Knot The One They Want

Lorali Pov

I stretched, my muscles groaning as I slowly pulled myself out of the deep fog of sleep. Glancing toward the window, the dark, muted hues of the evening sky caught me off guard, the sun was already gone.

I actually slept the whole damn day.

​Sliding off the bed, my feet hit the cold floor as I made my way toward the kitchen. It felt eerie. I couldn’t see a single member of the Spade pack, yet I knew every last one of them was here, even Oril.

Their scents clung heavily to the air, I wonder where they are. But I shoved the thought down. I didn’t care where they were, just like they didn’t care enough to fetch me from the hospital.

​When I reached the kitchen, my stomach demanded attention. I threw open the pantry, checked the fridge, and rummaged through every cabinet I could reach, only to find absolutely nothing. Not a single morsel of food.

I am genuinely losing my mind over the sheer emptiness of the place, so hyper-focused on my frustration that I completely failed to notice Walter, until his voice broke the quiet.

​"Lorali?.... Is.. that you."

​I turn my head towards Walter, who stood on the other side of the island looking like a bigger mess than I ever had, with bags under his eyes, a tear-stricken face, and tangled hair. It’s weird that he looks so bad; I’m the one who should look bad after the night I had.

​"No.. it’s the ghost of Christmas eve," I remark sarcastically.

​Who else would it be? No one else looks like me, what a dumbass question. Now how am I supposed to get food? I should have eaten the noodles Astrid offered; at least I wouldn’t be so damn hungry right now.

​"I di..didn’t know you’re back. How did you get back?"

​Why is he talking? In fact, why is he still here? I’m pretty sure everyone should be avoiding me like the plague after what happened the last time we met. ​I ignore his question, already moving out of the kitchen and away from him. There is nothing of value in that kitchen anyway.

But suddenly, I feel a warm hand envelop my wrist. I pause and look backward. Walter is standing there, holding my wrist.

​"What are you doing?" ​I lift a brow, looking down at my wrist and then back up to him, not believing his audacity.

How dare he touch me. My blood boils at the contact. I’m going to punch his perfect little face if he doesn’t let me go. "Lorali, I’m sorry!" Walter shouts, closing his eyes and gripping my hand harder.

"For holding my hand?" I question, my tone sharp.

"No. Yes. I mean..." He stutters, breathless, though from what I couldn’t tell you. "I’m sorry for everything. For the way me and my pack treated you. I feel really bad. I didn’t know you were my mate. I couldn’t feel anything—even now I can’t feel anything—but I know from Torin that you are my fated, and I’m sorry for everything."

He moves closer in the blink of an eye, grabbing my hand and joining our fingers together. "But now that I know we are fated, we can be a pack. You can be in Spade.

I won’t complain. In fact, it’s what I want. I know you don’t want to be in Spade, and that you probably hate me, but I promise that with time, if we work hard enough, we’ll earn your forgiveness. We’ll both be Pack Spade’s Omega."

Oh. So that’s why he’s acting like this. The guilt is eating him alive. Torin must have given up, seeing his plan to manipulate me didn’t work, and told the others everything. Now Walter is drowning in guilt, and with him being only a day or so away from his heat, I know emotions like this are dangerous for him.

I should backtrack, accept his apology, let Spade and I move on from this terrible incident, and pretend we can have a happily ever after just as the goddess intended. If I were stupid, I’d do such a thing. But I like to believe I’m better than that. Besides, this apology is pathetic. Even Torin did better.

"Walter, are you only apologizing because I’m your fated mate? Is that the reason you feel guilty?" I ask, meeting his hurt, clouded eyes. I want to pluck them out.

He quickly shakes his head, curving his lips into a weak smile. "No. I was going to apologize a long time ago, since I came back from my mother’s. I just never had the time, with you being in the hospital and all."

I nod with feigned compassion, pretending to believe this man—the symbol of selfishness—is actually genuine in his apology. "So are we even? After what happened to Yurena and this pack, I really think you got us good from what happened in the past. But are you willing to start on a clean slate?"

"Walter, do you think an apology sets everything right? Undoes the damage that was done?"

His eyes search mine, probably scrambling for a suitable answer that won’t set me off. But I’m already set off by his audacity. My anger boils in my chest. How dare he think what I did to Yurena and the twins would make us even. Maybe it does, but I’m not trying to get even. No. I know what I want now, thanks to Walter’s pathetic apology. It reminded me exactly why I hate Spade, why I have not done nearly enough.

I feared them. I couldn’t even look them in the eye. I kept my head down for months. But Walter can still meet my gaze. He has no fear. And that will change. Everyone in Spade will break the same way I did.A few days with Erin made me forget the hatred I feel for this pack. But a couple of seconds with Walter has reminded me. This omega has not lost enough.

"Umm... I know it doesn’t set everything right, but it sure does get the train moving," Walter laughs nervously, a laughter I don’t join.

"I’m also sorry," I say with a smile, tugging my hands away from his grip. "For...?" he questions, shifting awkwardly, his hands moving behind his back.

"For what I’m about to do. I’ve been wanting to do it for a very long time now." I turn and walk toward the stairs. Walter follows, his hurried steps echoing behind me. "Wh... what are you going to do?" he stammers, but I don’t answer. A wide grin spreads across my face as I run upstairs. I am going to enjoy this.

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