Rebirth: I have Monopoly System

Li Shiming put his shirt down, sat back on his stool, and after a moment’s hesitation, told the truth. "I’m five-foot-nine, one hundred and twenty-seven pounds!"

Chang Yuanyuan scoffed disdainfully. "Tch. Those are just ’skinny abs.’ Tang Taizong, are you so thin because you’ve been working that hand of yours too much? I seriously doubt you’d be able to handle me if we got together!"

Li Shiming looked indignant, tapping the table lightly as he frowned. "Don’t underestimate me! If you’ve got the guts, let’s find out!"

"A challenge? Fine! I refuse to believe I can’t handle a little rookie like you!" Chang Yuanyuan fished her ID card out of her purse, slapped it on the table with a sharp CRACK, and shot a provocative glance at Li Shiming.

Li Shiming gulped. He hadn’t expected Chang Yuanyuan to actually be serious.

Compared to Wen Meng and Lai Yi, Chang Yuanyuan’s looks were just okay—passable. But cleaned up, she was the type that grew on you. Still, as a dancer, she had an incredible figure, and that was what truly tempted Li Shiming.

But as the old saying goes, he had the will of a thief but lacked the nerve. Li Shiming gave a sheepish smile. "Sister Yuanyuan, I was wrong! Please, be the bigger person and let me off the hook!"

Wu Yun watched this unfold and couldn’t help but facepalm. ’This guy deserves to be single. When an opportunity like this comes along, you have to bite the bullet and go for it! Worry about ’taking responsibility’ later!’

’Besides, it’s not like it’s Chang Yuanyuan’s first time. By that logic, Li Shiming is the one getting the short end of the stick!’

Unfortunately, Wu Yun could only see people’s Affinity scores toward *himself*. Based on her actions alone, he could only guess that while Chang Yuanyuan didn’t dislike Li Shiming, she didn’t particularly like him either.

So what she’d just said was likely more of a joke than anything.

So Wu Yun stepped in with a smile, playing mediator. "Alright, alright! You can’t just put something so private on the table like this! If you two want to ’fight it out,’ arrange it in private! The hotpot’s boiling, let’s get this tripe cooked!"

As he spoke, Wu Yun picked up a slice of kidney and dropped it into the pot.

"Boss! You need to beef up your kidneys, too?" Li Shiming said cheekily.

Everyone burst out laughing. Wen Meng, blushing, added with a smile, "Your boss doesn’t need any help. He’s already got four kidneys!"

It took a moment for the joke to land, and then Li Shiming cried out, "I don’t believe it!~"

Before he could finish, Liu Yongheng smacked him on the back of the head. "Shut up. One more word and I’ll carve out your kidneys and we’ll boil ’em on the spot!"

"No, don’t! I might have kidney stones! Oh, and my kidneys are pretty gamey! They’ve got a real strong kick after you eat them!"

"Get lost! What’s a keyboard warrior like you got to be so cocky about!"

...

The group continued to eat hotpot while catching up on the latest school happenings.

The most sensational topic was the affair between Li Yuantao and Deng Huan.

Li Shiming launched into the gossip, "That Chairman Li probably fools around with girls all the time. He’s not a good guy at all—not like an innocent soul such as myself~"

"Damn it, you keep spouting bullshit and the next thing we’ll be boiling is your pig mouth!" Liu Yongheng cursed.

"Yongheng, I knew you had wicked intentions toward me! I treat you like a brother, and you just want to kiss me!" Li Shiming’s voice was dripping with that signature smart-ass tone.

Wu Yun wanted to hear about the after-effects of the Misfortune Talisman, so he cut in, "Get to the point already!"

Li Shiming lowered the arm he’d raised to fend off Liu Yongheng’s hand and laughed. "As they say, ’play with fire and you’ll get burned.’ First, word got out that Chairman Li knocked up a girl named Deng Huan. When she went to confront him, he supposedly got down on one knee and proposed to her that very same night!"

"Well, that’s good, isn’t it? At least our Chairman Li is taking responsibility!" Lai Yi was no stranger to Li Yuantao; she and the other girls had been there when he was trying to woo Wen Meng.

Li Shiming let out a sly chuckle and leaned in conspiratorially. "Ahh, but that’s where you’re wrong! There’s a hidden twist to this story."

With that, Li Shiming picked up his glass of soy milk, frowned with great solemnity, and downed it in one gulp. He then let out a heavy sigh, as if he’d just finished a shot of hard liquor.

"Your Majesty! This humble consort has poured you more milk! Now hurry up and tell us what happened next!" Chang Yuanyuan’s curiosity was thoroughly piqued. She grabbed the carton of soy milk and topped off Li Shiming’s glass.

Li Shiming shot Chang Yuanyuan an appreciative glance and chuckled. "Mm, this pupil is teachable!"

"So, my namesake, Li Yuantao, is 22—old enough to legally marry. And Deng Huan just turned 20."

"The two of them talked it over with their families, picked an auspicious date, and went back to Li Yuantao’s hometown to register their marriage! I think it was actually on Singles’ Day."

News that Li Yuantao got his marriage certificate circulated a bit around school, but it didn’t get very far. The university administration probably hushed it up.

After all, while it was legal, he was the Student Union Chairman. For him to be leading the charge on something like this, it was a huge loss of face for the university!

"So, the university is fully aware of what’s going on with Li Yuantao. But they’re worried about the negative publicity, so the student affairs office is planning to have him step down in January. The official reason will be that he ’failed to set a proper example,’ which will conveniently give him more time to take care of his pregnant fiancée!"

No one else at the table knew this. Besides Li Shiming, who had wangled his way into the student union, none of them had any interest in it.

"That smiling tiger Li Yuantao deserves it! He acts like such a perfect gentleman, but behind your back, he’s a total scumbag, just hitting on girls left and right!" Qin Rui, who had been quiet until now, said angrily. She held a secret: Li Yuantao had actually pursued her first, only to drop her and turn his attention to Wen Meng.

The other three girls quickly voiced their agreement with Qin Rui.

Li Shiming grinned. "Not so fast! You think that’s the end of it?"

Seeing Li Shiming’s cryptic expression, a possibility suddenly struck Wu Yun. "You’re not going to say the kid might not even be Li Yuantao’s, are you?"

Li Shiming gave Wu Yun a thumbs-up. "The boss is still the boss! So experienced!"

"Get lost! This is called being a Living Zhuge!" Wu Yun shot back with a laugh.

"The boss is right! According to my cousin, who works in the OB/GYN department, he’s seen this Deng Huan girl before."

Li Shiming glanced around, then leaned in and lowered his voice. "Here’s what happened."

"A guy in his thirties brought Deng Huan to the OB/GYN clinic. He wanted her to get an abortion, but she absolutely refused. The two of them even got into a huge argument right there in the hospital hallway!"

"Deng Huan wouldn’t budge. In the end, the man caved. He transferred a bunch of money to her—no idea how much—and that finally settled things."

Li Shiming said smugly, "Later, I went and looked up the date of Li Yuantao’s proposal. It was the exact same night my cousin told me about!"

At this, Li Shiming shook his head in awe. "When I figured out Deng Huan’s insane play, my jaw hit the floor. Talk about a seamless transition!"

"I even did some digging into Deng Huan’s reputation later. According to some unreliable sources, she’s a regular at all the major nightclubs! It makes me wonder if that first guy who gave her money got taken for a ride!"

"And poor Chairman Li Yuantao has gloriously become the guy left holding the bag! Who even knows who the real father is? I mean, there’s a non-zero chance it’s him, but still!"

Li Shiming smirked, stating confidently, "I bet you this isn’t over! Just imagine the look on Chairman Li’s face when he finds out he’s spent twenty years raising another man’s son for nothing!~"

After Li Shiming finished, the table erupted in schadenfreude-filled commentary, led mostly by the four girls exclaiming their thoughts.

Everyone knew Li Yuantao had pursued Wen Meng for a while, so they were already predisposed to think poorly of his character.

Listening to the girls gossip, Wu Yun felt a chill run down his spine. ’This whole affair is a serious wake-up call,’ he thought.

’With his system, he never bothered ’bringing an umbrella,’ since he knew he couldn’t get a woman pregnant. But he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t run into a calculating woman like that in the future.’

’Even if he’d never be the guy left holding the bag, he could still be blackmailed for a huge sum of money.’

’So, even with the system, and even after being very selective, he still had to keep it in his pants. As the saying goes, lust is a blade dangling over your head.’

’It’s fine to have fun, but you have to be damn careful who you have fun with!’

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