Fell Champions

3-4. Terms and Conditions Apply

Despite everything, Otter was feeling pretty good. Sure, her girlfriend was kidnapped, and she was still in a death game run by a douche bag mongrel, and her libido was demanding to start humping the nearest available hole, and she didn’t exactly have a consenting one available beyond her own hand, but… wait, why was she feeling good?

It didn’t matter. She was about to make Kir’s life complete agony, but in the most fun way possible. With luck, everyone involved would have fun. Otter’s only regret was that she wouldn’t be present to see Rua crack Kir’s perfect control.

That, combined with the fact that Rua wasn’t hurt – for now anyway – was probably the reason behind said good mood. 

She paused, appreciating it, and then waited for the other shoe to drop. When nothing happened, she stood, completely tense. First a minute, then two, and then became anxious. Was there really nothing bad coming to ruin the moment?

Well, she couldn’t have that. If her day wasn’t going to be ruined by fate, or random chance, then she was going to make sure someone else’s would be. 

She turned back to the door of Kaya and Liaru’s house, and without knocking, opened it and stepped in, nearly colliding with Liaru herself.

“Were you listening to me?” Otter asked.

Liaru didn’t even have the grace to look guilty. She arched an eyebrow at the question, and said, “You’re still an unknown. I wanted to know who I’ve let into the house, particularly in view of the fact that you like to talk to yourself.”

“I wasn’t talking to myself,” Otter said. “I was talking to Rua. We have a connection, it’s sort of a result of my Pact.”

“You could talk to her all this time, and you’ve spent days just sitting about?”

“I can’t talk to her all the time,” Otter said. “If, for example, Kir is nearby, she doesn’t respond, for obvious reasons. Besides, me sitting around for those three days was all part of my master plan.”

“Which you haven’t explained.”

“I like being mysterious.”

Liaru folded her arms under her breasts, which Otter tried not to look at. Seriously, why did Silayans all have to have low cut tops? And walk around with their midriffs constantly exposed? And most of their legs? She was trying really hard not to get an erection these days. She missed the days when she didn’t have a cock lurking inside of her that threatened to pop out whenever she wanted to pop out. 

Liaru was expecting some kind of response, and Otter honestly didn’t have one, beyond a gut feeling she needed to play her cards as closely to her chest as she could. She was too new to this world. She didn’t know what kind of Pacts were out there, or who to trust. Liaru and Kaya seemed on the up and up, but there could be any number of reasons not to share her plans.

Hell, she hadn’t even told Rua anything meaningful, beyond new and exciting ways to tease Kir. 

“Operational security,” Otter said. “I’ll share when you need to know, if you need to know. But I will tell you, I’m not holding back anything that’ll hurt you or anyone in this household.”

Liaru considered for a moment, and then nodded her head. “I don’t exactly know what I can contribute anyway.”

“Well, I mean, you’re already doing a lot, giving me and Su… Vex a place to stay. Oh, also, I have acquired us some thug power. We’re going to need rooms prepared for two more hench monkeys.”

“Hench… monkeys?”

“Oh right, no one around here gets my slang. We’re bringing in two more people into the operation, Rua is fine with it. They were already coming before the whole Kir debacle.”

“I’ll see what I can arrange. Is there any chance that they’re light eaters? Our stocks aren’t exactly flush at the moment. Most of the income generated by Seat Hyleah is being paid into reparations.”

“Uh, Sami is, but Everett is… well, he’s a big guy.”

Liaru sighed, but nodded. “I’ll see what I can arrange. I don’t suppose either of them has a skillset that might help earn them an income while they’re here?”

There was a certain unsaid comment in there that Otter detected that sounded a lot like, ‘unlike you.’ 

“Sami’s mostly a stabby person with some background in the arts. So, no useful life skills. But Everett might be able to help. Besides, we can always start selling bananas.”

“Right. The… new additions to the garden.”

“Trust me, the fruit on them isn’t bad, and they’re unlike anything anyone on the Islands have had before. I’m telling you, we can make a mint selling them. Just, you know, don’t sell them all. Rua’s going to want some for herself when she gets back. It’ll be like a welcome home present after I put my foot up Kir’s ass for stealing my girlfriend.”

“And remind me again how we have entire trees in our garden that no one saw planted?”

“Magic?” When Liaru gave her that stern glare of hers, Otter shrugged. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Let’s just say someone with a very powerful Pact owed me a favour.”

That Liaru seemed to accept, which felt kind of annoying.

“So, did the Seat have any information to convey?” Liaru asked.

“Just that she’s fine. Oh, and something about me helping you with some bureaucracy you’ve been having difficulty with?”

The absolutely dubious look Liaru gave was worth enduring her cold behaviour in itself. “Bureaucracy?”

“Yeah, something about some ‘Lists.’ Said you’d explain it.”

Kaya, who’d been sitting at their small kitchenette and trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, made a small squeak noise. Liaru’s body language changed instantly. She lowered her arms, and arched an eyebrow, a small smile coming over her face.

“Really? She said you could help with that?”

“Yep. But just so you know, I am absolutely terrible at paperwork, so whatever this is, don’t expect much–”

She was cut off as Liaru crossed the small distance between them, grabbed her by the collar, and then heaved. Otter wasn’t exactly sure what happened, but suddenly she was lying on her back on the kitchen table. Liaru stood over her.

“Uh?” 

“Do you know how long I have been trying to get on the Lists?” Liaru said, her tone annoyed, but her expression very much not. “Sureya has been blocking me for years, out of pure spite.”

Otter tried to rise, but Liaru looked at Kaya and said, “Dear.”

Kaya squeaked again, but stood, and pinned Otter’s shoulders to the table. Kaya wasn’t particularly strong. Otter felt she could probably get out of this even without soul power-enhanced strength. Still, she was suddenly very interested in seeing where this was going.

“So, someone wanna explain what these ‘Lists’ are?” Otter asked. “Because I get the feeling I’m going to be writing a letter to Penthouse about this.”

“Do you ever say anything that makes sense?” Liaru said.

“Honestly, I don’t even fully understand that reference either. No idea what ‘Penthouse’ is, but it’s something people say in, uh, sexy contexts like this.”

Liaru appraised her with eyes that betrayed nothing. Otter really felt like she was being undressed with that gaze, but not in the fun way. More like judged, which was kind of annoying. 

“The Lists,” Liaru said, “are a solution that came into being after the Occupation. The Faceless Oppressor killed many pelanoa, and continues to do so. We had a population crisis on our hands after the Push.

“Pelanoa tend to be territorial. They’ll settle down with a small group of women, and rarely venture out of it. The Lists incentivize financial rewards for seeking out any women whose names are on them and impregnating them.”

“Oh, it’s a breeding program. Sure, nothing bad ever came of those, cool.”

“Sureya has been weaponizing them,” Liaru said. “Anyone not deemed… Silayan enough… doesn’t get on the Lists. So, because of my wife, I’m not allowed to have children.”

That poor underworked hamster in Otter’s brain finally ran a full lap on its wheel, and she saw where this was going. She took a moment to process. It wasn’t exactly something she’d planned to do, but had kind of accepted she would inevitably have happen.

But still, kids. She liked to joke about putting a baby into Rua as a form of teasing, but she hadn’t actually thought about it before beyond the odd breeding fantasy that had flitted through her head. Was she okay with having them? Maybe.

The way her cock was pushing out of her and now straining against her pants, a part of her definitely liked where this conversation was going.

Otter sucked in a breath and said, “Not allowed to have children altogether, or just denied access to an easy way to get them? Because I could help with one, but… actually, no, fuck it, I could probably help with both.”

“A few terms,” Liaru said, holding a finger up. “These are non-negotiable, and you need to understand them ahead of time.”

“Are these from you, or also from Kaya?” Otter winked at Kaya, who blushed and looked away.

“They’re from both of us,” Liaru said, her cold tone returning. “We discussed this years ago, when we were originally planning on having children, before we’d given up hope.”

“And you’re just speaking for her, huh? Well, guess who we know who the alpha is in the relationship.”

“One,” Liaru said. “This is an act of copulation, not sexual enjoyment.”

Otter looked Liaru up and down as deliberately as she could. “I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be both.”

“I understand that, as a pelanoa, you will enjoy what you are about to do. I merely want to state for the record that I have no intention of doing so.”

Good luck with that, Otter thought to herself. 

“Second,” Liaru said. “This does not mean in any sense of the word that you are entering into a relationship with either myself or my wife. There will be no terms of endearment, no attempting to push boundaries on that front. What Kaya and I have is ours. You are merely a donor.”

“Right, sure, do you just want me to jerk off into a cup then, or…?”

Liaru gave her a confused look.

“Right, Silayans, sex is treated differently here. So, I’m going to fuck the kid into… I’m assuming you?”

If Kaya had been blushing before, her current shade of red put sunsets to shame. She exchanged a glance with Liaru, who cleared her throat.

“We’d always assumed I would have to bear the child,” Liaru mused. “We’d never considered… are you certain? The amount of people willing to bed a Criobani on the Islands can likely be counted on two hands. But to give them a child?”

Otter shrugged. Or tried to, with Kaya holding her shoulders as she was. “Your wife seems more the stay-at-home-and-raise-the-babies type. Honestly, I’m not picky. You’re both hot. I’m down for whatever.”

And she really wanted to start fucking something. She’d never been so turned on in her life, and she’d been in more sexy situations than most people she knew. She honestly felt like she was about to explode, and she hadn’t done anything sexually stimulating yet.

Still, she couldn’t sound desperate. Otter’s brain hamster was chattering to her very loudly that Liaru might try to take advantage of that. This was just a transaction to her. Better to think Otter wouldn’t be getting anything out of it, despite the fact that she really, really wanted to bareback one of the two women right then and there. 

“You’ll be fucking me,” Liaru finally said after a moment’s hesitation. Kaya made a small whine sound. “We’ll discuss any… further possibilities later. In private.”

“Right, right, fuck the ice queen, gotcha, maybe bang the cute redhead later.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Liaru said, her voice steel and something just short of fury.

“Right, I’ll let you figure that one out later on your own time then. So, anything else?”

“Yes. One final rule. And the most important. Any child resulting in this union, or any future union, isn’t yours. You need to understand that now. It is mine and Kaya’s. You will not involve yourself in their life unless we allow it. You get no claim.”

Otter was about ready to agree to anything at this point, but honestly, this one was kind of a relief. She found the idea of impregnating someone intoxicating, but she wasn’t sure if she was exactly… parental material. At least, probably not at this point in her life. 

Still, how far did that go?

“What about birthday presents?” Otter said. “Or presents in general? Do I get to be like, I dunno, a cool aunt? No interference in your parenting, but just… you know, drop in sometimes, see how my spawn’s doing?”

Liaru looked about to say something, but Kaya interrupted, “Yes, that’s fine. Welcome, in fact.”

Liaru paused, but then nodded her head in agreement.

“Then yes, I accept, where’s the Terms and Conditions button, I’ll mash it. Let’s get some baby making done.”

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