Invincible Snake Emperor

Chapter 635: Chapter 603: A Man and a Snake Discussing the Dao Over Tea?

Honestly, Tu Xiao’an was so disgusted by this old man’s dirty tricks that he felt like spitting up a mouthful of blood.

’You want a damn snake to drink tea? The hell I will! You expect me to lick it up with my forked tongue?’

’Where would that leave my dignity as the Snake King?’

And yet, the Vice Dean was playing the part of a perfect host, all grace and courtesy. He gazed at the exquisite little snake before the tea set with a sincere look, as if he were treating him as a person.

"You don’t hit a smiling face," as the saying goes. Tu Xiao’an wouldn’t bow to anyone, but right now, he had to hand it to this old man.

’What now? You actually want to discuss philosophy over tea with me, a snake?’

The old man had probably witnessed Tu Xiao’an’s divine might in the fallen district. He knew in his heart that he couldn’t actually defeat this Snake Demon in a real fight right now.

So he settled for the next best thing: pissing him off.

After all, in this world, a punch was never what hurt the most.

A psychological attack was how you killed without drawing blood.

Tu Xiao’an took a deep breath. ’Calm down. I can’t let this damned old man make a fool of me. Stay composed. What kind of situation haven’t I seen? I wasn’t even afraid of the Deep Mountain Demon King, so why would I be scared of this old coot’s mind games?’

He was going to see just what kind of trick the old man was playing.

Just then, Tu Xiao’an’s demonic Snake Gaze flickered toward the tea the Vice Dean had brewed. His eyes narrowed slightly. As if it had awakened, the teacup magically flew into the air, hovered over the little snake’s head, and then tipped over, pouring its contents downward.

The exquisite little snake, Tu Xiao’an, opened his mouth wide and drank every last drop of tea from the cup without spilling any.

’What is this nonsense? Did you think this would stump me, the Snake King? Heh...!’

"Amazing, truly amazing! Such fine Telekinesis. This old man has truly seen something new today," the Vice Dean said with a smile.

"Hey, old man, can you stop being so disgusting and fake?" Tu Xiao’an couldn’t help but retort. It was just a minor trick. What was there to be impressed about?

He could do that even when he was just a First Rank Awakened Snake.

The Vice Dean didn’t get angry. He calmly and composedly said, "Do you know why this old man invited you, a snake, for tea?"

’Inviting a snake for tea? You, old man, must be the first in all of history to do something so stupid.’ Tu Xiao’an couldn’t even be bothered to answer such a moronic question.

’Who the hell knows if you got your brain squashed in a door today or something.’

"Because in my eyes, you, snake, are too impetuous. Your murderous aura is too strong. Tea is a good thing. It can make your heart like a clear mirror, reflecting your Vengeful Spirit and Evil Qi, thereby calming your mind like still water," the Vice Dean lectured eloquently, striking the pose of a great master.

Hearing this, Tu Xiao’an, sitting opposite him, looked completely baffled and lost. He said flatly, "Who was it that was just flying into a rage, yelling about wanting to go three hundred rounds with this King? Was that your twin brother, perhaps?"

COUGH... COUGH...!

The Vice Dean’s composure broke, and he started coughing. "This old man was merely anxious about my granddaughter just now. My apologies for the discourtesy."

’Give me a break. As if I don’t know what kind of person you are, you wretched old man. Vicious to the core. What’s with the act, pretending to be some otherworldly master? Besides, isn’t it a little late for that?’

’It’s not like this is the first time we’ve met. Is this really necessary?’

But the Vice Dean seemed to be enjoying the role he was playing, and he even showed signs of getting lost in it, unable to pull himself out.

Tu Xiao’an was worried the man would get too deep into character and lose himself.

The old man started his act again. He coughed once more, sat up straight, and put on the profound smile of an elder. "Tea is truly a wonderful thing. If this old man had only ten minutes to live and you asked what I would want to do, I would say: go drink tea."

Huh? Tu Xiao’an sucked in a sharp breath. He finally got it. He understood.

"How much for this tea? I’ll buy it. I’ll take as much as you have." ’So this whole time, he was just a tea salesman! It seems this Vice Dean has another identity: a part-time tea promoter, advancing the tea culture of Wencheng City.’

’You should have just said so! All these twists and turns, all this flashy nonsense... what a waste of effort. You almost had me completely confused.’

PFFT... The Vice Dean coughed violently and bellowed, "You snake are simply incorrigible! This is like casting pearls before swine! This child cannot be taught!"

Heh heh...

Tu Xiao’an just laughed. ’You insist on talking about tea with a snake. Are you sick in the head?’

’Did you forget to take your meds after breakfast?’

"This old man wanted to have a proper discussion with you, snake! That’s why I went to such great lengths to treat you like a gentleman! You are simply ungrateful! To think you’d mistake me for a tea merchant! You’re infuriating me!"

The Vice Dean was furious now, feeling deeply humiliated.

"Old man, if you want to talk business, then let’s talk business. Get to the point. This Snake King will cooperate. But here you are, making me drink tea and lecturing me about tea culture. Look at you, showing off."

’If I don’t treat you like a tea salesman, what else am I supposed to think? That you really want to discuss philosophy over tea with a snake?’

’What kind of philosophy could the two of us possibly discuss?’

Huaxia People had this bad habit. Before getting to any real business, they never went straight to the point. They had to go through a whole dawdling process first.

Now Tu Xiao’an understood. The old man’s long speech about tea was just an opening act; he wasn’t actually selling it.

That was a relief. For a moment there, Tu Xiao’an was scared the old man had bought this villa with money earned from selling tea.

If his family was really in such dire straits, Tu Xiao’an would, at most, prepare a larger betrothal gift for the old man in the future.

Tu Xiao’an was rich now! He was the magnificent King of the Snake Clan, ruler of all snakes, master of the Snake Palace. His status was countless times more noble than that of an ancient Emperor.

"You brat! You’re going to be the death of me!" The Vice Dean took a sudden gulp of tea to calm his nerves. His peaceful and composed demeanor was finally shattered by Tu Xiao’an.

Tu Xiao’an said with a smile, "Old man, if you have something to say, spit it out. I’m quite busy."

"Fine. Then this old man won’t speak in riddles any longer." The Vice Dean paused for a moment, then continued, "Speaking of which, ever since I first saw you, a snake who achieved Transformation at only Rank Two, I have been astounded. Utterly amazed, even."

"And you, a mere Rank Two snake, possessed multiple Elemental Abilities. That is heaven-defying! You must understand, even the most gifted human geniuses can only comprehend a single Elemental Ability. I knew back then that you were not a creature meant for a small pond, that you would one day soar to the heavens, rising ninety thousand li into the sky."

"But in the end, I still underestimated your potential. In just a short time, you became the King of the Snake Clan in the Yaoling Mountain Range, and your Cultivation reached the Demon King Level. Looking through all of history, among all the cultivating beings in the world, none can compare to you."

The Vice Dean stared intently at the exquisite little snake. "To be frank, sometimes I even suspect you’re the reincarnation of an Ancient Demon. It’s too terrifying."

’He switched tactics? Now he’s moved on to flattery?’

’This old man must want something from me. There’s no other reason he’d be like this.’ Tu Xiao’an mentally put his guard up.

Last time, the old man had tricked him into going to the Yaoling Mountain Range with just a few words.

’He sent me, a Rank Two, to face the Deep Mountain Demon King. Now that I’m a Demon King, I’ll have to face a Rank Four Divine Spirit at the very least, right?’

’Kill the Ancient Taotie? But I already agreed to go.’

’I was planning on killing it anyway.’

"Old man, since I’m so badass, does this mean you’ve finally come to your senses and decided to betroth your precious granddaughter to me?" Tu Xiao’an looked at him expectantly, refusing to fall for the trap.

He’d just reunited with his mom, and she was overjoyed. If he could find her a daughter-in-law, she’d be ecstatic.

But speaking of a daughter-in-law, the face that strangely appeared in Tu Xiao’an’s mind was the bewitching, beautiful, and utterly stunning face of Luo Ziyun.

’Wouldn’t it be even better if I could marry both of them?’

’As the current King of the Snake Clan, with my own Snake Palace, forget about a harem of three thousand beauties—marrying just two isn’t asking too much, right?’

The problem was, Tu Xiao’an hadn’t even secured one yet. With Su Rushi, there was this stubborn old coot making trouble. And Luo Ziyun’s situation was even more complicated.

Even if the man is willing and the woman is interested, it would be difficult for them to be together.

After all, Tu Xiao’an had, on impulse, killed Luo Ziyun’s adoptive father.

With that one act, their five-hundred-year bond of fate was severed.

They say that for two people to be together, they need fate. Without it, they are destined to meet but not to be together.

But Tu Xiao’an didn’t believe in that. He believed that man could conquer destiny. In his case, it was that a snake could conquer destiny.

He was sure he could do anything he set his mind to. What could be more legendary than him being reborn as a snake and clawing his way to where he was now, all on his own?

However, when it came to real feelings, Tu Xiao’an was like an innocent young boy with no experience. He didn’t even know who he truly liked.

It seemed he liked them both.

’But... is it really okay for a snake to be so fickle?’

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