Inu and me.
Inu, who I despise.
That worthless, piece of trash woman. Deep down, I know that I hate her. I want to kill her. I feel it.
In front of me, that handsome guy who I love smiles brightly. “Come, puppet,” he says, his voice like warm honey against my ears. “You hate her.” I do. I despise that woman with everything I have. She disgusts me. “Kill her.”
And at that, I tilt my head. “What?” I ask.
He blinks. “Kill her.”
“The heck? No,” I reply, confused. “Who does that?”
“You hate her,” he repeats. “So kill her!” His voice is so sweet, and I really like him, so I consider it, but… it really makes no sense. Besides, I’ve made my choice already. I’ve [Selected] her to be nice to. I’ve [Selected] him to…
Huh.
[Selection 18 > 19]
Somehow, I notice I’ve made the decision that this wonderful, beautiful man, should die. I tilt my head at that. Then, I shrug. “Alright,” I say.
“Yes, very good,” he says, then turns to Inu. “And you. Kill that upstart!”
She turns to me. There is conflict in her eyes. She clearly hates me. And then, I see her eyes quiver. Clearly, I notice, she likes me, too. What the hecc? What’s up with that? What a weirdo. I hate her. What a fricken pathetic display. Hatred and love in one? Gross. I want her to leave me alone, to disappear forever, to die.
And yet, instead, because I chose to, I smile at her. “Hey, Inu?” I ask.
“Yes?” she breathed. Her answer is that of someone on the verge of breaking. It comes out breathy and strained, as if she doesn’t know what to think. Torn in two. How strange. How weird. Is she… choosing to like me, too?
“I like you,” I lie. It’s not true. I hate her. I despise her. But it’s the decision I’ve made. So, it’s true. It’s as honest as I can be, because the truth is a lie.
Parsing my feelings is hard. I breathe, and hold her eyes for a few more seconds. Somehow, she smiles. “I… think I like you too, Snow.”
“What?!” that beautiful, wonderful man says. He’s so damn handsome. I want him to like me. And yet, I’ve decided to be cruel to him. Why. Why did I make that decision? It’s so clearly wrong, so clearly false. “No! Fight! Hate each other!”
I tilt my head. Then, gently, I smile. No, something like this is what my skills are made for. It’s something I usually don’t do. Something I don’t want to do, something I only do for very special people, in very special situations.
But myself? I am a special person. My decisions are utmost. There is nothing more disgusting than not being in control of myself. I’ve promised myself, so long ago, to never do this for others, never do this for those who don’t deserve it. But since it’s me… It’s alright.
I use [Suppression].
I [Suppress] my hate for Inu.
I [Suppress] my love for this man.
[Suppression 20 > 22]
The deep, unending apathy within me rises up, and swallows those emotions that I deem unnecessary for myself. That goes against my decisions, that betrays the person I wanna be. I am my own master.
Never will I suppress my hatred for someone I decide deserves it. But if I’ve decided to kill someone, then there’s a reason. If I’ve decided to love someone, there’s a reason. My decisions are paramount. They are the top. Inviolable.
[Selection 18 > 21]
I breathe. “I don’t kill people I hate,” I say, calmly. I don’t even hate Inu anymore, so it’s a half-truth, but that’s okay. “I kill people who I decide deserve it.”
Then I step forward, and, smiling, the tough girl near me does the same. I feel her reach into that well of apathy, and pour some onto herself. She also seems to like this guy who wants us to fight, even though she doesn’t want to like him?
That’s okay. I’ve decided to be nice to her, so I help. I reach out, with the knife of [Deconstruction] and sever that like she has.
[Deconstruction 15 > 16]
[Class up! Nullmage 14 > 15]
My vessel grows. Power flows through me. It burns, and I feel that apathy within my chest ringing ever stronger. Somehow, when my feelings disagree with my decisions, perhaps there is a use to it? Perhaps, that cruel, cold, unfair side of me, that makes all my affections thin as paper… makes them stable?
[Epitaph Etched.]
It’s a truth about myself. About the way I feel. And I feel grateful to the man for that. I feel grateful towards him, even as I step forward, even as mana forms in my hand. He tries to break my focus, but that’s pointless. The attempt shatters as he forms it.
[Deconstruction 15 > 16]
I step forward. The puppet army follows suit. Inu reaches for my hand, and I squeeze hers. She smiles at me, torn between happiness and hatred, though the second is, more and more, smothered by the first. What a tough girl.
“Stop this at once! You love me! Both of you! What is-”
We step forward. The distance between us is small. It feels so large, and yet, it’s just a few steps.
There’s a pain in my head. A disgusting touch upon my brain, that makes blood leak from my nose. “Huh?” I ask, confused.
In front of me, the man screams in terror. “By the tower, what are you?! What… what is wrong with you? You monster! You devil!”
Slowly, a smile spreads on my face. “Y’know, it makes sense why I decided to be unkind to you.”
“You love me!” he demanded. “You love me!”
I nod, smiling. The love is so distant, a whisper, consumed by my apathy. But technically, it’s true. Technically, I love him. “I do,” I say.
A dagger of mana spawns in my hand.
[Solidification 15 > 16]
[Inscription 13 > 14]
It ripples with power. He yells, brandishing the shadows, but the puppets easily hold them at bay. He tries to attack Inu’s head, but it simply bounces back, the mana crashing into his own forehead, making him gasp in pain. Then, that tough girl sends an additional wave into his head, and he writhes.
His focus breaks, but the shadows ripple anyway. It’s a mantle of darkness, almost autonomous, stirring to protect him. A maelstrom of hands and claws that rise from the darkness… spirits and remnants of broken psyche’s he’s left behind. There is a piece of those the mindbreaker breaks that will forever rest with him.
That will forever serve to protect him from those who’d see him broken.
And it doesn’t matter. Puppets and more puppets fight those spirits. A clawed hand reaches for me, but my own shadow expands and growls, and that lie of what once was finds out that true darkness is different from fake.
[The Creeping Darkness mocks the attempt at mimicking its powers.]
Another step. Inu reaches out, grabbing the man by the scruff of his fancy clothes. She pulls his too gaunt face close, and I bring up the dagger I hold in my one hand. Slowly, I bring it to his chest.
He struggles and writhes, but the puppets hold his shadows back. Inu keeps him close. He’s high level. But he’s not stronger than her. He’s… weak. Worthless.
I tilt my head in understanding and bring the knife forward. It sinks into his chest.
“But you love me!” he repeats, helpless.
Smiling, I nod. “I do.”
“Who does that-” blood pools on his lips. “Who does that to people they love!”
My dagger sinks into his ribcage. His bones are unmade by the imbuement, mana grinding them to dust, shattering them, using bits of skill I’ve stolen from the unmaker.
[Deconstruction 16 > 17]
[Biological Restoration 13 > 14]
Underneath my knife, his bones shatter and break. Then, it sinks into his heart. He splutters, his eyes wide with agony as the life leeches out of him, his organ breaking apart in his body.
“You… devil,” he gasps.
I tilt my head. “I don’t know what you mean,” I say. Then, I smile. “It’s simple decision making.”
Inu pulls, and the light in his eyes goes out.
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