Lustbound.
An erotic game they called it....what a joke!!
I don’t know if I would call it "erotic" though... But it was categorized as erotic, i think that’s just because of the nudity. Very well put together and developed. Good story, great graphics, but it lacked the one thing that it desperately needed... Which was getting people aroused while playing it.
It failed miserably at this to the point that there were jokes being made about it in different online communities. It because well known online as the "Post nut simulator". Some even joked that if you wanted to go through "No Nut November" successfully, just play the game.
According to people, the sex scenes were very bland and unbearable to watch. I wondered how bad it had to be for people to complain this much about it, because most of them play games that look way, way worse than that and it gets them to their desired pleasure domes.
Was it bad taste? Cultural mismatch? No one could pinpoint the exact reason. Despite everything, Lustbound Academy still sold extremely well. Without that popularity, the mocking memes would never have taken off. So i would take that as a gift and a curse for the developers, atleast it’s making sales...right?
I’m not one to pick up those type of games to play but my friend Yuto on the other hand has spent the past couple weeks of his life on his computer continuously at some point i got scared for him.
It started off as curiosity for me. Anytime i come around to visit he was always on his computer, same music loop playing, same weird grin across his face. One day i asked him
"Is it that good?"
He didn’t even look up.
"You wouldn’t understand."
That answer bothered me more than it should have. So one afternoon, while Yuto stepped out to grab food and left me alone in his room, I did what any reasonably curious person would do.
I sat at his PC and booted up Lustbound academy. I wanted to know why he was so drawn to the game.
I played a couple scenes hoping to get a rush of something but i felt... nothing, i felt absolutely nothing and i couldn’t pinpoint why but it annoyed me.
Yuto gave up weeks of his life for this?
I found the review page almost by instinct. His account was still logged in. My fingers moved before my conscience caught up.
"This game is about as arousing as a cold shower in a morgue. Awkward angles and dialogue so cringe it killed any vibe before it even started. I tried, I really did, but nothing. Zero heat. The steamy scenes had all the passion of expired oatmeal. No wonder it’s called Post Nut Simulator, this one couldn’t get a statue aroused. Save your money and your time. Absolute trash."
I laughed as i posted it and closed the tab.
Little did i know that i have made a mistake that i would regret...
"Hey you! Yeah you!! Why the fuck would you write that review about my game? Read it out loud to my face"
"..."
I turned around and before me stood this petite blonde woman screaming at my face and my review floating in front of my very eyes
"Come on, don’t be silent now you little bitch!! You weren’t silent when you posted that fucking review. You didn’t think you would be called before the one involved huh?"
"I’m the Goddess of this game, Yeah the one you called a waste of time and money. Don’t worry you will pay for that review"
I was in total shock and also confused, but as she commanded i started reading...
"This game is as arousing as a cold shower in a morgue..."
The goddess, who had urged me to read the nasty comments, nearly buckled at the knees but recovered quickly. I proceeded to read the rest calmly.
"..Awkward angles and dialogue so cringe it killed any vibe before it even started. I tried, I really did, but nothing. Zero heat. The steamy scenes had all the passion of expired oatmeal. No wonder it’s called Post Nut Simulator.."
"Ugh! No, Stop... Please, stop it..."
"...You told me to read it."
_Where am i?_ If the goddess didn’t introduce herself to me, I would think I was in a typical bachelor’s apartment, with a woman in dire need of psychiatric care.
The problem was, this room wasn’t one I remembered. It wasn’t Yuto’s room!!!
Suddenly, the mood shifted.
"What? Where am l?"
"It’s too late for regrets now."
"Why and what would I regret?"
Abruptly, the self-proclaimed goddess’s words came to a halt, and the sound of footsteps could be heard.
"Knock knock"
"Hey, It’s time to stand up"
In the absence of any response, i watched the doorknob turn u unexpectedly with a small sign.
"Can I come in?"
A dark-haired girl cautiously peeked in and entered the room. Her expression was tense, and the voice calling me was cold and devoid of emotion.
"Why didn’t you say anything when you were already awake!?"
Her eyes seemed filled with anxiety. As if she was observing a criminal on the verge of committing a crime.
As I prepared to get out of bed, she flinched and took a step back.
"Ah, alright then I’ll go downstairs first..."
"Wait a moment."
"Why?"
She gestured with her eyes and hands as if saying be quick
Here came a blonde woman, exuding poise and confidence. It was quite peculiar. She looked stunning. She stood there looking at me with disgust in the midst of an uncomfortable silence.
I hesitated for a moment before getting the words out
"Who I’m I to you?"
"..."
Was the question strange? She stared back with a baffling expression. The conversation didn’t progress. As I seemed about to voice my thoughts again, she hurried down the stairs without another word. The goddess chuckled as she watched me standing there in utter bewilderment.
"How does it feel to see Yuna Ashford in person? You basically called her trash"
So that was her name. Yuna Ashford. And since the goddess was placing her alongside my review, it was becoming undeniably clear, I was inside the game.
Inside the game I had reviewed on Yuto’s PC.
"Judging by your unsightly appearance, it would take you a thousand years to woo even one of my secret heroines! Ha!"
The goddess’s words solidified my suspicions entirely. And apparently, a certain misunderstanding needed addressing. Or rather needed manufacturing.
"Dear goddess."
"Hmph. What? Have you decided to apologise? Well it’s a bit late for that."
She chuckled
I knew that this audacious blonde goddess possessed enigmatic powers. Which was precisely why the next words required careful delivery.
"I didn’t write it, you know?"
"Pardon?"
Her eyes trembled intensely.
"The review. I didn’t write it. I was at my friend’s place, Her’s account was still logged in on his PC. I was just browsing. I didn’t even realise a review had been posted."
It wasn’t entirely a lie...Technically.
"That’s... that’s a lie. I’ve investigated everything!"
"You investigated the account. Not the person behind the keyboard."
"Wait! So you’re not ’YUt∅569’"
"Yes, that’s not me!!"
Evidently, Mira was attempting to verify the facts with her mysterious magical abilities.
A moment later.
"I’m so, so sorry!"
She knelt before me.
And somewhere deep in my chest, a very small, very guilty voice whispered that this was going to come back to haunt me.
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