Sexx, Secrets and Orgasms

I headed upstairs and watched the girls sleep. They would be teenagers soon and they were growing up so fast. Right before my dad died they had gotten their periods. They were turning into fine young adults and I was proud to be their sister. I went to each one of them and kissed them good night and whispered that I loved them.

"Hey Sissy," Olivia said in a sleepy voice.

"Hey Liv."

"You back?"

"I just got back but I have to leave again. Emily is going to stay with you."

"I miss you Cad."

"I miss you to honey and Ashley, but I have to work."

"I know, but I can still miss you. When will you be back?"

"Sunday. I gotta go," I said giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I love you Liv.

"I love you too. Goodnight," she said.

I kissed Ashley again and closed the door. I hated to leave them, but I had to go. I grabbed a few items from my bedroom and left.

The ride wasn’t too bad. The last time I was there was the night that I had met Robert, Evan, Paul and reunited with David. I turned on the radio to hear Anita Baker’s Rapture.

"Wow," I said out loud. The same song he sang to me not long ago. I sang along until the song went off. I thought about him and my heart skipped a beat.

I continued to drive as Duran Duran’s Hungry Like The Wolf, came on. I thought of Paul. I missed him too. Paul was my rock and somehow I also had feelings for him. I missed his arrogant attitude but also missed his comfort. He was a no nonsense kind of guy but when he was affectionate, he pulled the heart strings.

Was it possible to actually have deep emotional feelings for two men? I thought it was Robert but he was an attachment due to him being my first. Evan and Paul gave me something I couldn’t explain.

Although Paul had been gone for six months, I missed him just as much as I missed Evan and I had only left him hours ago. I wish I could merge the two and it would be perfect because I wouldn’t have to choose. But who was to say that they were the ones?

If it came to having to choose one over the other who would I choose? Maybe the best thing to do was to go another way and not commit so much of my time and affection to one or the other. Evan said he would wait, but the question was how long?

Shit, I was so confused. Evan had admitted his love for me but I couldn’t tell him back. Did that make me selfish? How could a woman want two men as much as I wanted them. Yep, I was selfish and I felt bad about it.

Maybe if I had fun with somebody else, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about being with them or maybe they could make me forget about Evan and Paul. Maybe I could do one of those rebirth type of programs where I can just start all over and move on. Yep maybe that was the way to go. So I decided that at the ball I was going to do that. Fuck who was I kidding! Those two had branded me and hopeful I could forget them for only a little while. Maybe just for the weekend.

I needed some fun of not being tied down but to actual experience something different on my terms. Lilly had sent me a correspondence to the house explaining what I had to do. I figured it was just mixing and mingling with guests but she told me it was very important that I read it.

I changed the radio. All these mushy romance songs were getting to me. I decided on a country station. Although I didn’t know the songs, they were catchy.

I finally pulled up to the main road that led to the mansion. It was dark as I pulled up to the gate. I pressed the button and I said my name.

The tall wrought iron gate opened wide as I drove my car through. The paved road took me straight to the front door. I was greeted by Gabriel as I parked the car.

"Ms. Cadence welcome back," he said coming down the stairs.

"Mrs. Marci said you were on your way. If you give me your keys, I will park your car in the back."

"Thanks Gabriel," I said handing him my keys. I gave him a smile and grabbed my bag and headed inside.

"Welcome back," I heard Langston’s voice. He was dressed in black loose pants and a black muscle t-shirt. His face looked flushed and his hands were behind his back.

"Thank you Langston. Are you okay? You look a little flushed."

"I’m fine." He looked around as he spotted Gabriel walking back in.

"Oh, I had Gabriel make you some tea. I know it can be a long ride here and this chamomile tea will help you relax."

"Thank you," I said.

"Gabriel can you show Ms. Cadence to her room? Your dress was delivered this morning. The hair and makeup team will be here around four to get you ready along with Mrs. Marci. Ms Lilly sent you instructions for tomorrow night in an envelope in her office."

"Thanks Langston."

"You are quite welcome. If you will excuse me," he nodded and headed in the direction of the basement.

"Does Langston have a client tonight?" I asked Gabriel as he took my bag.

He looked at me as if he was fighting with the answer.

"No."

"Oh," I said looking at Gabriel. He led me up the staircase. My room was ready. The fireplace was going and a vase of magnolias had the room smelling fresh. The scent was so amazing, calming.

"Thank you Gabriel," I said as he put my overnight bag on the floor. He nodded and left.

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