Raising the Villain in Wrong Way

She didn’t know her hair was silver and she looked like a breathtaking maiden. She just thought they were slacking off.

"What are you all staring at?" Ji’an barked, her voice booming across the courtyard. However, because the artifact was glitching, her usually smooth, deep young-master baritone came out sounding slightly softer, huskier, and incredibly, devastatingly alluring. "Did you lose your counting rhythm? Get back on the floor! The mud isn’t going to absorb itself!"

The boys did not get back on the floor.

The sound of her husky, commanding voice hit the courtyard like an aphrodisiac bomb. The aggressive dominance coming from such a delicate, divinely beautiful face triggered a mass, unprecedented outbreak of simp-behavior.

Senior Brother Kui was the first to break.

The elite scrambled up from the mud, completely ignoring Gu Zhiwei. He frantically wiped the sweat and grime from his chest, puffing out his muscles, and marched directly toward the silver-haired goddess.

Kui stopped three feet in front of Ji’an, dropping to one knee, placing his hand over his heart in a gesture of courtship.

"Fairy Maiden!" Kui declared loudly, his voice booming with arrogant, desperately thirsty confidence. "I am Kui! First Disciple of the Azure Dragon Venom Vanguard! I do not know from which celestial peak you have descended, but your radiance outshines the miasma sun! If you seek an escort through this toxic valley, my blades are yours to command! I will slay a hundred beasts to prove my worth to you!"

Ji’an stared down at the tattooed boy.

Her brain completely halted.

’Fairy Maiden?’ Ji’an thought, staring at him blankly. ’Did he just call me a Fairy Maiden? Is he concussed? Has the neurotoxin finally eaten through his frontal lobe?’

But before Ji’an could even process the absurdity of the interaction, the Celestial Sword boys violently reacted.

"BACK AWAY FROM HER, YOU TOXIC BRUTE!" Lu Jianheng roared, his icy-blue sword aura erupting as he sprinted across the courtyard, entirely forgetting that Kui had been his friend just two minutes ago.

Jianheng shoved Kui out of the way, dropping to one knee right in front of Ji’an.

The Sword Lord looked up at her, his aristocratic face flushed a brilliant red. He placed both hands on the hilt of his invisible sword, bowing his head reverently.

"My Lady," Jianheng spoke, his voice trembling with his wild imaginations, full of romance. "Do not listen to this uncultured swamp-dweller! You clearly hail from the noble peaks! Your silver hair... your ethereal grace... you must be of Sovereign Xie’s esteemed bloodline! I am Lu Jianheng, Heir to the Sword Peak! If you are seeking a partner of equal nobility and flawless etiquette, I formally request permission to court you!"

Ji’an’s jaw dropped.

’My Lady?!’ Ji’an’s transmigrator soul began to astral-project out of her body. ’Sovereign Xie’s bloodline?! Court me?! Lu Jianheng, I literally beat you up with a frying pan three days ago! What the actual fuck is happening?!’

"Do not monopolize the maiden, Brother Jianheng!" Gu Zhiwei bounded over, practically shoving the Sword Lord aside, his golden eyes shining with absolute, starry-eyed adoration.

Zhiwei dropped to both knees, looking up at Ji’an like she was the literal sun.

"Fairy Sister!" Zhiwei beamed, his golden aura pulsing with aggressive, golden-retriever puppy love. "Your voice is like a commanding melody! You carry a spatula! I love cooking! We have so much in common! Please, allow me to take you to a hotpot dinner! I will carry all your heavy ingredients! I will be your most devoted husband!"

"I AM A BEAST LORD!" Hu Yanlie roared, completely bulldozing past Zhiwei, slamming his massive fists into the stone, his feral eyes locked onto Ji’an with intense, primal lust. "I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HOTPOT! I WILL BRING YOU THE CARCASS OF A DRAGON! YOU ARE FIERCE! I LIKE FIERCE WOMEN! BE MY MATE!"

"A marriage to the Beast Lord is a fiscal nightmare!" Wen Shiru yelled, sprinting over, frantically waving his golden abacus. "Fairy Maiden! I can offer you a three-percent stake in the continental spice trade! A life of absolute luxury and compound interest! Marry into the Wen Consortium!"

Within thirty seconds, Lin Ji’an was completely surrounded by eighty half-naked, sweating, desperately yelling men, all frantically attempting to out-propose each other, shoving each other out of the way, completely blinded by her glitching artifact and her new silver hair.

"MARRY ME!"

"NO, COURT ME! I HAVE BETTER POSTURE!"

"I WILL BUILD YOU A CASTLE OF POISON!"

Ji’an stood in the epicenter of the matrimonial mosh-pit.

’Eh? Didn’t they swear loyalty to me just two months ago?’

’These guys sure are good at changing targets...’

She looked at Gu Zhiwei, who was literally offering her a bouquet of hastily conjured holy-light flowers.

She looked at Lu Jianheng, who was quoting highly embarrassing, overly flowery poetry about the moon. She looked at Hu Yanlie, who was flexing his pectorals so hard he looked like he was going to explode.

The density of the second-hand embarrassment was so intense it physically hurt. Her spine crawled. Her face flushed a brilliant, furious, humiliated red.

’They don’t know it’s me,’ Ji’an realized, a cold, terrifying fury igniting in her newly forged Body Fusion core. ’My disguise must be failing. And their immediate, instinctual reaction to seeing a new woman enter the courtyard... is to immediately try to aggressively recruit her into their harems?! How dare they?!’

They were dogs.

They were hormone-poisoned, absolute dogs!

And they were about to be put down.

Ji’an didn’t yell or didn’t scream.

She slowly reached down to her calf, unbuckled the leather retention straps.

Her hand wrapped around the smooth, heavy, perfectly seasoned iron handle of her Black Iron Spatula.

As her fingers locked around the metal, she channeled exactly five percent of her newly ascended, world-shattering Qi directly into her arm.

"You guys told me it was too early for me to get married and get a harem, and now you want a bride for yourself? How convenient," Ji’an whispered.

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