Rising Shards

I wondered why I even bothered. Lyla suggested asking someone last minute to the dance if I really didn't want to go alone. For some reason, I thought it'd work to find someone among those making the utterly pointless train ride to Litus Empirica and back.

Well, there was a clear reason. I worked up the nerve to see if I could find anyone in the dorms who wanted to go last minute, and in the commons area, I saw Ko...with Roxana. The two were just casually chatting, I wasn't even sure if Ko ended up taking Roxana on her offer to go to the dance, but seeing my ex with the girl she broke up with me for...it was a bit much. So I effectively fled, wandering around campus in a dress. Fortunately spring was finally here, so I wasn't freezing or anything, but my wanders were aimless until I heard chatter about a big group taking the train to the city and back to get pictures with the big city backdrop, then head back for a grander entrance to the dance. It seemed a bit like a scheme to get us to ride the fairly underused train line from school and back, but I couldn't be picky now.

Did I even want to get a date shortly before going to the dance? I'd be going with my friends. I didn't really need to. But I also didn't want to be a third wheel if it ended up just being myself, Oka, and Zeta.

The train car I ended up on was buzzing with people, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. I sat across from Chumbler and Z.O.K., who weren't exactly people I was interested in even if they weren't inextricable from each other.

Since the dances were separated by grade, it was mostly people I knew around me, or at least had some contact with. Save for a few grumpy third years just trying to take the train who didn't realize they'd be stuck in this mess. Nobody I was really interested in. Seeing Ovie and 09's polycule of sorts chatting about nothing made me more jealous than anything. I couldn't even manage to keep one girlfriend, how was it fair they got to have so many?

Another group came in, sitting down just before the train departed. I scanned them over, seeing a few more familiar faces from recent events. Tay locked eyes with me, and I thought about all the times we'd spent together recently.

A rush of energy went through me. Was the obvious answer right in front of me? How could I be so blind? All these matchmaking games, whether in the void or on a bus, and through them this one girl was there for it all, a lovestruck girl that's always longing for someone, just like me. Was my soulmate staring me in the face? It felt like harps were playing in my mind, beautiful music soaring, maybe this was it. Tay approached me, and the feelings only increased.

"Lillia, just a heads up, the last time I took the train, I sat in this very car. Someone sat in that spot you sit in now, and they farted very loudly, it was only a bit ago and I fear that may still linger," Tay said, deadly serious.

"Ah. Thanks." I said, the harp music playing in my head trailing off like someone smashed the record player.

Eh. No, it wasn't really an obvious answer. Just me being hopeful. Tay excused herself, and I was alone again. I couldn't even speak to a single person, couldn't start a single conversation. I couldn't do anything right.

As the train car rumbled, I bit my lip, uncertain of what to do. It felt like everyone was on the other side of the car, and I was entirely by myself, not even able to get anyone to sit by me. I'd never felt so pathetic. Another group passed through, seemingly walking through all the train cars.

"Here, finally some empty seats," Esther said.

It was five of the devils, Sai, Esther, Myles, Charmaine, and Ash. No Anastasia with them.

"Why are we doing this again?" Sai asked.

"Because Ana's hanging out with her band, so we need to do something to pass the time," Ash said.

"And I've never been on the train, so!" Charmaine said.

"Here's some empty seats, finally," Esther said.

"Oh, hey Lillia," Sai said. "Mind if we sit by you?"

"It's fine," I said.

The devils were also along to the various match making events. I didn't feel anything romantic for any of them, but curiously as I thought that, I felt like a voice in the back of my head whispered, "Yet."

In spite of everything, I did get along with all of them so far. I even went to their dorm to hang out.

Maybe I should talk to them.

"Um, so," I said. "Anastasia's with her band?"

"Yeah, they're playing at the prom," Myles said.

"I dunno why she stays in it, I don't think any of them get along," Sai said. "But hopefully after that's done she can just hang out with us."

"For sure," Esther said. "Do you have any big plans for the dance, Lillia?"

"I'm here by myself, so, that's my answer there," I said, sounding far more bitter than I intended to.

"Yeah, I get it," Sai said. "We're all just going as friends."

"I am too, but...I got concerned I'd be a third or fifth wheel with my friends, so," I said. Wait, am I just telling them that so easily?

"All of us are third or fifth wheels, so we get it," Charmaine said.

"Heh, so we're alike there, at least," I said. "I..." I couldn't bring myself to say I was hoping for a last-minute date, though. I kept that closed off, but maybe they all sensed it without me saying it.

"If you want, we can all walk in together," Sai suggested. "Stick with our fifth wheel group and we can all hang out."

"Yeah, while Ana's playing we can hang out with your group too, we promise we won't get all pissy with Zeta like she does," Ash said.

"That..." I couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Sounds great, yes."

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