[PARADISE PRINCESSES - PRIVATE]
[09:02 AM]
Maddie:roll call. who survived last night
Priya:barely
Yuki:my feet are filing a lawsuit
Gianna:I’m still full. the catering was a religious experience
Zara:three separate gossip channels have already posted "inside the most exclusive birthday on the island" with zero actual photos. we starved the vultures. proud of us
Natasha:can we talk about the birthday girl
Natasha:because I have QUESTIONS
Maddie:oh you mean the birthday girl who took one look at her presents, saw a midnight PcLaren, and ABANDONED HER OWN PARTY
Priya:LMAO she really left
Zara:if she wanted a car reveal that badly she could’ve called us. Preston Media does beautiful unveilings. we’d have given her a drone shot
Yuki:no goodbye. no speech. taillights.
Gianna:we didn’t know you liked cars that much babe?? you could’ve said something?? we’d have gotten you keychains??
Clara:In her defense, it was a very beautiful machine.
Jade:the way she walked past ALL of us like we were furniture 💀
Maddie:furniture she was fond of. she nodded at me
Priya:What about the Dean. THE Dean. dressed like she was there to end bloodlines
Gianna:ivory silk should be illegal actually
Jade:even the hidden guards got nervous and they’re not supposed to exist
Maddie:a beautiful nightmare and her winged shadow walk into a party. sounds like a joke. wasn’t one
Clara:Whatever one thinks of the Dean, that was couture worn correctly. My grandmother would have stood up.
Natasha:and Adriana?? amber your mother looked INCREDIBLE
Amber:she really did 🥹 she was nervous about the dress too
Priya:nervous?? she looked like the reason the word elegant was invented
Jade:she and Roxanne standing together was a whole era. two queens.
Yuki:Roxanne in that gown... sierra your mom is genuinely one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in real life
Sierra:I’ll tell her. she’ll pretend it’s nothing and then glow for a week
Zara:Roxanne and Adriana together was the single most photographable moment of the night and no camera was allowed near it. criminal. history will mourn
Gianna:and Melissa 😭 the warmth on that woman. she hugged me and I almost told her my all secrets
Maddie:that’s our Queen for you, she could run a country with that smile. possibly does
Clara:The mothers won the night. Respectfully. It was not close.
Natasha:agreed. we were decoration. they were history
Amber:OKAY but different mystery. who was the hot girl standing with the old man and that boy all night??
Priya:THE ONE BY THE SERVICE SIDE?? I noticed her too
Yuki:sharp eyes. stood like a blade. gorgeous in a way that felt classified
Gianna:the old man is the hotel manager, right, Maddie?? and the boy looked related. same posture. same everything
Jade:family then. but WHO IS SHE
Natasha:more importantly. did anyone else catch Phei checking her out
Priya:I DID
Yuki:I SAW IT. one full scan. head to heels. subtle but I have trained eyes
Amber:he’s SHAMELESS. at a birthday. surrounded by all of us. still scanning
Maddie:babe the man breathes and it counts as flirting. she felt it too. she moved like three feet away after
Gianna:SHE FELT IT LMAOOO
Clara:The poor woman repositioned herself behind her father. Tactical retreat.
Priya:tactical retreat?? babe she nearly became a historical casualty
Natasha:honestly if Phei ever looks at me like that in public I’m suing for emotional damages
Elena:Please. You would frame the lawsuit and hang it above your bed.
Natasha:and?
Gianna:shameless. accurate. concerning.
Priya:speaking of success stories... VICTORIA.
Priya:congratulations on your achievements with Phei babe 👏👏
Yuki:CONGRATULATIONS 🎉
Gianna:a toast to the glow-up of the CENTURY
Zara:we should do a segment on it honestly. "enemies to orbit: a paradise story"
Natasha:a month ago you two were at each other’s throats. you nearly DIED. and now look at you. thriving in his orbit
Maddie:from cold war to warm everything
Victoria:I did not "nearly die."
Victoria:And there are no "achievements." We coexist.
Jade:"we coexist" she says. babe we SAW you last night
Priya:the way you watched him across the hall was NOT coexisting
Zara:that was surveillance with feelings
Victoria:I am leaving this chat.
Maddie:you say that weekly and yet 😌
Victoria:I am not glowing.
Maddie:babe your dignity has a halo now
Jade:your denial is wearing perfume
Victoria:I dislike all of you.
Elena:You dislike us with suspiciously improved skin.
Natasha:anyway. different question. and I need everyone to be honest
Natasha:was it just me or did Phei pay a LOT of attention to Jade last night
Priya:IT WASN’T JUST YOU
Yuki:oh we ALL saw it
Gianna:personally welcomed at the door?? hand extended?? "princess"??
Clara:he did NOT greet the rest of us at the door I’m just saying
Gianna:Jade what are your secrets. spill
Priya:what did you DO
Jade:or maaaaybe I’m just more beautiful than all of you and he has eyes? 😌
Elena:Take that back.
Jade:I will not
Elena:Take it back or I’m getting the measuring tape.
Priya:OH IT’S HAPPENING
Priya:MEASURING WHAT EXACTLY
Clara:beauty apparently. like normal people. very scientific. definitely not unhinged.
Gianna:no no let them cook. I want data.
Natasha:"Park vs Ashford: the curve audit"
Clara:Absolutely not.
Maddie:absolutely yes. democracy demands it.
Jade:measuring tape?? babe bring a mirror, save yourself the trip
Elena:I have a mirror. It agrees with me. Politely but firmly.
Gianna:place your bets. Park vs Ashford. beauty war. no survivors
Natasha:jade has the elegance
Priya:elena has the face card that never declines
Clara:For the record, you are both stunning and this debate is beneath you—
Elena:Stay out of it, Clara.
Clara:Understood.
Jade:don’t worry clara. some of us don’t need measurements. some of us cause reactions on sight.
Elena:Reactions can be allergic.
Jade:jealousy is not an allergy.
Elena:It does make people swell.
Priya:ELENA???
Sierra:🚬
Priya:...
Yuki:okay I don’t want to state the obvious
Yuki:but that emoji is Sierra saying "debate all you want bitches, but he chose me first, no matter how beautiful y’all are"
Maddie:THAT’S MY GIRL
Gianna:the AUDACITY of one single emoji
Natasha:sierra get over yourself we ALL know how it started 💀
Priya:we were THERE
Jade:the whole academy knows how it started babe
Sierra:🤷♀️
Sierra:and yet here I am. forever the second woman, and the first of you lots or any girl in his harem.
Yuki:"forever the second woman" she’s not even mad about it
Maddie:she’s SETTLED in it. decorated. hung curtains
Elena:The confidence is genuinely upsetting.
Jade:fine. FINE. moving on before her ego needs its own group chat
Priya:oh no no no we are NOT moving on. elena. ELENA.
Priya:you think we forgot the KISS
Yuki:THE KISS
Gianna:on the LIPS. in front of the DEAN. in front of EVERYONE
Natasha:ladies. official announcement. the Little Virgin Succubus has joined the battle officially. govern yourselves accordingly
Maddie:sound the alarms 🚨 she’s been in training her whole life and she’s chosen violence
Elena:Fine. Between us? I don’t intend to hold the Virgin part of that title much longer anyway.
Natasha:ELENA ASHFORD
Yuki:THE AUDACITY. SHE JUST SAID IT
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