Lewd Dungeon Master: This Orc Is Too Damn OP!

Quite a lot of time had passed in the hunt for the intruder using divine power.

Orias, resurrected through a mid-grade magic stone, had reported that the enemy was beneath the floor, and the incubi in every sector had taken up shovels and started digging their way down.

"Is there any point to this? No matter how far down we dig, we’re just going to hit a spot blocked off by that barrier."

"When they tell you to shovel, you shovel. Quit running your mouth and dig. You get caught slacking by Lord Orias again and he’ll be chewing you out in your dreams next."

"You two. What was that?"

Orias, walking past with a shovel over his shoulder, called the two cambions over. Both went white with panic, sprinted over, and slammed their heads to the floor in front of him.

"I may be an incubus, but do you think I’d chew you out even in your dreams? Huh? What’s the reason I chew you out in the first place? It’s all to find those intruder bastards under this floor, isn’t it? Yes or no?"

"Yes, sir!!"

"Is that right? Then let’s have you take a beating."

Orias picked up his shovel and beat the cambions to death. Beat them to death, literally. The two of them lost their lives as bloody pulp.

"Slacking off on the job, you worthless bastards."

Orias grabbed the two cambions he’d killed and dragged them along the ground. A long smear of blood trailed down the corridor as Orias came to a stop in front of the circular genital shield set into the floor.

"You’ll be more useful dead than alive."

Whoosh.

Orias flung both cambions onto the genital shield. The instant the two incubi’s bodies made contact, the barrier of divine power flared pink, and the demons’ corpses turned to ash and vanished like they’d been set on fire.

"Hey! You son of a bitch!"

A gravelly male voice came from down the hall. The man, who looked like roughly half incubus and half human, grabbed Orias by the collar without a word of warning.

"Well, if it isn’t Focalor. What’s gotten into you?"

"Who said you could kill my subordinates?"

"I merely killed a couple of lazy slugs who weren’t working hard. Are the incubi with human blood in them all like this?"

"You piece of trash. You’re not even ranked in the top forty, and the Legion Commander was generous enough to take you on as an executive, and you don’t know your place...!"

"Well, well. What a fine fight. Go on, kill each other and be done with it."

A black robe drifted into view, floating in midair. Caim, captain of the Nightmare unit and an incorporeal demon, sneered at the pair and pointed at the genital shield.

"Why don’t the two of you jump on that together? That’d break this stupid barrier right open."

"Caim, you little...!"

"Everything’s ’you little’ with you. The guy who snacks on dark elves three meals a day should shut his mouth. The cambions are the ones slacking the hardest right now. My sector’s already been swept. The rest is your turn."

Caim pointed at the floor and sank down through it. As a Nightmare, he could check beneath the ground without touching a shovel.

"Why don’t you use that fancy power of yours on our sectors too?"

"I can’t read anything outside my own sector. This corridor is the Legion Commander’s domain. The only area a Nightmare can survey is his own. If you don’t like it, hand your sector over to my boys."

Orias spat on the floor and threw his shovel down. Plenty of incubi were already out in the corridor working, but the three of them had no intention of hiding the bad blood between them. As Orias turned to head back into his own sector, he kicked the tightly shut door of the succubus sector.

"Damn it! The men are out here working like dogs, so how come those succubus bitches won’t even show their faces!"

Orias stomped back to his sector, huffing. Under Focalor’s direction, the demons pressed on with the work at a quick pace.

"Hey, Caim. At this rate, are we going to scrape all the way to the bottom of the dungeon?"

"...We only need to dig down about sixteen feet everywhere. That’ll turn them up no matter where they are."

"The dungeon’s not going to collapse, is it?"

"Then the enemy would be in serious trouble too, wouldn’t they? The door won’t open unless they kill all four of us at once."

Caim pointed at the sealed door. The door that had glowed a quarter of the way through at the moment Orias died had gone dark again and looked like an ordinary door.

"You do know that if the sealed door doesn’t open, the portal to the upper floor doesn’t open either, right? It’s not like this is day one. How many times do I have to explain it to you, halfie?"

"Whatever, ghost boy. You don’t even have a dick. You can’t actually bang a single dark elf."

"Shut it. I can bang them in their dreams just fine."

"Doing it in the real world is a delicacy you’ll never understand. Ugh, forget it. I shouldn’t even bother with you."

Caim and Focalor spat obscenities at each other and disappeared into their own sectors. The incubi still working together in the corridor kept shoveling, awkward looks on their faces.

Even then, the door to the succubus sector had not opened.

***

[Asmodeus’s sector.]

"Wow, the succubi sure are putting up a fight. You really think that’ll keep you alive?"

I grabbed the horn of the succubus who had me by the collar. She swung her claws to open my throat, but I was faster, swinging her around by the horn.

"Whiiiirlwiiiind!!"

I gripped the succubus’s horn tight and spun my whole body. With the tattoo’s power added in, her feet whipping around left and right hit harder than any decent kick.

"Go join the Goddess, Ras!"

I hurled the succubus away. She flew flat through the air, beating her wings frantically to fight the momentum, but the inertia from my throw carried her straight into the wall.

The wall, specifically the door of the succubus sector where Meri had installed the Virginium Shield.

Zzzrrkt!!

Her wings touched first, and her wings went first. The divine power broke the demon down to the atom, and I dusted off my hands, ready to grab the next succubus.

"All right, next customer!"

"What are the men outside even doing!!"

The succubi screamed and gathered magic power into their hands. The sharp claws of magic sprouting from their fingers were genuinely threatening, and my robe was already torn in a few places.

"They’re out there shoveling their hearts out!"

"Useless bastards!"

"Look who’s talking, you haven’t dug a single hole!"

I closed the distance in one stride and dove at a succubus. She jerked her head back to keep her horns out of reach, but horns aren’t the only thing I can grab.

"Exposing your belly means you’re asking for a gut punch!"

Whump.

I drove a straight punch into the belly she’d left wide open. The succubus vomited blood and her eyes rolled back. I seized her by the hair and brought my knee up.

Crack!

The knee landed clean on her jaw. Her eyes lost focus for a moment as consciousness left her, and I dragged her by the hair and threw her onto the genital shield.

"One more coming through!"

Zzzrrkt.

The succubus vanished without even a scream. The demon burning up made the surface of the genital shield flicker out for an instant, but Meri, leaning against the wall with her rapier planted in the floor, looked perfectly unbothered.

"Dad, are you seriously going to keep fighting like this?"

"Of course! Let me get some leveling in too!"

Level 89 or not, it had been far too long since I’d had a real fight. The Legion of Wrath is nonviolent, but right now I was here fighting as a member of the Legion of Pride, so there was nothing at all stopping me from being as violent as I liked.

"What good is capturing succubi going to do us! We’ve already got plenty of succubi in our own Legion! If you want to surrender, spread your legs!"

Not one succubus in that sector spread her legs.

"So you’re going to resist to the very end? Fine, let’s keep this going!"

"Go ahead and keep running your mouth!"

One of the succubi came forward dragging a hostage.

"This one’s life is forfeit!"

The hostage was a dark elf, her skin darkened, and unlike the cookie elves with their glossy silver hair, hers was a dull, brittle gray. What’s more, her ears had been cut down lengthwise until they were practically the same size as a human’s.

"Are you an idiot? We didn’t even come here to save her. What’s the point of taking a hostage?"

I leveled my seax and sneered at the succubus. The dark elf just stared at the floor, her eyes full of despair, the eyes of someone who had already given up on living.

"I did not come here to rescue dark elves. I came here to smash your Lust Legion to pieces."

We did come here to rescue them, actually. But negotiating with a hostage taker over a hostage is a fool’s game.

"Frankly, I’m baffled. What made you think I came here for elves?"

"B-because that high elf is standing right behind you..."

"You fool! How dare you put dark elves and high elves on the same level!"

My roar put real fear into the succubi.

"I do not take dark elves! The only ones I take are high elves and cookies-and-cream elves!"

"W-what is that supposed to mean!"

"What would be the point of explaining? You’re already dead."

I struck my signature pose and charged. The succubus holding the dark elf hostage looked toward the genital shield and bit her lip.

Over there, Meri had the tip of her rapier trained on her.

"Oh, sh-"

Fwip.

Faster than a Beam, a single wind arrow grazed past the crown of my head and cut away at an angle. The wrist gripping the dark elf’s throat was punched through and torn off, and I caught the dark elf around the waist.

"See, if you’d just banged some orcs way back when, none of this would be happening."

I tossed the dark elf toward the genital shield. With succubi as our opponents, she was far safer next to Meri and her divine power than next to me.

"Kyaaaah!!"

The succubi bared their claws and threw themselves at me. As bodies came flying in from every direction, I spread my arms wide.

"Ha ha ha, you want to get banged by me that badly?! If you insist, I’ll oblige! Only!"

Fwoooo.

The tattoo’s red aura wound around my whole body. My vision went red, and my blood began to boil.

"You’ll be getting banged into a bloody pulp!"

Whump.

I planted my fist in the face of the first one to reach me. The feeling of her nose shattering and the bone above her brow caving in traveled straight up my arm.

Krrnch.

I twisted my fist clockwise while it was still buried there. The succubus’s head shoved sideways and her whole body bounced off toward the floor.

Slish, slish.

Claws started shredding my black robe. It was woven tight from Andras feathers, but these succubi were strong enough to slice through it with insulting ease.

"Yeah, heavy armor underneath."

Skreek, skreeeek!!

With a sound like nails on a chalkboard, every one of those claws skidded off. The dwarven armor I wore under the robe turned aside all of it, and in the meantime I yanked on the horn of the succubus in front of me. Curled like a ram’s, it made for a convenient handle.

"I’ll be borrowing this!"

Holding the horn, I brought the edge of my hand down on the crown of her head. The horn, hard as bone, broke off with a snap.

"Aaaaagh!!!"

The succubus collapsed, shrieking like a bone had broken. The shrieking was so unbearably loud that I gripped the horn in a reverse hold and drove it into her throat.

Fsssshhh.

Red blood sprayed everywhere. The succubus, her own horn buried in her neck, gushed a fountain of it. I kicked her aside, pulled the horn free, and swung it behind me.

"Guk-"

The horn sank into the temple of a succubus lunging for my throat. She dropped to her knees and pitched forward. I shoved her aside with my foot and wiped the blood off my face.

Three in seven seconds.

Face smashed, horn snapped off and driven into a throat, then driven into a temple. Having lost three of their own in a heartbeat, the succubi began edging backward in fear.

"Heh heh. What’s wrong? Where’d all that spirit go?"

"You... you’re no ordinary orc!"

"A little late to be figuring that out, you fools."

Anyone who can survive over a day of guerrilla warfare deep in enemy territory is hardly ordinary.

Granted, it’s not easy to imagine a Legion Commander infiltrating in person, but recognizing quickly when someone stronger than you is standing in front of you is basic demon survival.

"Hurry up and bring me your boss. Who’s the one running this sector?"

"..."

The succubi only glanced at each other and avoided answering. I clenched my fist and counted them up.

"Twenty of you just in what I can see. Ugh, if I didn’t already have a succubus wife, I’d bang the lot of you to death."

A bit of a shame, but I doubt I’d have regretted passing it up much. There’s no chance a virgin exists among succubi, and I didn’t see a single one on Shaitan’s level either.

"Heh heh. I’ll have to ask her for one round per succubus I put down. Right. You’re..."

Whump. I caught the wrist of a succubus dropping at me from the ceiling and slammed her into the floor. Thrown down like she’d taken a chair shot, she gaped her mouth open and coughed.

"Kuh-hk!"

"You’re Shaitan’s twenty-fourth round, succubus."

Crunch.

I stomped on her horn. My steel boot snapped it off with no effort at all, and I used the horn to drive a stake into her solar plexus.

"Now hurry up and send your boss out. I already know everything, you realize."

Clap, clap, clap.

I clapped my hands to get the succubi’s attention.

"Which one of you is Asmodeus? Speak up now and I’ll send you off clean with a Beam."

Behind me, Meri waved the Holy Sword Virgo at the succubi with a bright smile.

"Anybody want to get Beamed by me?!"

Not one succubus raised her hand. I applauded them and raised my fist.

"Good. I’ll just beat every last one of you to death until Asmodeus shows up. It’s not like..."

I pointed at the door leading out. Naturally, the Virginium Shield sat squarely in front of it.

"...you have any way out of here except dying."

Beaten to death, or throwing yourself onto a shield of divine power.

"Anyone who wants to surrender, spread your legs and stick your own tail up your slit. Well, if you’d rather not..."

Crack. I snapped the horn off a succubus lying on the floor and closed my fist around it.

"...then I’ll be happy to stick you with this instead."

Where I stick them is entirely up to the succubi. Gripping a horn in each hand, I started walking slowly toward them.

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