My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Abellona seemed depressed. She sat there looking deflated, her shoulders slightly slumped, and she knew this was not something she could hide.

There was no medicine for regret.

Her pager kept buzzing, and it felt like this was the worst time in the world to receive a message like this. She glanced down at it before letting out a quiet sigh.

It was from the Emperor, ordering her to return to the capital city of Valerion. Everyone was heading there now that the attack on Lysithara was about to begin in earnest.

But they had also finally gotten a clue about where Linga Felt was, and they were almost there.

It was a small town outside the empire called New Town.

Many settlers and refugees from the war had gone there. It had been built in recent years by wanderers who had nowhere to go. Their homes had been ravaged by war, and they wanted something new, something meaningful. A place where they could rebuild what they had lost.

And this was where Linga Felt had been.

Abellona placed a hand on her abdomen subconsciously, her fingers resting lightly against it as she felt a faint wave of dizziness.

Terra was lying across her carriage seat with her eyes closed. She apparently wanted to sleep to pass the time, leaving only Emilia and Abellona awake. It was still night, but dawn was not far away.

"Congratulations."

Emilia said it without looking at Abellona.

"For what?" Abellona asked, her expression remaining calm as she turned slightly toward her.

"Are you going to keep it?"

Emilia still didn’t look at her.

Abellona’s lips parted slightly. For a moment, she considered denying it, but there was no point. Emilia could already tell.

It was shameful for a princess to be in her condition.

But right now, Abellona was confused more than anything. Maybe she simply wanted someone to talk to.

"I... don’t know," she said softly.

Emilia smiled slightly before leaning her head back and staring at the roof of the carriage.

"It’s not easy, is it? The morning sickness was the hardest part. Then the kicking. The pressure on the bladder was the worst. But when you see that face, you’ll realize it was all worth it."

Abellona took a deep breath, her fingers tightening slightly against her dress.

"Having an illegitimate child is frowned upon in the Imperial family."

"Having an illegitimate child is frowned upon everywhere. I’m an illegitimate child, and trust me, the world never let me forget it."

Emilia lowered her head, her expression becoming slightly distant.

"There were times I wished I had not been born. I hated my father, and I hated my mother for not going through a simple man-made ritual of matrimony before conceiving me."

A chill ran down Abellona’s spine when she heard that. She lowered her gaze, and the dizziness in her head seemed to increase.

"I later realized my parents did love me in their own way, but society had built walls around us. They were both weak people who conformed to it, so I suffered while they watched in silence."

Abellona bit her lip, her eyes falling to the floor of the carriage.

"So make damn sure you’re willing to go through absolute hell, or end it now. But don’t treat someone’s life as a mistake and blame them for it."

That was all Emilia said.

Abellona remained quiet for a while, her gaze lowered. Eventually, she slowly raised her head.

"Do you know how hard it is for a woman to rise to the throne?"

She paused, her fingers unconsciously curling into her palm.

"Which is ironic. The Empress who founded our great empire was a woman. The Goddess we glorify is also a woman. But for a woman to sit on the throne, the only precedent was the founding Empress."

"When I grew up, I made her my ideal because it was also my name. It wasn’t long before people started calling me Abellona of Destruction. That wasn’t what I wanted, but it still made me feel empowered."

She spoke in one long breath before falling quiet.

"All my life, I have fought for what I want. I knew what I was doing. This wasn’t planned, but that’s fine too."

"I’m sure you know who’s responsible for this," Abellona said, turning her eyes toward Emilia.

"I can take a guess, and so can anyone with a brain."

Emilia finally looked at her.

"You do realize this would be worse than if it were anybody else? You practically just gave up your claim to the throne, and the claim of your child to the throne is nonexistent. Your dream of ruling might as well end here."

Emilia was telling her the truth Abellona didn’t want to accept.

"You can’t change the empire anymore. One of your siblings will take the throne when the Emperor steps down."

"If you resist, all the great houses will put you in your place. You’re all alone, a woman trying to fight thousands of years of tradition."

Abellona’s jaw tightened. She gritted her teeth before letting out a quiet scoff.

"Thank you for stating what I already know. But so what?"

She lifted her chin, the uncertainty that had been clouding her expression slowly disappearing.

"Your assumption that I have to give up anything is wrong. I won’t, and I will do anything to succeed."

Emilia smiled when she heard that.

At least this child wouldn’t suffer like she did, with a mother as fierce as this.

"Then you’re going to step on the toes of a lot of people and kill a lot more."

She smiled at her.

"Trust me, it will all be worth it. When you see the face of your child, you’ll know nothing matters more than that."

Abellona closed her eyes.

She had already made up her mind about what to do.

The sun was rising over the horizon, its first rays of light appearing in the distance.

It was time to put an end to this little side quest of theirs.

******

New Town was a small town. Its buildings were new, but it was clear that the place had only been built recently. The people here seemed friendly and welcoming, and there was a peaceful atmosphere that was completely different from the chaos outside.

There was no city wall around the town. The entire place was open, with fields and orchards stretching out beyond the buildings. Several men were already working in the fields, tending to the crops as Abellona’s carriage passed through the town and entered the main street.

They asked around for Linga Felt, and soon someone pointed them toward his house.

When they arrived, they found a modest house in the middle of town. The smell of freshly baked bread drifted through the air, while the laughter of a child could be heard coming from inside.

Emilia stepped forward and knocked on the door.

After a moment, it opened, revealing a woman with brown hair and an apron tied over her dress.

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked politely, her eyes briefly moving over the finely dressed women standing outside.

"Excuse me. I apologize for the intrusion. We came here looking for a man called Linga Felt. We were informed this is his residence."

The woman frowned slightly.

"I hope my husband hasn’t gotten into any kind of trouble."

"No trouble at all. We just wish to see him," Abellona said, offering her a reassuring smile.

The woman nodded slowly.

"If you were hoping to meet my husband, he already left to work in the orchards. I’m afraid you just missed him. But he does come back for lunch at noon."

Abellona glanced toward Emilia and Terra.

The two immediately understood what she meant.

"In that case, can we come in and wait for him? It’s important, and we traveled a long way," Emilia said in a friendly tone.

The woman hesitated for a moment before nodding and opening the door wider.

Abellona didn’t enter.

"This town is interesting. I think I’ll go look around. I’ll meet you guys here at noon."

With that, she turned around and walked toward the town square.

Of course, Abellona wasn’t actually heading toward the square.

She was going to the orchards to look for Linga Felt.

Emilia and Terra would remain behind and watch the house in case he returned.

In the meantime, she would find him herself.

Most of the men in the town worked in the orchards, but surprisingly, Linga wasn’t difficult to find.

After asking a few people, she eventually found a man tending to a row of grapes with a straw hat pulled over his head. He was speaking to another man about this year’s harvest.

Abellona stopped a short distance behind him, listening to their conversation.

"My children really like the blue grapes, especially when you turn them into paste and add honey and other sweet things. It goes so well with bread."

"You just described all the children in our town, Linga. Tell me, what child doesn’t like that?" the man beside him said with a laugh.

There was a sense of peace in this place, as if the madness of the wars outside had never reached it.

Abellona closed her eyes for a moment, allowing the gentle breeze to brush against her face as she listened to the distant laughter and the rustling of the grapevines.

It was peaceful.

Perhaps too peaceful.

Linga eventually turned around.

The moment he saw her standing there, his eyes widened. He stumbled backward in surprise, his foot catching against one of the vines as he fell toward the grapevines.

"Ahh, my waist!"

He groaned as he landed awkwardly.

Abellona stared at him for a moment before asking calmly,

"Are you Linga Felt?"

Linga raised his head and reached for the straw hat that had fallen beside him. He dusted it off before placing it back on his head.

"In these parts, I’m the only one with that name, so it must be me."

Abellona nodded.

"Good. We need to talk. I have some questions."

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