Knowledge Is Power: The Last Reader

The cave in Dead Man’s Wonderland had never looked so inviting.

Aria collapsed onto the luminous moss, landing with all the grace of a sack of potatoes.

Her body ached.

Her mind was exhausted.

Her soul felt like it had personally filed a complaint against her.

She lay there for several seconds, staring blankly at the ceiling.

The mask was still on her face.

She reached up and touched it, half-expecting it to have vanished during everything that had happened.

It hadn’t.

Of course it hadn’t.

"...I hate everything."

Her voice echoed through the cave.

"I hate the tomb. I hate the mimic. I hate the guild. I hate paperwork. I hate debt. I hate monsters. I hate caves."

She paused.

"And I especially hate whatever idiot decided adventurers needed paperwork."

Kelme sat down across from her.

"We get it."

Aria turned her head.

"No, you don’t."

"I do."

"I hate existence."

"That’s a little dramatic."

"Existence is terrible. I’ve been doing it for years, and so far, I haven’t seen the appeal."

Kelme raised an eyebrow.

"How old are you again?"

Aria stared at him.

"I don’t know anymore."

"How do you not know?"

"It’s complicated."

"Seventeen?"

"Probably."

"You’re saying that like you’re guessing."

"I’ve been through body switching, magical disguises, undead nonsense, memory problems, and enough identity crises to fill three lifetimes. At some point, I stopped keeping track."

Kelme considered this.

"Fair."

Aria sighed.

"I just want to go home."

---

Kelme stretched out on the moss beside her.

"You know, when I was a vampire, I didn’t have to deal with any of this."

Aria turned toward him.

"Any of what?"

"Paperwork. Debt. Guild rules. Angry adventurers. Taxes."

"You paid taxes?"

"No."

"Then you weren’t dealing with them."

"Exactly."

Aria stared.

"That isn’t an argument."

"It worked for centuries."

"Because you were a vampire."

"Being a vampire had its advantages."

"You drank blood."

"Perk."

"You were hunted by angry mobs."

"Occasional inconvenience."

"You couldn’t walk around during the day."

"Minor scheduling issue."

"You were literally a monster."

Kelme nodded.

"Still had fewer administrative problems."

Aria had to admit that was difficult to argue with.

"That’s depressing."

"It was a simpler life."

"You killed people."

Kelme’s smile disappeared.

"...Yes."

The joke died immediately.

Aria noticed.

Kelme looked down at his hands.

"I don’t miss that part."

Aria’s expression softened.

"I know."

A moment passed.

Then Kelme sighed.

"I do miss not having to fill out forms."

Aria snorted.

"There he is."

---

Aria pushed herself upright.

"Wait."

Kelme looked at her.

"You lived for centuries."

"Yes."

"You had money at some point."

"Probably."

"You must have gotten into trouble."

"Frequently."

"Legal trouble?"

"Frequently."

"Debt?"

"Less frequently."

"How did you deal with it?"

Kelme smiled.

"I killed people."

Aria stared at him.

"That’s your solution?"

"It was effective."

"I need a solution that doesn’t involve murder."

Kelme thought for a moment.

"Then we’re going to have to get creative."

Aria groaned and fell backward.

"Wonderful."

---

She stared at the ceiling.

"I really thought the tomb would have something."

Kelme nodded.

"So did I."

"Some ancient treasure. A weapon. Information. Something that would actually help us."

"Instead, we got a murderous mimic."

"And illusions."

"And almost died."

"And no treasure."

Aria frowned.

"Actually, I’m still not convinced that treasure was real."

"It wasn’t."

"I know."

"I checked."

"You checked?"

Kelme nodded.

"yeah, I searched it a lil before we left."

Aria slowly looked at him.

"You had time to check?"

"I have priorities."

"You’re unbelievable."

"I survived for centuries. You learn to multitask."

Aria groaned.

"I hate that place."

"So do I."

"I can still see that stupid Shiny’s face."

"I know."

"And that stupid smile."

"Yes."

"And the stupid way it kept pretending to be everyone."

Kelme nodded.

"And the stupid treasure."

"You mentioned that already."

"I’m still angry."

"Fair."

Aria sighed.

"At least the mask is useful."

She touched the leather against her face.

"I can change my appearance. Maybe I can finally move around without everyone recognizing me."

Kelme nodded.

"Or you could disappear completely."

Aria looked at him.

"What?"

"New face. New name. New clothes. New identity."

She frowned.

"That’s not a solution."

"Why not?"

"Because I was meant to rise into a Queen, that can’t happen if I keep using reset at every inconvenience. "

Kelme shrugged.

"Running away is underrated."

"It’s also how I got into half my problems."

"And how many times did it save you?"

Aria opened her mouth.

Paused.

"...Several."

"Exactly."

"That doesn’t make it good."

"No."

Kelme smiled.

"It makes it effective."

Aria rolled her eyes.

---

She touched the mask again.

"I don’t want to become someone else."

"You don’t have to."

"I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hiding."

"You don’t have to do that either."

"Then what do I do?"

Kelme looked at her.

"You figure out what you actually want."

Aria frowned.

"I thought I knew."

"What did you want?"

"To unite the kingdoms."

Kelme waited.

"To stop the undead."

Another pause.

"To save people. but all of that wasn’t even my plot."

"And now?"

Aria looked down.

"Now I’m hiding in a cave with a former vampire. maybe I should start making my own plot."

Kelme raised a finger.

"Former very handsome vampire."

"Don’t push it."

"Fine."

Aria sighed.

"I thought I was going to save the world."

"And now?"

"Now I nearly starve if I don’t find food."

Kelme nodded solemnly.

"A devastating downgrade."

"I can’t even afford an inn."

"That’s worse."

"I owe the guild money."

"Much worse."

"I don’t even know how much."

Kelme looked concerned.

"That is genuinely terrifying."

Aria buried her face in her hands.

"I wish Milo were here."

Kelme glanced at her.

"You really miss him."

"He’d probably have some ridiculously complicated explanation for everything."

"Probably."

"And then he’d tell me exactly why my entire plan was stupid."

"Probably."

"And somehow I’d feel better afterward."

Kelme smiled.

"Sounds like him. even though I don’t know him"

Aria lowered her hands.

"I just feel like everything is getting bigger than me."

Kelme nodded.

"That’s because it is."

"Thanks."

"I wasn’t trying to make you feel better."

"I noticed."

---

Silence settled over the cave.

The moss glowed softly around them.

For once, there were no monsters.

No fighting.

No screaming.

No magical fog.

Just two exhausted people sitting in a cave, trying to figure out what came next.

Eventually, Kelme broke the silence.

"So."

Aria looked at him.

"What’s the plan?"

"I don’t know."

"Excellent."

"What?"

"That’s the first step."

"Toward what?"

"Figuring it out."

Aria narrowed her eyes.

"You sound suspiciously optimistic."

"I’ve been dead for centuries. I’m allowed to be optimistic once."

She smiled.

"Fine."

Kelme thought for a moment.

"We could rob the guild."

Aria’s smile disappeared.

"No."

"We haven’t even discussed it."

"Because it’s a terrible idea."

"It’s an efficient idea."

"It’s a criminal idea."

"Those aren’t mutually exclusive."

"Kelme."

"Think about it. We go in, take the money, pay your debt, and disappear."

"That is absolutely not how we solve problems."

"Why not?"

"Because we’d be criminals. and if Milo was here, he would explain why that’s stupid."

Kelme shrugged.

"We’ve been called worse."

"That isn’t helping."

"We could wear masks."

Aria stared at him.

"I already have one."

"See? We’re halfway there."

She covered her face.

"I cannot believe I’m having this conversation."

"We could make it a team effort."

"No."

"Strategic redistribution of wealth."

"No."

"Financial liberation."

"Still no."

"Extremely aggressive charitable donation."

"Kelme!"

He laughed.

Aria glared at him.

Then her expression changed.

She looked thoughtful.

"Wait."

Kelme stopped laughing.

"What?"

Aria slowly sat up.

"What if we don’t rob the guild?"

Kelme blinked.

"I’m listening."

"What if we rob someone who actually deserves it?"

Silence.

Kelme stared at her.

Aria stared back.

A slow smile spread across his face.

Not his usual friendly smile.

Not the awkward smile of a man rediscovering humanity.

This was something else.

Something that belonged to the vampire he’d once been.

His eyes gleamed.

"That," he said quietly, "is the right spirit."

Aria immediately pointed at him.

"Don’t make that face."

"What face?"

"That face."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"You look evil."

Kelme’s smile widened.

"I prefer entrepreneurial."

"You’re already planning something."

"I have centuries of experience."

"Doing crimes."

"Learning opportunities."

"Crimes."

"Unconventional problem-solving."

"Crimes."

Kelme sighed.

"Fine. Crimes."

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