Chapter 2147: Chapter 1980: Heartbreak
Between the brows and eyes lies my longing for you, every flower, every tree, every indulgence, love is a seed, yet it blossoms on a lost path!
Ran Zhihan looked at Zhang Yichen’s stunned expression, finding it amusing. It turned out that all of this was just her own self-indulgence. She had always believed that as long as she expressed her feelings like this, she would receive the answer she desired, but unexpectedly, she was left disappointed in the end. She didn’t know what she should do or say to find a way that wouldn’t hurt either of them, but the answer was truly hard to find. She exhausted all her strategies, yet there was no solution. Is fate really unchangeable? Must they follow the path fate has arranged step by step? No, she didn’t want to live such a life; she wanted to control her own destiny. Why should her fate be arranged by heaven? Her path should be carved out by herself, not paved by others for her to tread upon step by step. Such a path wouldn’t last long and would be exhausting. Instead, why not take up her own weapons and strive for it?
"Since you can’t answer my question, let’s stop contacting each other from today onwards. Because for me, if you can’t give me any promises, why be together? That won’t yield any good results for either of us. You should go home and be with your parents. Perhaps only then can you live joyfully and safely through this life. At the same time, my parents won’t be hurt anymore because of our relationship. No matter when, I will never forget the harm your mother caused me. I chose to forgive because of you; I didn’t want you to be caught between me and your mother. That wasn’t my intention. However, your mother’s actions really made it hard for me to forgive—one harm after another, one slander after another. What does she take me for? I am human, too, with a soul. Why should she harm me repeatedly? Just because I’m not her biological child, she can disregard my life? My parents are ordinary people, but does that mean they can be so easily dismissed? What do I and my parents mean in her eyes? She only values you, her son; she only knows what makes you happy. In her eyes, she only values you, knowing how to maximize your benefits, so you can have a smooth path ahead. That’s her aim. As an ordinary girl, I can’t give you anything, can’t help you in any way, so in her eyes, I have no value. To her, someone without any value is useless. No matter who it is, if they feel someone has no value, they need not exist around them, just occupying space and causing annoyance. That’s your parents. In their eyes, they always prioritize you, their son, above everything else. Our lives aren’t lives; in their eyes, only your life matters, only your happiness matters, only your benefits are their biggest goal..."
Zhang Yichen tightly grasped Ran Zhihan’s hand, saying continuously to her, "Zhihan, it’s not how you think it is. Believe me, I’m capable of handling this matter. The entire world is mine; can’t I handle something as trivial as this emotional issue? Can you trust me a bit more? You know how much I like you. Ten years, ten years of feelings can’t just be cut off. If you could truly leave me, why can’t you face me when you speak? Because you’re guilty, right? There’s still a place for me in your heart, right? Given that, why should we give up our love because of my parents?"
"Our love? It’s easy for you to say. We’ve known each other for so many years; don’t you know what kind of person I am? From the day I found you, from the day your parents returned to the country to meet you because of our relationship, do you know how much grievance I’ve endured for you? Each time I couldn’t express my pain, I could only hold it in my heart. I didn’t want to make things difficult for you, so even if I went through immense pain, I wouldn’t tell you. But what about you? Did you stop your parents from hurting me? This time, it was just a dagger; next time, will it be gunpowder or bombs targeted at my parents? I can’t ensure my being with you won’t bring another disaster to my parents. Watching my parents suffer because of me again and again leaves my conscience uneasy. Watching my parents almost sacrifice their lives for me makes me feel guilty inside. But you’re different; you may find all this natural, but everyone thinks differently. So there’s no need to agonize over these matters between us. As long as you’re happy, that’s enough!"
"You’re wrong; I never thought it was natural. I know all these are for the two of us, but I’ve truly understood now. During this time with you, Auntie held a knife to my neck, forcing me to leave here. But I didn’t; I chose to stay here to study. Now my academic performance is excellent. I don’t want anything to affect my studies; nothing is more important than my studies to me now. You should go home, lest your mother finds out you’re here with me. She’ll force me again, hurt my parents again. Such outcomes are what neither of us wants to see again!" Zhang Yichen wanted to explain, but can these issues be solved with a few words of explanation? Harm isn’t caused in a day or two but repeatedly over time. The harm Xia Jing caused Ran Zhihan—sadness the first time, disappointment the second, and hopelessness the third. Since it’s reached the point of despair, can there still be talk of feelings? She now doesn’t want to hear excuses from the man in front of her. She believes all explanations are redundant. Can the truth of already occurred events be covered up by a few sweet lies? Those hurts still exist in her heart; can they truly disappear because of a few sweet promises?
"There’s nothing more to say between us; I’m very tired. I want to go home and rest. Please don’t follow me, okay? You should go back home and plan how to spend the remaining days with your parents. You truly are happy together. Why cause a rift in your family because of an outsider like me? That would only deepen my sense of guilt. You should go home and persuade your mother. Tell her not to pursue me anymore; that won’t yield any good results for her. I can forgive her repeatedly, but that doesn’t mean I can ignore her hurts every time. I hope you understand that human hearts are made of flesh and they hurt. Your mother’s repeated harm has long made me feel coldhearted. No matter what you say this time, I won’t look back. You should leave; starting today, let’s have no more contact!"
Ran Zhihan finished speaking and shook off Zhang Yichen’s hands, leaving without looking back!
Listening to the rain book, forgetting the road ahead, love ultimately still is you and me!
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