Mushoku Tensei: Life and Strife.

The mind and the body are intertwined. When the body is weary, the mind becomes dull. Perhaps that was why the pig managed to catch me off guard with its shenanigans. And perhaps that was also why I had ended up leaving so many tracks. Because part of me wanted to be found.

Knocked. Knocked. Knocked.

Perhaps that was also why I felt more relief than anxiety when someone knocked through my coffin.

Knocked. Knocked. Knocked.

Like the child who was hiding got found while playing hide and seek, the echoes of knocking sounds rang as if announcing the end of the game.

“… How did you know I was here?”

Well, considering a full field of ice flowers, it wasn’t hard to guess.

“Because I know you, Laurel. Don’t you want to come out?”

Because you know me. Hah. How sweet. Well, considering you are the one who's talking, I guess that is somewhat true. After all, you and I are no different from two sides of the same coin. But I…

“… Don’t want to.”

The pain throbbing through my veins, the tiredness of attempts of failing over and over again… I’m just sick of it all, you know? So I don’t want to think of it. I don’t want to be reminded of the pain. I just want to stay in this empty corner of the world and hide there.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“About what?”

“I dunno. How about you tell me about the Terminator Boar?”

“Th-That-That wasn’t on purpose, alright. That damn boar literally threw a dog at me, so I panicked and…”

I was trying to kill that thing as nicely as possible when it jumped on a tree and swung its dog as if it were a machete, so I ended up spamming the spell I could cast the fastest, which also happened to be the same water balls that I circled around myself every day. Because of that, the pig had to face the full brunt of flowers blooming from inside out for daring to swallow the water.

“I see. And do you want to tell me about Somar?”

“… Who?”

Who the heck is Somar? I genuinely have no idea. But I was so busy trying to live that I didn’t bother remembering things. I felt like I heard the name somewhere once, so is he like a special character or something?

“Somar. I heard you punched a kid and ran away. You want to tell me about it?”

Oh. So that’s who Somar is.

“How would I know? I never punched him in the first place.”

“Really, now?”

… What’s with the sarcastic tone? I shook my head. It was probably Rudeus’s weirdly condescending tone acting up again.

“Oh please, Rudeus. If I were really the one who hit him, then I wouldn’t leave a single wound on him.”

I would’ve traumatized him for life. And I have many ways to do so. Just showing up in his bedroom in the middle of the night while whispering, "I know where you live," to his ear would probably be enough. And if it doesn’t work, drowning is still an option… I don’t remember being this violent.

Was it because I have been reenacting violence over and over again that it became instinctual? Ah, my poor mental health.

“… I see… Should I punish Paul for what he did?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Paul was in the wrong, so he deserves to be punished, right?”

What? What did Paul do this time? Oh, right, he did smack me in the face. Still, I wasn’t angry at him—at least, not anymore. After all, even if I currently inhabit the body of a child, I’m still an adult in mind. Just because my environment changes doesn’t mean my perspective in life would differ.

The only difference was that I let my feelings blind me. And like an adult listening to what the child tells you to do, I went along with it and did stupid things. If anything, I only ran in the heat of the moment and only stayed because I didn’t have the face to crawl back home. But still, I am a rational adult—one that has long passed the expectation that everything would go my way just because I hoped it did. And I’m rational enough to know that this runaway bout had lost its meaning. It was time to go back.

“… No.”

“No? But it was Paul’s fault that you ran away, wasn’t it?”

… Oh right, Paul would’ve gotten the blame for it. My bad.

"Don't blame Paul. He didn't do anything wrong. I'm just... a freak."

Has always been and will always be, no matter in which world we're in. Isn't that why I ended up here in the first place? Ah, I talked too much and ended up revealing things I shouldn't have.

"What?! No, you aren't! Who said that?"

"... Somar did. But I didn't hit him."

Somar did not say that. If the brat had the guts to say that to my face, he wouldn’t have walked out alive. Well, he would, maybe, but he would have broken a bone or something. I would've accepted my punishment with a proud expression, even.

But I didn't hit Somar, so the unjustified punishment felt like crap. No, maybe my disappointment in Paul for not even trying to know the whole situation was the shittier one. I felt bitter for being so childish and petty for something so trivial. And then I ended up lying to cover it under the rug as usual. This damned habit of mine. I really need to keep my damn mouth shut.

...That said, I don't intent to clarify. I wasn't going to go out of this empty. If I suffered because of him for no reason, then he has to also suffer a bit.

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. And if I could rip off a few bones in the process? Even better. Flesh for bone, no exceptions. In this matter, I will not yield... Hah. To be this petty towards a kid, seriously, I really am trash.

I could hear Rudeus fumbling his words here and there, trying to find nice words to say, but at this point, I simply let it go in one ear and out the other. It’s not like I’m an actual child—flowery words aren’t going to do anything. Rather, it was weirder for anyone to be bothered with how I feel.

I could hear the muffled voice of a man shouting in the background. That was probably Paul, wasn’t it? Ah, it looks like I made quite a stir this time.

"Rudeus... Can you do me a favor? Can you bring me some clothes? Right now, I'm covered in mud, blood, and water. I don't want to worry them anymore. I don't want to be seen like this... Sorry for throwing a tantrum."

Right. It was time to go home, out from this coffin of a shell.

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