Rias
“What happened between you and Kusari-san?”
I froze hearing Issei’s question.
We had been talking about the Indians sight of Kusari turning Akeno’s teasing around on her and leaving her helpless.
I had brought up that Kusari acting so relaxed with us and not freezing in a more intimate action was a good sign.
Issei was teasing me for getting jealous of the idea that Kusari was yet another girl trying to get his attention.
And now Issei had asked a question that would lead to a conversation I wasn’t sure I could have yet.
The room was quiet.
He was looking up at me from my lap waiting for a response.
My hand that had been running through his hair had gone still.
I thought for a moment longer on exactly how much was mine to share.
“She and I talked,” I said at last.
“About what, exactly?”
“About her,” I answered.
He waited for me to continue.
That wasn’t enough of an answer and I knew it.
“We talked about her past. About the kind of life she had before she came into my peerage.”
I could tell that even with how calmly I tried to say it Ise realized that it was something heavy.
“So that’s what you were talking about after our Devil work?” He asked.
“Yes. We spoke about it two different times.”
“Was it just between the two of you?”
I smiled at him faintly.
“Yes, Ise. Just the two of us.”
I knew that he was curious and wanted to know more than I was going to give.
He wasn’t doing it to pry.
She was a member of our peerage. A comrade.
He cared about her and wanted to do what he could to fix whatever issues she had.
But this wasn’t something that honest sincerity, loud declarations, and punching a bad guy would fix.
This was much a more delicate issue than Issei had dealt with before.
Than any of us had.
I don’t know if it was something that could be fixed.
I only knew that she needed time and that we would be there for her.
Ise must have realized I wasn’t going to tell him more.
“Did it have something to do with the fight at the school?” He asked.
I must have reacted slightly because he noticed something.
He’d managed to guess part of it.
He must have noticed how I had acted after the fight, or how I would look at Kusari occasionally with more concern than before now.
“Yes,”
I replied and was lost in the memory of that day for a moment.
Kokabiel above us.
The barrier around the fight.
The holy sword shattering.
Yuuto’s holy demonic blade.
Valper’s corpse laying forgotten.
The reveal of God’s death.
My peerage struggling around me in a fight we couldn’t win.
Kusari coming to me to tell me her plan.
“What happened?” Ise asked.
I exhaled slowly after being pulled out of my memories by his question.
Ise had been thinking for a moment before he had asked, so he didn’t notice my distraction.
I decided that this much, I could tell him.
Kusari and I should tell the rest of the peerage what almost happened.
“During the fight with Kokabiel,” I said, “Kusari asked me to let her stay behind.”
He froze in my lap.
His mouth was half open in response as I watched him realize exactly what that meant.
I continued, “She wanted to hold him off, long enough for the rest of us to escape.”
Ise looked shocked and then angry at the idea of it.
“She really meant it,” he said quietly.
“Yes. And she knew exactly what it meant.”
There was no need to try and soften it for him.
“She believed she was the only one who could buy us enough time, and.... She almost convinced me.”
It was painful to admit that I had almost gone along with her plan.
Ise stared at me in disbelief.
I had to look away from him for a moment.
I stared at the far corner of the room as I continued.
“If Vali hadn’t arrived when he did, I don’t know whether I would said yes to her plan or not.”
He breathed in sharply.
It had been close.
Too close.
I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t know if I could have told her no.
I hated that I was about to agree to tell her to die for us.
“Buchou...” Ise’s voice came out rough.
I was struggling to keep a calm expression.
“She was calm about it. Too calm. She spoke as if it were practical. Necessary. As if offering herself up like that was simply the cleanest solution.”
Ise didn’t interrupt.
He just waited for me to finish telling him everything.
“I didn’t let her,” I said more hoarsely then I would have liked. “But the fact that she asked at all… I needed to talk to her afterward to make sure I had understood that moment correctly. That was part of why we talked.”
Ise looked lost as he waters up at me, at the ceiling of his room.
I understood what he was probably thinking.
That he could imagine Kusari telling me that it needed to happen.
Like it was the obvious and reasonable choice to leave her alone on that battlefield.
That she had already accepted that if someone had to be left there, of course it would be her.
“She really thought you might let her,”
“Yes. And I almost did. That’s the part that I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”
I didn’t know what more I could say
The room was silent again.
Ise was looking at my face trying to put something more together than what I had already told him.
But that was everything.
At least in regards to what happened during the fight with Kokabiel.
It was why I had been watching her more closely recently.
Why things had been different recently between us.
Not easier.
But more understanding of each other, perhaps.
It’s also why I had been more on edge when Onii-sama was here and stayed at Ise’s home.
Things between us were already tense regarding Kusari from him pulling her from my peerage and placing restrictions on how I handled my peerage.
But knowing more about her past had made me more disgusted with his actions towards her.
“So that’s why you’ve both been acting different,” Ise finally said.
I chuckled quietly
“Yes that’s part of it.”
I looked down at him in my lap again.
“She told me things about herself too. About her past. About how she was treated. But those are hers to tell, not mine.” I said.
He nodded slowly.
I could tell that he wasn’t satisfied with not knowing but understood that it wasn’t something that he should hear from me.
It showed how sincere he was towards us that he didn’t complain or demand and explanation like he would have for something else.
“I’m not asking for all of it, but I want to know more. I need to know what I can do to help” he said.
I looked at him for a moment before smiling.
That was exactly how my Ise should be.
“I know.”
He exhaled slowly and shut his eyes.
When he opened them he spoke again.
“I still don’t like that she thought like that.”
“Neither do I.”
“I really don’t like it.”
“I know, Ise.”
I started to run my hand through his hair again.
“She wanted to do what she thought was the best. For us.” I said
Ise didn’t say anything for a while.
Then, because he couldn’t help but give me grief.
“But you really think Kusari-san did that with Akeno-san to get my attention?”
It took me a moment to realize what he said
Then I sighed tiredly and looked down at him.
“You’re still not letting that go?”
He shook his head while trying not to smirk.
“I think Kusari is more aware of the effect she can have than she used to be,” she said.
“That’s not exactly an answer.”
“It is the answer you’re getting.”
He laughed a little.
That made me pinch his cheeks again.
“Stop that.”
“But you said-“
“Ise.”
“I’m just saying!”
“You are saying too much.”
I knew that I was blushing again because he was smiling like he had won something.
I would have to make sure that he knew that he wasn’t supposed to be the one doing the teasing.
Maybe I should increase his training regiment or give him some of the more annoying contracts for Devil work….
As I planned Ise’s punishment while he was blissfully unaware we settled into silence.
The goofy atmosphere that he had made to help us relax had started to thin.
When it did the room felt heavier than it had before.
I started out the window at the cloudy night sky.
I had wanted to help him relax after running into Vali today.
Now we were both thinking about Kusari and the horrible things that may have happened to her and what had almost happened.
When Ise finally spoke it was more subdued and softer.
“Buchou, if Kusari really had almost convinced you...”
I looked back down to him again.
“Yes?”
“I’m glad Vali showed up.”
I was quiet for a moment after he said that.
“So am I,” I said quietly.
I looked back out the window and continued to comb through his hair with my fingers.
Even if Vali was supposed to be Ise’s destined rival and even if they would one day fight to the death like every Sekiryuuti and Hakuryuukou before them, I was happy that he had arrived when he did that day.
If he hadn’t then I may have done something I would regret for the rest of my life and my peerage would feel emptier with one less person in it.
All I wanted was for us to have peace.
For my peerage to be given the time a space they needed to grow into the Devils they were meant to be.
They were all hurt and damaged people, but they were family.
I wanted the best for them and I knew that they would each fight for each other with everything they had.
The day caught up with Ise as he laid in my lap and we quietly existed in each other's company.
Today was too eventful for what was supposed to be a simple day.
The pool cleaning.
Kusari bullying Akeno.
Xenovia’s ridiculous demand and Asia adding fuel onto the fire at Kusari’s expense.
Vali the Hakuryuukou
Explaining to Issei what Kusari planned to do against Kokabiel.
Everything.
I could tell that Ise was drifting off in my lap.
“Sleep, Ise.” I gently said.
His breathing evened out a few minutes later and he was asleep.
I sat there for a while.
I watched my Ise sleeping.
I looked around the room that I had become so familiar with.
I looked out the window and caught a glimpse of the moon and stars when the clouds parted.
It was quiet and still.
Ise always looked younger when he slept.
More innocent and less like the energetic boy he was.
Softer in a way he never let himself be while awake unless he was openly showing worry or trust.
I kept my hand in his hair.
Partly because it soothed him.
Partly because it soothed me too.
My gaze lowered.
I thought about Kusari again.
Today she had done exactly what Akeno never expected.
Akeno had tried to use her as part of our usual fight over Ise.
And Kusari had turned it back on her with that cold little smile and complete, merciless control.
Kusari wasn’t foolish.
Issei had poked fun at me for getting jealous but I don't think it was as simple as he thought.
She knew Ise was watching.
She must have known I was watching too.
She knew exactly what she looked like at that moment.
And part of me could not stop thinking that maybe she had known that very well and decided to use it.
To turn Akeno’s teasing around on her.
To get under my skin by showing off for Ise.
To seize Ise’s attention for herself too.
That thought should have explained everything.
It was simple enough.
Akeno and I already competed for him in our own way.
If Kusari had inserted herself into that dynamic, then of course it would stay with me.
Of course I would feel unsettled.
She was another pretty girl near my Ise.
So of course I would start wondering if she intended to go after him as well.
It was logical.
Also annoying.
And yet…
When I closed my eyes, it was not only the idea of competition or annoyance at the idea that I had more girls to deal with that stayed with me.
It was the smile.
That cold, dangerous little smile she had worn before she laid her hands on Akeno.
And the other one.
The one in the clubroom.
The one she had given me after telling me, with that same awful composure, that she would have held Kokabiel back long enough for all of us to escape.
The one she wore while trying to soothe me with a lie.
Two different smiles.
One colder. One softer.
Neither of them honest enough for what was underneath.
That was what I could not stop thinking about.
I told myself again that this was simply the shape of a new rival dynamic.
That Akeno and I had always teased each other over Ise, that I competed with Asia at home, that Xenovia was another new problem for me with her direct ask for a child, and now Kusari had stepped into that space in a way I had not expected.
That was all.
That had to be all.
But even sitting there in the quiet with Ise asleep in my lap and the room dark around us, I found that no matter how I tried to explain it away.
I kept thinking of Kusari’s smile.
And the more I tried not to, the more clearly I saw it.
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