummed in response. “What time is it?”
“It’s still early. The sun has risen not long ago. Sleep a bit more.”
Lysandra blinked a few times, fighting the drowsiness, then smiled softly. “You stayed.”
“I wanted to go, but you were holding my shirt so tightly… I decided to stay.”
Lysandra moved closer and rested her head on Saria’s chest. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did. How about you? Any bad dreams?”
“Mm… Because you stayed with me, I didn’t have any,” she said, nestling herself more comfortably in Saria’s arms.
This honesty was disarming.
Saria was unsure how to answer, so she hugged her tighter and pressed a featherlight kiss on her head.
“Sleep some more. I’ll stay with you as long as you need.”
Lysandra smirked. “What if I ask you to stay forever?”
“Then I’ll stay by your side forever.”
“So eager to become the permanent element of my bedroom decor,” Lysandra teased.
“Mm… Whatever you need, I’ll do.”
Lysandra raised her head to look at Saria. “You sound off. Is everything alright?”
In the next moment, they heard a voice coming from the other side of the doors.
“Your Highness, are you awake?” the maid asked.
“I’m awake,” Lysandra answered, then glanced at Saria lying next to her and quickly added, “Don’t come in.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Why were you looking for me so early in the morning?”
“Your Father wishes to inform you that your brother will arrive at the Palace today. He wants you to join them for a welcoming dinner this evening.”
“I understand. Tell my father I will be there.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” the maid said.
They waited for a moment, but there was no sound of footsteps.
“Is there anything else?” Lysandra asked eventually.
The maid was clearly startled. “N-no, Your Highness.”
“Then you may leave. I want to sleep a bit longer.”
This time, they heard quick steps moving away from the Princess’ chambers, meaning the maid had finally left.
“Can you not go?” Saria asked once the sounds behind the door faded.
“I wish,” Lysandra sighed. “Unfortunately, I don’t have much say in this matter.”
“Is your father not aware of the tension between you two?”
“To my father, the only thing that matters is power and keeping face. As long as we don’t go stabbing each other in public, he won’t bat an eye.”
“That is… cruel.”
The Princess laughed bitterly. “Well, my father isn’t exactly a parenting role model.
“He believes that if either of us weren’t able to stay alive, then we weren’t worthy of being his child. Especially me,” she scoffed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he demanded I drop dead on the spot if he knew that Loukios is trying to kill me.”
Lysandra sighed. “I don’t know what my mother saw in him. He is…”
“A pyrite-loving tit,” Saria finished the sentence without hesitation.
Lysandra looked at her in surprise, then, when their eyes met, both of them laughed out loud.
“Don’t ever let anyone hear you say it,” Lysandra warned, the smile still lingering on her lips. “My father would have you killed.”
Saria waved her hand nonchalantly. “You would save me.”
“I just finished admitting to how low my status in this family is, and you still think I would be able to get you out of this?” Lysandra laughed with disbelief.
“Mhm…” Saria nodded eagerly, “You’re resourceful. You’d think of something.”
Lysandra looked at her with narrowed, but clearly amused, eyes. “Don’t push it.”
This little banter helped clear the mood. Both of them felt slightly lighter, like the reality they were in didn’t feel so overwhelming anymore.
Suddenly, a question popped into Saria’s mind.
“Why did you tell the maid not to come in? We didn’t do anything.”
Lysandra looked at her, a cunning spark dancing in her eyes. “Exactly.”
Saria felt even more confused.
Seeing the bewildered expression, Lysandra couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“Staying the night to satisfy the desires of the flesh isn’t a big deal. Even better if they believe that,” Lysandra answered. “But staying the night, sleeping in each other’s arms just to give comfort to a broken heart is too… intimate.”
Lysandra’s hands caressed Saria’s face tenderly. “It would be too dangerous for both of us if they started suspecting something.”
“Suspecting what?”
Lysandra smiled, then placed a gentle kiss on Saria’s cheek. “It’s still early, let’s sleep some more,” she said, pushing her back on the pillow and nesting her head against her chest.
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