Immortal Druid

It had been over a week since Li Qing, Guo Yupin, and Ding Yahui came to visit me. Ever since then, I had been eagerly waiting for those mysterious pills like a good little druid. Unfortunately, good behavior did not make time move faster. If anything, it only made me painfully aware of how slow the days were passing.

Since there was little else I could do, I decided to take my literature and language studies more seriously. That naturally meant spending more time at Zhen Ai’s treehouse, where she patiently drilled characters into my head while pretending not to notice how often I tried escaping through the window.

“You finally wrote that character correctly,” Zhen Ai said with visible surprise as she inspected my practice sheet. “At this rate, perhaps you may become literate before Tao Wolong reaches adulthood.”

I proudly straightened my back. “See? I’ve always been talented.”

Across the table, Tao Wolong groaned dramatically and dropped his face against the wood. “Godfather changed,” the boy complained. “You used to be fun. Now you’re just boring.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Education is important. You should take it seriously.”

The little brat immediately pointed at me. “That’s rich coming from you! Not long ago, whenever Mother told you to study, you were the first to run away or hide behind trees!”

“You little runt, I’m plenty educated,” I scoffed. “You don’t even know what a spreadsheet is.”

Before he could flee, I lunged forward and caught him under the arm. Tao Wolong yelped as I rubbed his head mercilessly, messing up his hair until he looked like an angry bird nest.

Honestly, when did he grow this much? It felt like only yesterday he was wobbling around and biting random furniture. Now the kid had developed attitude.

“I’m serious!” Tao Wolong shouted while struggling in my grasp. “You’re such a loser! Let me go already!”

The little demon somehow twisted out of my hold using a movement technique that absolutely should not have belonged to a child his age. He leaped onto a higher branch with surprising agility before crouching there triumphantly.

I blinked upward. “Who taught you that?”

“Bleeh!” Tao Wolong stuck his tongue out at me and pulled one eyelid down. “Too slow, old man!”

I crossed my arms. “Do you even know your numbers? Do you even know what an old man is?”

“What’s a number?” he asked without shame.

Then the boy puffed out his chest and began proudly cussing at me with words he absolutely should not have known at his age.

“I’m gonna become the strongest dragon under the heavens!” he declared. “One day, you’ll be honored to be my godfather! You’ll have to talk to me respectfully!”

I stared at him in disbelief.

Seriously?

Where did this kid get such rude streaks from?

Was it Roo?

…No way, right?

“Tao Wolong!” Zhen Ai snapped, finally losing patience. “Get down here this instant!”

Instead of obeying, the little menace turned around, tugged his pants down slightly, and showed me his bum.

“Catch me first!” he shouted.

“Oh, you little—”

I used phytokinesis and subtly manipulated the branch beneath him. The wood shifted just enough for the boy to lose balance.

“Aaaah—!”

Thud.

“Ouch!” Tao Wolong cried as he crashed onto the lower platform.

Zhen Ai immediately rose in alarm. “Wolong!”

“We’re just playing around,” I quickly assured her while trying not to laugh.

The boy stood up, fixed his clothes, and then coughed into his fist with exaggerated dignity. He straightened his posture and spoke in what I assumed he believed was a refined scholar’s tone.

“Mother, there is no need for concern,” Tao Wolong announced solemnly. “We were merely engaging in friendly play. If this disciple were to unleash his martial arts upon Godfather, he would surely be pulverized where he stood.”

I almost choked.

Oh, he was adorable.

Unfortunately for him, Zhen Ai was not nearly as amused.

She grabbed the boy by the ear before pulling him close and spanking him repeatedly.

“Ow! Ow! Mother! Mercy!”

“How dare you speak to your godfather like that?” Zhen Ai scolded furiously. “And before the Master of the Forest no less!”

“I surrender! I surrender!”

At that exact moment, Roo climbed onto the treehouse platform and pointed dramatically toward us.

“DON’T TOUCH MY DISCIPLE—!”

“IT’S YOU!” Zhen Ai exploded. “YOU’VE BEEN TEACHING MY SON STRANGE THINGS, YOU BIPEDAL RAT!”

“A kangaroo,” I softly and hesitantly corrected.

Unfortunately, that was the worst possible timing.

An overwhelming killing intent burst from Zhen Ai so violently that the entire forest trembled. Leaves shook loose from nearby trees while spiritual pressure rolled through the surroundings like a storm tide.

I blinked.

Roo was visibly at Core Formation now.

It was impressive. The kangaroo had clearly been training hard.

The problem was that Zhen Ai was a Nascent Soul dragon.

“From this day onward,” Zhen Ai declared coldly, “we shall be having rat for dinner!”

Azure light exploded around her body as she transformed into an enormous dragon that nearly blotted out the canopy overhead. Her scales shimmered brilliantly beneath the sunlight while spiritual energy churned violently around her claws.

Roo instantly panicked.

“WAIT, LET’S TALK ABOUT THI—AAAAAH!”

The kangaroo dove toward the earth and merged into the ground using a strange elemental technique. The soil rippled as he escaped underground at frightening speed.

Unfortunately for him, Zhen Ai was relentless.

The massive dragon slammed her claws into the earth repeatedly, tearing apart entire sections of forest while tracking Roo’s spiritual signature with terrifying precision.

“SHE’S STILL FOLLOWING ME?!” Roo’s distant scream echoed from underground.

“COME BACK HERE, RODENT!”

Trees toppled. The ground exploded. Birds fled in terror.

Beside me, Tao Wolong had gone pale as a sheet.

I patted the boy gently on the shoulder. “Try not to stress your mother so much.”

He nodded weakly.

Honestly though, I could understand how Tao Wolong ended up getting acquainted with Roo. There really weren’t any children around his age in the forest, and Roo’s energy was… well…

Fun.

Chaotic, stupid, dangerous fun.

Yeah. That was probably how the two bonded.

Suddenly, Tao Wolong dropped to his knees.

“But what about my salmon?” he whispered despairingly.

I frowned. “Wait, what?”

The boy looked devastated. “Master Roo said he’d tell me your weakness if I became his disciple and gave him my salmon.”

I slowly covered my face with one hand.

…That damn kangaroo.

Did he seriously scam a child?

I let out a long sigh while watching Zhen Ai rampage across the forest in pursuit of her prey. Entire sections of earth continued erupting in the distance while Roo screamed for mercy somewhere underground.

At that point, I decided it was best to let her vent things out.

I would just fix the destruction later.

In the end, after Zhen Ai vented her stress and finally caught the kangaroo, I decided to step in and spare Roo from an early grave.

As strange as the marsupial was, he actually played a unique role in the forest. Roo made for an absurdly effective guard dog against wandering cultivators with bad intentions. The moment some arrogant young master wandered too deep into the woods and started causing trouble, the kangaroo would somehow appear from nowhere and begin demanding a duel.

More often than not, the cultivators fled.

The truly bizarre part was that Roo also had a habit of preserving endangered species within the forest. Every time he sensed a species declining too much, he would personally interfere to protect it.

According to him, it was all for the sake of future battle potential.

“If the species goes extinct,” Roo once explained proudly, “then there will be nobody left for awesome heart-pounding duels!”

Honestly, I still did not know whether the kangaroo was wise or insane.

Probably both.

I looked at the bruised marsupial currently restrained by thick roots while half-buried in dirt.

“Stop giving Tao Wolong strange ideas,” I warned him.

Roo blinked at me.

“What’s an idea?”

I stared at him in silence.

…Speechless.

Behind me, Zhen Ai stood with crossed arms while Tao Wolong angrily pointed toward the imprisoned kangaroo.

“Where’s my fish!?”

Roo looked away awkwardly. “It returned to nature.”

The boy looked genuinely devastated.

For a moment, it honestly seemed like Tao Wolong was about to cry.

Zhen Ai sighed helplessly before patting her son’s head. “Come, come, Wolong. Mother shall simply catch you another one.”

The boy sniffed miserably before following after her.

Once the two were gone, I released the roots binding Roo and cast Lifepulse. Gentle green light spread across his bruises as the injuries rapidly healed.

Roo immediately flexed both arms.

“Awesome!” he declared. “I feel incredible! Wo Li! Duel me!”

Bonk.

My staff hit his head before I even consciously decided to move.

The kangaroo dropped unconscious onto the ground.

“…Ah, sorry.”

I scratched my cheek awkwardly.

My reflexes had responded on their own.

Feeling slightly guilty, I grabbed Roo and slung him over my shoulder. I cast another Lifepulse just in case the hit made him even stupider somehow.

That would have been catastrophic.

I wandered deeper through the forest until I reached the lakeside clearing. Zhen Ai was already there, crouched beside gathered firewood while Tao Wolong happily sat nearby with sparkling eyes.

The dragon woman had expertly pierced a salmon with a sharpened stick and handed it to her son. Zhen Ai casually ignited the bonfire with dragon breath as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

Tao Wolong happily held the fish above the flames.

I dropped Roo onto the grass with a soft thud.

“Zhen Ai,” I said, “could you educate the kangaroo a little? Teach him letters. Manners too. Maybe character while you’re at it.”

Zhen Ai visibly winced.

She looked at Roo the same way someone might look at a moldy vegetable.

“…Must I?”

“I think Roo is smarter and wiser than he looks,” I said honestly. “He’s just bent crooked.”

That was genuinely the best description I could come up with.

Zhen Ai remained silent for a while before reluctantly sighing.

“…Very well.”

Then she glanced at me. “Would you like to join us?”

“Sure.”

Without hesitation, Zhen Ai removed her robes and stored them inside her ring before transforming into an azure dragon. Her massive form slid gracefully into the lake with barely a splash.

A few moments later, she emerged holding another fish between her jaws.

The entire process was absurdly seamless. Dragons were unfair. After returning to shore and transforming back into human form, she suddenly spoke while handing me the fish respectfully. “Perhaps… you could teach Wolong and me numbers someday,” she said. “I can only count to ten.”

“That’s fine,” I replied while accepting the fish. “I can teach you. Though honestly, I don’t know about the characters of numbers, so my numbers might be… er… unorthodox…”

That statement would have sounded incredibly embarrassing back on Earth.

Zhen Ai quietly clothed herself before sitting beside her son.

Tao Wolong frowned at his fish. “I don’t really like the guts.”

“Hey, me too.”

His fish was not fully cooked yet anyway, so it should be fine.

I raised one finger.

“Raindrop Edge.”

A tiny droplet of water floated above my fingertip before condensing into an impossibly thin blade. I carefully guided it through the fish’s stomach with precise control, neatly opening the belly without damaging the flesh.

Then I flicked my finger.

The scales burst off the fish in one clean motion with a sharp jerk of qi.

“Wow,” Tao Wolong uttered in amazement.

I smirked slightly. “I’m not done yet.”

“Water Ball.”

A small sphere of water formed inside the fish’s cavity and floated outward, carrying the guts with it cleanly and neatly.

Tao Wolong’s eyes widened.

I repeated the process with my own fish before using phytokinesis to bury the mess beneath the soil. Afterward, I skewered my fish on a stick and held it above the flames.

Ah, food.

One of the few entertainments I still truly had left in this world.

I glanced toward Zhen Ai. “What about you?”

“I prefer my fish raw,” she answered softly. “And… I would feel embarrassed if you watched me eating.”

“…Okay?”

Even as she said those words, her face visibly reddened while she avoided my gaze. I genuinely did not understand what there was to be embarrassed about.

Tao Wolong happily swung his legs while watching the fire crackle beneath the fish.

Then the boy suddenly looked at me curiously.

“Godfather,” he asked, “what was your old world like? Can you tell me more about it? You make it sound so interesting, when you tell your stories to Old Black.”

I paused slightly.

“Well…” I slowly began, “I used to work in a company.”

Tao Wolong tilted his head. “What’s a company?”

“A place where large groups of people work together to earn money.”

“What kind of work?”

I stared at the flames for a moment while trying to think of the least depressing explanation possible.

“I mostly dealt with spreadsheets,” I admitted. “Documents filled with numbers and information. Organizing data. Reports. Budgets. Schedules. Things like that.”

Tao Wolong blinked at me.

“That sounds boring.”

“…Yeah,” I admitted honestly. “It kind of was.”

The boy immediately burst into laughter while pointing at me.

“Hah! Godfather fought papers instead of cultivators!”

“That’s not entirely inaccurate.”

I could not even defend myself there.

Still, despite Tao Wolong’s complete lack of interest, Zhen Ai looked fascinated by every word I said. Her golden eyes remained fixed on me quietly as though she were trying to imagine such a world.

“A world without sects…” she murmured softly. “Without cultivators… without clans…”

“Well, there were still organizations and powerful people,” I clarified. “Just different kinds.”

Tao Wolong looked horrified. “Then how do people become strong?”

“Education. Wealth. Influence. Connections. Hard work. Sometimes luck.”

“…That sounds terrible.”

“It absolutely was sometimes.”

Zhen Ai remained thoughtful for a while before speaking carefully.

“If you ever returned home…” she hesitated slightly, “…could Wolong and I come with you?”

I nearly choked on my fish.

“What?”

The image that suddenly entered my head was so absurd that my brain completely stalled.

Zhen Ai and Tao Wolong in modern Earth.

A dragon mother shopping for groceries.

Tao Wolong committing crimes inside a convenience store.

Roo getting arrested in public after challenging construction workers to honorable duels. Wait, let’s forget about Roo. That kangaroo could stay here.

Still, my soul almost left my body.

“I mean…” I rubbed my forehead awkwardly. “First of all, I don’t even know if I can return home.”

That alone was already a gigantic problem.

Still, as ridiculous as the idea initially sounded, I slowly began understanding why she asked. Compared to the suffering she endured from her clan and the sect that hunted her, Earth probably sounded like some kind of peaceful paradise.

Unfortunately…

“That world isn’t as nice as it sounds,” I warned her. “It has its own challenges.”

Zhen Ai blinked. “Such as?”

I looked at her seriously.

“Capitalism.”

Silence fell.

A cold breeze passed through the lakeside.

Even the bonfire crackled ominously.

Tao Wolong frowned. “What’s capitalism?”

I pointed dramatically into the distance.

“Imagine a world where people suffer spiritually for pieces of paper.”

The boy gasped.

Zhen Ai looked alarmed.

“And houses cost fortunes,” I continued gravely. “Food prices rise endlessly. People work exhausting jobs for decades. Then they distract themselves with entertainment because reality is painful.”

The dragon mother slowly paled.

“…A demonic realm,” she whispered.

“Pretty much.”

Honestly, explaining modern economics to cultivators somehow made my old world sound way scarier than this one.

I finished my fish and stood up while dusting my clothes lightly.

“Well, I should probably go repair the destruction near your treehouse.”

Zhen Ai visibly winced in embarrassment.

“…I apologize.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “Next time, try practicing a little restraint.”

Then I glanced toward the unconscious kangaroo nearby.

“…Though honestly, this was probably a valuable lesson for him.”

“What lesson?”

Roo suddenly opened one eye while sounding genuinely confused.

I stared at him.

Zhen Ai stared at him.

Even Tao Wolong stared at him.

The kangaroo blinked innocently back at us.

“…Yeeeaah,” I slowly muttered. “This one might need tougher education than I thought.”

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