Mistaken for a Masked Munchkin

A Happy Ending

Whoooosh!

The Balloon Sword, with no intention of stopping its glow anytime soon.

A blue window surfaced through the swirling flash of light.

Ding!

[Option granted.]

Only then did the brightness die down.

I quietly examined the balloon in my hand. Still the same colorful, cute little sword. The only difference was a faint shimmer dancing across its surface now.

'What...?'

Ding!

[Balloon Sword+]

-Category: Growth-type Weapon

-Grade: E+

-Growth Limit: None

-Status: Colorful, Squishy, Sparkling

-Description: A special Balloon Sword. Emits a faint purifying light from the blade. A weapon capable of growth.

"What."

I stared at the text. Basically, a purification and luminescence option had been added. In short, it now came with an LED function.

My Absolute Balloon Sword had evolved into an Absolute Bright Balloon Sword.

'That's not all.'

The weapon had gained a growth option. Not just sparkling, but its functions would keep improving.

"What even is this."

I'd never seen options like these on a mere Balloon Sword. So this was the reward for that hidden quest I'd somehow cleared out of nowhere. Three hundred uses of Parrying on a single weapon, and the option gets granted to that weapon.

Something good had landed in my lap.

Squish.

I prodded at the sparkling surface. A faint purifying light seeped out.

"Hmm."

Growth-type. Weapon attribute: purification. Starting grade: E+.

A sweet smell drifted up from somewhere.

"Items like these usually have a high ceiling..."

That's generally how it works. Growth weapons always have a higher ceiling than ones that come pre-completed. And this one had no growth limit at all. Normally something like this would cap around B or A rank. But there was no such marker anywhere.

'Could it possibly break through the S-rank ceiling?'

Right now it was an LED-stuffed Balloon Sword, but raised properly, it might become a game-ending weapon. Not a certainty, of course. Even pushed to S rank the performance could end up being just okay. Figuring out how to take an E+ item all the way to S was its own problem besides.

'Something to think about later.'

I gathered my scattered thoughts. A smile at the corner of my lips.

'I never expected a windfall like this.'

Whoosh, whoosh.

Grinning wide, I gave the Balloon Sword a few practice swings. Maybe it was the darkness all around, but the arc it traced looked especially vivid. Like holding a lightsaber.

'Looks badass as hell...'

Three things strike a chord in every man's heart. One is dinosaurs. One is Faker. The last is lightsabers.

'It even changes color.'

Whatever the mechanism, every time I touched the blade the color shifted. Blue, red, purple, green. A color combination that called to mind a certain knightly order from a galaxy far, far away.

I walked on with more satisfaction than I'd felt from all the rewards I'd collected before.

At the agreed meeting point, Carmilla was already waiting.

"Viktor."

"Princess! I see you've been waiting."

"The research wing is taken care of, as you asked."

"The corridor's been cleared too. Shall we move on to the next point?"

"Yes, let's. Hmm... that Balloon Sword, did it always glow like that?"

"Impressive, isn't it?"

"Certainly... the flashing appearance is quite striking."

"As expected! I knew you'd see the worth in this sword, Princess!"

"My aesthetic judgment does tend to be rather exceptional."

We walked, exchanging a bit of nonsense. The Cultists' branch was already in ruins. Every last one of them swept away, every research facility smashed to pieces.

'What's left now...'

The head of this branch. In other words, the stage boss. Regardless of how easy a dungeon was to clear, a boss monster always existed somewhere. And we were heading to hunt one now.

"Hmm... that aside, where is this research director hiding?"

"Most likely the third basement level. That's where the director's office is."

"The civilians being held as test subjects are on the third floor as well, you said."

"Let's take out the director first, then free the people."

"What's your read on him, Viktor? This director."

"In what sense?"

The girl tilted her head slightly. Between the silver hair that spilled forward, those red eyes gleamed.

"Is he strong?"

"Hard to say. Around twenty percent of Professor Glinbert, maybe."

"Not particularly strong, then. He's not a combat operative."

"That's right. Though part of it is that Professor Glinbert is just absurdly powerful to begin with."

"And yet wasn't he completely helpless against that professor, Javert?"

"That's because Professor Javert is a special case..."

Javert was simply in a different weight class. If she weren't, he wouldn't have drawn her into the Glinbert situation in the first place. The youngest chief investigator on record. The headmaster's student and adopted daughter. The effective second-in-command of Grandia Academy.

'To think I'd gotten a favor from someone like that...'

A windfall from every angle. And Javert was the type who didn't bend. Not someone who would break a promise or pretend she'd forgotten one. If anything, she was the type who would find a way to honor a request no matter what.

'Within the limits of her own sense of justice, of course.'

I'd need to sit down and talk with her properly at some point. Uses were occurring to me from every direction.

Lost in those wandering thoughts as we walked.

Splash, splash.

Someone's presence, drifting from beyond the corridor. The direction we'd been heading, toward the director's office.

"Viktor."

"Yes."

We stopped. Waited a moment. Something emerged at the far end of the hall.

"Intruders."

A man draped in robes. Rather than waiting for us to come to him, he'd decided to move first. The assailant was drenched in dark mana, already casting.

"How dare you, how dare you, how dare you... do you have any idea where you are!"

Boom!

Dark, ominous shadows seethed across the entire corridor. They condensed into a single stream and fired out like a crimson beam.

"What have you done to my research lab!!!"

Crash!

The attack surged forward, literally shattering the corridor. The research director had lost his mind, eyes rolling in their sockets.

Faced with that seething beam, I didn't step back. I kicked off the floor and charged.

"Princess."

"Yes, I'll cover you."

Pocket watch already in hand. I pressed the button and swung the balloon.

Click.

The beam's straight path bent off-course. Light Parrying. The follow-up shot, Parrying that aside too. Shrapnel scattered in every direction. Carmilla covered her side.

"Who sent you! Damn it, is it the Border Knights? Who the hell is it!"

The director screamed like a man deeply wronged. A nameless trash boss from the original, after all. Beyond ugly, there was something almost pitiable about it.

"Why are you doing this to us! Why'd you barge in and start this whole damn thing!"

"Who knows."

A short laugh. Five beams deflected, and only a few steps between us now.

"You didn't need a reason to torment people either, did you?"

The clock put away. A dark crimson scythe in hand. A grinning mask reflected in his pupils.

I didn't hesitate.

"Engage. Axe."

Thwack!

Dark blood splattered into the air.

***

Cultist Branch 31.

Its research director, Kilgrim.

The middle-aged dark mage exhaled, ragged.

"Hah... hah..."

The axe had grazed him by a hair. His upper and lower halves had nearly been separated. Kilgrim's eyes went wide and he scrambled backward.

"F-... f***..."

He was trembling all over. What filled his vision were a white mask and a red one. The lunatics who had burst into his lab and torn it to pieces.

'Why, why of all things...!'

Kilgrim felt aggrieved. At this hour he should have been having a wonderful time with his test subjects, and instead he was about to be killed without a way out. His precious daily life, crumbling. That quiet, beautiful routine of dissecting test subjects and stirring through the innards of kidnapped people, shattered.

"Oh..."

Death was closing in. The white mask was swinging an axe, advancing. He'd launched attack after attack, and they'd all been batted aside like nothing.

"Don't come any closer..."

Paralyzed with fear.

"I said don't come near me...!"

The mask didn't care.

Just as Kilgrim was backing away, a strange voice rang in his ear.

『I'll lend you power.』

Out of nowhere. Lost in his panic, Kilgrim could only react in a daze.

『So... won't you make a contract with me?』

"Huh, what?"

『I'll let you win against them. You'll gain tremendous power.』

"I'll do it, I'll do it! Anything! Just let me live!"

Anything was fine. All Kilgrim wanted was to survive.

Pleased with the answer, the voice laughed.

『Good.』

Whoooosh!

Something wrapped around Kilgrim's body. A pure white afterimage spread out like a surge of power itself. Soon his entire body was covered in light.

『Transform.』

The next moment.

Kilgrim was still standing in the same spot. His appearance, though, had changed significantly.

"Huh... what...?"

Something was off. The feeling of being in someone else's body. Looking down, his changed form came into view. The drab robe he'd been wearing moments ago was gone, replaced by a light, airy short skirt and outfit.

"Kyaa, kyaaah...?!"

His voice had changed too. And the body was no longer that of a middle-aged man, but the slight frame of a young girl. Mid-teens, if she had to guess.

『Do you feel the power?』

The whispering voice. Just as it said. Inside the changed body, an enormous energy surged. The Grimoire she'd had on her person had already become an adorable magic wand.

『Kilgrim, Magical Girl of Justice!』

『Blast those masked monsters in front of you away!』

The trembling girl snapped to her senses. Ahead, the two masks had stopped, visibly thrown.

Kilgrim swung the magic wand. A power she'd never held before, yet she instinctively knew how to use it.

"With the power of love and justice!"

A flashing heart.

"Magical Beam☆!!!"

Boom!

A love-sparkling beam filled their vision. The vile masked monsters couldn't even resist, swept up in the beam and vaporized on the spot.

"......!?"

"......!"

The corridor, now an utter mess. Only Kilgrim remained standing. The girl stared at the empty space, breathing hard.

"I-I did it...!"

She had struck down the vile masked monsters with an unknown power. Crisis averted.

Only then did the girl look herself over. Her reflection in the blood pooled on the floor was nothing short of a shock.

"Eeh, kore ga watashi...?"

A short skirt in lovely colors, white pantyhose visible beneath it. A sparkling aura like stars, and sky-blue hair tied in twin tails. The girl touched herself with something like shyness.

The very picture of a perfect gender-swapped magical girl.

"Oi oi! A magical girl saved us!"

Then. Subordinates who had been hiding throughout the corridor poked their heads out. A magical girl who had arrived like a shining star, breaking through the masked monsters' assault.

"Damn, I never stopped believing!"

"A magical girl, of course! To think the director had that kind of power!"

"Amazing! As if some lowly masked monsters could ever block a TS magical girl's Magical Futanari Kidnap-Confinement Portio Training Climax Beam!"

Everyone cheering. Kilgrim flushed slightly but gave a wave at the enthusiastic praise.

"Heheh..."

Then. The ceiling of the research lab was torn away. The dark ceiling vanished, and a blue sky opened up beyond it. What was visible past the collapsed ceiling was a mecha Tyrannosaurus of enormous size.

"Wh-, what is this...?!"

Kilgrim, flustered. The mecha Tyrannosaurus spoke, calm.

"Be at ease, Kilgrim."

"Wh-, who are you?"

"Ah yes. I am your father."

"Father...!"

An emotional father-daughter reunion. Kilgrim ran crying toward the mecha Tyrannosaurus and threw herself into its embrace.

Then. Light burst from the air, and a mysterious masked rider appeared.

"Kilgrim! Look at me!"

"What, what...?"

"I am your mother! When you were just six months old, I had an affair with another man and abandoned you under a bridge!"

"Mother? But... you're a man...!"

"A man can be a mother too! Get rid of that narrow-minded thinking that roles are determined by gender!"

"Ah...! I lacked LGBT sensitivity!"

"Yes, daughter! Come, embrace your mother too!"

Fwump!

The girl threw herself into the masked rider's arms. A touching mother-daughter reunion.

"Boo-hoo, Mother...! You had an affair, so what nerve do you have coming back!"

"My fling got old and became impotent! Absolute trash, good for nothing but bedroom work!"

"So you came back to Father! He can't perform in bed but he has money, so you thought you'd leech off him!"

"Smart just like your mother! Your father, kind as he is, took me back."

"Goodness, Father really is a hopeless simp!"

Mecha Tyrannosaurus Father. Masked Rider Mother. Magical Girl Kilgrim.

The whole family was together.

Kilgrim was happy.

"Heheh... heheh..."

And so the world found peace.

The Magical☆Director protected the world for a long, long time.

The reunited family reportedly fell apart within a year.

A happy ending.

Medetashi, medetashi.

-The end-

Mistaken for a Masked Monster 完

***

"Viktor."

"Yes?"

"Look at this."

The princess, calling me out of the blue. At the end of her pointing finger, something lay there limp and wet.

"This one... he's laughing."

"Oh, so he is."

The research director. Kilgrim. His whole body hacked apart by the axe I'd swung. But the head rolling on the floor was strange.

"Heheh, heheh..."

Still laughing, even as he died. Not conscious, eyes rolled back in his head.

I tilted my head, then dismissed it.

"Leave him be. Probably just having a good dream."

"Very well."

Nothing left to do with what was already a corpse.

Crack!

Even that laughing face was cleaved in two by the axe. When the laughter stopped, I walked the corridor again. Carmilla fell into step beside me, equally uninterested.

"Phew... with everything handled, time to collect our rewards."

I grinned.

Wait for it.

Hurube yurayura.

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