Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)

Zephan;

I hate uncertainty.

I hate it more than war. More than arguments, more than politics, and the endless stupidity of nobles who think power makes them intelligent.

At least war is honest. And battles make sense—Someone wins. Someone loses. Blood spills, and the outcome becomes clear, eventually.

But this?

This feels like trying to hold water in a basket.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I stare at the shattered parchments across the room, and my jaw tightens again.

I threw them there an hour ago. Maybe two.

I cannot tell anymore.

My room is dark except for the lantern near the window, and even that faint light irritates me tonight. Everything has been irritating or recent.

The silence, the uncertainty...My own thoughts.

I lean back further against the chair and drag a tired hand down my face.

Asa... No... The witch.

Even now, I do not know what name I’m supposed to use for her.

She’s the woman who nearly slaughtered us at Gravemaw, but the same woman who protected Elián with her life.

The same woman who smiled at him beneath the stars before dying in his arms.

None of it makes sense. And I hate that.

I hate it because the more I think about it, the more unstable everything feels.

I remember Gravemaw too clearly.

The blood, the destruction... the terror.

I remember her standing there like death itself had taken the shape of a woman.

I remember how cold, cruel and merciless she was.

That woman nearly destroyed my family.

She nearly killed Koda. Nearly killed me...

So then why— Why would she protect Elián? Why would she die for him?

My nails dig into my palms as my fists clench.

Why is a part of me trying to understand Elián’s naivety?

It was foolish of him to trust her. To hide her from us, despite knowing what she is!

I can’t help but think that she played on his intelligence.

But then again... Elián looked genuinely devastated.

Not manipulated... Not deceived.

But heartbroken.

Completely and utterly heartbroken.

I close my eyes briefly and let out a breath.

The room feels suffocating tonight. Everything feels suffocating lately.

Especially after seeing Elián lose control. That part unsettles me more than I want to admit.

I have never seen power behave like that before. I genuinely thought Elián might destroy about half the palace without even realising it.

My heart aches at the memory.

I remember the look on Koda’s face, too.

It was fear. Not fear of Elián. But fear for him.

Always for him.

Light!

What are we even becoming now?

A soft knock breaks through my thoughts, but I don’t bother turning. Because I can sense her.

The doors open quietly despite my silence, and Mother enters without waiting for permission.

Of course she does.

Her silver and black hair spills elegantly over one shoulder tonight, and her golden eyes immediately settle on me the second she steps inside.

Observant as always. Annoyingly observant.

She closes the door behind her before speaking, and I just watch her.

"You’ve been hiding in here all evening."

"I wasn’t aware I required supervision." I retort, and she smiles as she walks further into the room.

"You don’t. But you do require common sense, and currently you seem to be lacking it." She replies, and I scoff as I look away from her.

She walks over to me and takes her place in the chair opposite mine.

She stares at me in silence for a few seconds before finally speaking.

"You’re thinking about her." She says flatly. Straight to the point, as always, and I lean my head back.

"I’m trying to understand her," I reply, and she hums softly at that.

"And?"

"And I can’t," I confess. The frustration in my voice is sharper than I wanted to let on, but it’s too late to take it back.

I’m pretty sure that even without talking, she could see the frustration.

"Nothing about this makes sense," I add as my gaze drifts toward the dark window nearby.

"She was a witch," I say bitterly as everything sways and clashes in my mind.

"She nearly destroyed Gravemaw. She nearly killed us." I pause before adding more quietly, "Then suddenly she dies protecting Elián?"

I laugh once. Dryly in maddening irritation.

"She risked herself against that thing without hesitation. And Elián defended her."

That part bothers me deeply. Because Elián knew.

Somehow... He knew what she was. And still trusted her.

I rub my temple slowly as I shut my eyes.

"I don’t understand any of this." I breathe, and I feel Mother’s on me for several seconds before she finally speaks.

"People are rarely only one thing." She then breaks the silence, and I look up at her.

Her expression is easy as always, and that makes me wonder if she doesn’t understand the maddening complexity of the situation.

"She was cruel," I say firmly.

"Yes." She replies casually, and my brows knot.

"She murdered people."

"Yes."

"She lied to us!" I snap, and Mother nods once.

"She did."

I grit my teeth as my frustration peaks in the face of her indifference.

"Then why are we suddenly acting like she deserves sympathy?" I demand, and she exhales softly.

"Because her truth does not erase complexity." She replies, and that answer irritates me.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that people are not simple creatures, Zephan." She says calmly, as her gaze drifts briefly toward the window.

"Grief changes people." She says, and her gaze returns to me.

"Love changes people." She continues, and I blink at her.

"And regret also changes people." She whispers.

Something about the way she says regret unsettles me slightly.

Like she understands it too well.

She folds one leg elegantly over the other before continuing.

"You are trying very hard to place Calisí into a single category."

"Aren’t you?" I retort, and she scoffs softly as she shakes her head in negation.

"No." She answers immediately, and I raise a brow.

"She was dangerous. Cruel. Violent...." She pauses briefly.

"But she also protected Elián with her life." She adds, and I stay silent. Because that is exactly the problem.

Both things are true, and I hate it.

I hate contradictions. I hate uncertainty. I hate things that refuse to fit neatly into place.

She studies my face carefully before speaking again.

"You prefer certainty because it feels safer." She says, and I scoff.

"Obviously."

"But certainty is often just arrogance wearing prettier clothing." She retorts, and that makes me frown slightly.

However, she continues before I can argue.

"Believing people cannot change is a stubborn and narrow mentality." She adds, and my eyes narrow faintly.

"Most people do change," she says quietly, and I roll my eyes.

"Unfortunately, most change from good to bad." She says, and the words settle heavily between us.

"But a few," she continues softly, "learn how to grow from bad to good."

I look away immediately after that. Because something uncomfortable twists inside my chest.

I remember several times I have seen Asa smiling at Elian. I remember Elián laughing with her.

I remember how gentle she looked that night compared to Gravemaw.

Light!!

Even remembering it feels wrong somehow.

"She still lied," I mutter, definitely, and she nods.

"Yes."

"She still manipulated us."

"Yes."

"And she worked with monsters," I note, and Mother’s gaze softens slightly then.

"And yet she still died protecting your Omega."

Silence crashes heavily through the room afterwards.

I hate that she keeps circling back to that part. Because I cannot explain it away. No matter how hard I try.

A witch and warlock who nearly killed us should not have sacrificed herself for Elián. She should have handed him over to that thing.

She should have let that creature take him.

Instead... She stood in front of him. And died.

I shut my eyes briefly.

"...I don’t understand why." I breathe, and Mother grows quiet for several seconds before answering.

"Perhaps because Elián saw something kind in her when everyone else only saw a weapon." She says, and I freeze.

"You think Elián changed her?"

"I think Elián changes many things." She replies calmly, and I fall silent. Because it is true.

Ever since Elián entered this family... Everything has changed.

Koda changed, Zethar changed, Rhydian changed... Even Father changed.

And now?

Now even witches are dying for him.

What exactly is Elián becoming?

The thought lingers heavily in my mind. I stand abruptly and move toward the window.

The cool night air helps slightly. Only slightly.

Below, I can see guards moving more heavily than usual.

Everyone is tense lately. Frightened. Waiting.

Nagari feels different now.

Like something ancient woke up, and the kingdom senses it.

"What was that thing?" I ask quietly, and Mother falls silent behind me.

I glance back briefly.

And immediately know she doesn’t want to answer.

Wonderful! More uncertainty.

"When the time is right, I will tell you," she says carefully. Like I’m something the truth can break, and I hate that.

I turn fully toward her now.

"That creature came specifically for Elián."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I can not tell you that yet."

I laugh again. Short and frustrated.

"That answer is starting to become exhausting." I point out, and her gaze softens slightly.

"I know."

Silence follows again afterwards.

Then finally I breathe.

"I’m worried."

The confession leaves me before I can stop it.

Mother freezes slightly. Not because of the words themselves. But because I admitted them aloud.

"I’m worried about Elián and the baby," I continue more quietly.

"About Father."

About Koda, too...

"I’m worried about what happens next."

The room suddenly feels colder somehow, and I shut my eyes.

"He’s changing from what he first was," I admit quietly.

Mother says nothing.

"That power..." I swallow slowly. "I’ve never seen anything like it."

I once again remember the flowers blooming and dying... Storms responding to his grief, and the world bending around his emotions.

It did not feel like magic. It felt like nature itself obeyed him instinctively.

And that power terrifies me.

Because Elián is gentle. Too gentle.

...But grief changes people. Mother literally just said so herself.

So what happens if something eventually breaks that gentleness completely?

The thought chills me terrifyingly. I lower my gaze slightly.

"What if this changes him?"

Mother rises slowly from her chair then.

She walks calmly towards me.

"Everything changes people, Zephan."

That’s not exactly comforting. I exhale tiredly.

Then, finally, ask the question that has been festering inside me this entire time.

"What if Elián is right about her?"

She raises a brow.

"He knew she was a witch and hid it." My throat tightens slightly. "Can we really trust witches and warlocks?" I pause. "Is that what this means?"

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!