Dao of Language

The neutral Qi has run out, so, before the Resonance begins to also pull at the Qi of the spirit stones and turns the session into a burning of money, I stop concentrating on the Yin Gate and dissolve in my mind the rune of the neutral Qi, with which the Resonance goes out.

And then, driven by a mixture of habit and of pure masochism of which I never quite rid myself, I do what I know I should not do if I intend to preserve my good humor, so instead of returning immediately to normal vision, I fix my attention on the Qi that has been left floating around me.

Because I have consumed the neutral Qi, true. But the fire Qi remains exactly where it was, and it is not little, since now I only make out a dense tide of fire Qi particles that fill the Qi-gathering formation, that swirl lazily in the overheated air and that, to me, personally, are of absolutely no use.

I let out a sigh loaded with impotence at that sight, stop concentrating and the room appears before my eyes again.

And the first thing I see, the moment I recover my normal vision, is Lianhua.

She is standing, at that point from which she can watch at once the door and me without having to turn her head, and there is something in her posture that tells me she has already been waiting a while for me to finish. It is not impatience, because I doubt Lianhua knows that word, but rather that attentive and contained stillness she adopts when she has something to tell me and has decided not to interrupt me until I finish the session.

And, indeed, the moment she confirms that I have opened my eyes and returned to the world, she does not lose a single second.

“Zhāohuán Wen”, she tells me. “Guifei Xiang has sent word that you should come to her office as soon as it is possible for you.”

Upon hearing her my stomach twists slightly, because under normal circumstances, that my mother should call me should not worry me in the least. But it is that experience has taught me that, when my mother sends for me to her office, and on top of that with urgency, it is almost never to give me good news.

I let out another sigh, this one of anticipated resignation.

“Then it will be better not to keep her waiting”, I tell her.

Lianhua nods, approaches, leans over and surrounds me with her arms with the ease of one who has repeated the same gesture so many thousands of times that she now executes it without thinking. She lifts me from the low chair in which I cultivate, transfers me to the wheelchair and deposits me in it with care, settling me well before positioning herself behind and beginning to push.

We leave the room and head down the corridors of the Pavilion on the way to my mother’s office. The trip passes in the customary silence, with the heat sticking to the skin and with the handmaidens bowing discreetly at our passing while Lianhua advances with the same serenity with which she does everything else.

While she pushes me, I take advantage to try to get ahead of events and manufacture hypotheses, although in this case none of the ones that occur to me turns out especially reassuring. I mentally review everything that could have gone wrong in the last few days and, to my scant comfort, the list is longer than I would like.

But I don’t have to wait long to clear up my doubts, since my mother’s office is not far and we soon arrive before her door.

Lianhua stops the chair, steps forward and knocks with her knuckles. An instant later, the door opens and on the other side appears Lingxi, who looks at us with that attentive and perfectly controlled expression of hers, and the moment she confirms that it is us she steps aside.

“Come in”, she tells us simply as she opens the door all the way.

Lianhua pushes me into the interior, and the moment I cross the threshold I make a quick sweep of the room.

My mother is seated behind her table, and the first thing I notice is an expression of worry that she does not bother to disguise in front of me, and that can be made out in the tense line of her mouth and in her somewhat dulled gaze.

And the second thing I notice, on top of the table, is a crumpled paper.

It is no ordinary carelessness. My mother is one of those people who fold a letter along its creases even if they are going to throw it away, who do not leave a brush out of place nor a sheet crooked. That there should be a paper crushed and then unfolded again on her table turns out to be almost as revealing as her expression, because it means that something written on that paper drove her out of her wits enough to mistreat it.

I join that detail with the urgency of the call and with her face, and the conclusion I draw I don’t like at all.

“Mother”, I say while Lianhua places my chair in front of the table. “What is happening for you to send for me with such urgency?”

My mother lets out the air slowly, like one who prepares themselves to say something they would prefer not to have to say.

“I’m afraid I bring bad news, Wen”, she replies.

I lower my gaze toward the crumpled paper that rests on the table, and then I look at her again.

“Does it have something to do with that note you have mistreated?” I ask.

And for a second, only for a second, I see how something resembling shame crosses her face. A hint of blush, the discomfort of one who realizes too late that they have left in view a reaction they would have preferred to keep to themselves. She lowers her eyes an instant toward the paper, as if noticing for the first time the state in which she has left it, and then lifts them toward me again.

“Yes”, she admits, and there is in that monosyllable a touch of resignation. “It has to do with that.”

She takes the crumpled paper, smooths it a bit on the table with a gesture almost of apology toward the poor object and begins to speak.

“Do you remember the Elder Feng?” she asks, although we both know the question is purely rhetorical.

“I could hardly forget him”, I reply, and I don’t bother to disguise the little esteem I have for him.

My mother nods, and from her expression I deduce that my opinion is not far off from hers.

“Well, it turns out that his maneuvers have ended up bearing fruit, although not exactly the one he was seeking”, my mother continues. “Between how much he has insisted before the council of elders using the printing press and the rest of your inventions as an argument, together with the fame you have been accumulating on your own, you have managed to awaken the curiosity of several of the elders of the Sect.”

Here she makes a pause and gives a little tap with her finger on the now-smoothed paper.

“And that curiosity has translated into this”, she tells me finally. “A summons, since some of the elders want to meet you, and for that they have sent for you to come to the Sect.”

I process the information in silence for a couple of seconds, but before letting myself be carried away by panic, there is a more urgent question I need to ask.

“Does that mean that the Elder Feng has finally obtained what he wanted?” I ask, and I notice the worry slipping into my own voice.

My mother shakes her head right away, and in her gesture there is a reassuring firmness.

“No, Wen, I already told you before”, she tells me. “The Elder Feng wants them to claim you, and this is not a claiming. It is, simply, that a group of elders wants to meet you in person before deciding whether it is worth taking you to the Sect or not.”

I let out a long sigh, and I notice how a part of the tension I had in my shoulders loosens a bit. Not entirely, because I still have ahead of me a trip I did not ask for to a place I do not want to go, but at least it is not the catastrophe I had begun to fear.

“Well”, I murmur. “I suppose that, within the bad, it is the least bad.”

Then, since I’m at it, I decide to sound out the most comfortable exit.

“And can I decline the elders’ kind invitation?” I ask, without too much hope but with the feeling that asking it costs me nothing.

My mother sketches a small smile, one of those she reserves for when I amuse her in spite of herself.

“You can decline it, dear”, she replies. “But an invitation from the Sect is only an invitation while you accept it. The moment you reject it, it ceases to be one, and what comes after no longer resembles an invitation so much.”

“I already imagined as much”, I sigh.

I stay a moment thinking, resigned to the inevitable, and since I cannot avoid the trip, I decide at least to take advantage of the occasion to extract from my mother some useful information, because if there is something I have learned in this life it is that she knows the rules of the game infinitely better than I do.

“Since I cannot reject the invitation, I would appreciate some advice”, I tell her. “Some way of making those elders underestimate me, or directly scorn me enough that they lose the desire to recruit me?”

Because, let us be honest, that is my whole objective. I don’t need to dazzle anyone, but rather the opposite, since I intend to go to that interview with the firm purpose of failing it with the greatest possible elegance.

My mother looks at me with something resembling approval, as if it pleased her to confirm that her daughter has understood to perfection the nature of the problem.

“With the matter of your legs you already have half the battle won”, she tells me without beating around the bush, with that frankness she only permits herself when we are alone. “The Sect is a profoundly practical place, and a disciple who cannot walk is, in their eyes, a complication before a treasure. That plays in your favor without your having to lift a finger.”

I nod, because it is a bitter but accurate way of looking at it.

“And the other half?” I ask.

“The other half you will have to earn yourself”, she replies. “And the best way to do it is for you to manage to get them to undervalue your capacity for cultivation. In the Sect, above lineage, above contacts and above almost anything else, what they truly appreciate is talent for cultivation. It is the only measuring stick that truly matters to them. So the worse opinion they take away of your capacity as a cultivator, the less probable it will be that they want to burden themselves with you.”

I keep to myself the smile that threatens to peek onto my lips, because if there is something I am amply trained for, after years feigning before half the court that I am no more than a girl in a wheelchair with a bit of talent for books and little else, it is precisely to give the impression that I am not worth much as a cultivator.

Feigning mediocrity in that respect is, at this point, almost my second nature.

“Thank you, Mother”, I say, and I mean it. “It is the best advice I could hear.”

Then, now focused on the logistics, I ask the next obligatory question.

“When am I supposed to leave?”

“Tomorrow”, my mother replies.

I blink upon hearing her answer.

“Tomorrow?” I repeat, and I don’t manage to disguise the surprise. “How is it so soon? You barely give me time for anything.”

“Because the notification has not arrived through the usual channels”, she explains. “It has been brought in hand by a group of members of the Sect itself who are already here, in the palace. An Inner Disciple and four Outer Disciples, to be exact, and their mission is to escort you to the Sect’s headquarters. They have not come to deliver a message and leave, they have come to take you.”

I take in the news and, although the haste does not please me one bit, it is not as if I have a choice.

“In that case, it will be better for me to begin preparing as soon as possible”, I say. “How many days am I supposed to be away?”

My mother thinks about it an instant before replying.

“The trip to the Sect’s headquarters will be, in all probability, about five days”, she says. “That I know with a certain assurance. What I don’t know, and have no way of knowing, is how long they will keep you there once you arrive before letting you return. That will depend entirely on the elders and on their mood.”

I make a quick calculation in my head.

“Five days there and five back are ten days of travel”, I reason aloud. “To that must be added the stay, which is an unknown. So, in order not to fall short, the most prudent thing is to prepare as if I were going to be away a whole month.”

“That seems fine to me”, my mother approves. “It is always better to go with a surplus than to discover halfway there that something is missing.”

With that I already have the essentials, so I decide it is time to get moving.

“Well”, I say. “If you have nothing more to tell me, it will be better for me to get going. Preparing the luggage for three people is going to take its time, and by the look of it I don’t have much to spare.”

And that is where my mother looks at me with an eyebrow barely raised.

“If your intention is to take Lianhua and Xia with you, it is very probable that the Sect’s envoys will raise objections”, she warns me. “The invitation is only for you, not for your retinue.”

But I, far from worrying, only smile at her.

“They may raise them”, I concede. “But I am convinced that they will change their minds right away.”

My mother inclines her head a bit, inviting me to explain myself, and I clarify it for her delightedly.

“When the Sect’s disciples tell me that I cannot take my handmaidens, I will simply remind them that, given my condition, if they do not travel with me, then it will be they who will have to occupy themselves in person with helping me in absolutely everything I need during the road”, and here I smiled maliciously. “And I will emphasize the everything. Dressing me, grooming me, getting me up, putting me to bed, carrying me from one place to another. And I am sure that, the moment they stop to imagine what that means in practice both on the trip and when we reach the Sect, the decision will make itself.”

My mother observes me for a moment, in silence, and then lets out a small laugh, brief and genuine, one of those she almost never permits herself.

“They will accept taking them so fast that it will seem they never raised any objection”, she tells me when she finishes laughing.

I smile at her now more openly.

“That’s what I thought”, I reply to her.

And with that I consider the conversation concluded. I take my leave of my mother with a gesture and a few words, she returns the gesture with a look that already carries considerably less worry than when I entered, and I make the customary sign to Lianhua for her to take me out of there.

Lianhua pushes me out of my mother’s office and we head back toward mine, which is where I have planned to organize the whole matter of the luggage. But before arriving, and the moment I see a handmaiden pass down the corridor, I stop her with a gesture.

“Find Ling Xia”, I indicate to her. “Tell her to come to my study immediately, that it is urgent.”

The handmaiden bows and shoots off to carry out the errand without asking questions after hearing my order.

Upon reaching my study, Lianhua places my chair in its usual spot and positions herself nearby, attentive, awaiting instructions. And I, who throughout the whole trip have been mentally ordering the list, begin to let it out.

“The luggage will be simple”, I tell her. “Food for six days, in case the trip drags on longer than the five foreseen. And the new outfits, of course.”

I bring my hand to my chin and stay a moment thinking, reviewing what must be taken and, above all, what must not.

“The Storage Bag we are not going to take”, I continue after that pause. “We don’t have the slightest idea of how scarce or how abundant those artifacts are inside the Sect, and it does not interest me in the least to draw attention by carrying one. But what we are indeed going to take are all the talismans we have at our disposal and all the spirit stones.”

Lianhua registers the list without interrupting, until I reach the last part of the plan.

“And there is one more thing I want you to do”, I tell her, looking at her. “Later, when you have a moment, go out and exchange at least two thirds of our normal money for spirit stones.”

There Lianhua does look at me with a silent question in her eyes, one of those she only formulates when something doesn’t quite fit for her.

“What do you want to do that for, Zhāohuán Wen?” she asks at last. “And what for so many talismans? It is much more than we would need for a simple trip.”

And I explain my reasoning to her, because it is a most reasonable doubt.

“It is very simple”, I begin. “The Sect has the monopoly on all the Techniques that are worth anything. All of them. The little that can be obtained here, at court, are only the Techniques they consider inferior, the crumbs they let fall. That is why I have never even bothered to try to get my hands on the ones within my reach, because they were worth neither the effort nor the cost.”

Lianhua nods, following me.

“But now the matter changes because, whether I want to or not, I am going to go to the Sect”, I continue. “And if by chance the occasion presented itself to get my hands on some of the good Techniques, those that can only be obtained there, it would be a stupidity not to go prepared to take advantage of it. Whether by exchanging it for spirit stones or for talismans, I want to carry enough capital on me in case the moment arrives.”

Lianhua meditates on it an instant and then nods, although with a note of caution.

“It is a good idea”, she concedes. “But it would not be prudent either to get one’s hopes up too much. The Sect does not hand out its Techniques lightly, and even less to someone who goes there precisely so that they underestimate her.”

“I know”, I reply to her. “I’m not getting my hopes up, believe me. But one thing is not to get one’s hopes up and quite another very different one is to present oneself with empty hands. I prefer to go loaded and for the opportunity not to arise, than for the opportunity to arise and to discover that I cannot take advantage of it for not having been foresighted. Because in that case the lamentations would serve absolutely no purpose, and I detest lamenting over something I could have avoided.”

Lianhua nods again, this time with that brief inclination of the head that in her is equivalent to granting me complete reason, and just at that moment the door opens.

It is Xia, and it is obvious a mile off that she has come running from the other end of the Pavilion. She enters with her breathing somewhat agitated, a lock out of place and that face of contained alarm of one who has received an urgent notice and has gone imagining the worst possibilities throughout the whole way.

“What is happening?” she asks the moment she crosses the door, looking alternately at Lianhua and me. “They told me it was urgent.”

I look at her, and with a reassuring smile I decide to give her the pleasant version first.

“Nothing serious”, I tell her. “Just that I need you to help Lianhua do the luggage because we are going on a trip.”

And for a fraction of a second, Xia’s face lights up, since that word brightens her day. But the joy lasts her little, because almost immediately she furrows her brow upon putting two and two together.

“Wait”, she tells me, narrowing her eyes. “If you have called me with such urgency, that means the trip is also urgent. And an urgent trip is not usually for good reasons.”

I cannot help half a smile escaping me, because Xia, as scatterbrained as she seems at times, has an infallible nose for these things.

“Well spotted”, I acknowledge. “It turns out that some of the elders of the Sect have decided that they want to meet me, and by the look of it they are in quite a hurry about it because there are already people waiting in the palace to escort us to the Sect tomorrow itself.”

Upon hearing that, Xia’s worry shoots up, and her expression passes from suspicion to open unease. She opens her mouth, surely to let loose a whole string of questions and fears, but I cut her off before she begins.

“I already know what you are going to say”, I get ahead of her, with all the calm I manage to gather. “And yes, it sounds much more problematic than it probably will be. The elders only want to take a look at me, nothing more. So, whatever we do and whatever happens, the best thing we can do is treat this whole matter as if it were a small vacation.”

Because, after all, if I have no choice but to attend a job interview I did not ask for at a company I do not intend to join, the least I can do is take advantage of the round trip to see a bit of the world.

And with that idea in my head, I almost manage to convince myself that a month away from home does not have to be so terrible.

Almost.

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