Please Divorce Me, Alpha! {BL}

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Like has a pretty bizarre sense of humor. Take three days ago, for instance. I was holed up in my bedroom, sporting a bruised face and debating whether to swipe my dad’s watch collection to fund a new life somewhere else.

And now? I was in a private dining room with a mafia Don, working out a temporary marriage deal worth seventy million dollars...all while gorging on enough food that a nutritionist would probably call for backup.

Honestly, I was way more into this new scenario.

At least there was dessert.

I leaned back in my chair, eyeing my stomach, which had ballooned to the point where it didn’t look like a stomach anymore but rather a small, well-fed planet orbiting my torso.

"I...I think I’m dying," I announced.

Across from me, Lorenzo Castelli glanced up from the glass he was holding.

He seemed entirely unfazed by the fact that he’d just agreed to marry me for some period of time and pay me seventy million bucks afterward.

Naturally, some people negotiate deals that could change their lives, while others just sit there looking devastatingly handsome while they do it.

Actually, I hated him even more because I was starting to think he was fully aware of his own attractiveness.

The private dining room screamed elegance with its dark wood paneling, tall windows showcasing the rain-soaked city, and enough pricey furniture to furnish a whole neighborhood of moderately wealthy folks.

Lorenzo fit right in, he lounged at the far end of the table, his black suit fitting him so perfectly it felt like it was designed to make everyone else look like they were in rags.

I spent the whole dinner trying not to gawk at him. I failed a few times...quietly, with dignity. Mostly.

Lorenzo glanced at my plates, then back at me. "Are you done now?"

I stared at him, then down at the three empty plates around me. "Excuse me?"

His expression didn’t budge. "You’ve been eating for twenty minutes."

"Yeah?"

"You said you were full."

"I am."

"Then why are you still eating?"

I regarded the small piece of roasted potato on my fork as if it had personally offended him.

"Because I’ve spent most of my life being told I can’t eat whatever I want, and I don’t know when I’ll have another chance to dine somewhere people aren’t paying attention to whether I finish my potatoes or not."

For a moment, Lorenzo was silent. Something flickered on his face. Then, he reached for the small service bell beside him.

I frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Ordering dessert."

My eyebrows shot up. "There’s dessert?!"

The waiter appeared a moment later, and Lorenzo placed the order without glancing my way. "Chocolate cake. The biggest slice you’ve got."

My fork froze halfway to my mouth as I turned slowly towards him. He seemed way too calm.

"The chocolate cake," he added, "that got ruined at the charity gala."

I blinked at him. "You actually remembered the type of cake?"

His mouth twitched. "Its hard to forget something that made you behave as if it was a national tragedy when it got ruined."

"It was."

Lorenzo leaned back, a playful smile creeping onto his face. "Then think of this as compensation."

I don’t think I’d ever been so touched by another person in my life. Seriously, I almost considered kneeling right then and there.

Not in a romantic way, or even metaphorically... I was ready to get down and kiss this guy’s shoes.

Someone remembered the cake, the cake that had been my sole mission that night, which got ruined when I bumped into a ridiculously good-looking stranger who turned out to be the son of a mafia don I was now, for some reason, about to marry.

Life had really come full circle in the craziest way.

When the cake arrived, it was a monster. Dark chocolate, layered with shiny ganache, and topped with delicate chocolate curls that probably had their own bank accounts. I stared at it in what felt like religious awe.

Lorenzo watched me pick up my fork, some I was able to summon appetite despite being so full.

"You’re going to make yourself sick." he said.

"I’ve been sick before."

"That’s not reassuring."

"It’s the best answer I have."

The moment I took my first bite, I nearly closed my eyes. "Oh."

Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"This is the greatest apology in human history!"

He chuckled, a brief, soft sound that caught me off guard and nearly made me drop my fork. It changed the way he looked, albeit only slightly.

For a brief moment, he didn’t seem like the cold, imposing man who could silence a room just by walking into it.

He looked a bit relaxed, almost amused. But then that expression vanished.

I stared at him, and he returned the gaze. "What?" he questioned.

"Nothing."

"You were staring."

"I was thinking."

"About?"

I took another bite of cake. "That you might actually be human."

His eyes narrowed a bit. "I assure you, I am."

"Debatable, that why the name Dracula makes sense."

Before he could respond, Lydia came up to us, her gaze immediately landing on the empty plates.

Then the cake. Then me. I watched as her face registered utter horror. She’d spent the whole evening looking like she’d eaten a lemon, and now watching me indulge had clearly been too much.

"Alex," she spat through clenched teeth.

I smiled innocently. "Hi, Lydia."

"Don’t you think you’ve had enough to eat?"

I glanced at my cake, then back at her. "Nah."

Her nostrils flared. Lorenzo said nothing. He merely watched us with that annoyingly amused expression that had been grating on me all night until Lydia left.

When I finally polished off the cake, I leaned back with a satisfied sigh. I had eaten so much that if someone tried to air lift me out of here, I wouldn’t have complained.

When we got back to the entrance, Lydia grabbed my arm and yanked me aside. "You’ve embarrassed this family enough tonight."

I looked at her. "I just ate cake."

"You ate like you’d never seen food before."

"I’ve never been allowed to eat cake before."

She looked like she was about to say something else, but Lorenzo stepped closer, and she quickly adjusted her face into that polite mask reserved for people who were richer and more powerful than her.

A complete one-eighty.

"M...Mr. Castelli," she said cautiously, "I apologize for Alex’s behavior. I assure you, this isn’t how we raised him."

I nearly laughed. Because that was kind of true.

They had raised me to be quiet, obedient, thin, and useful. Unfortunately for them, they had somehow also created someone who was the complete opposite at the same time.

Lydia continued. "I completely understand if you’ve reconsidered the proposal after tonight."

I shot a glance at Lorenzo. His face was unreadable...then, slowly, he smiled. "No."

Lydia blinked in confusion. "No?"

"I haven’t reconsidered anything."

Her bewilderment was almost amusing to watch. Lorenzo turned to me. "I was unsure when I first met him."

I stared at him. Oh no, what was he up to now?

"But after having a private chat with Alex," he continued smoothly, "I realized I’d misjudged him."

I almost choked. Misjudged me? That was one way to put it.

"I now wholeheartedly believe he’s the perfect Omega for me."

What the everliving fuck?!

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