Solaena's [Guided] Journey (Fantasy LitRPG)

Staying focused on my reading while the pressure of one of my Aspects advancing kept building and building and building was already a hassle.

But when that pressure caused many of the [Insight]s I derived from my reading to simply vanish into nothingness, never to return, I sensibly opted to take a temporary break from the Seeker sanctuary in favor of organizing all the precious notes I had recorded over the last... month?

I failed to accurately remember how much time had passed since I began living in the Faith's Prime Temple, but at this point, it should at least have been a month, right?

Not that I cared one bit about how long it had actually been.

Others may have been obsessed with keeping a tight timekeeping record of how they spent their every living hour, but that wasn't my case.

And I had [Guided] to thank for that.

Timekeeping became irrelevant when every waking moment was spent practicing, after all.

Hunger and exhaustion, which others interpreted as signs that they needed to attend to their various bodily needs, couldn't have meant anything more different to me.

Hunger was simply an unavoidable reaction caused by my large expenditure of energy, one that only served as [Tempering] material until it was solved, signaling its imminent return.

Exhaustion was something I had learned to live with, just like any of my Aspects. It was simply part of who I was, and not being exhausted only ever caused me to be [Guided] through more intense [Exertion]s.

Hence, how long I had been living in the Prime Temple was not a piece of information relevant to any factor of my existence other than my aging.

And I couldn't care less about my age.

My wings would mature and allow me to take flight when my Essence did, and there was nothing I could do about that other than wait.

At least that's what the books I had found and read on the subject told me.

As for where the exact notes I had written about those books were...

Aspect Advanced: [Insight] (Tier 0) ➞ [Insight] (Tier 1)

For a blink of time, my mind felt as if it had been cleansed of a weight that couldn't be described with words.

Before I could apprehend a wisp of this sense of crystal-clear clarity opening my mind to untold comprehension, however, everything vanished, returning my mind to a state I could only disappointingly describe as murky and lethargic.

"That was unpleasant..." I mumbled, then promptly returned to the mind-numbing [Guided] task of organizing my notes, gradually coming to terms with the emerging impact of my newly advanced [Insight].

Which evidently turned out to be nearly unnoticeable at first, considering its nature as a mental Aspect, but slowly revealed itself to be as extraordinary as I had anticipated from what I read up on it.

It wasn't about increasing my ability to retain knowledge.

It wasn't even about augmenting my learning speed.

It was about comprehension.

Revisiting what I had already learned and suddenly understanding it from a new perspective.

Connecting two fields I would have never assumed had so much in common until it became so obvious.

Realizing there were still so many missing pieces in my understanding of Essence, of Origin Aspects, of Path Aspects, of the Nexus Realm...

Fortunately, I still had much to read up on here in the Seeker sanctuary.

Otherwise, I could already see myself packing up my belongings and departing for one of those "better" Sectors without so much as a shred of hesitation.

Though I guessed I should first evaluate the risk of undertaking such a journey, if it was even plausible...

◇ ◈ ◈ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◈ ◈ ◇

"Wakey, wakey, little one," a delicate voice filled with warmth intruded upon my sleep, unhurriedly pulling me back into the Realm of consciousness in a way I wasn't used to.

Before I became cognizant of it, accustomed as I was to the process, I let myself be [Guided] to open my eyes, but what generally followed next—reestablishing my [Cycle] and making my first "daily" [Exertion]s—didn't transpire this time.

Instead, I was led to look around for reasons my indolent mind couldn't understand.

My state of indolence didn't last long, as my [Perception] quickly caught onto two strange figures that didn't belong in my usual waking scenery, standing right outside the recess where my bed was situated.

"Yes..." My reaction didn't take long, and even as my sight remained blurry, I voiced the fact that I was awake and aware, listening to whoever it was I now realized through the haze of sleepiness had actually woken me. "What...?"

"She has all three Serafae traits too, look, iridescent irises, unpatterned crystal wings, pale opalescent hair. There's no way she was born through Essence amalgamation."

"Damn... It's my first time seeing one in the flesh. She's so pretty. And color me surprised, the missive was actually correct. She's certainly not a year old yet. I give her twelve or thirteen months at best if she hasn't had her growth stunted from a lack of nutrition."

Hearing the ongoing talk, my interest in waking up flared, and with the motivation to finally do so, I blinked the drowsiness away with a controlled [Will] manifestation, allowing me to get a first clear look at the two culprits who dared to wake me up and speak about such novel knowledge.

Fairies.

Not figments of my imagination.

Actual fairies, with a fairy's size, big, bright eyes, colorful pairs of wings, two arms, two legs, and actual fairy-sized garments.

It was my first encounter with others of my kind, having never met one outside and with fairies absent from the Faith's Prime Temple for some reason.

I...

I didn't know how to react.

It was so sudden that my words escaped me, and I could only stare blankly as the two continued their discussion while scrutinizing me.

"Doesn't she look particularly healthy to you? Because she does in my eyes. I wonder what they're feeding her."

"Aren't you more curious about the unique circumstances that allowed her to be recruited straightaway by the Faith?"

"I can hear you, you know." Ultimately, it took the support of being [Guided] to finally untangle my tongue and utter my first words directed at the two fairies. "And I have so many questions that I don't even resent you for waking me up."

"She talks!" One of the fairies seemed horrifyingly taken aback to see me talk.

"Of course she does, you moron." The other fairy slapped the back of the head of the one who had just said that. "Did you seriously not read the missive, Esion? She's exceptionally premature. Why? Did you think the Faith's Prime Temple had a maternity ward to take care of babies and unruly youngsters?"

"That— No— But— What‽" The first fairy, Esion, appeared to be failing to process the exceptionalism of my existence.

I couldn't really begrudge him for that.

What I could begrudge him for, however, was why they had only decided to show up now, days after I had already made extensive efforts to seek anyone else of my kind.

"So? Who are you? Why are you here? Are you with the Faith? Do you know why there aren't any other fairies here? That's weird, isn't it? Are fairies disliked in this city? Are you all lazy like everyone else? Do you have advice to give me on how to best develop my Essen—"

And just like that, before I could stop myself, questions I had repressed for too long uncontrollably escaped the deepest recesses of my mind, unbidden.

"Hey! Slow down! Slow down! We hear you, alright!" Esion recovered from his daze under my onslaught of questions and cut me off before my questions could enter territories better left unuttered.

"For starters, your eloquence freaks me out. Even if you can already talk, shouldn't you be just getting started with a bunch of easy questions and heaps of yeses and nos like any other smart baby?"

The other fairy also appeared bewildered following my barrage of elaborate interrogations.

Weird.

No one else I had conversed with in the Faith had that type of reaction...

Was it because my size as a fairy prevented them from realizing how young I truly was?

Now that I thought about it...

As for possible explanations...

Well, I had plenty of them, really.

My earliest memories were getting increasingly blurry with time, but I could still remember being [Guided] to just stay awake against my sleepiness to listen to what was going on around me in the refuge.

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That's how I ended up forming [Insight], I believed.

It also certainly contributed to the formation of my [Perception] Aspect as a nice side [Exertion] of seeking to pierce the veil of [Darkness] by staring it right in its metaphorical eyes.

Being [Guided] to do that never really stopped, actually, not even now, and throughout my stay in the refuge, then in the tower, I listened to so much that I simply ended up mastering the theory of conversing through sheer exposure.

And from the moment I met that group of people undergoing their harvest run, I had the perfect environment and incentive to put all that theory into [Exertion].

"Everyone else is just lazy." I ultimately settled on that answer. "When you're a baby that can't move, what else do you have to do but listen to the giants talking?"

Esion tilted his head to the side with a frown. "Sounds about as wrong an explanation as you could give. What are you thinking, Idell? Is she crazy? Should we leave? You know I don't do well with smartasses."

"Stop it." Idell sent a death glare that silenced him. "Let us begin with the beginning. The Faith sent the Fairy House a missive slightly over three weeks ago to inform us of your existence and circumstances, but we somehow forgot to open it until just yesterday, and so here we are to check up on you, also conveniently using the opportunity to make some high-floor deliveries."

The Fairy House.

Whenever I asked members of the Faith about where I could find other fairies, they uttered that name as if that solved every problem, but the reality was that the Fairy House was located on the fourteenth floor.

With the Prime Temple situated on the fifty-eighth floor, close to the top of the structure on which Red Sand Rift City came into existence, and judging by how fast Guardian Elric had been while climbing up from the fourth floor where his Lower Temple was, that may as well have been a days-long journey for me.

What's more, I was still a grounded fairy, making the journey absurdly more dangerous.

So yeah, I had learned of the Fairy House's existence weeks ago, but when I asked Lora if I could visit, she simply told me to make a case for why I needed to visit them and in what way it was worth having an escort assigned to me to ensure my safety all the way there and back.

I failed to convince her.

Consequently, I simply told myself it was better to wait for my wings and Essence to mature so that I would be able to go there and back by flying.

Much easier and less convoluted.

"Check up on me..."

I didn't know why, but that reason didn't really inspire me.

Was it because I was already being [Guided] to live my life by filling it to the absolute edge with [Exertion]s of all kinds?

"Well, as you can see, there's no problem. I'm developing my Essence. I already learned how to read, write, and count. I have free access to the Seeker sanctuary and am learning more every day, as you can probably guess from this pile of notes here..."

As the knowledge of how I was living my life was positively worthless, I didn't hold anything back, even pulling my still-warm blanket away to show off my perfectly healthy body.

Idell rolled her eyes at me when I did that last one, mumbling something about me truly still being a kid.

"...I have friends I regularly talk with about the various books and knowledge we've discovered. I have a standing invitation to join the Faith, which I'll probably accept soon, as I want to join the Sentinel training. I very much want some actual fighting experience with giants, what's more, in a safe training environment with actual instructors. It will be such a novel—"

"Alright, we get it," Esion interrupted me again, though this time he did it much more gently. "Can we go somewhere else to talk this through? Your dwelling is fine and stuff, but you know, there's like better places to have this kind of talk."

Idell didn't say anything, but I could somehow make out an overall sense of agreement coming from her.

I searched through my recollections of the Prime Temple, which I had accumulated over time whenever I felt like exploring, and that did the trick as I was reminded of a place I was told was made specifically to welcome "guests".

"Right."

I quickly changed my clothes under their befuddled stares, Esion turning around with a grand sigh that echoed through the recess where my bed was located, then I picked up my backpack, now the ever-bulging designated carrier of the Faith Dictionary and the Essence Encyclopedia.

"Let's go, I know where the closest guests whatever place is."

I jumped off my recess, a slightly tight beat of my wings habitually softening my descent, allowing me to smoothly take off semi-running.

When I turned around to see whether Idell and Esion had followed, I witnessed the two gliding through the air nonchalantly, their wings twitching and flapping in masterful strokes that displayed how at ease they were with the wondrous action that was flying.

One day.

Stimulated by what I had just witnessed, I accelerated my pace until I was properly running, all so I could observe how Idell and Esion adapted to my increased speed.

They didn't disappoint.

I really wanted to fly already.

Speeding through the corridors, it didn't take us long to reach the place I remembered, and I was proven right when I read "Guest Hall" displayed right above the giant-sized door that led to where I wanted to go.

Pushing open a closed door was generally an exercise in frustration, but this time, with two flying fairies helping me, it became effortless, and thus, we had an empty guest hall all to ourselves.

"You need a new backpack," Idell commented, lightly landing beside me once I climbed on top of a random table.

"Maybe it fit you fine in the past, but your wings are obviously already getting hindered by it now. The Fairy House makes special backpacks that don't have that issue, as flying transportation is one of the jobs we can do that pay the most. It's a shame we didn't have anything heavy to deliver on the way here, or we would have been able to show you one. You should definitely try one when you visit in the future."

"In the future," I agreed, relieved to so easily find a solution to one of my most annoying impending issues.

Dragging my books and stationery around by hand would have gotten exasperating very quickly, the increased [Exertion] in no way making up for the loss of time and efficiency it would beget.

But then it dawned on me that she didn't even seem to be considering taking me back to the Fairy House anymore.

Not that I wanted to, when the Prime Temple still had so much to offer, but still...

"Anyhow, should we get to giving you some apparently much-needed answers?" She smirked. "Ask away, we're not in a hurry to leave now that we're here. It both gives us time to rest and time for the Faith to make a round to collect anything they want to deliver to the lower floors."

As many questions as there were grains of sand blown by a strong gale popped into my mind when she finally allowed me to ask whatever I wanted.

It was overwhelming.

One moment, I figured that I would first ask about Origin Aspects, then the next it became about fairies, and the instant after that, my mind was filled with questions concerning what I had read about fairy reproduction and how that related to me.

That was it.

"Me," I started. "What's that word you used... Serafae? And something about Essence amalgamation?"

"That..." Idell hesitated for a moment, but seemed to come to a decision shortly after. "What have you read about how fairies reproduce?"

"A male and a female proceed with sexual activity and do something with their Essence that results in a new life being nurtured inside the female's womb," I recited the knowledge I had summarized without truly comprehending it yet.

"That's Essence amalgamation," Idell said. "Another term for it would be natural reproduction. Two fairies come together and merge their Essence, bringing about a new fairy baby with traits inherited from their two parents. Traits being skin tone, eye and hair color, wing patterns, facial features, those types of things."

I nodded, my [Insight] Aspect getting to work linking what I was being told with what little I had already read on the subject, gradually adding colors to the dull picture I had painted of fairy reproduction.

"Then there's environmental reproduction, and most probably how you were conceived." She paused to stare at me, Esion doing the same thing.

I blinked in confusion under their insistent gazes.

Was I... supposed to feel weird about something?

"For us fairies, female fairies only, mind you, becoming pregnant can actually occur without it being an active decision, instead being something passively and spontaneously imposed on us by a freak accident."

"As for the exact hows and whys this is a thing, the best explanation we have to this day is that the first fairies were actually born through this exact method, manifested and then nurtured inside a truly unique Realm with an Essence environment that spontaneously gave birth to a near-endless variety of fairies until our kind gained the ability to reproduce independently."

"Having said that, what do you think would happen if such an Essence environment were to manifest right here and now around us?"

"Huh... I don't know? A new baby fairy would manifest? Maybe? How long does it take for a fairy to manifest in such an Essence environment?" I answered the sudden question by simply repeating what I had just been told, not thinking much about it.

"Well, if you allow me to skip this useless debate, I'll just straightforwardly tell you the answer we reached, and our collective answer to such an unlikely event is..." She raised her two arms and opened them in my direction. "You."

"Me?"

"You," she repeated, then elaborated further. "As in, a fairy born out of environmental reproduction. A freak accident that involves both a female fairy ready to conceive and something we named a fairy Essence environment manifestation. Can you see where I'm going with that?"

No way.

"So... like... it can just happen? Just like that? I could become pregnant with another me right now? And you too?"

"Pfff—" Esion made a strange sound upon hearing my perfectly reasonable question, prompting me to look back at what I had asked and whether I had made a ridiculous assumption, but no matter how I turned my questions around...

"That's not it," Idell took it upon herself to give me an answer.

"First, you're way too young to be able to conceive. We fairies only attain reproductive maturity at around fourteen years of age. That means even if you wanted to or a fairy Essence environment manifestation happened to you, it would achieve absolutely nothing."

"Second, it wouldn't be another you. Just like how we supposed the Essence environment continuously shifted in our hypothesized birth Realm, there are most certainly similarly endless variations of fairy Essence environment manifestations."

"And third, it's much, much, much more complicated than you imagine for environmental reproduction to occur and for the embryo of a new fairy to be manifested from just Essence and a mother. The environment has to be sustained for some time, after all."

"As for how that all connects back to you, it's pretty simple, really. Over centuries, or millennia really—not like we would know the details in this Nexus-forsaken city—our kind has never stopped seeking what distinguishes fairies born from environmental reproduction from those born naturally."

"From this effort, we somewhat succeeded in reverse-inferring the effects of a broad spectrum of fairy Essence environments, such as what a fairy born from one type of Essence environment would look like, how differently they would behave, and a bunch of other things you don't need to concern yourself with."

"That leads us back to you and your apparent traits. Your iridescent eyes, unpatterned crystal wings, and pale opalescent hair are proof enough that the most likely Essence environment to have manifested you is one we call a Serafae environment, and so you're a Serafae fairy."

That was...

Baffling?

Amazing?

Irrelevant?

I didn't quite know how to feel about what I had just learned.

It certainly wasn't what I expected to hear when I naively inquired about what Serafae meant.

Nonetheless, the longer I spent mulling over all this knowledge, the faster I came to terms with the fateful circumstances that had brought me to life.

Even if it did not matter anymore, I had always wondered why I was abandoned at a refuge.

Now, I had an answer of sorts.

The fairy who had nurtured me from my conception through a freak Serafae environment manifestation to my birth, my mother, had never desired me.

And looking back, it made so much sense.

A baby was simply deadweight, siphoning resources that wouldn't be recovered until years later under normal circumstances.

Why would anyone resolve to take care of an unwanted baby that would only burden them, what's more, given Volow's harshness?

Not that I would ever acquire a perfect understanding of the circumstances surrounding my birth, with my mother probably already dead, buried or crushed somewhere underneath the ruins of Volow.

And even if I found her, what would change?

I had only ever had one true companion.

A companion that even now was urging me to ask more questions, to resume the various [Exertion]s of my Aspects, to not dwell on that pointless sadness that emanated from somewhere deep within...

[Guided].

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