High School DxD: Fox of Ill Omen

Yuuto

“Yuki,” Asia-san asked softly, still seated close enough that she could reach her if needed, “Is your training the only reason you’ve been so absent lately?”

Her question settled over the room as 

The worst of the mess had already been cleared.

Xenovia-san and Yuki-san had cleaned up the broken cups and tea pot.

Asia-san had recovered quickly despite how panicked she had sounded when we first entered the room.

She would look at Yuki-san with open concern despite her being the one to jump on Asia-san.

I had cleaned up the spilled tea while Asia-san helped.

Now we were seated together at the edge of the room instead of its center.

That had been my suggestion.

It felt wiser not to make Yuki-san sit back inside the array while trying to explain what had happened.

Her silver ears were lowered only slightly, but enough that I knew she was more ashamed than she was trying to appear.

Her tails lay quieter than usual around her, no longer darkened by her new ability, but not fully relaxed either.

She had drawn herself back together after the incident with a discipline I found both admirable and worrying.

She had not reacted well after coming out of her state while on top of Asia-san.

She had started to breath too quickly and talk so fast it was practically rambling.

It was on of the few moments I had seen from here where her composure broke that badly. 

It had taken Asia-san hugging her and then demanding that she acknowledge that Asia-san was alright for her to calm down.

Or at least not look like she was going to have a panic attack.

Asia-san had mentioned that she had been worried that Yuki-san had become a stray Devil. 

When I had first burst into the room with Xenovia-san, it looked to me that was exactly what had happened.

I had hunted down and destroyed stay Devils in the past, so I had been able to tell that the feel of the pressure coming off of her wasn’t that of a stray.

But it was vaguely similar.

It made me worried for Yuki-san, but I understood that this is what she needed to do to become stronger.

She had a limitation that was holding her back, and this was a way forward.

Yuki-san’s eyes lowered toward the floor for a moment before she answered Asia-san.

“I’ve been focused on trying to master the state,” she said.

Her tone was too even.

She went on before any of us could respond.

“And after what just happened, I think it’s obvious I can’t safely practice it around other people, like Xenovia-san said.”

That much was true.

None of us argued with it..

Xenovia-san crossed her arms and nodded once.

“It’s reasonable. That’s why I said it.”

Asia-san nodded too, though her expression was gentler, sadder.

“Yes. That makes sense.”

“So I’ve been spending all of my time trying to master it, or at least get it to a point where I can control myself.” Yuki-san said. 

I did not disagree, but her answer simply did not feel complete.

Yuki-san had been absent in more ways than one.

Her training was part of it.

Perhaps even most of it.

But I had watched her since I had returned yesterday, and before I had left as well.

There was a noticeable shift in her mood since I training had started.

She seemed worried or slightly on edge before, epically around Buchou.

Now she seemed tired in a way not related to training. 

I looked at her for a moment longer before asking the question that had been growing clearer in me since we entered the room.

“Is it only because of the state?” I asked.

Yuki-san’s eyes lifted to mine.

There was no alarm there yet, only caution.

I kept my tone as gentle as I could.

“Or is the way Buchou was acting when our training started part of the reason too?”

That did it.

Asia-san’s eyes widened.

Xenovia-san’s head tilted as she watched Yuki-san’s reaction.

Yuki-san shifted slightly.

Her eyes moved across each of us like she was deciding whether she had room to evade a question without making the evasion obvious.

I could recognize it easliy enough.

I had done the same thing before. 

Asia-san looked between us and then gave a tiny nod, as though my asking the question had finally given shape to something she had already suspected but had been too kind to say first.

“It… does feel like something happened,” she admitted softly. “Rias-san and Yuki have both been acting stiff around each other.”

“Have they?” Xenovia-san asked.

Yuki-san’s mouth tightened by a fraction.

“They have. For several days,” I added.

That was enough to make it impossible to ignore.

Yuki-san looked away first.

It was enough that I knew I had reached the real issue and not only the edges around it.

“It isn’t important,” she said.

That answer was too fast and something she had used too many times. 

Xenovia-san said what all of us were thinking before I could.

“That is false.”

Yuki-san’s ears twitched once in irritation.

“I didn’t say it was nothing.”

“No,” Xenovia-san replied. “You said it wasn’t important. Those are different lies.”

Asia-san made a tiny sound, not quite a laugh and not quite distress.

I almost smiled, myself.

Yuki-san did not.

She exhaled slowly through her nose and folded her hands in her lap, a gesture that looked composed until one noticed how tightly her fingers had woven together.

“I’m not trying to lie,” she said at last.

“Then tell us,” Xenovia-san said.

There was no cruelty in it.

That was one of the things people often mistook about Xenovia-san.

She could be mercilessly direct without meaning harm by it.

Yuki-san knew that too.

Which was perhaps why she didn’t push back.

Not immediately.

She looked toward the edge of the magic circle instead of at any of us.

When she spoke again, her voice was quieter.

“I did something to make Rias-Buchou uncomfortable.”

Asia-san’s expression softened at once.

I did not interrupt.

Yuki-san continued.

“She’s been avoiding me since.”

The words were controlled.

I could hear how much effort it took her not to say more than that.

“What happened?” I asked.

Her eyes flicked toward me, then away again.

She was not going to answer that directly.

At least not yet.

Perhaps not ever, unless pushed far more harshly than I intended to push her.

“I tried to apologize,” she said instead. “I meant to. I tried to find a chance to speak to her. She avoided that too.”

That part hurt to hear.

Not because I thought Buchou cruel.

Because I knew how much it likely cost Yuki-san to keep approaching after the first refusal, and because Buchou’s own avoidance had been impossible to miss once one looked for it.

I had noticed that it was directed at Yuki-san when Buchou was acting off on the day we started our training.

Asia-san’s hands tightened lightly in her lap.

“Do you want me to talk to Rias-san?” she asked.

The offer came immediately, instinctively, as if she could not hear pain in a friend’s voice without wanting to step in and soften it.

Yuki-san looked at her properly then.

Her expression loosened from the tension that had appeared when Asia-san first asked about Buchou.

“No,” she said.

Asia-san blinked.

“No?”

Yuki-san shook her head once.

“I think she may just need time. Or space. From me.” The last two words came more quietly. “If she doesn’t want to talk yet, then sending someone else to ask for her will probably only make it worse.”

Asia-san looked unconvinced, but also too kind to argue immediately.

I watched Yuki-san more carefully.

She believed that.

Or perhaps believed it because the alternative would require her to imagine that Buchou’s avoidance came from something other than simple discomfort.

That possibility did occur to me, though only faintly and without confidence.

I had my suspicions over what had happened before I had left for my first stretch of training.

The way Buchou had been acting towards Yuki-san and the way Yuki-san had seemed overly concerned with her the day after she had made her suggestion in the bath was too much of a coincidence.

Something had happened between them, and it may be Buchou who was at fault, not Yuki.

But whatever I suspected, Yuki-san did not seem to think Buchou was to blame at all.

Everything in her posture suggested the opposite.

Self-blame. Resignation.

The carefulness of someone who had already decided that it was obvious she was the problem and the best thing she could do was to accept it and ask for forgiveness.

I disliked that a great deal.

Xenovia-san frowned.

“If Buchou is angry, then it would still be better to resolve it quickly.”

Yuki-san’s expression tightened again.

“She might not be angry.”

“Then what is she?”

That caused Yuki-san to pause.

She looked down at her own hands.

I noticed then that she had left faint crescents in her own skin from how tightly she’d been holding them.

“She’s upset,” Yuki-san said after a pause. “Or uncomfortable. Or both.”

“And you know that,” Xenovia-san said, “because?”

Yuki-san was silent too long.

Asia-san shifted closer, not enough to crowd, only enough to make it obvious that if Yuki-san broke in front of us, she would be there for her.

It was natural for Asia-san to want to ease any pain she saw in someone, if she could.

When Yuki-san finally answered, there was strain in it for the first time.

“Because it was my fault.”

There it was again.

Not anger at Buchou.

Self-blame.

Absolute, immediate, and so complete it had probably replaced any other reason in her head as for why Buchou had acted that way.

It made me more worried for her.

She shouldn’t think that the first and only option was that she was the issue.

I kept my voice low.

“What exactly happened?” I asked again. 

I was beginning to think that this issue was hurting both of them more than the other had realized.

Or at least Yuki-san more than Buchou had realized.

Yuki-san shut her eyes for a moment.

When she opened them again, the pain in them was so quiet that I almost would have missed.

But I knew her well enough now to see the cracks in the calm mask she would put up whenever something was wrong.

“It was my fault,” she said again, more softly this time. “That’s all that matters.”

I don’t think it was, but the way she said it made it immediately clear that if we pushed harder right now, she would either shut down entirely or start to answer in a way that would get us to stop answering questions.

Asia-san recognized it too.

So she changed the question instead.

“Then… when Buchou stops avoiding you, you’ll apologize?”

Yuki-san nodded.

“Yes.”

“And until then?”

“I’ll leave her alone.”

The answer came too fast to be newly decided.

She had already chosen this.

Or perhaps chosen it because it was an easier way to protect herself.

I looked at her for another few moments in silence.

She remained composed for all of them.

That only made what slipped through more visible.

The tightness in her mouth.

The way her tails did not move at all.

The effort in her calm.

Since I returned yesterday, Buchou had seemed restless.

Distracted. More on edge.

Avoiding Yuki-san, but it didn’t feel like someone who had simply decided another person was unpleasant to be near.

Yuki-san, on the other hand, looked like someone who had accepted a judgment before hearing it spoken aloud.

I tried once more.

“Yuki-san.”

She looked at me.

“We might be able to help. Can you tell us what happened between you and Buchou?”

Her face changed very slightly.

Not with anger.

With something closer to hurt.

That hurt did not look like it was directed at me, though.

When she spoke, her voice was lower than before.

“Yuuto-san.”

That was all.

It felt like both a warning, and a plea to stop.

Then, after a second, she added, “Please.”

There were many ways I could have answered that.

I chose restraint.

Not because I was satisfied.

But because pushing her any further wouldn’t help anyone.

I had probably pushed her too far already.

So I inclined my head slightly instead.

“Alright.”

The word eased something in her expression, though not much.

Asia-san let out a breath she had probably been holding for half the conversation.

Xenovia-san looked displeased by the lack of resolution but accepted it.

She still watched Yuki-san like she wanted to ask another question.

The silence that followed felt easier than the one before.

It still wasn’t back to normal, but it was better.

Yuki-san gathered herself more fully then and stood.

“I should clean the rest of this properly before Lady Mireia returns and decides I’ve been wasting time,” she said.

It was obvious that she wanted to move further away from the last conversation.

She probably wanted us to leave as well.

Asia-san rose at once. “I’ll help.”

Yuki-san looked as though she wanted to refuse, then thought better of it. “Thank you.”

Xenovia-san stood too.

I followed a heartbeat later, though my thoughts were no longer in the room entirely.

They were with Buchou.

With the way she had been avoiding Yuki-san.

With the way Yuki-san had accepted all blame without once suggesting even the possibility that Buchou’s discomfort might not be her own fault.

With the complete lack of progress being made by either to fix the issue.

This would not fix itself if left alone.

Not if Buchou kept avoiding.

Not if Yuki-san kept stepping back.

I wasn’t going to let something like this hang over people's heads again.

I only wished that my training hadn’t taken me away from the estate.

If I hadn’t left, I would have been able to address this much sooner.

Someone needed to speak to Buchou.

And since Asia-san was too gentle to push, Xenovia-san too blunt to do it without causing collateral damage, Koneko-chan would probably side too much with Yuki-san, Gasper-kun would be too nervous, Ise-kun wasn’t here, and Akeno-san too likely to enjoy the mess in unhelpful ways…

That left me.

As I bent to gather the last of the broken porcelain into a cloth, I made the decision quietly and with more certainty than I had expected to feel.

I needed to talk to Buchou about Yuki-san.

We quickly finished cleaning anything that we had missed in our first time and then Asia-san, Xenovia-san and I got ready to leave.

“Are you sure you are alright, Asia?” Yuki asked as we gathered near the door.

Asia-san smiled warmly at her.

“I really am fine, Yuki. It was an accident, and you’ll get control over your new ability soon. You don’t need to worry about it. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Yuki-san didn’t look fully convinced, but she nodded anyway.

“I’ll continue practicing. I won’t let something like that happen again.” She said.

Asia-san looked concerned that she was still blaming herself for what had happened.

The three of us said our goodbyes and left her training room.

Xenovia-san and Asia-san went to go check on some of the other members of the peerage.

They wanted to see how everyone else’s training was coming and how they were.

I went back to finish my own training for the day.

Once I had finished, I would pay Buchou a visit.

It would give me time to think of what I wanted to say and how to best approach it.

Things had gotten better between Buchou and Yuki-san again after the fallout from when Gasper-kun’s room was unsealed.

And now things may be getting worse again.

Yuki-san had tried to fix the issue by approaching Rias-Buchou, but Buchou hadn't let her. 

Now I was going to have to talk to Buchou, since it seemed like she was just going to sit and wait until something happened.

I reached my own training area and grabbed a practice sword.

I would finish my training early, and then go to Buchou and put this matter to bed.

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