Rising Shards

Careful with that," I said as Marmalade pressed the beans on my clawed hand. Each press made my claws jut out of each finger, like a cat.

"So cool..." Marmalade said.

For some weird reason, my left arm had gone all Downside mode, so it was bigger, more muscular, more monstrous, with claws and fur. I asked Marmalade to look me over, and that pretty quickly turned into her playing with the beans and paw pad on my hand. We were just standing in the middle of our room between our bunk bed and Zeta's.

"Marms." I said.

"Oh! Sorry." Marmalade said. "Uh, yeah, it's definitely all Downsided. Good thing it didn't happen during the game, at least?"

"That's for sure," I said, shuddering just thinking about how things would have gone then. Probably would've gotten ejected from the game, kicked from the team after everything was found out.

"Did you feel this coming on?" Marmalade asked.

"I didn't," I said, trying to trace back the last few minutes. It was just me and you, and...we were hanging out..." Marms and I were hanging out after a game, she hugged me at the game and was explaining the hug... "Yeah, I dunno. Nothing is jumping out at me."

"Hm," Marmalade sounded like she only half heard me.

"What do we do about it now?" I asked.

"Hmmm," Marmalade stroked her chin.

"And maybe come up with ideas other than playing with the beans, please?" I asked.

"Oh! Sorry," Marmalade said. "They feel really nice, though, like a crisp kind of cold."

I used my not-shifted hand to touch the other, and Marms' description was pretty spot on. That didn't really help, though.

"How about we wrap a blanket around it?" Marmalade suggested. "That way if Zeta comes in...it'll be covered up? Then we can just say you're doing a new bit with a blanket or something, otherwise she'd be all, 'What the freak!?' And get her tail all poofed up."

"I guess," I said, impressed with how accurate her Zeta impression was. "But we gotta get it back to normal, fast. That shopping thing is real soon..." I cursed.

"Sorry," Marmalade said.

"It's not your fault," I said.

"I mean sorry in am empathy way!" Marmalade said. "Can you like, will it back to normal? You're getting good at shifting when you want."

I tried, putting myself in the mindset I'd been in when a fight ends, that feeling of relief, that seemed to bring me back to normal. But it didn't feel the same with just one arm shifted. Like not just the physical feeling of being lopsided, it made me feel like everything was off. I tried shifting fully, thinking maybe that would let me shift everything back to normal. But nothing, just a fluttery stomach and a weird arm.

"Damn," Marmalade said. "Well, if you can't get back in time, I won't be mad if you have to stay."

"I don't want that," I said, scowling. "You asked me to the dance, I want to go all out for you."

Marmalade's eyes widened. The side of me that wouldn't blurt stuff out was apparently off balance too. Not that I regretted saying that, more so that if I was in a normal head space I probably would have picked my words a bit more carefully, or slathered a layer of my patented snark over it.

"That's...heh, wow..." Marmalade grinned as she scratched the back of her head. My eyes locked onto her forearm for some reason. My heart pounded, and warmth filled me.

Before I knew it, Marmalade's wrist was in my clawed hand, and I'd pulled it close. She smelled so good, too good even.

"Whoa! Kalei?" Marmalade asked.

"She wants something," I said. My voice came out monotone, like it wasn't even my own.

"What? Who wants something?" Marmalade said, making no effort to get out of my grasp.

I blinked. "Uh...wait, what did I say?" I managed to let go.

"You said 'she wants something,'" Marmalade said. For someone who just heard that after getting grabbed by a big-ass monster hand, Marms was taking this really well. "Is...Downside like, trying to talk to you?"

Sometimes it felt like there was something more to this Downside thing than just the monster self I shifted to. That hunger, that animal-like urge for fighting and whatnot. But I also figured it was still just me. But I did drink some random concoction from a Taramin lab, so I couldn't say for sure if this was just a power boost or something more. A chill ran down my spine as I wondered if I'd accidentally done the same thing as Aira and Syval. Was there someone trapped in some pocket dimension stuck somewhere inside me in some cosmic way now, too?

"Maybe try talking to her!" Marmalade said.

"That...might work?" I said. "Uh, hey Downside, how's it going, girl?"

"What, are you flirting with her?" Marmalade squinted.

"You're the one who told me to talk to her!" I said. "I'm just...making conversation."

I found it kinda weird that Marms squinted at that, it was her idea and all. I rolled my eyes and tried again.

"So...you want something?" I asked. I didn't feel a response right away, then I felt a strong desire to hold Marms by her arm again. I resisted the urge, gripping my left arm with my right the best I could.. "You can't just grab people!"

"Did she talk back?" Marmalade asked.

"Not in words, I just felt a weird...urge," I said. "I think she wants your arm, I guess?"

Marmalade dutifully held her arm forward. What did I do to deserve such a cool friend who was this chill about this bizarre situation?

"You sure?" I asked. "I dunno if she wants to like, rip your arm off or something."

"I'm sure she doesn't," Marmalade said. "If there is some other...whoever in there, she still fights with us, you know? And if not, it's you! And I know you won't hurt me."

I nodded, finding no words for once. I let go and let whatever the urge was, some monster inside me, some other thing, or just my own desires amplified, I let that get what she wanted. And once again, Marmalade's forearm was in my clawed hand. I didn't immediately rip her arm off or anything. Strangely, my monstered up arm was holding Marmalade's almost gently. I had that same floaty feeling I had when the two of us were skinny dipping. I could suddenly very clearly imagine how it would be to dance with Marmalade, and suddenly some of the things I'd been worrying about the dance in the back of my mind didn't feel so scary.

Then Marmalade yelped as something started to glow. A line running down her forearm, glowing a deep crimson, almost the exact same shade as the junk in that vial I drank back at the lab.

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