My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2082: Chapter 1915: Fireworks

The most beautiful fireworks in the world are nothing more than fleeting beauty. No matter how beautiful they are, they are ultimately just a moment of brilliance.

"Then tell me now, what is the greatest pain in the world? Can any of you truly understand what the greatest suffering in the world feels like? None of you can understand, so why do you say such cruel things to me? If one day you can tell me what the greatest pain in the world is, then I will give you the most genuine answer. If you can’t tell me, then don’t expect me to give you the answer you want to know. Everyone pays a price for each exchange. Transaction after transaction only makes one numb, and I don’t want to live like I did before!

Sometimes, I really look forward to the day you can tell me your true thoughts. Everyone’s inner thoughts are different, because everyone’s experiences are different, and the decisions and choices they make are different. Do you know how difficult it was for me to choose this path? Every time I live, it’s so hard, and I live in pain again and again. But you think being with me is the most beautiful thing in the world. But do you know that being with you, I’m just as painful!

Right now, you have no way to accept every word I say and everything I do because your heart is the same—unsure of what to do with this situation. Do you know how great the hurt you’ve caused me over the years is? You have no way to compensate for all the pain I’ve suffered, nor can you answer every question I ask you. If you truly think through how you can give me the answer I want, then come find me. At that time, I will definitely give you my heart and soul and everything I have!"

Zhang Zhentian couldn’t bear his wife saying this over and over again. Could it be that in her heart, he was just a useless man, unable to provide even the most basic answers? Why did they repeatedly say such heartless and ruthless words to him?

What kind of man am I in her eyes? After so many years of marriage, can she really disregard the feelings between us? No matter how much I have sacrificed for her, or how much bitterness and pain I endured, why can’t she ever consider things from my perspective? How painful and exhausting has my life been?

Perhaps everything I’ve ever sacrificed for her is nothing more than a joke in her eyes. Was I just too foolish, too naive, or too lost in heart to repeatedly give everything for this woman in front of me, even my closest relatives? Yet, why can’t she ever see my genuine intentions, as she repeatedly compares me with other men, making me feel so useless as her husband?

The human heart is truly fickle. Why did she vow those unforgettable words during our passionate times, but now use such matters to hurt me? Does it give her pleasure or happiness to hurt me in her eyes? Why are people so selfish and self-serving? Through all these exhausting days, what is this life ultimately for? Just to hurt those who love us the most?

"Xia Jing, I don’t understand the meaning of your words. How do you know I can’t do what you want or give you the answer you seek? The greatest pain you speak of, I indeed haven’t experienced. Then tell me, what is this greatest pain?

I haven’t been through as much as you, but my genuine heart for you has never changed. I would pay any price for you, yet what have you truly given me? Whatever the reason for choosing to be with me back then, in my eyes, you were only using me, merely seeking emotional support after heartbreak. Do you know that by doing this, not only did you harm yourself, but also everyone involved? Everyone is selfish and self-centered; back then, I genuinely treated you sincerely, yet you had other intentions. This all feels so unfair to me, constantly reminding myself to put my heart into caring for you, even when you commit numerous mistakes. As your husband, I still need to care for you because I have responsibilities to you. I don’t know how I can explain to you enough so you can understand the sincerity of my love for you!"

"Do you know that the greatest pain in the world is watching your loved one hold someone else’s hand while you stand by helplessly, seeing her with another woman, all you can do is cry foolishly and gaze at her longingly, while remaining powerless? Do you know how desperate that feeling is? You’ve never experienced it, but I truly have. When I watched him erase all memories, my heart was in deep agony. Do you understand? I never imagined he would treat me like this one day. I never thought that the mistakes I made would hurt him so deeply, witnessing the repeated wounds and suffering in my heart over and over have made me question who my heart truly loves!

Do you know how deeply I love him, really love him? I could give up my life for him now. Time and again, I drink myself into a stupor, thinking only of him. I look for everyone in the world to see me, but I can find no one; I can only find him. Do you understand how painful my heart is? I’m suffering, so hurt, so hurt. But when I repeatedly set aside my dignity and principles to beg him, when I lay down my pride for him time and again, he never looks back at me. Do you understand my despair at that moment?

Actually, you don’t understand; you have never experienced this kind of life. But truly, for the rest of my life, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be with him steadily. Why can’t you forgive such a small wish? Can’t you promise to help me once, please? Must you push me step by step to the brink in order to be satisfied? I only want to love him. I only want to be with him. It’s a love that cannot be fulfilled, but my love for him will never change!

Sometimes, I don’t even know what my deepest inner thoughts are—what kind of struggle each step brings. Was it really the path I once most desired? Step by step, I eventually forgot what I most wanted...

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