Livestream Matchmaking: My Intel Infinitely Refreshes

Chapter 39: Chapter 39: A Disastrous Start

[Wouldn’t it be bad to go empty-handed?]

[If a relative introduced you, you can bring a bouquet. If you met through a matchmaking agency, don’t bring anything.]

[Anyone who’s been on over 100 blind dates knows: the one who brings a gift is automatically in the weaker position.]

[You don’t actually think bringing a gift will make her like you, do you? She might even look down on you for giving something cheap.]

The bullet comments were split between those who supported Zhang Zhe and those who opposed him.

In reality, many a Matchmaker would advise the man to bring a gift, encouraging him to be more "generous" on the date. To put it bluntly, this just meant spending more money and showing off, all on the off chance the woman might fall for it.

But Zhang Zhe didn’t see it that way. At the very least, bringing a gift to a first meeting was completely meaningless.

If you really wanted to make a gesture, you should wait until both sides had shown some initial interest. For the second or even third date, bringing a cup of bubble tea or a free-with-a-QR-code-scan bouquet was more than enough.

"I don’t bring anything at all?" The guy on the call felt his entire simp philosophy being challenged. "The last Matchmaker I talked to said I absolutely could not go empty-handed."

"Then you should listen to her," Zhang Zhe said sarcastically. "What if some girl who wasn’t interested in you suddenly decides she’ll marry no one else just because you brought her flowers? It would be a real shame to miss that opportunity."

"That’s impossible." The guy chuckled, a little embarrassed. "The women you meet on blind dates these days are very realistic. Small gestures like that are useless."

"As long as you know that." Zhang Zhe was slightly more satisfied. ’This guy might be salvageable after all.’

But this was as far as he could help.

Whether the guy could get married with his dignity intact would depend on his own performance from here on out.

"Bro, just go give it a try for now. Spend as little money as possible in the early stages. At your age, you haven’t even hit your peak for blind dating yet. Just focus on gaining experience and trying your luck."

"Okay, Brother Zhang." The man thanked him. Zhang Zhe thought he was about to hang up, but he suddenly came back with a question. "If I find someone suitable, can you help me vet her?"

"Vet her?" Zhang Zhe shook his head. "I’m pretty far from where you are. Let’s forget about vetting. As long as you like her, that’s what matters."

[Streamer, something’s not right with you.]

[I smell a Minotaur in the making. Streamer, you’re so bad.]

[Hahaha, Brother Zhang, what are you thinking?]

[Don’t mess around, this guy clearly has no confidence. It would be best if the streamer could help him vet her.]

"The distance doesn’t matter," the man had his own idea. "If I find someone I like, I’ll have her join a call with you, and you can help me analyze her. Wouldn’t that work?"

"This is a Matchmaking Live Stream Room..."

Zhang Zhe was just about to emphasize this point when the other guy beat him to it:

"Then just have a session with her."

"Brother Zhang, I trust your character. You’re so outstanding, you definitely wouldn’t stoop to stealing someone else’s girlfriend."

"I’m mainly afraid the woman might be hiding something from me. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I feel like I’m the type of ’nice guy’ who’d end up taking on someone’s baggage. It would be bad if she ended up having a Black baby."

"PFFT—" Zhang Zhe couldn’t hold it in and spat out the water he had just sipped.

’This guy has a wild imagination. He must spend a lot of time on online forums.’

Still, seeing these cases online was one thing; encountering them in real life was another. If you ran into someone who was good at hiding it, it would be genuinely hard to tell.

Zhang Zhe had a friend whose girlfriend cheated on him. She was chatting with her affair partner on a payment app, taking time off work to fool around, and still coming home on time every day.

Who would ever think to look there? You could search her WeChat history for a lifetime and never find a thing.

"Dude, it’s not that serious. You’re not in Wakanda. How many single mothers with Black children could there possibly be for you to take on?"

"I’m just scared," the man said, a bit sheepishly. "I feel like marriage is for life..."

"Since you put it that way, I guess I have to help you. When the time comes, have her do a mock matchmaking session with me. I’ll listen in for you and see if she’s telling the truth."

Zhang Zhe agreed readily. ’It’s still a matchmaking session, anyway,’ he thought. ’What’s the difference who it’s with?’

’Besides, if this guy is unlucky, he might bring more than one person to me.’

’In that case, this long chat today could be considered a long-term investment.’

"Okay, thank you, Brother Zhang."

"Brother Zhang, let me send you some gifts! I’ll start with two Carnivals..."

"No, no, no! If you send gifts, all the money goes into Zhang Yiming’s pocket. The guy’s already one of the richest men in the country, and you want to give him more money?"

Zhang Zhe quickly stopped the guy, halting his impulse purchase:

"If you really want to support me, just help me promote the stream. Especially to women of marriageable age—recommend me to them."

"My earnings are based on the number of matchmaking sessions I do. The more sessions, the more I earn."

"You got it," the man quickly agreed. "When I get to work later, I’ll recommend you to my colleagues at the clinic. A lot of the nurses there are single."

"Great. I’m counting on you, my man."

...

After the previous caller logged off with a torrent of thanks, Zhang Zhe immediately added a new service to his screen.

[Service C]

[Free evaluation of your blind date partner for male clients. Prerequisite: She must join a call and pretend to be on a blind date with me.]

At first glance, this service seemed a bit... Minotaur-ish.

But anyone who knew Zhang Zhe understood that he wasn’t that kind of person.

[Brother Zhang, what if I don’t have a blind date partner? Can you assign me one?]

[The streamer’s new service is kind of like the ancient practice of a handmaiden ’testing out’ a husband for her lady.]

[Matchmakers get perks like this? Hey streamer, are you guys hiring?]

Zhang Zhe watched the bullet comments, feeling things were getting a little weird. He quickly added a note to Service C: "Online Only."

’That should clear up any ambiguity.’

In truth, the main reason he was pulling all these stunts was to get as many matchmaking sessions as possible. The system’s rewards were just sitting there, waiting for him.

Being able to see them but not claim them felt like he had ants crawling all over him.

"Anyone here for a blind date?"

"We’re having a grand opening sale! Buy one date, get one free!"

"My matchmaking is free, so how can I ’get one free’? Good question. Probably because the only thing I can give away is another session. It’s not like I can give away money, right?"

"Alright, I’m done talking nonsense with you bullet comment trolls. Someone’s here."

"Hello?"

"Um, hello, streamer~" The girl’s voice was a little quiet and timid, sounding very gentle.

It was genuinely gentle, not one of those forced, squeaky ’cutesy’ voices. It sounded very clear.

"What service are you here for?"

"I... I don’t know. I feel like your standards are too high, streamer. I’m probably not qualified to have a blind date with you."

"Maybe I should just go with Service B."

"Sure," Zhang Zhe replied with a smile. "They’re pretty much the same, really. You have to introduce yourself either way."

"Okay... I was born in ’03, I’m 5’7", and I weigh 121 pounds..."

"Born in ’03? You’re already going on blind dates at your age? You’re only 22!" Zhang Zhe was visibly shocked.

Honestly, if he met someone this young on the matchmaking market, his first reaction would be that this girl was a massive red flag, desperate to marry someone off.

Twenty-two was the age when you just graduated from college. Anyone with even a little bit of career ambition or a goal of achieving personal fulfillment wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get married.

"It’s probably because I’m from the countryside. People get married pretty early where I’m from."

"Which province are you from?"

"Hedong."

"Okay, got it. Please continue."

"Um, my education is an associate’s degree that I upgraded to a bachelor’s, and I’m about to graduate. My parents are both farmers. I have a pair of twin younger brothers... and a pair of twin younger sisters..."

What? How many people were in her family?

Zhang Zhe was so shocked his jaw dropped unconsciously.

’Twenty-two years old, with four younger siblings, from a purely rural family.’

’Holy crap,’ he thought. ’This girl started life on the highest difficulty setting!’

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