Chapter 371: A Heart That Hurts

Lyria’s POV

The moment I entered my chamber, the door closed behind me with a soft click.

The sound seemed strangely loud.

The room felt smaller than it ought to have, the walls pressing in around me as though they, too, were aware of what had transpired within the Queen’s chambers.

Phineas had already been sent discreetly to search for Kathryn.

Brayden stood to watch guard outside, his hands clenched into fists when he saw the mark upon Elara’s face and the state in which I had returned. His jaw was rigid, his eyes dark with an anger he could neither express nor afford to express.

But I did not care.

I did not speak to anyone.

My maids hurried around me, their movements gentle as they helped me remove my outer garments. They spoke in low voices, their concern evident in every word, but their voices seemed distant.

Muffled.

As though I were listening to them from the bottom of a very deep well.

My thoughts were elsewhere.

My mother first.

I needed to find a way to get her the herbs she deserved.

I swallowed hard.

And then there were the commoners.

I had placed them in danger.

I had spoken up because I thought I was defending them, only to hand the Queen another reason to turn her cruelty upon them.

I wondered why I had allowed my emotions to get the better of me during the event. Why I had spoken when I should have remained silent. Why I had imagined, even for a moment, that my words might make some meaningful difference.

I lowered my eyes.

There was a reason I had spoken.

I hated the blatant discrimination.

I hated the manner in which commoners were treated as though they were somehow less than human. As though their presence were an inconvenience to be tolerated rather than people whose presence ought to have been valued.

They were people too.

They worked.

They paid taxes.

They kept the kingdom running.

They deserved respect.

They should not have been made to leave simply because they had been born into a different station.

I hated it then.

I hated it now and I would hate it forever.

The door opened just then and Kathryn entered.

She wore a dark cloak, the hood drawn low over her face. I had little doubt that she had disguised herself before coming here. If the Queen were to find out she was here without her permission, I did not doubt Kathryn would be punished.

The moment she saw me, however, her expression changed.

She took one step forward.

I spoke for the first time since entering the chamber.

"S-see to Elara f-first," I said.

Elara immediately shook her head.

"Your Highness, I must insist that you be attended to first. My injuries are of little consequence compared with—"

"Elara," I interrupted gently.

She fell silent.

"Kathryn w-will see to me. But I w-want her to see to y-you first."

Kathryn regarded me for a moment.

Then she glanced at Elara.

"Your Highness is correct in wishing you attended to," she said to her then she glanced at me. "However, I shall examine you first. Once I am satisfied that you are in no immediate danger, I shall tend to Elara."

I opened my mouth to protest.

One look from Kathryn stopped me.

"Your Highness," she said firmly, "please."

I sighed.

"V-very well."

I eased out of the garment carefully, wincing when the fabric dragged against the burned skin beneath it.

Kathryn’s expression darkened when she saw the angry red marks stretching across my shoulder and upper chest.

She did not ask how it had happened.

She already knew.

She simply reached for the salve.

Her hands were gentle as she worked, applying the ointment slowly and carefully. The coolness soothed the burning sensation, and some of the tension in my body finally began to loosen.

"Is there anywhere else?" She asked once she was done.

Elara stepped forward.

"Her legs."

Kathryn looked towards me.

I nodded.

She examined my legs where the jug had struck me. The skin was already red and swollen, the bruising beginning to darken beneath the surface.

Her lips pressed into a thin line.

She applied another layer of herbs.

"Does anywhere else hurt?"

I looked at her.

For a moment, I could not answer.

There were too many things hurting.

My own helplessness.

The constant knowledge that no matter what I did, I seemed to make everything worse.

I lowered my eyes.

Then, softly, I answered.

"My h-heart h-hurts."

Kathryn’s hands stilled.

She looked at me with an expression of surprise before carefully composing her features once more.

I managed a faint, sad smile.

"Can y-you treat that too?"

She did not answer.

Perhaps there was no salve for that sort of wound.

I sighed.

"N-nothing else hurts," I said. "Please, s-see to Elara n-now."

Kathryn studied me for a moment longer.

Then she nodded.

She turned her attention to Elara, gently examining the marks upon her face before applying the necessary ointment.

Elara remained perfectly still.

She had endured the Queen’s blows without complaint, but now, under Kathryn’s care, I could see how exhausted she truly was.

When Kathryn had finished, I spoke.

"I w-would like to retire f-for the night." My voice was quiet. "Please l-leave."

The maids exchanged uncertain glances.

Then they curtsied.

"Yes, Your Highness."

One by one, they filed from the chamber.

Elara lingered at the door.

For a brief moment, her eyes met mine.

There was something in them I could not quite name.

Concern, perhaps.

Or understanding but alas she bowed and left.

Silence settled over the room once they were gone.

I lay upon my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Perhaps if Patricia were still alive, I would have gone to her.

She would have known what to say.

She always had.

Perhaps she would have known how to ease this terrible ache in my chest, or perhaps she would simply have sat beside me until the pain became bearable.

But Patricia was gone.

The thought made my throat tighten.

I turned onto my side.

Then onto my back.

Then onto my other side.

Sleep refused to come.

My body was exhausted, but my mind would not rest. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my mother’s face.

I saw the commoners leaving the arena.

I saw Elara being struck.

I felt the heat of the tea against my skin all over again.

Finally, I sat upright.

There was no point in pretending I would sleep.

I crossed the room and opened the wardrobe.

I took out a dark cloak and wrapped it securely around my shoulders.

Then I knelt beside the hidden floorboard.

After lifting it carefully, I retrieved the small pouch of herbs I kept concealed there.

I crushed a little between my fingers and rubbed the mixture against my wrists and the side of my neck, masking my scent as thoroughly as I could.

I had no intention of being followed.

At least, that was what I told myself.

I rose and turned towards the door.

Ah...there was no way I could leave without my guards knowing.

I opened the door.

Phineas and Brayden looked towards me immediately, varying degrees of curiosity.

"W-would either of you l-like to escort m-me somewhere?" I asked.

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