Nicholas nodded slowly. "Yes."
"And the strange things that have been happening to me lately? The lights flickering? Things moving when I get upset?"
"Yes," Nicholas said quietly. "We suspect it’s all connected."
Something inside Lilith broke.
"Then why did you LIE to me?!" The words came out louder than she intended and tears were already forming in her eyes. "I came to you, Nicholas. I told you on several occasions that I suspected something was happening to me.
But you told me it was stress. You told me I was tired. You told me it was nothing."
Her voice was rising now and the tears were falling and she couldn’t stop them.
"Now you’re telling me I’m some kind of supernatural thing that you don’t even understand?! You lied to me! You kept this from me and you lied!"
She was gasping for air now, her chest heaving, and Sebastian was immediately there, his hand on her back rubbing gentle circles.
"Breathe, Lilith," he said quietly. "Breathe. You’re okay. Just breathe."
She tried to follow his instruction, tried to slow her breathing, but the panic was overwhelming and the incomplete bond was aching and everything was too much. She felt as if her chest was about to explode.
"In and out," Sebastian murmured. "Slow. That’s it. You’re okay."
Gradually her breathing evened out and the panic receded enough that she could think again. She wiped her face with shaking hands and looked at Nicholas, who had not moved, who was just sitting there watching her with an expression that looked like it was breaking him.
"I didn’t know what was happening to you at first," Nicholas said, and his voice was careful and measured. "I still don’t fully understand it. But I didn’t want you to panic. I didn’t want to tell you something was wrong when I had no answers to give you."
"So you lied instead."
"I told you what I thought would keep you calm until I knew more." He squeezed her hand gently. "The things that happened during your heat...the power surges, the way the room shook when Kael marked you, we’ve been investigating since then. Trying to understand what you are. What’s waking up inside you."
"And?"
"And we’re going to look into your mother’s side of the family," Nicholas said. "That should give us answers soon. Real answers. Not speculation."
Lilith looked down at their joined hands and felt exhaustion settle over her like a blanket. She was so tired. So confused. So scared.
"He did what he had to do," Sebastian said quietly from beside her. "Please don’t blame him, Lilith."
She looked at him.
"He did it to keep you safe," Sebastian continued. "To maintain your sanity. He didn’t want you to worry about things we don’t have answers to yet. So please... don’t be mad at him."
Lilith was quiet for a long moment, looking between Nicholas’s careful expression and Sebastian’s desperate one and Lucian standing at the foot of the bed watching her like he was afraid she was going to disappear.
"I’m not mad," she said finally, and her voice was small and tired. "I’m scared."
"We know," Nicholas said.
"I don’t know what I am. I don’t know what’s happening to me. And now I have this..." She touched the incomplete mark on her throat and felt the ache flare again. "...this thing pulling at me and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t understand any of this...i don’t know what is happening"
Sebastian pulled her closer, careful and slow like he was approaching something fragile. "The mark is incomplete because you rejected it while you were unconscious. You couldn’t consent so your body said no."
Lilith looked at him.
"When you’re ready," Sebastian continued quietly. "If you’re ready. We can complete it. But only if you choose it."
"And if I don’t?" she asked.
His jaw tightened. "Then it stays like this. Incomplete. And it will hurt us both. But it’s your choice, Lilith. I won’t force you. None of us will."
"How long can you..." She trailed off, not sure how to ask.
"How long can I handle the incomplete bond?" Sebastian finished for her. "I don’t know. Days maybe. Not weeks. But that’s not your problem. That’s mine."
"Sebastian...."
"You take the time you need," he said firmly. "You think about what you want. And when you’re ready to decide, we’ll be here to accept whatever you make."
Lilith felt the tears start again and she was so tired of crying but she could not seem to stop. Everything was too much. The incomplete bond and the missing memories and the fear of what she might be and the knowledge that she had walked six miles into the forest without knowing why or how.
"I need time," she whispered. "To think. To understand."
"Take all the time you need," Nicholas said immediately.
But Lilith could see it in all their faces.....the tension, the fear, the unspoken knowledge that time was the one thing they did not have.
Whatever had called her into the forest could come back.
The curse was still counting down.
And she had decisions to make that would affect all of them whether she was ready or not.
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillows, exhausted and overwhelmed and so very alone despite being surrounded by three men who would do anything for her.
"Can I sleep?" she asked quietly. "Just for a little while?"
"Of course," Nicholas said. "We’ll be right here."
Lilith did not have the energy to argue. She just let herself drift, felt the darkness pulling at her again, and hoped that when she woke up this time things would make more sense.
The brothers looked at each other across the room, Nicholas looked at Sebastian’s broken face, Lucian’s unsteady breath, and made a decision.
He won’t let her go, no matter what decision she comes up with, he won’t let her go. Even if she comes to hate him, He has to protect his brothers.
She is their mate, she belongs to them, no matter what secret they might have kept from her, she belongs to them. And heaven knows that when Victoria comes for her, which he knows she would do, he would fight her with everything he has.
Because loosing her is defiantly not an option.
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