Surprisingly, sleep came easily last night.
Getting out of bed in the morning is much, much harder. Comfort and warmth pin me under the sheets, while shame and dread weigh me down.
Needless to say, I have time to think. At least until Cari drags me to the bathtub.
First and foremost, I know what I have to do today. I have to apologize to Bella for last night. Then I have to somehow find a way to stay close without being... too close.
Just the thought of her makes my whole body warm, and the idea of staying away from her sends a pang of regret through my stomach.
Gods damn it all, this is going to suck.
Still, I renew my transfer of mana through the Ring of Remembrance. Despite how I’m feeling right now, I still owe her. Just because I’m awkward doesn’t mean I can’t help her at all.
Cari exits the bathroom then, and I tuck my head further under the blankets, doing my best to ignore her narrow-eyed glare. Then I hear her sigh.
“I know you’re upset, but at least come take a bath. It’ll help.”
I peek at her over the blankets and find her offering me a commiserating smile. A mighty groan of disappointment slips free while I scoot off the bed as droopily as I can manage.
She giggles at my antics, but steps over to help me to the bathroom despite knowing full well that I’m just hamming it up.
After settling into the warm water with sighs of contentment, she finally speaks.
“You know… if it’s getting that bad, you could always ask Krissy to help.”
The heat of the tub rushes straight to my cheeks. “What?! N-no, that’s… no. I can’t do that. You know I don’t want to get attached to someone again!”
She shrugs. “Haven’t you already done that?”
“No, I haven’t,” I grouse. “I’m just… it’s just my damned month, that’s all.”
She eyes me skeptically, then shrugs again and grabs a bar of soap to lather herself with.
“I’m serious! I can’t do that to someone again. Not like I did to you.”
“Emi…” she murmurs, but I shake my head before she can say anything more.
She sighs, then holds the soap out to me.
“Anyways, I’m not horny,” I grumble, lathering myself up as well. “At least, I haven’t been yet. And even if I were, I can handle that myself, thank you very much.”
I pass the soap back and groan.
“The issue is that I’ve been flirting with her for days, Cari. And didn’t even realize it. I thought…” I trail off, trying to find the right words, then give up and rub my face roughly. “I thought I just picked up bad habits from Krissy and Nyria. It never even crossed my mind I was acting out of character until last night.”
I hug my knees to my chest for a moment, thinking about how I’m supposed to handle this going forward. It’s so much worse than any of my previous cycles that I’m not even sure I can handle it. Not alone, anyways.
“So you’re worried you might lose control, is that about right?” she asks, suddenly.
I nod. "Or make things awkward."
She laughs.
"I'm afraid that ship has already set sail, dear sister," she says, shaking her head at me.
I bury my face in my hands with a whimper.
"But," she continues gently, "I'll make sure you don’t do anything too stupid going forward. Problem solved.”
I give her a look. She seems serious, but I can’t understand how she’s treating this so lightly.
“What? You said I smell calming, right? So… as long as you’re near me, you’ll be more in control! Uh… probably…” she says, tapping her chin, “...okay, maybe. Either way! If it comes down to it, I’ll just slap some sense into you.”
I want to object, but her reasoning is solid despite how much it frustrates me.
“Yeah, okay. That might work,” I mumble into my knees. “Thanks, Cari.”
“Mhm. Anyways, how are you going to explain ditching her last night? Do you want to tell her the truth, or…?”
I groan again. “I’ll tell her the truth. I owe her that much. Even if it’s going to fucking suck.”
She smirks at me, and we go on like that for a while longer. After finishing up and getting dressed, we make our way hand in hand to Bella’s room, and I knock on the door. There’s a beat of silence before her voice comes through.
“Who is it?”
She sounds nervous, or… maybe even scared? I answer quickly, not wanting to let her stew in her emotions, whatever they may be.
“It’s Emilia. Cari’s with me. Can we come in?”
Another beat of silence, then she says, “Prove it. Stop sending me mana.”
Her demand confuses me for a moment, but I stop sending mana through the ring anyways. The door swings open the moment I do, and my pulse quickens at the sight of her. I stare for a moment, fascination warring with concern.
She looks furiously composed, her hair done up in a braid that seems almost too tight, her clothes immaculate and neater than I’d ever seen, posture rigid and all but screaming noble pride.
Like she’s trying to overcompensate for something.
And worse, she looks incredibly tired. There are dark bags visible under her eyes despite the clear attempt to hide them with makeup, and her fingers tremble slightly where I can see them peeking out from her tightly folded arms. Evidence that she slept poorly, or not at all.
Altogether… it’s too much, and it sends a wave of guilt through me.
Because I left? But—
“What?” she snaps, cutting through my confusion.
Then the scent of her washes out into the hallway like a tidal wave, as if it’d been building up inside and now that door is open...
Never in my life have I swooned, but I do so now. My legs wobble and threaten to give out on me as I instinctively lean forward to get just a bit closer to her and nearly fall in the process.
Cari stops me, and I freeze, realizing what I’d just done.
“Gods, you weren’t kidding Emi,” she says, throwing my arm over her shoulder and all but carrying me inside, gently pushing past Bella, her own body positioned between us.
For her part, Bella seems momentarily stunned. She stares open mouthed at Cari, as if she’d slapped her.
“You’re just going to barge in, as if—”
“I’m sorry,” I interrupt, desperate to get my words out before any more assumptions are made.
“You needn’t apologize,” she says. “I'm fine. Now, if that’s all…”
She frowns at us as Cari gets me situated on the couch before settling in beside me. She’s so close that the familiar cloves and honey washes out most of the spice and sweetness of the room.
Not entirely, but... it helps.
Gods, she’s an angel.
“You don't look it,” I quip, smirking at her.
“I said I’m fine.”
I wince at her words. I’d done it again, entirely unintentionally.
“That’s… not what I meant to say. I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly last night.”
She stiffens at that, and I catch a hint of hurt in her eyes. Then it’s gone, hidden away as if it never existed.
“Then why did you?” she snaps, her mask fraying at the edges.
I open my mouth to answer, but she holds her hand up to stop me.
“I don’t want to know. Now, if you please?” she says, angrily gesturing at the door.
“Oh, hells, you two are so—ugh!” Cari throws her hands up. “Bella!”
Her voice cracks through the air so sharp that both Bella and I flinch at the sound of it.
“Emilia is going through estrus right now. She ran away because of that. Not because of…” she waves a hand dismissively, “…whatever the hells you think is going on.”
Silence fills the room, then. Bella blinks, mouth opening as if to argue, pauses, then speaks.
“If you think you can excuse her rudeness with that, you are sorely mistaken.” Her words start measured, but heat quickly builds beneath them.
“I know of beastkin cycles. They are more intense than a human’s, yes, but not so terrible that they cause one to abandon—” Her voice cracks, and she forces the rest through sheer will, “—to abandon their duties.”
“Estrus?”
All three of us turn toward the doorway. Krissy stands there, leaning casually against the frame, Nyria just behind her. Both of them look far too entertained for my liking.
“Well, that certainly explains a lot,” she continues, grinning. “And here I thought you’d finally decided to make a move, Mistress.”
“Krissy!” I hiss, mortified.
She ignores me completely, gliding into the room with a sway in her hips that seems deliberately unhelpful.
“You really shouldn’t tease her right now,” Nyria says, though there’s a glimmer of amusement in her tone. She gives Bella a once-over, then adds, “You look exhausted. Perhaps you should lie down before you collapse.”
“I am fine,” Bella insists, chin lifting ever so slightly.
“Sure you are, honey,” Krissy says with mock sympathy, before resting a hand gently on Bella’s shoulder.
Bella stiffens, her eyes darting about the room as if searching for a way out.
Krissy’s voice softens, her expression shifting into something more sincere.
“You’ve had a rough time, haven’t you? Nearly getting kidnapped, being saved, the chaos afterwards… it’s no wonder you’re latching on a bit. Happens to a lot of people after a scare," she says, pausing to look at me. "I would know.”
Bella freezes, her eyes going wide and flicking between Krissy and me.
Krissy gives her a sweet, apologetic smile. “Yes, Emilia saved me too. She means well, but she’s a bit of a hero. Saves the day, moves on, forgets that the people she saves don’t always bounce back quite so fast.”
Her words sting more than I expect, because she’s right. I made the same mistake with her, and she’s speaking through experience. Worse, she’s being kind about her call out.
But… Bella? Really? Is it the same for her?
I think back to how Krissy hid her dependence from me, and realization hits me like a hammer. Bella’s far, far more reserved, with all those pesky preconceived notions about what is and isn’t proper.
So of course she’d hide it from me. Why would I expect her to do otherwise?
Then my mind is consumed with the desire to comfort her. To just be there. The heat beneath my skin turns even more intense, warring against Cari’s comforting presence, and I lose myself in the mix.
Nyria sighs from beside Krissy. “Subtle as ever.”
“Subtle’s overrated,” Krissy says breezily, still smiling at Bella. “Isn’t that right, Cari?”
Cari just grunts her affirmation before pulling me back down onto the couch, forcing my head into her lap.
I hadn’t even realized I was getting up.
It’s getting worse.
My gaze is locked on Bella as I take in every micro-expression, every wrinkle of stress and concern, every twitch as she tries to remain in control of herself despite being so easily dissected by Krissy.
The world swims as a fresh wave of need slams into my mind, and every part of my body becomes so sensitive that I can feel the individual fibers on Cari’s leggings against my cheek.
Nyria frowns at me. “Oh? Just how potent is your cycle? ”
She moves closer as she asks, and I let out a whine when Bella is blocked from my view. I try to sit up, but Cari holds me to her lap firmly.
When she gets within two steps of me, she freezes, her eyes glazing over as she reads something from the System. Then she shudders.
“Oh… oh my. Krissy, you should feel this.”
Krissy quirks a brow at her but comes closer as well. She locks up five steps away, eyes flicking quickly through her own System notifications before snapping to me.
“Oh dear,” she says.
Her gaze shifts to something sharp and decisive. Then she moves, fast. She brushes past Nyria, practically shoving her out of the way before kneeling in front of me, then—
Soft lips press to mine. There’s another familiar scent now—roses and silk—pushing through the haze.
The heat in my core starts to fade, taking with it the need and the want and the desperation, all drained in torrents through our connection. It’s pulled from me with delicate slivers of mana that race through me, tickling the edges of my control and gently sealing the cracks.
When she finally pulls away, she’s gasping for air and sweating profusely.
“Nyria, go get the strongest medicines you can find," she says between gulps of air.
Nyria stares at me, flabbergasted.
"Now, Nyria!"
Just like that, Nyria sprints from the room, only stopping to loudly ask a butler where the nearest apothecary is. Krissy slumps against coffee table behind her, taking a moment to catch her breath.
The room feels too quiet, now. Cari’s still holding me, Bella’s frozen where she stands, and I can still feel Krissy’s mana humming faintly under my skin.
“W-what just happened?” I ask.
“That…” Bella says slowly, “…is exactly what I would like to know as well.”
When our eyes lock, a soft thrum ripples through my core. It’s weaker now, dulled and distant, but still there. Quiet, persistent, and utterly impossible to ignore. I feel the heat slowly building back up, so I look away, desperately searching for something else to focus on.
That’s when I realize Cari’s fingers are scratching gently behind my ears, attempting to coax calm from the chaos.
I hadn’t even noticed.
“This is so much worse than I thought,” I groan.
Krissy giggles, swaying where she sits. “Aw, don’t be… be sad, Mistress! Ish okay. I’ll… I’ll eat all those peshky desires any… anytime. Hoo! Wow, you are… mmm…”
Then she tilts sideways and collapses in a heap, snoring softly before she even hits the rug.
Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!
Use arrow keys (or A / D) to PREV/NEXT chapter
