Chapter 2243: Chapter 2076
I’ve traversed thousands of miles of mountains and rivers, even if they’re a departure with no return, yet I still can’t let go of a lifetime’s worth of concern.
Chen Gang listened to Ran Zhihan say these words to him. Only now did he finally understand why he was never able to be with the woman he loved most for a lifetime, why no matter how much he gave, he couldn’t see his true and sincere love for her in her eyes. It turns out the problem really arose here. If he hadn’t used him the day he chose to return to the country, hadn’t harbored other intentions towards him, and had sincerely blessed her, would the outcome have been different?
Or if back then he hadn’t thought of himself as unworthy, choosing to go abroad for further studies, would he not have lost the opportunity to pursue her? Would he not have let the woman he loved most leave his side and find no way in this lifetime to bring her back to him? Everything turned out to be his fault.
Since these mistakes have been made, what qualifications does he have to blame heaven or others? Now all he can do is deeply wish them well. But he’s unwilling to have waited so painstakingly for so many years just to receive a warm glance, a hug to savor for a lifetime, yet his actions disrupted all of this balance.
No matter how many mistakes he has made, deep down, he sincerely wanted to be with him. That love has never wavered; he only wishes to spend his life with her. But why did it come to such an outcome in the end? Why, no matter how much he gave, could he never attain the best love? Why in his lifetime has he never been able to have the woman he loves most sincerely love him just once?
"I really want to ask you a question, what must I do for you to sincerely love me just once? What must I do for your heart to restore its former trust in me? Do I really have to give you up to that man? Must I watch yet again as you leap into the fire pit with my own eyes while I can only stand idly by, powerless?
You will never understand, knowing that your most beloved woman is by your side, that I can reach out and draw her into my embrace, yet I am powerless, unable to keep her by my side. Do you know how painful that feeling of helplessness is?
In the past, I truly considered giving up all my dreams for you, staying in the country no matter what, absolutely refusing to go abroad. But I felt I could not match up to you because you’re so perfect in my heart. How could I so easily match you?
Maybe it’s due to my own foolishness, perhaps because I never really thought through what I wanted. That’s why we’ve ended up like this. Sometimes, I really feel distressed inside; I’m unsure about the kind of life I want. I only know that I must be the most perfect man in the world to take care of you because only then can I be worthy of you."
"Actually, I never thought you weren’t worthy of me from the start. I just never imagined that you would choose to go abroad. If you hadn’t gone abroad at that time, everything could have been differently; it’s merely a consequence you’ve caused yourself, who else can you blame? Everyone must bear the consequences their life brings upon them because it’s everyone’s responsibility to be accountable for their outcome, isn’t it?
If you hadn’t left to go abroad at that time, maybe I really would’ve chosen to be with you. After all, you were the cutest boy in the whole school. You were sunny and bright, the most adorable to anyone, and you truly moved me. I watched your every move because I wanted to be with you, yet I never had any way to express my feelings for you because I didn’t know whether I could match you. But perhaps we were destined to have no fate!
You were afraid you couldn’t match me and chose to go abroad, while I feared I wasn’t worthy of you and saw myself as insignificant, so I chose not to confess to you. That’s why we missed each other, leading to the situation we have now. Who else can we blame? It’s all just a destined conclusion. We can never defy destiny. It dictates one’s life, letting you love whoever you want. If you committed wrongs in a past life, you surely won’t get what you desire in this one. But if you did good, destiny will surely favor you. It seems I must have done something wrong in my last life, losing my first love. But I am thankful that heaven gave me another chance, granting me the happiest ending in my life!"
"It seems all these mistakes truly lie with me. I really regret now why I left you, and why I went abroad to further study. Was education really that important? I’ve finally realized everything was unimportant. What matters is that I can be with you, and spend my life with the one I love most, never to part."
"It’s good you’ve understood this truth. Since you’ve understood, you know what you should do next. Don’t threaten me anymore. You should live your life!
You originally had a more perfect life, but why choose not to live your life, and come disturb mine? You disturbed my life, are you truly happy? Do you really bear seeing the woman you love most being hurt and sad for her entire life because of your presence?
I believe you wouldn’t wish such things to happen to us. You love me so much. How could you bear to see the person you love most suffer for a lifetime? Therefore, I ask you not to appear in my life anymore, allowing me to peacefully live the life I desire, and also wish you happiness, only then won’t I feel saddened."
Chen Gang thinks his beloved woman spoke very reasonably. Hasn’t everything he’s done been to let him live happily? If she can live happily, why should he stop her from living a happy life?
Success and failure are mere laughter, already sand running through fingers.
Perhaps ultimately it’s my demands that were excessive, leading to this uncontrollable situation.
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