L*st and Death

“Where are you going?”

Lewis turned to look at Siron, who had suddenly stood up.

“To find a lifeline.”

“A lifeline? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Siron couldn’t bring himself to say he was planning to contact Baekgyeong. He stayed silent. A moment later, he brushed his fallen bangs back and sighed.

“I just need to rest a little. Maybe I’m tired because it’s been a while since I did deliveries.”

“Come rest in my room. The bed’s better there.”

“N–no, it’s fine. I just want to be alone until Anna gets back.”

“Do I need to spell it out for you? You want to be alone with me because she’s not here.”

Lewis’s eyes fixed on Siron like nails hammered into place, observing his every reaction. Faced with Lewis’s raw attachment and hopeful gaze, Siron unconsciously rubbed his earlobe and answered awkwardly.

“I just want to rest alone.”

Lewis pulled Siron in firmly, trapping him between his thighs. His face touched Siron’s chest.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“The pheromone thing... Don’t do that.”

A faint but unmistakable rush of primal pleasure. A sensation that teased his body from within, tickling with sharp, crawling desire. The air felt electric and alive—Siron shoved Lewis away, flustered.

“Not now.”

“So later is okay?”

Siron rubbed his arms slowly where goosebumps had risen, eyes darting away.

“...Yeah, later...”

“Do we really ever get that ‘later’?”

Lewis asked, his voice a little sharper now.

“Later? What do you mean?”

Siron asked with a puzzled expression. Lewis stared at him like a sulking boy, his eyes filled with reproach, like Siron was pretending not to understand on purpose.

“Do you even want to have a real relationship with me?”

“Isn’t it a bit much to ask that, considering we’ve barely done more than sleep together?”

“...Barely kissed? We slept together and that’s ‘barely’?”

Seeing the shocked look on Lewis’s face, Siron flinched and rushed to clarify.

“I mean, we’ve been focusing too much on the physical side. It only happened because of your rut. It wasn’t like we chose this.”

“I couldn’t help it. I was instinctively drawn to you from the start.”

At Lewis’s frank confession, Siron suddenly remembered their first encounter. A torrential downpour. That enormous, dark silhouette locking eyes with him, followed by a flash of lightning. That lunatic tearing off the iron bars of a closed Curry King and smashing through the glass to attack him.

“Our first meeting was instinctual. Instinctively attacked me, instinctively got your ass beat, instinctively—”

“Oh god, please. Just be serious for once.”

Lewis couldn’t take it anymore. He stood, pulled Siron in by the back of his head, and shut him up with a kiss. Lewis sucked on Siron’s tongue, teasing and tangling with his own.

Every part of Siron that Lewis’s lips touched felt like it was electrified. The air seemed to slice across his skin, his body covered in a delicate web of pheromones. Siron felt his temperature rise. He was floating, like reality had peeled away and he was weightless.

Lewis nibbled at Siron’s cheeks, jawline, and earlobe. Then he whispered in a low, guttural voice:

“Even after that night, I couldn’t stop wanting you. I knew you were mine. I wanted to kiss you until we were both breathless, to rewire every one of your senses, and drag you into a world of pain, pleasure, and delirium.”

The veins on Lewis’s forehead stood out. With the surge of adrenaline and pheromones, his face flushed, his breathing quickened. His hand slowly slid toward Siron’s waistband. Siron’s erection was already straining upward, half-hard beneath his pants. Just before Lewis’s hand reached it, Siron pushed it away.

Maybe thinking it was just the usual token resistance, Lewis tried again. This time, Siron shoved his hand away more firmly. Lewis finally caught on. He pulled back a little and scanned Siron’s face in silence.

Eventually, Lewis sighed, all the energy draining from him.

“So you never intended to accept me in the first place.”

Siron avoided his gaze and said,

“It might look pathetic, turning you down like this after all that, but... I have no intention of becoming an omega.”

He continued, with difficulty.

“You’re only drawn to me because of my pheromones. If I’m no longer an omega, that’s the end of it.”

He looked up and met Lewis’s eyes. Lewis looked like he’d just been told something as absurd as Siron planning to live as a human this month and a snail next.

“You seriously believe you can go back?”

“Of course I do!”

“That ship’s already sailed.”

Lewis spoke gently, with affection, but also deeply serious. His firm conviction left Siron speechless. Siron hastily pushed his hair back and let out a hollow laugh.

“It hasn’t sailed. I’m going to become a normal man again. And when that happens, you won’t be drawn to me anymore.”

Lewis gave a faint smile. A brittle, frozen one.

“Lewis, be honest. Would you have been interested in me if I weren’t an omega?”

“That’s a meaningless hypothetical.”

“Think about it. Even if I’m good-looking, would you have felt anything for Yoon Siron without pheromones?”

Lewis couldn’t answer right away. He stared at Siron’s face, chewing on the question—something he’d never even considered before. Finally, he said:

“I don’t know.”

Siron clapped his knee and said clearly,

“See? It’s the pheromones.”

“So what?”

“It means your feelings aren’t real.”

Siron smiled proudly, as if he’d solved everything. Watching that light, clear smile, Lewis felt like his soul was draining down a sink. All the care and love he’d poured into Siron seemed to mean nothing.

Lewis fell into deep thought. He decided to be honest with himself. He didn’t know whether his feelings were real—or if they were just his brain misinterpreting pheromonal signals as love. Just like one can’t see the far side of the moon from Earth, he couldn’t even imagine a Siron who didn’t emit pheromones. So how could he be sure he’d still feel the same?

Lewis didn’t stop Siron as he walked off to hide in his room. He didn’t have the confidence to persuade a man who had more certainty about Lewis’s feelings than Lewis did himself.

But just for today.

Siron didn’t know Lewis well, just as Lewis didn’t fully understand Siron. Lewis wasn’t the type to waste time endlessly worrying. Let Siron judge his feelings however he liked. Lewis still held hope and optimism about their future. He would never unplug this connection.

At that moment, Siron had locked the door to his room, curled up in bed, and was scrolling through his phone. He knew he’d been harsh to Lewis. But it was necessary. Before he got too attached—before he was completely captured by that candy-sweet younger man—he had to end it. If he didn’t, he’d end up living the rest of his life tangled in endless sex, omega or not, like some rutting animal. That was not how he intended to live.

“Even if you hate me, you know I’m your only option. Come with me to New York. Let’s find a way to reverse this transformation. Even if I’m garbage, I can still ask my mom and brother for that much.”

Siron found Baekgyeong’s number in his phone. He was the hole in the sky, the rope dangling from it. If any company could restore his body from this omega transformation, it was Vile Group Pharmaceuticals—the ones who created alpha suppressants.

Let’s go to New York. That guy doesn’t need Omega Yoon Siron—he needs Human Yoon Siron.

His heart twisted at the thought of Lewis, but it was time to make a decision—for the rest of his life.

Just before he tapped Baekgyeong’s contact, he changed his mind. Baekgyeong’s mother’s funeral would be held in Korea over the next two days. He didn’t want to disrupt that with an excited phone call about New York.

Instead, Siron opened the location-tracking app and checked Baekgyeong’s status. The user icon, “noname1,” was grayed out. That meant his phone was off, location services were off, or he was still in transit.

“Maybe his flight’s delayed?”

It had been three days since Baekgyeong last made contact. Even accounting for delays, it shouldn’t take three days to fly from the U.S. to Korea.

“He didn’t get caught up in something bad... right?”

Just as Baekgyeong worried about Siron disappearing, Siron now worried Baekgyeong might be caught up in something. Just like Choi Baekhee’s tragic death, Baekgyeong could also be facing danger. Siron tried not to imagine the worst, staying calm as he searched Baekgyeong’s name online.

Only funeral articles showed up.

“Vile Group CEO Choi Baekhee to be laid to rest quietly at Seongamsa temple with family.”

“Pharmaceutical magnate Choi Baekhee, laid to rest at Seongamsa in private family ceremony.”

There were no headlines involving Baekgyeong himself. At least it didn’t seem like he’d gotten into trouble.

[Me]: Where are you? Still not in Korea? Contact me immediately when you see this.

8:48 PM

Siron sent the message, unable to fully relax. Whether Baekgyeong’s phone was off, or he was still flying, the only sign was the disabled location. No obvious danger. And yet, Siron’s heart raced. His muscles tightened with anxiety. The fact that Baekgyeong wasn’t responding felt like the ominous beginning of a horror movie.

No way. ...It can’t be.

He tried to push the negative thoughts away, but the news clips announcing Choi Baekhee’s death kept replaying in his head. The trait known as alpha. The plan to reveal it to the world. And the first alpha she had planned to reveal—Baekgyeong.

If the ones behind Choi Baekhee’s death were now targeting her son... the bad thoughts wouldn’t stop.

As the phone remained agonizingly silent, time dragged on. Baekgyeong’s reply never came.

Not until the next morning.

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