Rising Shards

With my friends' support, it was an easy decision to return to the dance floor to try and find the devils again. Less easy was actually finding them. I didn't realize how big just my own grade was after the shifting schools to combine Rising Shards and Wildfire Hearts. Even with the boys from Falling Shards not present, it was still a sea of people dancing in front of me under the rhythmically flashing lights.

I couldn't exactly go around asking, "Have you seen Sai and Anastasia?" in the middle of the dance floor, but I was somewhat tempted to. I surprised myself in just how much I wanted to see them again. I knew we got along (somewhat in Anastasia's case) but not well enough that I would have guessed I'd have almost a desperate desire to dance once more.

My ruminations on the two devils was interrupted by an argument near me. I'd somehow ended up on the perimeter of the dance floor on the opposite side of where I sat with Zeta and Oka.

"I came with you to this, that doesn't mean I have to dance with you the whole night," Ko said.

"Usually when you ask someone to a dance, and they agree, that usually means it's a date," Roxana said. "And you don't abandon a date after a few dances."

"It's not a date!"

Ko was in the middle of a tense chat with her friend Roxana. The Roxana that she apparently had a long history with. One who she couldn't trust herself to be around so much that it was the last straw in our fraying relationship.

"Whatever, I gotta go," Roxana said. The girl stormed off, sending people in front of her scattering. She did have an imposing figure, an athletic, muscular build that Ko probably very much enjoyed. But if she talked to Ko like that all the time...suffice to say, I had some concerns for my ex, so I followed her to one of the side tables. Ko didn't notice me until she'd already sat down.

"Oh. Hey." Ko said.

"Hello," I said. This was tense in its own way, but I couldn't just sit by and observe that. "Everything alright?"

"Psh, don't worry about me," Ko said.

"I can't help it," I said, sitting down. "We're still friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, of course we are," Ko said. "I know I'm the last person you wanna give advice to, though."

"Friends still hear each other out, even if we're exes. So if you need to vent about that, I can..." I said. Did I want to hear venting about my ex having issues with the girl she broke up with me for? I swallowed my pride and lingering hurt and added, "I can do my best to help."

"Roxana's just...I dunno, she's acting...weird," Ko said. "She was always kind of weird, mind you, but...ever since she showed up here, it's like she's different."

"Does she talk to you like that a lot?" I asked.

"She didn't before," Ko said. "She was fun before. Now it's like...I dunno. We used to just talk about beam chasers and make out and make drama and other fun junk."

I tried to ignore the stinging pain hearing 'make out' in there. We broke up. We both are moving on.

"So I figured we'd just do that again, but after I told her I'd go to the dance, she asked if I'd join this club," Ko said. "I told her I was busy with beam chasers and couldn't do anything else, then she got all weird with me. She's been all pissy about it since, and we've been fighting like that."

"Oh..." I said. "Ko, you didn't actually go out with her again, did you? If she's treating you like that..."

"I know, I know, and I'm not," Ko laughed bitterly. "I know we split for a lot of reasons, but it is funny that my dumb ass dumped you for a girl who isn't even into me the same way anymore."

I didn't really find it funny, but I did respect how Ko didn't care much for having a filter. She said exactly what was on her mind.

"In that last argument, it sounded as if she was trying to get you to storm off, while blaming you for abandoning her," I said.

"Yeah, it does!" Ko said. "I didn't even say I was gonna dance with anyone else, she just started saying that and...I kinda just played along with the argument. I wanted to win or something." She sighed deeply. "But I don't really win at much, do I?"

"It seems as though our lot is to lose regularly, doesn't it..." I said. "I say you don't speak to her again. Or, at least for the rest of the dance. You don't deserve anyone treating you like that."

"Alright..." Ko said, voice going just a bit soft. "Yeah, thanks."

"Would you like to head back out to the dance floor?" I said. "You may not have said you'd dance with anyone else, but..."

Ko grinned mischievously. "I could prove her right, in a way."

She rose to her feet, standing beside me.

"I know we're not together anymore Lillia, and I did a lot to mess us up," Ko said. But please stay my friend no matter what, alright? I don't know what I'd do without you."

I stood to join her. "Of course. Always."

I knew I did a lot to damage our relationship too, from my overt focus on classwork to my inability to really communicate what we needed to say to each other, and that we had compatibility issues that we just couldn't find ways around. That said, though, there was a very small sliver of a thought in my mind wondering if I should try convincing Ko about polycules again. And then bring her to Sai and Ana—

Whoa, whoa. Don't get ahead of yourself. I thought. Remember when you thought you'd be dating all your suitors back when Roux and Latte and Ko were all pining at the same time? Sheer hubris. Take things one step at a time and maybe it'll work out better. It's just a dance, have fun, don't worry too much or fret about feelings.

"I'm trying to find someone," I said. "Or two someones. Want to join me? Maybe you'll pick up a dance partner or two along the way."

I don't think I had ever seen Ko smile so brightly as she did there.

"Sounds awesome, Lillia," Ko said.

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