Kelme, who had been standing beside her with the expression of a man who’d long ago accepted his fate, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "She’s not wrong," he said quietly. "You can’t burn the building down. We need this building. It’s where we get quests."
"I hate this building."
"I know. But we need it."
"I hate you too."
"That’s fair."
---
The receptionist, whose name Aria had learned was Margaret, finally sighed with the weary resignation of someone who’d dealt with difficult adventurers for far too long.
"Look," Margaret said, finally looking up from her paperwork. "I understand you’re frustrated. I understand you think you deserve better quests. But the guild has rules, and the rules exist for a reason. If I let every Bronze rank adventurer take A rank quests, people would die. Good people. People with families. People who trusted the guild to keep them safe."
Aria opened her mouth to argue, but Margaret held up a hand.
"I’m not saying you’re not capable. I’ve seen your combat reports. I know what you did in outside of this guild. But combat ability isn’t everything. The tomb requires more than strength. It requires knowledge. Caution. A willingness to follow procedures."
"Procedures," Aria repeated, the word tasting bitter on her tongue.
"Procedures keep people alive."
"Procedures are keeping us from getting what we want. Same thing."
Margaret sighed again, a sound that seemed to come from somewhere deep in her soul. "Fine. I’ll make an appointment for you to see Guild Master Balogun."
"An appointment? How long will that take?"
"Three weeks."
Aria stared at her. "Three weeks?"
"We’re very busy."
"THREE WEEKS?"
"Would you like me to make it four?"
---
Three weeks.
Three weeks of waiting. Three weeks of doing more F rank quests. Three weeks of watching other adventurers—less capable adventurers, less talented adventurers—get promoted while they stagnated.
Aria was losing her mind.
"This is a conspiracy," she announced, pacing back and forth in the cave. "This is a deliberate attempt to destroy our spirits. They’re trying to break us."
"They’re not trying to break us," Kelme said, watching her pace with a mixture of amusement and concern. "They’re just following procedures."
"Procedures are the enemy."
"Procedures keep people alive."
"Procedures are keeping us from getting what we want. Same thing."
---
The first week, they did three more F rank quests. Rats. More rats. A single goblin that had apparently wandered into a village and gotten lost.
"This is beneath us," Aria said, standing over the defeated goblin. "This is so beneath us."
"At least it wasn’t taxes," Kelme offered.
"I would rather do taxes than this."
"Would you really?"
"No. But I’m trying to make a point."
The second week, they did E rank quests. An escort mission through a perfectly safe forest. A delivery mission that took them three days to complete. A "haunted" house that turned out to have a squirrel in the attic.
"I’m going to burn the guild down," Aria announced, standing in the now-squirrel-free attic. "I’m going to burn it to the ground."
"Please don’t. I don’t want to have to find a new cave."
"Then give me a reason not to."
"I’ll buy you a pastry."
"That’s not enough."
"Two pastries."
"...Fine."
By the third week, Aria had developed a twitch in her left eye. Every time someone mentioned the guild, the word "standards," or the word "procedures," she felt the overwhelming urge to set something on fire.
"Just a few more days," Kelme said, trying to calm her. "Just a few more days and we’ll see the guild master."
"I’m going to punch him," Aria said, her voice flat and emotionless.
"Please don’t."
"I’m going to punch him in the face."
"I don’t think that will help."
"It’ll make me feel better."
---
The appointment was finally here.
Guild Master Dammy Balogun was not what Aria had expected.
She’d imagined a grizzled veteran, scarred from countless battles, with the kind of commanding presence that made people stop and listen. Instead, Dammy Balogun was a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, a coffee stain on his shirt, and the tired expression of someone who’d long ago given up on the world making sense.
"Sit," he said, gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk. "Sit. Please. I don’t have a lot of time."
Aria and Kelme sat. The chairs were surprisingly comfortable, which only made Aria angrier.
"So," Dammy said, leaning back in his chair. "You want to do the A rank quest. The tomb."
"Yes," Aria said, leaning forward. "We’re ready. We’ve completed all the prerequisite quests. We’ve proven our combat abilities. We’re—"
"You’re Bronze rank."
"We’re Bronze rank because of a stupid exam that had nothing to do with—"
"I know about the exam," Dammy interrupted, holding up a hand. "I wrote the exam."
Aria blinked. "You wrote the exam?"
"I write all the exams. It’s one of my many responsibilities as guild master." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "And I know you failed it. Miserably. You scored zero. Out of a hundred, you scored zero."
"That’s not true," Aria protested. "I got at least a few questions right."
"You got alot wrong. You wrote ’a map’ on the law section, and that was correct in other sections. Everything else was wrong. Very, very wrong."
"At least I got other Questions right."
"Yes. One. Out of a hundred. The lowest score in guild history."
Aria opened her mouth to argue, but Kelme put a hand on her shoulder.
"Don’t," he said quietly. "He’s not wrong."
"Shut up, Kelme."
"I’m just saying—"
"I said shut up."
---
Dammy watched the exchange with a mixture of amusement and exhaustion. "You two are... interesting. You have combat abilities that would make seasoned adventurers weep. You’re efficient, creative, and clearly capable of handling dangerous situations."
"Then why won’t you let us do the tomb quest?" Aria demanded.
"Because you’re idiots."
Aria stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"You’re idiots. Complete, utter idiots. You have no knowledge of guild regulations. No understanding of dungeon protocols. No appreciation for the chain of command. You go into a dungeon without a plan, without backup, without any idea of what you’re doing."
"That’s not true. We always have a plan."
"Your plan is ’punch it until it stops moving.’ I read your reports. That’s literally what you wrote for the goblin quest. ’Punched them until they stopped moving.’"
"It was a good plan."
"It was a terrible plan. It just happened to work because goblins are weak. But the tomb—" He shook his head. "The tomb is different. The tomb is dangerous. The tomb has killed every single person who’s ever set foot inside it."
"That’s why we need to do it. That’s why—"
"You need to understand something." Dammy leaned forward, his eyes suddenly sharp. "The guild has rules for a reason. We don’t just send anyone into A rank quests. We need to be sure that the adventurers we send are competent, knowledgeable, and capable of making good decisions."
"But we are capable—"
"You scored zero on the guild law exam. Zero. You couldn’t even manage a single correct answer about dungeon etiquette. What would you do if you found a magical artifact in the tomb?"
Aria opened her mouth, then closed it.
"What would you do?" Dammy repeated.
"...Take it?"
"That’s wrong. That’s dangerously wrong. The proper procedure is to document it, leave it in place, and report it to the guild. Taking it without proper authorization is a violation of guild regulations and could result in catastrophic consequences."
"Catastrophic consequences?"
"Magical artifacts are dangerous. They can kill you. They can kill everyone around you. They can end civilizations. There’s a reason we have procedures."
Aria was quiet for a moment. Then, slowly, she spoke. "So you’re saying we can’t do the tomb quest because we’re too stupid."
"I’m saying you can’t do the tomb quest because you’re too reckless. There’s a difference."
"Is there?"
"Yes. Stupid people can be trained. Reckless people just get themselves killed."
---
Kelme cleared his throat. "What about getting a scout? Someone to guide us through the tomb. Someone with experience."
Dammy shook his head. "You’re Bronze rank. Bronze rank adventurers don’t get scouts."
"But we’re strong. We’ve proven—"
"Strength isn’t the issue. Trust is." Dammy leaned back in his chair, his expression weary. "You’re Bronze rank. You have no reputation. No connections. No history of making good decisions. Why would I risk a scout’s life on a team of unknown, untrustworthy adventurers?"
"Because we’re good at what we do."
"I don’t doubt that. But being good at punching things doesn’t make you good at navigating a tomb. Being good at charming monsters doesn’t make you good at avoiding ancient traps. The tomb requires more than combat ability. It requires knowledge, caution, and a willingness to follow procedures."
"Procedures," Aria repeated, the word tasting bitter on her tongue. "You keep talking about procedures."
"Procedures keep people alive. Procedures are the reason the guild has existed for centuries. Procedures are the reason we’re not all dead."
Aria felt something inside her snap.
"Procedures," she said, her voice rising. "Procedures. That’s all you care about. Procedures and rules and taxes and exams. You don’t care about results. You don’t care about what we’ve actually done. You just care about your stupid, pointless, bureaucratic procedures."
She stood up, her chair scraping against the floor.
"Do you know what I did in the caves of the Crimson Peaks? I killed a nest of cave trolls. I killed a dozen of them. I killed them with my bare hands and my light magic and my sheer, stubborn refusal to die. I killed them because I had to. Because there was no one else to do it."
She leaned forward, her eyes blazing.
"And now you’re telling me I can’t do the tomb quest because I didn’t fill out the right paperwork? Because I failed some stupid exam that had nothing to do with anything that actually matters?"
Dammy stared at her, his expression unreadable.
"I want to help people," Aria continued, her voice shaking with emotion. "I want to make a difference. I want to stop the monster waves that are going to destroy this kingdom. I want to save lives. But I can’t do any of that if I’m stuck here, doing F rank quests, waiting for your stupid procedures to catch up with reality."
She took a breath, steadying herself.
"So either let us do the tomb quest, or give us a way to prove ourselves that doesn’t involve wasting three weeks on rats and goblins. But I’m not going to sit here and let bureaucracy kill me. Not when there are people who need help."
---
The silence that followed was deafening.
Dammy looked at her for a long moment. Then, slowly, he smiled.
"You’re absolutely terrifying," he said. "Do you know that?"
"I’ve been told."
"I believe it. but nobody going to die if you leave the tomb alone, you’re just being dramatic" He leaned forward, his expression shifting to something more serious. "I’m not going to give you the A rank quest. Not now. Not until you’ve proven yourselves. But I’ll tell you what I can do."
Aria’s heart leaped. "What?"
"I can give you a different quest. A B rank quest. Something that will test your knowledge as well as your combat abilities."
"What kind of quest?"
"There’s an old ruin in the northern forest. It’s been overrun by a colony of mimics. Normally, we’d send a team of experienced adventurers, but—" He paused, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "You two could use the experience if you wish to go to the tomb."
"You want us to clear a mimic infestation?"
"I want you to clear a mimic infestation and document everything you find. If you do it correctly, if you follow procedures, I’ll consider giving you the A rank quest."
"That’s blackmail."
"That’s negotiation. There’s a difference."
---
Aria and Kelme left the office, their expressions a mixture of frustration and determination.
"I can’t believe he’s making us do another quest," Aria muttered.
"I can. He’s the guild master. He has to follow the rules."
"The rules are stupid."
"Maybe. But they’re the rules."
Aria sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Fine. We’ll do the mimic quest. We’ll follow procedures. We’ll prove ourselves."
"And then we’ll get the tomb quest."
"And then we’ll get a scout and do the tomb quest." She paused, a sudden thought striking her. "I hope the scout they give us is not a rules freak as well."
"Then we’ll just have to get Gold rank faster. because I want to get something out of all that hard work"
"How do we do that?"
"I don’t know. I’ll figure it out."
Kelme looked at her, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "You’re impossible."
"I’m determined. There’s a difference."
"Is there?"
"Yes. Determination is a virtue. Impossibility is a state of being. I’m virtuous."
"You’re delusional."
"Same thing."
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