Faking It With The Hockey Star

Harper’s POV

I had no idea what time it was anymore. The hospital lights had dimmed hours ago, but I couldn’t remember when. I had stopped checking the clock, stopped checking my phone, and stopped checking the messages that kept flooding in. Everything outside this room had become completely irrelevant.

There was only Justin. Justin lying quietly in the hospital bed, his chest rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. That was all that mattered.

His grandparents stayed for as long as they could, until Grandpa finally rubbed his lower back and sighed. "Your grandmother and I need to go home for a few hours."

I looked over at them, my voice soft. "You should rest."

Grandma smiled tiredly. "So should you."

I shook my head. "I’m fine."

She gave me the look only a grandmother could give. "You have been sitting in that chair for hours."

"I don’t care."

"Harper."

"I’m not leaving him."

Neither of them argued anymore. They kissed Justin’s forehead before leaving, and Grandma squeezed my shoulder gently. "We’ll be back."

I nodded, remaining glued to my seat. I couldn’t leave. What if he woke up? What if his blood pressure dropped, or the doctors needed someone? I knew the doctor said he was stable, that there was no permanent damage, and that he simply needed rest. But my body refused to accept it. Every time the monitor changed its rhythm, my heart jumped into my throat. Every time a nurse stepped inside, I sat up straighter. Every time Justin shifted, I was immediately on my feet, terrified that looking away for even a second would cause something awful to happen.

People came and went throughout the day. Coach Reynolds arrived first, standing beside Justin’s bed for several minutes in complete silence. He looked entirely different without the rink around him, devoid of his stern coach’s authority, just a worried man staring at one of his players.

"He scared the hell out of us," Coach whispered.

I nodded numbly. "He scared me too."

"Don’t blame yourself, Harper," he said, squeezing my shoulder.

"I didn’t say I was."

"You didn’t have to."

Mason came later, attempting to make me laugh, but the humor died quickly. He stood over Justin and shook his head softly. "Come on, bro. You still owe me a rematch." When Justin didn’t stir, Mason wiped his face and looked away, his voice quiet. "So you better wake up."

His teammates arrived one by one, standing silently at the foot of the bed. They all left with the same solemn request. "Tell him we came. Tell him the guys are thinking about him. Tell him we need him back."

Professor Silas visited too, his gaze softening as he looked at me. "Harper, you should go home. You have been here all night."

"I’m not leaving," I replied, forcing a faint smile. "I’m fine."

He sighed gently. "You don’t have to prove anything to anyone."

"I’m not," my voice cracked. "I just want to be here."

He squeezed my shoulder. "Then take care of yourself too." I promised I would, though we both knew I wouldn’t.

My mother came with Emma and Noah in the early hours of the morning. Mom walked into the room without her walker, looking tired but determined. She gently touched Justin’s arm, her voice trembling. "Oh, sweetheart. He’ll be okay."

"I know," I murmured, though my voice sounded hollow.

Emma offered me a bag of food. "We brought you something to eat."

"I’m not hungry."

"Harper, you haven’t eaten properly."

"I’m fine."

Mom gave Emma a small nod, knowing there was no point in pushing me. They stayed a little longer before leaving, promising to check in soon. The moment the door closed, I collapsed back into the chair beside Justin.

I looked at him, really looked at his sleeping face, and something deep inside me shattered. Justin was always smiling, always armed with a joke, a sarcastic remark, or a playful grin. He was the anchor who made everyone else feel safe. When I was scared, he protected me. When I was overwhelmed, he held me. He had been my rock for months, yet I had completely failed to notice that he was crumbling under the weight of his own life.

Tears blurred my vision as I stared down at him. "How did I not see it?" I whispered. "You were exhausted. You were barely sleeping, studying all night, training, dealing with your father, managing your mother’s company, preparing for the draft, trying to graduate. And every time I asked if you were okay and you said yes, I just believed you."

I covered my mouth as a sob hit my chest. I should have looked harder. I should have forced him to sleep, made sure he ate, and taken his phone away. The doctors, his grandmother, and Coach had all told me it wasn’t my fault, but the guilt clawed at me anyway. Loving someone made you feel responsible for protecting them from everything, even the pain they hid behind a smile.

I reached out and took his warm hand, pressing his knuckles against my cheek. "I tried," my voice broke into tears. "I swear I tried. You were always there for me. Why wasn’t I enough to notice?"

Justin remained still, lost in deep, sedated sleep.

Hours later, the door clicked open as his grandparents returned. Grandma froze when she saw me, still sitting in the exact same spot, wearing the same clothes from the day before.

"Harper," she said softly, walking over to me. "You’re still here. You need to go home, darling. You need to shower and eat."

"I can do all of that later," I shook my head, my tears falling freely again. "I’m not leaving."

She crouched in front of my chair. "Harper, please."

"I can’t," my voice broke completely as the suffocating panic finally took over. "I’m scared. What if he wakes up and I’m not here? What if something happens? I can’t lose him."

Grandma stood up and pulled me into her arms. I collapsed against her, sobbing into her shoulder, letting go of the terror I had been holding in for hours. "I can’t lose him. I need him. I love him so much."

She held me tightly, rubbing my back with steady, rhythmic strokes. "You won’t lose him, darling. I know how much you love him. He’s going to be fine. We just have to be strong for him right now."

And for the first time since Justin had collapsed on the ice, I let someone else hold me while I fell apart.

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