Chapter 2239: Chapter 2072: Affectedness
Everyone should think about having ideals, not fantasies.
"Alright, since you’ve already said it to this extent, I have nothing left to argue. I know that deep down in your heart there’s never been a place for me. I don’t regret waiting for you all these years and sacrificing my youth. In my world, as long as I feel that I love you, I can live on just to protect you, it’s enough for me.
Maybe everyone pursues different things, resulting in different outcomes. You want a life full of freedom and love, while I just want to have you, waiting long years just for you, giving up all my youth for you without any reservations.
Now I am tired too. I know all of this is just my self-inflicted suffering. Everything I’ve done has only ended up hurting my own feelings. In your inner world, I was never there. Why should I forcefully keep you by my side? I shouldn’t have appeared in your life, let alone disrupt the happiness and peace you originally had. Now I’ve become a sinner of the ages. I have no way to forgive myself, but I hope you can live peacefully. For me, it’s enough. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just hope you don’t hate me and can still regard me as a friend!"
Ran Zhihan never thought that one day, he would turn a perfectly fine classmate relationship into what it is now. He never expected this day to come so quickly. She just wanted a stable life. Why in the end did it end up hurting so many people? Could it be that his so-called love ultimately makes everyone sad because of him?
Because of himself, his grandfather was worried to death, his marriage was in shambles, on the verge of separation, yet he stubbornly continued making things difficult and causing everyone pain time and again. Why does no one understand his good intentions? Why does everyone see him as an enemy? Is he really so untrustworthy in their hearts?
"I’ve said before, no matter what, I won’t choose to hate you, because everything you’ve done was for me. You’ve already been severely hurt because of me. I shouldn’t suspect you with a petty mind. I already know that no matter what wrongs you did, it was because of me you ended up like this, falling into such a hopeless abyss because of me. I have no right to blame you, and even less to resent you. I can only let you understand that no matter what, I will believe in you, because in my heart you are always my best friend!
Since we’ve come to this point, I might as well tell you directly, since I’ve always considered you my good friend, you shouldn’t harbor any improper thoughts about me. You should rightly see me as your friend, and not use me repeatedly. I don’t know how to explain my feelings to you now, but at least I want you to clearly know that some things can’t be forced, some people can’t be truly owned just because they fought together. Maybe you still don’t understand what kind of relationship we share, but at least please understand my good intentions. We really are not suitable to be together. Maybe you once thought we were really suitable for each other, our worldviews are so similar, but in the end, you will truly discover that we really are not of the same path..."
Even though Chen Gang already knew he would receive such a response deep in his heart, hearing these words from the woman he loved was still inevitably unsettling. Why did all he received for giving so much for her were simple words of thanks, and ultimately he still had to endure her reproach? Did everything he did really have no merit? Why does his effort never result in a good outcome in her eyes? Why did he have to endure so much pain? Why did everything become so complicated just because of his presence? He only wanted to revive lost feelings over the years, but ended up humiliating himself, becoming so pathetic now.
"Yes, to you, everything naturally doesn’t matter. You didn’t pay any painful price for this, but I have sacrificed my youth for so many years. Is it only women’s youth that are precious? Isn’t my youth as a man also valuable? During this time, I could have found a complete woman to marry and have children with, but I didn’t. I continued to hold on to the hope of being with you, even if you had a child with someone else, I still loved you and never changed. But when you told me those words today, my heart turned completely cold. No matter how much I did, in your eyes, I never got a good result. You still wouldn’t believe I did all this for you, your world had long been twisted, in your eyes there’s only that man and never my place.
Zhi Han, is your heart really that cold? I’ve sacrificed so much for you, can you really turn a blind eye and a deaf ear? Why can’t you calm down and ask yourself what kind of love you really want? My years of waiting for you were in vain. Because of your words, I devoted all my youth, but in your eyes, you still could not choose me. You would never stand by my side to consider what I truly want. You only see that what you’re doing is not what I want!
Is hurting me really a kind of pleasure in your eyes? Is it that only by hurting me to bits, you all can live a good life? Is hurting others really for the sake of your so-called love and happiness? After hurting others, can your happiness really last? Happiness cannot build upon others’ pain. Today, I finally see that all the love I had for you over the years was just self-indulgence — you never loved me because in your heart there never was a place for me, in the end, I walked down this road of no return!
Yes, it was indeed self-indulgence from the start. I never deserved you, I’ve always been wishfully thinking!"
Sensational people are always looking for ways to live in misery but shift the blame to others!
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