Crimson and Gold

Ch. 79 “The burden”

Shortly before dawn, the Princess’ chambers fell silent after a long night of ambiguous sounds.

Heron pulled out a swab of cotton from his ear and listened carefully. After a few moments had passed without any noise coming from the other side of the door, he nudged Alkaios with an elbow.

“What.. Wass happening? Attack?” His taller comrade wobbled in confusion, looking around with drowsy eyes. He had been dozing off for some time, leaning against the spear in his hand, so the sudden jab made him quite startled.

The other guard rolled his eyes and pointed at his own ear. “I think they’re done. It’s been quiet for a while,” he said once his friend finally unplugged his ears.

Alkaios sighed in relief. “Oh, thank the gods. My ears were starting to get sore.”

“See? I told you to use less cotton.”

“But with less cotton it was still too loud, and I couldn’t sleep,” the tall guard said while rubbing his ear with a pitiful expression.

His friend glared at him. “You shouldn’t be sleeping in the first place, stupid. You’re a guard. Your job is to guard, not sleep!”

“You’re awake, and Saria is inside,” Alkaios shrugged. “That already makes this place the most guarded part of the Palace. What change could I make?”

Heron pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling utterly hopeless. “How by the Ten did you even get this job?” he muttered to himself.

The tall guard yawned and leaned against his spear lazily again. “That’s because of my hidden talents, of course,” he said proudly, already starting to fall asleep again.

“Hidden talents, my ass.” Heron groaned. “The only talent you have is to fall asleep everywhere.”

***

Lysandra was lying in bed with her head resting on Saria’s chest. Her slender finger moved slowly, drawing circles on her lover’s exposed skin.

After countless days of being apart, this quiet moment felt like a dream.

Ever since they confirmed their feeling for one another, they barely had any moments to enjoy each other’s company.

The Princess wished for this idyll to last longer, however, some matters needed to be discussed.

She took a deep breath and began slowly with a hushed voice. “Therion visited me today.”

The woman resting next to her moved slightly.

The night left her thoroughly exhausted. After having little to no sleep over the past couple of days, using her powers more frequently, she also sacrificed part of her own strength for Lysandra.

And not even counting the vigorous exercise the Princess put her through just a moment ago…

Taking all of that into account, Saria had to face the unpleasant truth. She was absolutely spent.

Nevertheless, even though she felt ready to pass out at any moment, hearing her lover’s troubled voice, she forced herself to stay awake.

“I haven’t seen him around in a while. What did he want?” she muttered, her consciousness just barely present.

Lysandra held her breath, then lifted herself on one arm. She looked at her woman, her calm face, bearing some signs of deep fatigue, and bit her own lip in hesitation. “He asked me to marry him,” she admitted eventually.

Saria’s eyes snapped open, the drowsiness from a moment ago evaporated from her body immediately. “What did you—”

“I slapped him in the face and threw him out of the Palace,” Lysandra clarified hastily.

Saria exhaled loudly as the tension left her body. Even though she was certain of the Princess’ feelings and certain of the relationship between them, the sound of those words still put her on edge.

Feelings, jealousy in particular, cared little for logical thoughts. It always latched to the tiniest amount of doubt and held to it with its full might.

It was true, especially after hearing the veiled pain in the Princess’ voice.

“Do you regret rejecting him?” she asked.

“No! Of course not!” Lysandra sprang up. “Even if it were my only choice, I wouldn’t disrespect you like this.”

The Princess ran her fingers through her loose hair. Small knots formed and their ends from the passionate encounter she and Saria shared.

She started slowly untangling them, lost in thought.

“It simply made me question everything about our friendship,” Lysandra said, picking at the hair. “I don’t know anymore which parts of it were real and which were aimed at winning my affection.”

The friendship between her and Therion lasted for over twenty years. Along with Zahra, the three of them had known each other since childhood and shared both precious memories and the troubles they were facing.

The bond between them was something she treasured deeply. Way more than she ever cared about the relationship with her own family.

“I keep wondering… Whenever he helped me, was it because he believed it to be the right thing to do, or was it merely a ploy to get me?” Lysandra said, her voice sounding more dejected as she spoke. “Was it really his good heart, or was he using gratitude to trap me and use me, just like everyone else?”

Many people coveted her status. Being the Princess of the Aelius Empire was a perfect life for many, something they could only dream about. There was also the beauty that always made her the center of attention, no matter where she went.

What to others was a fairytale, to her was no different from a nightmare.

The status she held was significant only on paper. Her power as the Princess was mostly an illusion that worked only on a few select occasions.

Her looks, on the other hand, weren’t benefiting her in the slightest. Having constant attention from people not only made it harder for her to achieve her goals, but it also made her a target.

Suddenly, she became a prize to be won. A piece of decoration to be possessed.

So many people in her life treated her with fake kindness, just to make her lower her guard. At some point, Lysandra started to appreciate those who were openly hostile to her. At least she could see their true colors right away.

But none of that should have applied to the people she considered her friends.

“Was I too naive? Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted any of his help? What if my reliance on him gave him the wrong idea? Maybe I am the one really to blame?” Lysandra wondered aloud, her voice becoming raspy from the tears welling up in her eyes.

Saria sat next to her and looked her in the eye. “Did you ever tell him that he has a chance?”

“No! Never!” the Princess denied with all her might. “He and Zahra were the only people I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with. They were the first to know when I realized I’m only attracted to women.

“He knew of every girl I was enamored with, from my first infatuation all the way to my love for you. He knew I never saw him as anything but a friend and maybe a brother. He knew…” The Princess gasped frantically. She panicked, feeling that she needed to explain properly, to assure her lover, to make sure she didn’t doubt her.

“Then it’s not your fault,” Saria said, wiping away the tears from Lysandra’s cheeks and looking at her tenderly.

“You made your intentions clear, so it’s his fault for enabling his own delusions. You can’t choose who you fall for, but you can choose how you’ll handle it. Confessing isn’t always the best option, even if it’s driven by truth,” she explained calmly, without even a hint of distrust in her voice.

She never doubted Lysandra, and she never intended to accuse her. She simply wanted to help her understand that she wasn’t at fault.

“Sometimes, the best thing one can do for the person they love is to remain silent and spare them the burden of knowing,” she added, much quieter this time.

Those words she spoke both for Therion and herself.

Lysandra looked at her lover with glistening eyes. In just a few sentences, a great weight was lifted off her heart, and her storming emotions were silenced.

“I missed you so much…” she whispered, leaning into Saria’s arms.

“I missed you, too.” She heard the gentle timbre of her woman’s voice sound by her ear. The warmth of her breath tickled her earlobe and soothed her heart.

Then, her chin was unexpectedly lifted, and she met the pair of passionate crimson eyes staring at her intently. “Actually, I need to tell you about something. There is a chance your research will have a breakthrough soon…”

***

Still sitting in bed, Saria gave Lysandra a thorough report on what she encountered the other day at the old alchemist’s house.

Hearing about Beatrice and her condition, Lysandra felt both sympathetic and hopeful. She wished this kind of fate upon nobody, but she couldn’t ignore the potential benefits that examining the girl would bring.

Saria’s idea also had a lot of potential.

Due to the withdrawal from the drug and supplementation with recovery potions, the girl’s cells didn’t fully assimilate with the drug’s venom, preventing them from undergoing the full transformation into a Husk.

She intended to use her magic to force Beatrice’s blood to separate from the venom in her system. Then, using alchemy, they would instigate the girl’s body to expel the toxins, using the natural defense mechanisms.

“I can definitely brew potions that would encourage natural cleansing processes, but it will be very taxing on the body. I’m suspecting that your intervention won’t be gentle either,” Lysandra wondered aloud. “I’m not sure the girl will be able to survive this.”

Saria nodded. “That’s why we’re going to need a capable healer, too. You said that your friend, Zahra, was very skilled at it, yes?”

“Zahra isn’t just skilled. She is a prodigy in the healing world. Her magical prowess outshines even the Life Circle Magisters,” Lysandra explained. Her words were veiled in a layer of pride.

Saria didn’t know exactly who those ‘Life Circle Magisters’ were, but the impression she got was that her lover’s friend was indeed very impressive. She nodded even more eagerly this time. “Do you think she would be willing to help us?”

The Princess leaned back to support herself on one hand, while the other brushed the strand of hair off her shoulder. “Of course. Zahra would never say no to me,” she said in a way that sounded a lot like bragging. “And even if not for me, she will definitely do this for knowledge.”

Hearing the first part, Saria remembered that the very friend was also the one to claim Lysandra’s first kiss. Suddenly, she started feeling that maybe employing her help wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Unbeknownst to her, the sour feeling made way to her face, turning into a grimace.

It didn’t go unnoticed by the Princess, who giggled at the sight of her lover’s scrunched face. “Relax. She’s just a friend. A very good and trusted friend,” she said, while gently caressing Saria’s earlobe.

“I know, I know… I can’t help but feel a little possessive over you.”

The vague smirk on the Princess’ lips bloomed into a full, dazzling smile. “I like it when you’re being a little possessive.”

Saria glanced outside the window towards the horizon, where the sun was hovering just barely above it. “If that’s the case…” She turned back to Lysandra with mischief rippling in her eyes. “Then I’ll be a little possessive a little more since it’s still early.”

The Princess didn’t even realize what was happening when she was suddenly pulled under the blanket and showered with kisses.

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