Chapter 2185: Chapter 2018: Beauty by My Side
Outside the mountain gate, snow brushed over white clothes, then melted at the fingertips, perhaps it was just wishful thinking on my part, never-ending and incomplete.
"So quickly you want to sever ties with me, but I’m not that easy a person. I don’t want to ask anything, I just want to understand one thing: when you went to such lengths to be with me, was it because your heart truly loved me or for some other reason? I hope now, at this stage, you can tell me clearly, no more lies to cover up your so-called vanity!"
Xia Jing truly did not expect her husband of over ten years, sharing the same bed, would say such words to her, even though they had been divorced for several years. Why must he use such language to insult her character? Did he always see her this way? Was she really a woman who only sought profit? But she had never coveted anything from him. Why did he perceive her like this? Was it really because she returned home this time without telling him, without choosing to go back together with him?
"I won’t deny, when I first got together with you, I was driven by no other feelings; I simply liked you and wanted to be with you. If I was after your family’s money, when your father’s company was close to bankruptcy, I wouldn’t have reached out to save him. When your father’s career faced a low point, nearing collapse, I extended my hand without hesitation to save him because I believed, if I wanted to be with you, I needed your father’s approval. In fact, if I hadn’t saved your father’s company initially, I would still be with you, yet I kept trying to prove to you that I wasn’t with you for money’s sake. If I were with you for money, I could have easily told you we should break up when your father faced major financial difficulties. I wouldn’t have continued hanging on this single tree among countless wealthy people in the world. Why sacrifice the entire forest for just you? It’s because my heart believed you were the best, but it wasn’t until now I realize all my efforts were just illusions in your eyes. Actually, do you know? The feeling of liking someone can only make one’s heart extremely agonizing, distressed, and confused, not knowing what to do to make the person you like respond to you. I never think about those lives that don’t belong to me; I always assess issues from my own perspective and the perspective of those I care about. Yet one day I slowly found that what made me act this way was all wrong and meaningless because what I care about doesn’t mean the person I love also cares, and what the person I love cares about is not what I care about. Slowly, these two individuals start to diverge, ultimately departing without return, unable to be together again. Actually, when I take these matters lightly, my heart doesn’t dare to believe it! But gradually, I’ve come to feel there’s nothing unacceptable, because loving someone may truly be too humble, too pathetic, ultimately leaving oneself scarred. Knowing clearly these two people are incompatible, yet I still throw myself wholeheartedly into being with them. It’s only to prove to myself that I can have a happy life, but in the end, I realize that this indeed harms both people!"
Listening to Xia Jing’s words, Zhang Zhentian remained silent, merely gazing quietly at Xia Jing. Xia Jing felt increasingly uncomfortable inside; how much she loved someone before, now her heart suffered equally. That kind of conflict and pain is something she can never forget in this lifetime. Clearly knowing the distance between these two people was vast, one the Star in the sky, the other the dust on the ground, it was evident they couldn’t be together, yet in her heart, there was still a longing. Humans are like this, never willing to give up, always thinking of stepping onto that path of love which doesn’t belong to them, but in the end, how many understand that path of love will lead one to a deep abyss, without escape.
To love someone unconditionally is not wrong; it only proves that your love comes from the bottom of your heart, not because of any material possessions. But are you really suitable for each other? If the two are not suitable, being together will only add to the sorrow. Perhaps you feel deep love for him inside, but this person doesn’t love you. If he doesn’t love you, what is the point of being together? Forcing someone who doesn’t love you to stay by your side might make you happy, but the person you love will feel tormented, because he doesn’t love you. Being with you feels like a torture; who would be willing to let the person they love feel a lifetime of suffering and pain because of them? But humans are like this, unable to let go of a little bit of longing in their hearts, always believing that as long as they’re together, they can surely bring her happiness and joy. But in the end, who understands how arduous and difficult this is; no one ever considers these problems.
"I believe I’ve spoken clearly enough. As it is, let’s not meet or contact each other from now on. Today is the day we completely sever all connections. I hope you remember, all of this, all of it, is not caused by me but by the results of what you’ve done to me! Since you chose to heartlessly abandon me, don’t think of regretting later because indeed, in this world, there are no regrets to buy. You must bear all consequences of what you’ve done, whether those consequences are happy or painful, you must bravely face them."
"Is it really impossible for us?"
"There was never a possibility between us, because in your eyes, I’m just a profit-seeking woman, a woman blinded by money, how am I worthy of your proud demeanor? I don’t match you. I don’t want to make a series of changes to fit you anymore, it’ll just tire me out. For you, I’ve sacrificed too much. Now I want to live properly for myself!"
After Xia Jing finished speaking, she hung up the phone, yet his heart was painful, his heart still had that segment he wished to forget, he still longed for that segment of love that didn’t belong to him. But in the end, what can be done? Everything that doesn’t belong can’t be attained. Perhaps this is fate: if it’s meant to be, it will be; if not, it won’t be?
Really hoping it’s not a misplaced affection, better to abandon it all in the wind, letting it drift away!
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