My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2129: Chapter 1962: The Cloud’s Yearning

A cloud can carry how much longing and then suddenly meet on the street.

Xia Jing couldn’t help but laugh heartily. He knew that no matter what big mistakes she made in this man’s eyes, she would always be the most perfect in her own eyes. But it was because of this that she became even more reckless, never thinking of admitting her mistakes and never considering changing her ways. But today he understood that no matter how proud a woman she once was, now she must understand what it means to obey the three obediences and four virtues. She must know what a woman should do, what responsibilities a wife should fulfill, and what attitude a mother should have. He knew that everything he has now is already in the past, and there’s no way to go back. Yet, he still wants to take a good look at the responsibilities a mother should bear. She knows that over the years, she owes nothing to anyone but owes the most to her son.

If she hadn’t left him back then, why would she need to work so hard to prove to herself that he’s the strongest one?

If she hadn’t cruelly left home for freedom back then, how could he have walked every step so difficult and tiring?

If she hadn’t committed such heinous sins out of her own desires, making it impossible for anyone to forgive her while she still acts as if nothing happened.

"Zhentian, thank you for all these years of love that I’ve seen in my eyes. Because of you, my life has always been colorful!

I have to admit, the day you abandoned me, my once vibrant world suddenly became dull and lifeless. At that moment, I thought the whole sky had collapsed with no one by my side to accompany me. Do you know? At that moment, I really felt helpless, wanting to cry bitterly, but I couldn’t, knowing I’m the captain of the mercenaries. I have to live strongly and show everyone that even after abandonment, one cannot cry. Since I’ve been abandoned, I must strengthen myself thoroughly, so the one who abandoned me will completely regret it.

Over the years, I know how deep your love for me is. That love is embedded in the bones. Actually, you didn’t know that my initial feelings weren’t genuinely loving you. I was just after your money, playing with your emotions. But gradually, I found your love for me was so deep and genuine that I couldn’t bear it. Consequently, I slowly started to fall in love with you, until later, being unable to extricate myself, completely immersed in it. I know my life will be ruined by you because I can no longer leave you. I regard you as more important than my life. I cannot let you leave my side. If you ever leave me, I will be worse than alive.

Being with you, I am truly happy. But you just said that marrying me is your greatest fortune in life, that you’ve never regretted marrying me. But I still want to tell you, marrying me was not your fortune, but your biggest mistake. I have thought of many ways to be honest with you about everything but never knew where to start. Today is truly a good opportunity to let me confess all my thoughts to you!

I lived in fear every day in the past because I was afraid you would find out the truth, knowing that being with you wasn’t because I truly loved you but to use you. That moment really worried me because I feared you would leave me once you found out the truth. But later, I realized our relationship couldn’t last because you couldn’t bear my lies. I know to cover a minor lie, ten lies are needed, eventually leading to a monstrous lie, forever irreparable! But I am still grateful that you consider me your most important woman. Do you know? That feeling is truly blissful, lying in your arms every day without worries until losing you made me realize what is genuine, what is heart-wrenching pain. At that moment, I understood how painful it is to be abandoned by others. At that moment, I realized how my father and son’s hearts felt when I abandoned them. At that moment, I understood I must wholeheartedly repay my son and father, letting them live under the care of my love..."

Zhang Zhentian did not expect that his wife initially married him not for love but to use him. When he heard this news, his heart was somewhat difficult to accept. Why would the woman he loved so deeply initially seek to use him instead of truly loving him? Did he mean nothing to her in her eyes? Did he matter so little that he wasn’t worth caring about, loving, or taking care of from her perspective?

He thought repeatedly, feeling truly conflicted. He didn’t know how to respond to every word his wife said. Should he pretend nothing happened and indifferently say no problem, this matter doesn’t blame you? But he couldn’t do it. His heart really hurt. Why does the woman he loves so much treat him this way?

Finally, he spoke.

"If I say I don’t care about this matter, it’s impossible. I also can’t pretend to be generous and say it doesn’t matter, this issue doesn’t blame you. What should I say then? Say I really hate you? But I can’t hate you because you are the woman I love most in my heart. But saying I don’t hate you is also impossible. You once were with me to use me, at any cost. This really makes me wonder so much. You, the woman I love so deeply, how could you be so heartless, hurting me so deeply, the one who loves you so much? Is my love for you genuinely despised by you? Do you think my affection for you is just a charade? Don’t you know how much I love you? Do you have to push me step by step to a dead end to be satisfied, to be content?"

Xia Jing shook her head, never intending to push Zhang Zhentian to a dead end. She just didn’t expect that she would finally fall in love with the man in front of her. Initially, she was just playing a game, trying to manipulate his emotions, but eventually, she became deeply trapped and unable to extricate herself.

Who can throw the feelings behind with a turn, after time passes, even if the love was once engraved in the mind, what can it change now?

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