Mage Manual

Felix returned to her room, had a quick wash, and lay down on the bed. The room was comfortably warm, so she wore only a loose shirt and panties.

She turned to her side, hugging her soft plush pillow, burying her face in the plush toy.

It wasn’t surprising that Freyja acted this way after regaining her memory. What truly shocked Felix was that even the cold and composed Siflin accepted her feelings for Ash after her memory returned.

It seemed she was the only one who was different.

Whether it was sending Ash several explicit selfies daily from the Kingdom of Senluo, or the recent time she used makeup as an excuse to get close to Ash... Even though she kept finding excuses to deceive herself then, Felix now understood upon reflecting on those memories that she did indeed have feelings for Ash.

But now she didn’t want to continue liking Ash.

How could she like someone like him?

Not to mention that she didn’t want to and was afraid to share affection with the Sword Maiden and the others; even if she were willing to join in, she couldn’t accept such a chaotic relationship model. She attended the developer’s conference several times at close range, and on the Bride’s Night she caught a fleeting glance of the cream flowing out of Puff... Just thinking about being in the midst of that made her body burn with shame.

She wasn’t willing to lie there and watch Ash mess around with others!

As Freyja said, everyone has different standards, and no matter how much she challenges her limits, her standard remains unwavering: it must be a pure love between two people, anything else is heresy.

Thinking about it carefully, it’s quite laughable; Legendary Mages stronger than her, Demigod Mages far superior to her (now even Six-winged God)—they can accept such a form of love, but she, a mere Holy Sanctuary Mage, is being so pretentious—it’s somewhat ungrateful... but she’s really scared.

She’s afraid of being overlooked, abandoned in the corner, deeply in love only to end up moved by herself;

She’s also afraid of being valued, being despised and antagonized by others, falling into a vortex of deceitful emotions;

If only she were the one to suffer grievances, that’s one thing. But what if there were children in the future? Not everything can be solved with a Miracle. Some things have no fairness, just like the overall Supreme share is just that much, the more people share, the less you have... Love is the same.

Felix sometimes really envied Freyja and others who could fall in love recklessly, not caring about consequences, but she couldn’t do it. Every time she would think about the future, about the children, about how pathetic it is for a wife and children who can’t receive complete love... She herself was born illegitimately, she knows what it feels like.

She and Demi, her mother and Lady Beverly, even her father... everyone suffered bitterly because of this unblessed love, longing but unreachable.

How could she repeat the same mistakes?

For her, amnesia was the best escape window, but now restoring memory didn’t mean falling back into the abyss. Unlike others, she didn’t fully embrace her past; she could detach herself, examine these memories from a third-person perspective, correct these erroneous emotions with correct values, as if a Divine favor had given her a chance to escape from the purgatory of despair.

Negate Ash’s actions,

Negate her own actions,

Negate all wrong feelings,

This should be simple for her, just by thinking of the Sword Maiden’s tears, the Witch’s loneliness, Silver Lamp’s indifference, and Vishi’s grievances, she can truly negate their feelings and her feelings from the heart. But why...

"Why..." Felix hugged the toy tightly, her tears wetting the plush fabric: "Why do I still want to see him..."

In the Star Bridge Hall, facing the imposing demeanor of the ancestorial Sword Law Angel, he protected her in front, refusing to let go...

In the Kingdom of Senluo, after having a serious discussion with him about harem issues, he was genuinely worried and intended to repent, distancing himself from the Sword Maiden and others...

In the Kingdom of Blood Moon, before the wedding skit took place, he saw her loneliness, specifically asked her to close her eyes, satisfying her self-deception, kissed her forehead for the first time...

Felix opened the Light Screen to pull up the photo album and flipped to a group photo of the four brides. She rubbed her eyes, seeing Ash, who had vanished from the photo, now back again, standing behind the brides, his gentle gaze full of affection, and the four brides looking at the floral car parade outside, their faces—beautiful, holy, cute, or charming—were all graced with genuine smiles.

Throughout this long journey, she indeed saw the Sword Maiden and others’ sad and wronged expressions, but she also saw much more... the beautiful moments of their laughter and emotion.

Looking at this photo, she suddenly became mesmerized, big teardrops fell on the plush, and she said in a low, aggrieved voice: "Why is it that I’m the only one who feels so distressed regaining memory..."

"Because you are both yearning and fearful."

Felix jumped up terrified, turned, and saw Dedarose sitting next to her. She inhaled heavily and stumbled as she said: "La-Lena Miss!? When did you come?"

"I was here since you finished showering, but you were too preoccupied, holding the plush and squirming on the bed." Dedarose said calmly: "I came to discuss the next plan with you."

"Alright!" Felix immediately said, rubbing her eyes and trying hard to act as if nothing had happened: "What are we going to do next?"

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