Alicia and Yvonne walked out of the restaurant after Jessica had disappeared to the back, without a word between them, all the way across the car park.
It was only once the car doors were shut and the world had gone quiet that Yvonne let out a long breath and slumped back against the seat.
"Right," she said. "So that’s complicated."
"Mm."
"That’s not a small problem, Alicia." Yvonne turned to look at her. "What are you going to do?"
Alicia stared through the windscreen at the restaurant entrance, her hands resting on the steering wheel as if she might take off at any moment. "I don’t know. I don’t know what to do."
She heard the words come out of her mouth and hated how small they sounded. She had spent years convincing herself she was in control of this situation, that her mother’s plan would work, that Kai would eventually come around. And now here she was, hiding in a parked car while the ghost of her past was just within a hair’s breadth.
The restaurant doors swung open, and Jessica came out.
Alicia’s entire body went tight. The girl had let her hair down now, the ginger curls falling past her shoulders, and she’d swapped the uniform for a cream cardigan and jeans, a canvas bag slung over one shoulder. She looked ordinary. She looked harmless. She looked exactly like someone who had no idea the amount of trouble she was causing.
Alicia watched Jessica walk a few feet away from where the car was parked, heading toward the bus stop. Her hand moved to the ignition, and she turned the key over.
Yvonne’s gaze flicked to her, but she remained silent.
Alicia’s fingers closed round the steering wheel until they became white, and something ugly rose in her chest and came out of her mouth.
"What if I just run her over?" she whispered. "What if I just put my foot down and made sure she dies this time?"
Yvonne’s head snapped round. "Right. Okay. Let me out."
Alicia looked at her friend. "What?"
"No, I mean it, let me out of this car." Yvonne already had her hand on the door. "You’re not a murderer, Alicia. You’ve never been a murderer." She reached over and put her hand on the steering wheel, as if that might anchor the car in place. "Before you do anything that insane, let me out of this car."
Alicia let go of the wheel and her whole face collapsed and she made a small, frustrated sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper, dropping her head back against the headrest.
"I don’t know what to do, Yvonne. I don’t know how to fix this. If Kai finds out what happened, if he discovers she’s been alive all this time and I knew—"
She stopped, pressing her palm against her forehead and Kai’s face flashed in her memory.
"I don’t want to see hatred in his eyes when he looks at me," she whispered. "I can’t. I’ve spent years trying to make him care about me, and if he finds out the truth, I lose him. I lose everything." Tears filled her eyes. "Why didn’t that bitch just die in that accident? Everything would have been fine by now."
Yvonne was quiet for a moment, studying her friend with careful attention. "Can I say something you won’t like?"
"You’re going to anyway."
"You’d have been out of all this by now if you’d just told him the truth at the time," Yvonne said. "If you’d told Kai the truth from the beginning. If you had gone to him the moment you suspected anything, he would have been angry, yes, but at least you would have had a clear conscience. And who knows? Maybe he’d have had time to move on from Jessica by now."
Alicia stared at her. "Whose side are you actually on?"
"Yours." Yvonne held her gaze. "That’s exactly why I’m telling you this. I want the best for you, Ali. Not the best for your mother. I want you to be free of all this. And you could be free of it. It’s not too late to tell Kai the truth."
Alicia glared at her, and for a moment, the anger was real and hot. Then it faded, and she sighed, slumping back in her seat.
"And what exactly would I say?" She let out a bitter little laugh. "Go on. Give me the sentence. ’Morning Kai, lovely weather, by the way I think my mother had something to do with Jessica’s accident.’ How does that go? What happens after that sentence?"
"You tell him what you know."
"But that’s the thing." Alicia turned to her. "I don’t know anything. She’s never told me. She won’t tell me what she did or how. Every time I’ve gone near it she’s shut the door in my face. I’ve got no names, no dates, no idea who she spoke to or what she paid or how it was done. Nothing."
"Ali—"
"So how do I prove it?" Her voice rose. "How am I even sure my mother has a hand in any of it?"
Yvonne sighed and lifted her shoulders. "I can only tell you what I think. You know that. The decision is yours to make. It’s your life." She glanced out of the windscreen, where Jessica was standing, scrolling through her phone. "So what do you want to do right now?"
Alicia followed her gaze. "I want to know where she lives," Alicia said, sitting up straighter. "That’s step one."
She put the car in drive at the same time a bus pulled up. Jessica looked up and joined the small queue shuffling towards the doors, and Alicia eased the car forward, eyes fixed on that cream cardigan.
But before she could go further, her phone buzzed from the dashboard. The screen lit up with a name that made her stomach lurch.
Dennis. Kai’s Beta.
Alicia answered on the second ring, her voice steady despite the sudden tightness in her chest. "Yes?"
"Miss Westwood." Kai’s beta sounded tired. "Sorry to bother you. It’s the Alpha."
Alicia’s foot came off the accelerator. "What’s happened? Is he hurt?"
"No. He’s in a bar. He’s had a great deal to drink and he’s showing no signs of stopping, and he won’t come home. He won’t listen to any of us." A pause. "I thought you might have better luck."
Alicia pulled over so sharply that Yvonne grabbed the handle above the door.
"Where is he?"
Dennis gave her the name of a bar on the other side of the city.
And Alicia sat there with the engine idling, phone against her ear, looking out at the bus. Jessica was climbing the steps now. The doors would close in a minute. She was caught between two decisions: follow the bus. Find Jessica’s address. Information her mother wanted, information that could protect her.
Or.
Or go to the man in a bar, grieving, lonely, completely off his guard, and a mother’s voice in her head saying, If you fall pregnant, they’ll have no choice at all. Kai is a decent man, and decent men did the right thing when they were left no other option.
The bus doors hissed shut.
"I’m on my way," Alicia said, and hung up. She swung the car into reverse so fast the tyres complained.
"What’s going on?" Yvonne demanded, bracing herself against the dashboard.
"I need to take my fiancé home, that’s what," Alicia said, her eyes on the road. "He’s getting drunk at some bar, and I’m not leaving him there."
***
A few hours later, they were at the Crescent Moon pack house, and darkness had settled over the pack. Getting Kai out of the car was a group effort.
His coordination was gone, his feet tangling on the gravel path. Dennis took most of the weight while Alicia guided them toward the stairs.
Kai laughed and started talking again. He had been talking since the car.
"I saw her." He jabbed a finger at nobody in particular and nearly took both of them down with him. "That’s the thing. That’s the whole thing. Everyone keeps doing the face at me, you know the face, the sad little face, oh poor Kai, but I saw her. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, Alpha," Dennis said.
"And then the footage." Kai stopped walking entirely, which caused a small pile-up. "Dennis, you saw that it was tampered with right?"
"I know, Alpha. Mind the step."
"Somebody’s been in that system." He allowed himself to be moved again. "And I’m going to find out I hope you’re on it. And if I find her, then everyone in this house is going to have to sit there and look at me and admit that I’m not mad."
"Nobody thinks you’re mad," Alicia said, trying to contain the bite in her voice.
"Everybody thinks I’m mad." Kai laughed hysterically. "But she’s coming back. She’s alive and she’s out there and she is coming back."
They got him through the door, along the landing and into the bedroom, and Dennis tipped him onto the bed with all his strength.
"Will you be all right, Miss Westwood?"
"I’ll manage," Alicia said. "Thank you, Dennis."
Dennis backed out and the door clicked shut.
Alicia stood in the middle of the room for a long moment, looking down at the man on the bed. Kai’s eyes were drifting closed now, his breathing heavy and uneven. He was still mumbling unintelligible things. His shirt was rumpled, his jaw shadowed with stubble. He looked broken.
For a moment, Alicia’s heart split open for him, and tears welled in her eyes. For a second she thought of turning around and leaving him alone.
But the plan surfaced again, unbidden. Her mother’s voice in her head, smooth as silk.
Decent men always do the right thing when they’ve been given no other option.
Then she moved over to the bed, leaned down and started on his shoes, easing them off one at a time and setting them beside the bed. She got him halfway upright, tugged the shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. His socks. Then her hands found his belt.
When she straddled him, he stirred. His eyes fluttered open, unfocused and dark, and he looked up at her with an expression that made her stomach drop.
"Jessica?" he whispered.
Alicia’s heart twisted so hard she felt it in her teeth. But she smiled. She smiled because that smile was the only thing standing between her and the screaming inside her head, and she leaned down so close that her lips almost touched his ear.
"It’s alright," she said, making her voice soft, warm, the way she imagined Jessica might sound in the dark. "I’m here now."
She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I’m sorry, Kai," she whispered, letting the tears drop from her eyes. She kissed his cheek. His jaw, his temple, while her free hand went behind her and found the zip of her dress.
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