Rent-A-Boyfriend in A Reverse World

After managing to calm mom down and saving Isami's life, we went to a nearby stall that was selling protective amulets (omamori).

It's just that the people operating the stall are, um.... different than they would be in my old world.

They're shrine maidens, but not the "maidens" I'm used to.

"Welcome to our humble stall. We have a wide variety of protective amulets. Please, take a look." One of the shrine maidens said with a serene smile on his face. The gentleness in his voice matches the image I had.

Doing a quick scan of their outfits, I can see they're exactly what I'd seen in anime; a plain white upper robe (hakui), a long vibrant red pleated skirt (hibakama), white split-toed socks (tabi), and traditional wooden sandals (geta).

Except, the ones wearing them are a pair of young boys who look to be around highschool age.

'If I saw this when I'd just arrived in this world, I would definitely be weirded out by guys wearing shrine maiden outfits. Actually, I'm just gonna call them "shrine boys" instead. When I think of maiden, I immediately think of a girl, after all.'

One of the shrine boys, the one with long black hair, stared at me for a solid second. "Excuse me, okyaku-sama.¹Honored customer/guest Would you like an amulet for health?" he says. The black-haired shrine boy gestured to a cotton-pink omamori with what looks like white embroidered flowers. "This kenko kigan is filled with prayers for good health, warding off illnesses, and recovery." he says.

'He must think I'm really disabled. I'll recover soon, so I don't really need it...' I thought. I then raise my hand and say, "Thanks, but I don't need-" As I was about to decline the suggestion, I once again remembered a certain painful memory. My first death that came as a result of my poor health. 

I place my hand over my heart. Recalling the sensation of my heart squeezing. That unbearably tight, painful sensation that lasted for what felt like hours.

"...." I raise my head and look at the shrine boy again. "... Thank you. I'll take it." I say. 'There's no such thing as too healthy.'

Next to me, Isami hesitantly raised her hand. "E-Excuse me... D-Do you have ones for romance? The kind that will help me get a boyfriend..." she spoke quietly, her voice lacking in confidence even more than usual. Which I find a bit odd, since this isn't how she is with me. The only reason I could think of is because the boy she's talking to is a complete stranger.

'But a omamori for romance, huh....'

"Ah, yes we do, okyaku-sama. We have enmusubi omamoris that help tie good connections and bring harmony in relationships." The other shrine boy with long, dark violet hair replied to Isami with a serene smile. He gestured to a collection of pink omamoris with red and white flowers. 

Seeing them, Isami brightened up. Her lips curling into an open smile. "I'll take this one-"

"Chop!"

"Ow!" Isami flinched from the swift karate chop I delivered to her wrist. The attack caused her hand to open, and the love omamori conveniently fell back into place.

Isami then turned to me with a puzzled face that's pretty much saying, "What was that for??"

"A love omamori isn't what you need, Isami."  I say with a teasing tone. I reach for a health omamori and raise it. "You need a health amulet more than anything. I mean, you can't even carry me. So how can you expect to get a boyfriend if you're soooo weak, Isami~" I tease. The corners of my lips raised into a smirk.

"Uh- Uh- Uhhh.... Well...." Isami's jaw dropped slightly. Leaving her mouth agape. Her little gremlin brain is trying to come up with a comeback or at least a response, but there's hardly any she could reasonably use.

After a few seconds without a response, I concluded it my victory and looked back at the black-haired shrine boy from before. "Please add another kenko kigan to the bag."  I say with a polite smile. Different from the cheeky smirk I gave to Isami just now. "U-Understood."  The black-haired shrine boy replied with a surprised, yet amused look on his face.  

With that handled, I look to my right and tilt my head to look at mom. "Aren't you getting an amulet too, mama?"

"Kogh-?!" the black-haired shrine boy let out an indescribable noise. "Sorry, sorry!" he hurriedly apologized.

"... Okay..." I look back at mom. Her eyes intently scanning the various omamoris layed out. "Hm...." she grumbled.

'Guess she's still deciding what to choose.'

"Excuse me, but do you have any amulets for pregnancy?" Mom asked with a straight face. And, understandably, the two highschool-aged shrine boys got flustered from the inquiry. 

"P-P-Pregnancy?!"

"B-Babies?!"

The two said out loud. Eliciting attention from nearby visitors. As for me, I couldn't help but blush beet red. 'I-I know we had sex last night because we were compatible, but still!!'  I yelled internally. The fact that mom isn't embarrassed by it, makes it that much more embarrassing for me!

'Pregnancy?' Meanwhile, Isami processed what she just heard. 'Isn't the landlady a single mother? Did she get another artificial insemination done? But why? And why would she go that far to look for a pregnancy amulet?'  The questions filled Isami's head. But with her insufficient knowledge about Hana, there's no way she'll figure it out.

Unless...

Slowly, Isami looked down at the boy sitting on the wheelchair. '... Why did Andy react like this when the landlady said that..? Could they...'  Isami entertained the thought for a moment.

'No, there's no way.'  the little gremlin suddenly shook her head. 'There's no way Andy would do that... That thing only happens in doujins.'  she said to herself, pushing away the ridiculous idea that Andy, her next-door neighbor and crush, is sleeping with his own mother.

.

.

After the shrine boys finally calmed down, they picked out an anzan omamori that is filled with prayers for a smooth pregnancy, and a safe, healthy delivery.

"Here you go, Isami."  I say, handing Isami one of the two health amulets. "Oh- uh, yeah. Thanks, Andy." Isami says as she awkwardly receives the gift with both hands. 'Hm? Could it be...'  Seeing her reaction, a curious thought popped up into my head.

"Isami~" My lips curl into a playful grin. "Is this maybe your first time receiving a gift from a boy?"  I tease. At my question, Isami perked up and snapped to look at me with defensive-embarrassment. "N-No! I've received tons of gifts before!" she retorted, but it's hardly believable. If she didn't say "tons," then I might have believed her.

"Suurreee you did~"  I tease, holding back a laugh.

"I really did!"  Isami retorted. 

"Alright, but this one is special." 

"Huh?" 

"Because..." I raise my index finger and bring it to my cheek. Tilting my head, I part my lips. "An amulet given by a cute guy will save your life, you know?"  I say with a wink.

.

.

Later, at home.

"An amulet given by a cute guy will save your life, you know?"

"AHHHHH!!!"  I scream into my pillow. My feet vigorously kicking the mattress.

"Why did I say that?! Fuck you past me!! That was embarrassing!!! Ahhh!!!!"

The embarrassing memory stuck with me for a long couple weeks after that.

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